What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[trigger]

[Ross_K]

If that was me, I'd get the tatoo re-worked to read JEDWARD, JEWZ or AIDZ.

[Ross_K]

Anyway, a joke...

 

A wife treats hubby by taking him to a Strip Club for his birthday...At The Club, The Doorman Says, "Hey Jim, How are You?"

The wife asks, "How does he know you?

Jim says, "Oh dear, I play football with him."

Inside the Bartender Says, "The Usual, Jim?"

Jim says to Wife, "Before you say anything, He's on the Darts Team."

... Next a stripper Says, "Hi Jim! Do you want the special again??"

The Wife storms out dragging Jim with her & jumps into a taxi...

The Taxi driver Says, "Hey Jimmy Boy! You picked up an ugly one this time...."

Jim's funeral is on Sunday!!!!

[Lankytim]

Me and my daughter hooning about with my 1/10 scale Tamiya Nissan Primera, hasn't been out of the loft in years but but having a 2 year old is a great excuse to get all the old toys back out. I also have a mk1 Hornet which is equally fun. but not as good at as scaring cats as the race tuned Primera.

[Guest]

Me and my daughter hooning about with my 1/10 scale Tamiya Nissan Primera, hasn't been out of the loft in years but but having a 2 year old is a great excuse to get all the old toys back out. I also have a mk1 Hornet which is equally fun. but not as good at as scaring cats as the race tuned Primera.

 

YO.

 

That'll be an FF01 then. The Primera shells are WEL RARE now. Also, Hornets are awesome.

 

I should bring my Clio over to yours and we should have a race-off.

[Guest]

I was going to write a post on how the headphones for my iTelephone had survived a full cycle in the washing machine and still work perfectly but then I realised that Wat would probably just call me a cunt.

 

You fucking presumptuous cunt.

[Lankytim]

Me and my daughter hooning about with my 1/10 scale Tamiya Nissan Primera, hasn't been out of the loft in years but but having a 2 year old is a great excuse to get all the old toys back out. I also have a mk1 Hornet which is equally fun. but not as good at as scaring cats as the race tuned Primera.

 

YO.

 

That'll be an FF01 then. The Primera shells are WEL RARE now. Also, Hornets are awesome.

 

I should bring my Clio over to yours and we should have a race-off.

 

Yeah, I haven't seen a primera anywhere else. I've been looking for another cheap FF01 so we can race them but they seem to have all disappeared. My all time dream RC car would be an early 80's Sand scorcher though!

 

I have a Baja Champ rolling shell which is surplus and may stick on ebay, never seemed to get on that well with it.

 

Next meet up we'l have to get these FF01's together and have a race!

[vulgalour]

I also have a mk1 Hornet which is equally fun.

 

I'm guessing that's not a radio controlled Wolseley Hornet, but if it is you just won at toy-shite.

[Vanny]

They're not perfect but they do a good enough job so what does it matter?

 

Have you bought a Mk2 Focus? Yes they do a good enough job, for someone who isn't interested in life!

[Lord Sterling]

Rover owners.

 

 

Thanks for that Tayne. Didnt realise until I saw it it featured a late model Rover Sterling. Couldnt quite get the plate to see exactly what it is and if its still around.

[Guest]

Can't sleep?

 

Tit around with your clockwork torch instead.

 

[Cavcraft]

They're not perfect but they do a good enough job so what does it matter?

 

Have you bought a Mk2 Focus? Yes they do a good enough job, for someone who isn't interested in life!

 

Can you exchange text message porno pictures with some Focci? I think not. Can you use a Ford Focus to send abusive messages to other people and order them taxis at 3.00am? I think not. Can you pull that Ford out of your pocket in the pub, talk really loudly into it and say 'I'M ON MY NEW FOCUS 4A, IT'S REALLY GOOD' several times over? No. No you can't.

But can you get an iNtelligentSmart9G10MBPIXELE-TUNES phone, shove it into the door pocket of shit French car and do all the above? Yes you can.

[ashmicro]

One of Trigger's spots has reminded me of a funny incident. Back in 1997 I had a breathed on Metro GTi (fettled by the previous owner, a Rover mechanic). One late night, I was coming home on the back road from Larne, going quite fast, and I'm thinking "This Capri behind me is doing well, I can't shake him". Upon reaching the straight, lit part of the road there was this God almighty roar, and the "Capri" came past.

 

It was a McLaren F1.

[pompei]

Hope it wasn't Rowan Atkinson driving ...

[autofive]

i have a push bike that can go faster than a GiT metro

[Cavcraft]

*NOT SAFE FOR WORK*

 

http://www.fiftyshadesgenerator.com/

[Louise2cv]

Mom gave me 2 £20 notes. Hurrah!

Megan likes to empty my wallet all over the house. Boo!

Manage to prize cash out of Megan's hands.Hurrah!

Check pockets next day, Money has gone. Boo!

Turn house upside-down. Boo!

Empty wheelie bin, no notes. Boo!

Realise I have been out of house in these trousers, so cash could be anywhere.Boo!

 

Why then the grin thread? Clutching at straws and expecting nothing I called in at Tesco this morning to ask if anyone had handed £40 in (yeah right).

 

Except...

 

They had. £40 cash. Noted in the lost property book behind the Customer Services counter and kept in the safe.

 

Can't believe my luck. There are some very decent people out there.

[M'coli]

^^^ That's splendid, well done that honest person.

[chaseracer]

Mom gave me 2 £20 notes. Hurrah!

Megan likes to empty my wallet all over the house. Boo!

Manage to prize cash out of Megan's hands.Hurrah!

Check pockets next day, Money has gone. Boo!

Turn house upside-down. Boo!

Empty wheelie bin, no notes. Boo!

Realise I have been out of house in these trousers, so cash could be anywhere.Boo!

Sorted.

 

 

[HillmanImp]

Two interesting facts about me.

 

1) My knob is the same length as 2 Argos pens.

 

2) I'm banned from Argos.

[autofive]

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1970-RELIANT- ... 4abb8929aa

 

my old scimitar for sale again, was supposed to be exported to oz. seller using 2 year old photos taken by me

[nigel bickle]

Autofive -was it a good un -then?

 

I'm kinda in the market for an early 5......

[willswitchengage]

I IS BACK FROM LOLIDAY 2012 INNIT!

 

A week in the English Lakes wiv ma posse, here's a couple of gratuitous pictures, never really got into taking photos of cars so here's my best:

 

P1030951 by willswitchengage, on Flickr

 

Just before setting off, three in the back and the safely assembled roof package has three bicycles in it (sadly couldn't fit on a fourth without looking too ridiculous)

 

P1030983 by willswitchengage, on Flickr

 

Up Newlands Haus (sp?)

 

The trusty justy returned a healthy 40mpg through some quite "dynamic" driving although being woefully underpowered I'm sure helped there (sorry to anybody travelling westbound on the A59 last Sunday), a few knocks and bangs here and there but nothing you wouldn't expect from a 22 year old 140k motor. 4WD did come in briefly handy whilst navigating into improvised car parking spaces thanks to the complete speshes that somehow manage to take up three with one Nissan Micra. A great time was had by all, although the journey home was plagued by wankers on their phones swerving all over the A66, a lorry ahead of us shortening our lifespans considerably with its blue smoke, and tedious road works on the home stretch.

 

In other motoring news... staying at my parents tonight, pulled in to the drive and noticed a shiny 62 plate Corsa in front of me. Safe to say my Mother's new investment is so far a catastrophy. Woefully poorly made (bits already coming off around the windscreen), less interior space than the Subaru, an awful gearchange, concrete seats... I could go on. An awful, awful car, especially irritating as I tried to push her in the direction of a Jazz or Yaris to little avail. Oh well, it does have bonus points though for an uncluttered and back2basics engine bay - no wanky piece of plastic covering everything up unnecessarily.

[Pete-M]

In other motoring news... staying at my parents tonight, pulled in to the drive and noticed a shiny 62 plate Corsa in front of me. Safe to say my Mother's new investment is so far a catastrophy. Woefully poorly made (bits already coming off around the windscreen), less interior space than the Subaru, an awful gearchange, concrete seats... I could go on. An awful, awful car, especially irritating as I tried to push her in the direction of a Jazz or Yaris to little avail. Oh well, it does have bonus points though for an uncluttered and back2basics engine bay - no wanky piece of plastic covering everything up unnecessarily.

 

Disown her immediately.

[Station]

My poor MR2 failed it's MOT today, on surprise surprise -ball joints- and a speck of welding. I couldn't get the ball joints from the only motor factors open at 3pm on a Saturday afternoon and I need a car to get me to work on a Monday morning, so literally 30 minutes between looking on gumtree and 'holding aht me 'aaand' I bought this Mercedes E220 auto estate with tow bar and rear dog shield with everything working.

 

 

 

GR0.02 value for what will be a couple of weeks ownership. The 2.2 is 150bhp although the car is 1 1/2 tonnes. I have never owned a Merc before but I've always liked these. Unfortunately it has a gash plastic silver KENWOOD stereo that stays lit up with the key in (which will be getting replaced with my ol' Blaupunkt tape machine). Auto will be GR0.03 on M6 is three hours of stop start traffic at 6.40pm Friday evening.

[skattrd]

Looks like a tidy Merc there.

Auto for commutes and traffic jams is ace, its the main reason I'm still using the Volvo ... I am now offically lazy and a big fan of autos.

 

My grin, I've been out in the Alfa and once again it didn't break down. I think I may risk it and use it for work on Monday.

[Spiny Norman]

Fine looking old Benz you got there.

[M'coli]

Shame I couldn't get the camera out, but this morning in Leeds I saw a bright orange Allegro estate on (possibly)15" alloys! RFA454R, you looked well fit - but you've changed a wee bit since this photo:

That was taken in 2005 apparently, but now it's f-off bright orange, so it's been re-painted or ringed.

[Lord Sterling]

...Unfortunately it has a gash plastic silver KENWOOD stereo that stays lit up with the key in (which will be getting replaced with my ol' Blaupunkt tape machine)...

 

Autoshite - The only car forum on the web where you'll find people chucking CD-players away for tape decks

[Cavcraft]

'LAST OF THE PROPPER MERCS.'