Sold Brown Avensis. *Eyes down*

[mercrocker]

Excellent thread so far....Would read to bored wife again.

[Richard]

Are you venturing to the correct side of the Forth?

[Jim Bell]

 

Its a lovely day but the air in here is as thick as mince. Squawking children are choking on it between complaints and demands for ice cream.

 

Im heading to the quiet carriage for respite.

[Jim Bell]

Update: I was already in the quiet carriage.

 

Flick squawking kids the V's in plain view of disinterested patents and wish Id brought headphones.

 

I usually do. I usually bring a lot of stuff. Jump pack, duct tape, sockets, wd40 etc, but not today. Today its a phone and a phone charger.

 

Today Im buying a Japanese car from an owner whos mechanical ability far exceeds mine. A(nother) bearing might be loud, it might use a bit of oil but Ive got full confidence that I wont need anything but sat nav.

 

And air con. Thank god the cars got air con. Im sweating like a racehorse with a limp.

 

Many thanks to Mr Cade for changing one of the bearings before collection. You dont get service like that on Gumtree.

 

Unless you buy from TheShaddow.

[Parky]

This chap, St Isidore of Seville might come in useful, what with being a sixth century saint responsible for technology and playing bass in a Mumford and Sons tribute band. May his wise counsel and infinite understanding of things invented 1400 years after his death see your WiFi maintained and your vehicle electrical smoke contained within its harnesses on your journey fair traveller

 

Here he is watching a Microsoft update taking place and praying it hurries up before his missus pops by. Otherwise t’is fair chance she will open the emails and discover he hath won himself a Land Rover Freelander from some bloke in Canvey Island. And lo the steed shalt hath urges to overheat and thine prop shaft hath been removed but it’s otherwise perfect. M8

[Jim Bell]

Doing it right^

I hope I bump into him today. He sounds class.

[Tetleysmooth]

I'm a tad confused, but:

 

http://autoshite.com/topic/32304-brown-car-at-the-ring-tra-la-la-la-la/

[Jim Bell]

I'm a tad confused, but:

 

http://autoshite.com/topic/32304-brown-car-at-the-ring-tra-la-la-la-la/

Thats where Im heading.

[Jim Bell]

And if we look out of the Port side of the vehicle, we can see the soul of another Laguna B assending to heaven after a simultaneous coil spring fracture, ecu failure and broken con rod on the A1 south of Haddington.

 

 

 

 

 

The driver sadly went to hell.

[Jim Bell]

Scotland mostly achieved.

 

Berwick. Upon the Tweed.

 

 

[Jim Bell]

 

 

P.C. up one to one.

[Jim Bell]

St Christoper:

I just popped past to see if you were getting on ok. I heard some grunting and crying.

 

Me: yeah thanks I feel a bit better.

 

 

 

Colin: Did you know that the 1.8 engine from the Toyota Avensis was used to power SOME Lotus Elises?

 

Me: I did not know that Colin.

 

Colin: its on Wikipedia so it must be true. Ok I hate you, bye.

 

St Christopher: sorry, he gets like this when he hasnt had his wrens.

[Jim Bell]

.

[Tetleysmooth]

                                                                     ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

Retirement home for former Avensis owners.

[egg]

Why has no one asked about poo count?

[Jim Bell]

Why has no one asked about poo count?

 

 

 

 

 

P.C. up one to two.

[Jim Bell]

We miss you Savvy.

 

[Jim Bell]

Smoll y tho train.

 

 

 

Waverly station never ceases to amaze me. Its big and lovely. Always busy and full of bewildered American bams.

[egg]

I'm pissing myself laughing at this fred, much to Mrs Egg's annoyance.

[Jim Bell]

Last train seems a bit right wing.

 

 

 

Bur theres a woman over there that seems nice.

 

 

Holy Mary:

Hello traveller, I bring you blessings and advice. Please note that the toilet facilities on this train are out of order.

 

Me: Jesus christ.

 

 

Holy Mary: Sorry, hes on his holidays.

 

Me:

 

[Jim Bell]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[DSdriver]

Whilst crossing the dangerous waters of the Atlantic* you may wish to have the assistance of Santa Caterina da Siena, she looks after those at sea and is highly rated by nuns but not kittens. Her speciality is Italian chod but reasonable rates are available for others

Nuns and Santa Caterina da Siena at Varazze, Liguria, Italy by Jean-Pierre Declemy, on Flickr

[Jim Bell]

St Genevieve's competition interlude.

 

 

 

 

Hi, Im St Genevieve, the patron saint of Paris and Disasters. I like attention but barely anyone knows I exist. Like Moatys Cat. If you can correctly answer my Sunday Bloody Sunday question correctly, you could win ONE POUND and a small but handy shock proof rubberised LED torch (brand new).

 

No cheating.

 

The first person to guess the correct train fare (Newcastle-Stirling) for todays traveller wins the prizes. Fare is a whole pound value.

 

Go!

[bramz7]

£58.

[cort16]

To calculated train fairs in advance you think of a sensible number then double it. So £44

[egg]

£48

[Jim Bell]

Lower than all.

[clayts450]

£27 and £10 back through Quidco

[Jim Bell]

Lower still.

[John F]

£7.12