Noticing a worrying development

[Simonsays]

I'm responsible for the care of three vehicles. A modern, an 'inbetweener' and a shiter.

 

I have all the documents/handbooks/owners packs/purchase details.

 

I have all the receipts for work done with records of dates and mileages. I know when the mot's are due and when they require servicing.

 

I have records of *every* drop of fuel they've had in my ownership. What brand it was and what mpg was achieved.

 

I own car cleaning products, interior and exterior. And I use them.

 

 

I have turned into a giffer.

 

 

 

 

Shit.

[Mally]

I'm a giffer, I own 2 of your 3 types of vehicles.

Other than that I do not conform to any of your other OCD symptoms.

[tooSavvy]

I am TheSavv

[Mally]

I am TheSavv

 

No explanation needed or possible.

[timolloyd]

But do you buy trinkets for all 3 cars? Additional reflectors, lights, gadgets and mirrors?

 

Only then can you ascend to true gifferdom.

[chodweaver]

I thought gifferdom conferred a diminishing spatial awareness and the accompanying minor panel and bumper damage? It sounds more like you are simply the ideal PO of a vehicle.

 

 

Selling any of 'em?

 

/innocent enquiry

[Simonsays]

But do you buy trinkets for all 3 cars? Additional reflectors, lights, gadgets and mirrors?

 

Only then can you ascend to true gifferdom.

I'm quite partial to those rubber strips that you fit to the edges of doors to prevent damage and they have orange reflectors built in...

[Simonsays]

I thought gifferdom conferred a diminishing spatial awareness and the accompanying minor panel and bumper damage? It sounds more like you are simply the ideal PO of a vehicle.

Selling any of 'em?

/innocent enquiry

Some of the bumpers show signs of a lapse in good judgement on attempting some manouvers.

 

The streetkak is the only vehicle that had an uncertain future. I'll be keeping it for the summer months and then moving it on if it passes its MOT cheaply or scrapping it if it looks expensive.

 

I have a hankering for a barge on my driveway.

[Zantimisfit]

I don't have all of these traits, but I have found myself watching 'A Place in the Country'

 

Different symptoms....same thing.

[scaryoldcortina]

I keep finding vehicles I'd forgotten I owned. Not sure if that's a memory/age problem or not.

[Uncle Jimmy]

String back driving gloves and a brolly or Panama hat on the parcel shelf required for gifferdom, sorry, try harder!

[Jim Bell]

I'm responsible for the care of three vehicles. A modern, an 'inbetweener' and a shiter.

 

I have all the documents/handbooks/owners packs/purchase details.

 

I have all the receipts for work done with records of dates and mileages. I know when the mot's are due and when they require servicing.

 

I have records of *every* drop of fuel they've had in my ownership. What brand it was and what mpg was achieved.

 

I own car cleaning products, interior and exterior. And I use them.

 

 

I have turned into a giffer.

 

 

 

 

Shit.

 

Im glad that people like you exist and I greatly enjoy purchasing vehicles from gentlemen such as yourself. Keep up the good work.

[chodweaver]

"I have a hankering for a barge on my driveway"

 

You, Sir, are not alone in this regard

[Junkman]

I'm responsible for the care of three vehicles. A modern, an 'inbetweener' and a shiter.

 

I have all the documents/handbooks/owners packs/purchase details.

 

I have all the receipts for work done with records of dates and mileages. I know when the mot's are due and when they require servicing.

 

I have records of *every* drop of fuel they've had in my ownership. What brand it was and what mpg was achieved.

 

I own car cleaning products, interior and exterior. And I use them.

 

 

I have turned into a giffer.

 

 

 

 

Shit.

 

 

Is this treatable on the NHS?

[vaughant]

A modern giffer mod seems to be reversing/parking sensors fitted by not drilling the bumpers and sticking them to the outside with the cables running through visibly to the boot???

 

Or as one giffer did to me the other day, actually stop his vehicle, take his seat belt off, remove his DIGITAL CAMERA from his inside pocket, wait half an hour for it to switch on then take a picture of me all because he effectively couldn't drive so I overtook him (on a two lane road) then stopped at the lights.

 

I thought I was having a heart attack from laughing so much which only seemed to inflame the situation?

[martc]

String back driving gloves and a brolly or Panama hat on the parcel shelf required for gifferdom, sorry, try harder!

 

And a box of tissues.

 

If these are in an embroidered cover it show's that 'er indoors/the little woman/ball and chain (other giffer 'terms of affection' are available) has joined you in the inevitable spiral to the grave. It also show that you have been trained for long enough not to complain.

[timolloyd]

Shonkily fitted reverse cameras are a giffer tell-tale sign too

[Simonsays]

String back driving gloves and a brolly or Panama hat on the parcel shelf required for gifferdom, sorry, try harder!

Brolly.

 

Yup

[Simonsays]

And a box of tissues.

 

If these are in an embroidered cover it show's that 'er indoors/the little woman/ball and chain (other giffer 'terms of affection' are available) has joined you in the inevitable spiral to the grave. It also show that you have been trained for long enough not to complain.

Box of tissues.

 

Yup

[castros_bro]

Your problem is having a concern about it,  dents -  scratches - non matching tyres - a few grow bags on the back seat - I just got the sack so am doing panic job interviews but this is what I rememberererer a shonky Ford parked next to my veggie renner which has a grow bag on the back seat.

 

 

 

[Datsuncog]

I keep finding vehicles I'd forgotten I owned. Not sure if that's a memory/age problem or not.

 

Isn't that what signatures on here are for?

[JeeExEll]

Fortunately there are many categories of giffer.

 

[Junkman]

I just got the sack

 

Ah fucksake.

[MorrisItalSLX]

Do any of your cars wear an AA badge or sticker? (Or both for double points)

 

Do you keep an umbrella in the door pocket "just in case"? (Or more than one for double points)

 

Is there ever a hat left on your parcel shelf extended period of time? (Flat cap for double points)

 

If you scored 3 or more points, then you are a giffer.

 

(I scored 4)

[stripped fred]

1. Don't forget to apply full revs but slip the clutch so you proceed forwards at 1.7mph while sounding like you are at Santa Pod, and severely limiting clutch life.

 

2. Please drive everywhere at the same speed, about 39mph should do it, whether it be a 30mph or 60mph limit.

 

3. Please brake for no apparent reason.

[scaryoldcortina]

Isn't that what signatures on here are for?

Nah, I keep sigs turned off.

[RayMK]

I'm old enough to qualify (68) but the only noticeable traces of gifferdom in my vehicles are the large scale mapbook in each.  No brollies, hats or gloves, although the two older cars have enough tools on board to rebuild the engine despite my AA membership (no badge!). I  generally match my driving speed to that of other road users except in 30 & 40mph speed limits where I become a major irritation to the stereotypical Mr Audi by not exceeding the limit.

[GrumpiusMaximus]

29.  Drive an estate.  Has scraped corners.  Has large-scale map.  English Heritage sticker.  AA membership.  Full glovebox.  Low mileage for its age.  Observe speed limits.

 

I'm a giffer.

 

It was my grandmother's car but apart from the 100 OS maps that used to live in every conceivable storage area, it's the same...

[RayMK]

29.  Drive an estate.  Has scraped corners.  Has large-scale map.  English Heritage sticker.  AA membership.  Full glovebox.  Low mileage for its age.  Observe speed limits.

 

I'm a giffer.

 

It was my grandmother's car but apart from the 100 OS maps that used to live in every conceivable storage area, it's the same...

 

I love Ordnance Survey Maps but suspect that navigating using them whilst on the move could be hazardous  . 

[GrumpiusMaximus]

I love Ordnance Survey Maps but suspect that navigating using them whilst on the move could be hazardous  . 

 

The irony?  My Grandad is blind.  They can't have used the maps whilst driving much...