New members, introduce yourself here.

[trigger]

Wow!

[Eddie Honda]

Superb. I think I've just struck one...

[Blarno]

How do? Signed up after witnessing one of a member of another forum I frequent posting his chewed up MG ZT on here. Reside in Cheshire, closer to the parts that are usually on fire or on Crimewatch, spend all day building toys for the rich and drive a 13 year old diesel Mondeo estate that just won't die, no matter how I abuse it. Nothing better than a car that cost next to nowt and does 45mpg no matter what you do with it.

[Guest mt200ish]

Hi 

I was googling lada1500 images . Clicked a pic and came to the shameless cars and girls thread.

Enjoyed the thread some much that I joined.

This is my old shite

[Guest grumpygramps]

evening all. the names steve joined the forum today so be jentle. proud owner of a ldv convoy & a 99 astra  .

[Eddie Honda]

Hello and welcome. Always pleased to hear about Ruskie and Sherpa-in-disguise chod.

[Supernaut]

How do? Signed up after witnessing one of a member of another forum I frequent posting his chewed up MG ZT on here. Reside in Cheshire, closer to the parts that are usually on fire or on Crimewatch, spend all day building toys for the rich and drive a 13 year old diesel Mondeo estate that just won't die, no matter how I abuse it. Nothing better than a car that cost next to nowt and does 45mpg no matter what you do with it.

 

I also joined for the same reason, also HAI BLARNO!

 

For those who don't know me, I live in NE Scotland in the oily city, but I work in IT, not oil. DERP.

 

I drive a 16yr old Audi A4 1.8T Quattro Sport that's not quite standard and was painted an utterly distasteful colour from the factory.

 

Click if you dare...

[Ghosty]

Welcome - that's two A4 Quattros now! 

 

Were those grey capless Boleros on eBay recently? I bid on them a bit.

[TataBobu]

Hello! Daewoo shite driver here, I'm in a white LPG Cielo. I still have a Lada 2105, an Accent X3, an Elantra (my wife drives that, as it's the most reliable in the stable) and a Dacia 1310.

[Eddie Honda]

I live in NE Scotland in the oily sheep shagger city

FTFY. We won't hold it against you. Welcome aboard.

[Guest culler29]

Hi I'm just trying to keep my 1998 Mk 3 Astra 1.7DTL going for bit longer, it's snapping rockers at the moment, so I may have to get another buggy while this one gets some attention. The joys of older vehicles. Tyneside based.

[Guest vancurious]

Hi everyone,

 

Just joined, not so much a shite-driver (well, VW golf must count these days) as a shite-researcher. In a story I'm working on, the main character is supposed to be given a series of horribly crap vans to drive. Trouble is, vanland is a totally foreign country to me. Would be grateful for any advice on the noisiest, most unsafe, least drivable work-jalopies you've encountered.

 

Cheers!

[eddyramrod]

What's the period?  I've spent a whole lot of my working life driving vans, and believe me I've driven some rubbish!  Give him a 1982 Mercedes 307D and you can't possibly go wrong...

[doobietoo]

 

I also joined for the same reason, also HAI BLARNO!

 

For those who don't know me, I live in NE Scotland in the oily city, but I work in IT, not oil. DERP.

 

I drive a 16yr old Audi A4 1.8T Quattro Sport that's not quite standard and was painted an utterly distasteful colour from the factory.

 

Click if you dare...

 

 

Hmmm an audi in limeflower green ... you will fit right in ....

[Eddie Honda]

Hello and welcome vancurious.

 

What's the period?  I've spent a whole lot of my working life driving vans, and believe me I've driven some rubbish!  Give him a 1982 Mercedes 307D and you can't possibly go wrong...

 

Oh come on eddyramrod, I had a 1985 207D and I think that trumps the 307D by being shite to drive and having a shiter payload too.

[D Spares & Tyres]

Hi everyone,

 

Just joined, not so much a shite-driver (well, VW golf must count these days) as a shite-researcher. In a story I'm working on, the main character is supposed to be given a series of horribly crap vans to drive. Trouble is, vanland is a totally foreign country to me. Would be grateful for any advice on the noisiest, most unsafe, least drivable work-jalopies you've encountered.

 

Cheers!

Start a topic, am sure you would get some interesting replies

[eddyramrod]

Hello and welcome vancurious.

 

 

Oh come on eddyramrod, I had a 1985 207D and I think that trumps the 307D by being shite to drive and having a shiter payload too.

I never got to drive a 207, thank the Lord above!  I can't imagine your assessment of it is wrong though.

[D Spares & Tyres]

Nothing can be worse than an LDV Pilot surely

[rantingYoof]

I found this forum also via the Last Chance Saloon thread, however after reviewing my car history (see signature) I figured that the only place on the entire Internet that is even remotely suitable for someone like me is this one.

[panhard65]

Nothing can be worse than an LDV Pilot surely

Try a CF diesel. We had a twin wheel pick up at the company I worked for back in the late 80's. Talk about slow we would draw straws to see who got the mk3 Transit which was like a Ferrari compared to the poor old CF

[Eddie Honda]

I never got to drive a 207, thank the Lord above!

Mine was about 16 years old at the time and a bit rough. I couriered it out of High Wycombe. First and only time I was pulled by the plod (Met) and weighed at Greenford. They did ask if I noticed the weight making me slow, to which I replied "No, it's always this slow". I was 10kg over on the front and 20% over on the rear (MAM 2600kg). Plod said I just scraped not getting a ticket (overall 16.9% over) I had to wait a few hours for someone to take one of the two pallets of mobile phones I had off the back and get re-weighed to exit. I think the unladen weight + me was around 2 tonne, so that left a poxy 600kg in a body volume you could only cube out with foam. Dreaded coming back from Oxford, as I'd create mayhem on the M40 up that hill to Stokenchurch. The only positive spin I can put on it was at least it was under 3 tonne gross for a class 4 MOT. Somehow I got the bastard thing through one too. Stealer prices for parts weren't too brutal. Rear shoes were £30, but the core deposit was an eye-watering £120!

 

As you can see, the experience is all too fresh in the memory and has scarred me for life.

 

In the end I flogged it to a mate who used it for a bit and broke it up when he managed to get a similarly coloured...208!

 

Here's me (left) with the borrowed 208:

Moving Regal Shell 003 by E Honda, on Flickr

 

(That was shite too. The LDV Convoys I put up with after that were lookshurry!)

[Guest steah]

hello. I stopped in Winchester services today to check my wheel nuts hadnt come undone again #hardshoulderwarrior

 

and got approached my a man whom i cannot remember his name. nor his credentials. but i have a very specific set of skills..... err okay nope. he said about this forum as my old slowver is about as stupid as i can be at the moment what with money constraints. he called it 'autoshite on a stick'a fair remark i might add

 

i dont really do the photo thing unless its my mini... so errr meet ethan (named by the mrs) my daily driven rover 216s

 

 

0 shits given

0 front suspension

2 bald tyres

4 breakdowns later

1 old heap of a slowver

 

did i introduce myself well?

[Supernaut]

Welcome - that's two A4 Quattros now! 

 

Were those grey capless Boleros on eBay recently? I bid on them a bit.

 

Nope, they were on the car since I got it in April 2014.

[stuboy]

Welcome to thunder dome ohh I ment autoshite

[mossymossy]

Hi everyone.

I joined a while back, but have been lurking. I thought it's time to contribute. I know a couple of shiters, one very well, but I have not seen him since January and another from north Devon, who has in the past been down to visit our shite drive to help with a shite project. I am at present keeping four shite cars on the road. One shite transit van modded to a camper. Plus helping my younger son keep a couple of daily driver sort of shite cars on the road.

The main reason I have decided to contribute is because, I was really jealous about shite fest. It sounds real fun, but I never felt I could go in the past. Sort of stepping on someone's toes, but he is old enough and big enough and not in the country to get over it.

So Hello everyone.

[brickwall]

Welcome along old bean.

[17-Coffees]

Hello. 

 

Just joined today after meaning to for a little while.Saw some of you's at Crail today (I was Supernaut's Passenger, or "14 stone ballest" for the 1/4 mile) so though it was finally time to join up. 

 

I've got 3 cars of choice, but the main two are my Lexus LS400 and a Suzuki Crappaccino Cappuccino. 

 

The LS400 being the main car for now, only thing done with it is a K&N filter and a cat-back stainless exhaust. Other than that it's in anonymous two tone grey and if it was't for the fact it was the size of Luxembourg it'd just slip by under without a second thought (Until a blip the throttle, letting the V8 sing).

 

Used it to do everything Lexus would have designed it for such as camping out in it for a few nights, rallying it on a few forrest gravel trails, drag racing, getting it a bit sideways, surprising & sometimes embarrassing hot hatch's, going for a spirited drive on the challenging roads we have in the NE of Scotland & West coast/Skye, and of course being a fantastic cross country luxo barge. 

 

The Cappuccino is one im not on good term's with at the moment.

If you know about them, you'll know about the rust problems. If not the best way to put it is that if it's raining in china then they will start to rust. 

The best car i've ever driven with a perfect balance of performance and handling and always puts a smile on your face in that respect though. 

[conkerman]

Hello.

 

Been lurking for a little bit and see some familiar names from other places on the internets.

 

I am currently looking to enrich my wife's life getting her a chod car to drive into stuff. I used to have a bit of a 80's-90'sPeugeot fetish, and was nearly drawn into the Roffle at the weekend.

 

 

 

[thedupleman]

Well hello all.

 

I'm dupe, I'm the owner of Hcoc - the Hyundai coupe owners club®

 

As well as being hugely involved in car shows and the like I run one of the last few Hyundai pony pickups on the road as well as a nowadays pretty rare Hyundai scoupe

 

 

 

[Inspector Morose]

Hello Dupe! are you a Hendon dupe or a Blackpool dupe? (obscure bus related question)