Datsuncog's Heaps: Sept 2023 - Another Year's T-Met Exemption Certificate...

[beko1987]

That's not tragic, don't worry! The first thing I did after buying my Laguna from ruffgeezer was go to McDonald's and get a coffee to use my first proper dashboard cup holder! 90 miles later it was cool enough to drink...

[320touring]

Sounds like Mrs Datsuncog is a keeper.

 

Top pedalling:)

[artdjones]

Sounds a lovely car.Mowers are bigger than you think.I got given a 6×4 shed and my Honda self propelled wouldn't fit in without folding it up.

[Guest Hooli]

Chuckling at Mrs DC's comments here, she's a keeper lad.

[Datsuncog]

So then, folks... one week in with Subaru pilotage, and nothing major to report so far...

Friday night's scrutiny confirmed that the rear springs are pretty baggy, but there's no real issues arising yet... however the sit-up-and-beg stance just looks wrong, wrong, wrong. I can't believe I didn't notice something so feckin' obvious on viewing: I was so busy getting up close around the sills and arches that I never stood back to see how it was sitting overall. What a tube. I did have a look online to see what sort of money we're talking for replacement...

Cue coughsplutter of "HFM??", followed by "actually, that's not too bad..."

I'd imagine the garage will want rather more than that again to fit them, but I've heard way too many horror stories of spring compressor malfunctions to trust my own clumsy paws... hell, a scant two weeks ago I proved I can't even be trusted to operate a trolley jack without knocking lumps out of the car and maiming myself.

So yeah... that's maybe next month's project. Assuming, of course, that this model isn't one of the self-levelling money-pits. I've yet to conclude my investigations.

The weekend brought something of a cleaning frenzy*, in relative terms - I vacuumed the manky old chips and chewing gum wrappers out of the Forester, scrubbed and fitted the (quite worn) Cannon rubber mats filched from TAZ, and gave the interior a bit of a flick with a duster to get the worst off. I also used a black permanent marker to colour in the cracked pleather on the driver's seat bolster.

I am not Meguiar's target market, suffice to say.

But it does look fairly neat and tidy inside now. Although, since some of my recent cars have resembled lethal experiments in biohazard weaponry, perhaps my bar is a tad low.

I also passed a pleasant Tetris-esque hour trying to fit various bits of my toolkit into the assorted trapdoors and cubbies located in the boot, with moderate success. I'm sure I'll definitely* remember where I've stashed each of the assorted components for the jack, the wheelbrace and the locking wheel nut socket in seven months' time when I get a flat tyre at midnight on a rural road, in the pissing rain. It'll be a memory challenge. It'll be fun.

Cat was no help, as per usual, but was delighted to take up space and then glare at me for firing up the vacuum.

I also slotted in the dashcam, and tracked the cable down the A-pillar trim for the sake of neatness. I'd planned to run it off the fusebox using a piggyback connector, but upon popping out what's supposed to be the fusebox down by the base of the dash, I was instead confronted by a little box of numeric buttons complete with * and # keys, closely resembling the immobiliser keypad on my old XM... hmm. More investigation required, methinks. (Meant to take a pic, but forgot). So the dashcam's 12v plug is sloppily trailing across the console to the fag lighter socket, for the meantime.

As the paperwork indicates that this was originally a Subaru dealer demo car registered to a firm called Adams Brothers, there may be other non-standard secrets yet to uncover...

I'm mildly concerned about the key; although a sales docket from 2016 indicates that the car came complete with two keys when sold, one of them appears to have been sacrificed to pacify Manannán mac Lir during the perilous sea-crossing to Ireland, while the sole survivor subsequently appears to have done double duty as a dog chew toy.

Yeah, that's not especially good. Having only one ropey-looking key available is rarely a clever thing - especially if you excel at losing/dropping things, as I do.

My first thought was to simply buy a new shell and get a new key profile cut as a present for the current transponder gubbins, rather like an electronic hermit crab, but weirdly both the owner's manual and Ebay seem to agree that my key should have two buttons. Hmmm.

Again, further investigation required. I really would like to get a second key and transponder made up, even though it probably won't be cheap - Mrs DC and I sometimes have occasion to collect each other's cars, and a key each is kinda essential.

On a related note, the immobiliser on this car is doing my tits in.

Subaru appear to think that 30 seconds is more than enough time between unlocking the car and starting it; I dunno, maybe it is for most people. All I know is, by the time I've slung my man-bag into the back seat, eased my ample rump onto the cracked pleatherette seats, closed the door, fumbled for my seatbelt, and made sure the damn thing's in neutral, then by the time the key's turned in the ignition a faint click has just occurred as the immobiliser resets, and then bugger-all happens in terms of starting.

Then follows a charming traditional folk-dance involving key in, key out, press the keyfob to lock the doors, press unlock, set the alarm off, swear, lock again, unlock again, more alarm, more swearing, open door, close door, lock, unlock, and finally start.

The silver Laguna had a one-minute immobiliser lock-out, but this was activated only when the ignition key was removed and the driver's door opened. Not, say, simply when the engine was switched off while at pole position on a notoriously slow level-crossing, as happened on Friday, resulting in a special double-speed folk-dance with plenty of extra swearing at barrier-up time, while irate traffic tooted a merry accompaniment behind me. Gaaah.

It's a bit exhausting, truth be told. There has to be an easier way.

 

As a little extra head-scratcher, I took myself over to Halfrauds on Sunday morning, as I'd gone to replace a dead number plate bulb on Saturday evening only to find I was all out of 501 push-fit bulbs. Loads of every other conceivable bulb in the shed, but none of those.

Bulbs obtained (plus the only manual dial tyre pressure gauge available in the store, which on closer inspection looks disappointingly like something one might find inside a Lidl Christmas cracker), I went outside to fit one of them - only to find the tailgate wouldn't release. Much keyfob action and flashery then occurred, but the tailgate remained intractably locked, no matter how much I tugged and muttered dire threats. Of course, there's no manual lock on the outside of the bootlid  - though there is, apparently, some emergency method of unlocking it from inside.

In the end I opted not to galumph around in the boot and simply gave up (though not before trying it again at Tesco, and once again when I arrived home, with the same conspicuous lack of success as before), only for Mrs DC to try it and - surprise surprise - up went the tailgate, stately as a galleon. Don't know what the issue is. I'm hoping it was a one-off user error, and not a shonky locking module.

Mind you, this wouldn't be the first time a car has misbehaved massively when I'm the one holding the keys, only to meekly comply when my beloved takes the reins. Weird.

 

But it's not all doom and gloom.

Despite Mrs DC's concern that she'd gently bullied me into taking on a car that isn't really very 'me', I do quite like L'il Thunder already - in ways unexpected.

I like the exhaust note. I like the way it feels very substantial, while not really being that big at all. I like the precise handling and responsiveness; I like the way it feels totally unruffled while being thrown into rural bends at 60mph. As my previous 4x4 experience mostly involved a hired Suzuki Jimny (tiny, full of sand, and also bolloxed - being stuck in low ratio was not fun) and a shite-tastic but very tired early-80s Holden Jackaroo (rebadged Mk1 Isuzu Trooper), the way this thing stays glued to the tarmac is a bit of a revelation.

 

Most strangely, I've taken to turning the radio off when driving, just so I can hear the flat-4 engine thrumming away. Maybe upgrading the ICE is less of a priority than I'd thought. Although I've deliberately not been using it for messages around town, I have found myself trying to find excuses to take it out for a bit of a spin. Now, maybe it's still the novelty working on me here - but, for some reason, I can't ever recall feeling this way about any of the Lagunas.

On Sunday evening, after a day of painting the hall and lugging pots around the garden, we went up the road to Gleno, a charming village a few miles distant with a series of rather spectacular and photogenic waterfalls tumbling through it.

Of course, waterfalls require height...

And Gleno (which, oddly, was known as Glenoe until only a few years ago but has lately shed 33% of its vowels, possibly in response to council cuts) contains a notoriously steep and twisty hill which has defeated several of my heaps, and has reduced all others to shaking, shuddering jellies crawling up it in first gear - even the 2.5TD XM estate. It's short but very punishing.

Yet it was no match for the Subaru. Effortless. Up we went in 2nd; the car didn't even break a sweat. I was beyond impressed.

[Dashcam footage was overwritten before I could retrieve it, but yeah - it's a very steep hill, trust me.]

On the way back, we used the narrow country roads to full effect - and by cracky, it is rather enjoyable to thrash along at a decent lick. It's quick, but also surprisingly refined - I think I'd expected more of a rorty, snorty kind of a thing, given the drivetrain's pedigree from the Impreza WRX, but this is rock-solid and just gets on with the job in hand with no fuss and pin-sharp brakes and steering.

Even so, you're not isolated from the road in the way many moderns seem to do - it's not a case of just playing point-and-shoot. Good feedback is delivered via the steering wheel and pedals; but you don't need to impose your will on it every inch of the way like yer actual fire-breathing rally car might demand, lest it buck you through a hedge. No. This one appears to enhance your drive. It's got all of the go-kart buzz of my old Mk2F Polo, but with a genuinely good engine and steering. The Polo felt fast but frenetic even at comparatively low speeds; whereas this is an interesting mix of poised but potent. There seems little chance of me hammering off a bend at 90 because I thought I was doing way less - I feel like I know where the car is at all times, and what it's doing. It's utterly different than any other car I've driven.

But yeah. It's not very 'me' perhaps - but I do like it.

And there's perhaps some more good news to come, from an Autoshite perspective... but I'll maybe put that in a separate post later on.

 

This post was not brought to you by the Northern Ireland Tourist Board, but if they'd like to send me some cold hard cash in exchange for promoting small villages on this well-regarded international forum, I wouldn't say no.

[320touring]

Go to carparts4less (it's Euro car parts with an orange website)

 

Rear springs are discounted plus a 12% discount code

 

 

£113 ftw

[Datsuncog]

^^^ Oh here... that's not a bad price at all. I generally forget about CP4L, as they charge international shipping for NI, but that's still a hefty saving... cheers for that!

[binhoker668]

Great stuff chief - also, crazy to see pics of Gleno on here of all places!  D'ye remember when Knockagh was a huge graveyard of burnt out 70s motors?

[mrbenn]

10/10 value post, would read again. Glad to see the car is (mostly) behaving for you!

 

^^^ Oh here... that's not a bad price at all. I generally forget about CP4L, as they charge international shipping for NI, but that's still a hefty saving... cheers for that!

 

If you want those springs sent to me, then I'll forward them on to you if that would be any cheaper, shout up. Would probably be by Royal Mail though, as thats the only place I can get to during the day.

[The Moog]

I think the 30 second immobiliser is a thatcham requirement - I vaguely recall my old c900 had one retro fitted as an Met police intiative to stop cars being nicked.

 

When spoke to the fitter it had to rearm within 30 seconds to meet thatcham 2 compliant.

 

 

Maybe utterly wrong as many days have passed since then

[loserone]

turn the ignition on, then press the key, then start.

[SiC]

That keypad is to change the settings in the car! My colleagues 2009 example has one. He pushed some buttons to disable the horn beeping when locking.

 

Maybe there is a way of changing how long before the immobiliser kicks in on it?

[SiC]

Manual for the alarm and keypad appears to be here:

http://www.scoobypedia.co.uk/uploads/Knowledge/sigma_m30_manual.pdf

[Split_Pin]

I don't normally have the patience to read things properly these days, whether it be instructions or articles, but your posts always draw me in and I enjoy reading them from start to finish.

 

Hopefully you will be equally drawn to the Forester with its wuffly exhaust note. It always takes me ages to bond with a car especially if its predecessor had a very different character.

[Zelandeth]

I remember Fronteras used to have an alarm that would sound if you didn't start the engine within 30 seconds. Didn't matter how many times we told customers about it, you could get that you'd hear the alarm going off about a minute after handing them the keys.

 

Bit like I've changed my routine getting into the car since I got the Activa so my getting organised takes up some of the minute or so it takes to wake up the hydraulics first start of the day.

[beko1987]

I remember Fronteras used to have an alarm that would sound if you didn't start the engine within 30 seconds. Didn't matter how many times we told customers about it, you could get that you'd hear the alarm going off about a minute after handing them the keys.

 

Bit like I've changed my routine getting into the car since I got the Activa so my getting organised takes up some of the minute or so it takes to wake up the hydraulics first start of the day.

I still do this after my xantia (which wasn't a sinker but did a bit). Get in, engine on then faff about whilst it rose. Still do it now!

[Zelandeth]

My old TD wasn't so bad, probably 30 seconds or so, and you could actually drive off in that once the stop light was out as it only settled by an inch or so. Sadly one of the prices you pay with the Activa is having to wait a fair bit longer (especially first time in the day) for it to get organised.

 

If you get impatient you can wind up driving off just as the front picks up, and the back end drops to the bump stops as the system tries to level itself with only one accumulator pressurised. That's an "interesting" moment, especially as our street is paved with lock-block...you can indeed feel every joint through the car in that situation!

[Datsuncog]

On 5/8/2018 at 7:24 PM, binhoker668 said:

Great stuff chief - also, crazy to see pics of Gleno on here of all places!  D'ye remember when Knockagh was a huge graveyard of burnt out 70s motors?

Cheers man! Yeah, it's a nice wee part of the world alright - although a fairly popular spot with the campfire 'n' Buckie brigade too, so gotta time it right...

I was never up the Knockagh until I was old enough to drive, so sadly I don't remember the cars lying around up there - would love to hear your recollections, though! There's a nearby farm that has a few wrecks visible from the road, mind you, including an XJ40 and a Nissan D21 pickup slowly returning to ferrous oxide.

I do remember the Leadmines in Ards, which sounds very similar - torched Metros, Astras and Cortinas lying round the undergrowth in a state of total dereliction, and a partly submerged Fiat 127 dumped in a boggy bit... amazingly, they're all still there after being bulldozed into a pit and then buried under topsoil, which is now eroding and allowing the rusty bones to poke through...

^^ Reckon that one looks a bit Mini.

Mind you, if you've got time and it won't destroy my reputation* as a hard-nosed realist, I do have a bit of a funny story about a burnt-out car along the Knockagh, that happened to me a long time ago...

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/oct/31/ghost-cat-and-a-faceless-man-nine-ghost-stories-for-halloween#comment-86674212

That's funny as in 'funny peculiar', not 'funny ha-ha'.

[binhoker668]

 

Mind you, if you've got time and it won't destroy my reputation* as a hard-nosed realist, I do have a bit of a funny story about a burnt-out car along the Knockagh, that happened to me a long time ago...

 

 

 

That's funny as in 'funny peculiar', not 'funny ha-ha'.

 

That's mad!  A very well told tale as well.  Tell me this, d'ye read much?  REALLY enjoyed Adrian McKinty's 'Sean Duffy' books recently.  All set in and around Belfast/Carrick/Whitehead/Larne etc during and after the troubles.  One of them has the whole novel based around the DeLorean (see?  car-related reply!) shambles etc.  Worth a go like.

Anyways, bit of a thread hijack, for which I apologise. 

 

[Datsuncog]

On 5/8/2018 at 7:05 PM, 320touring said:

Go to carparts4less (it's Euro car parts with an orange website)

Rear springs are discounted plus a 12% discount code

£113 ftw

Okay, that's rather excellent, pricewise - now ordered up! Cheers again for looking this up, that's a hefty old saving on the EuroCarPrats price.

Very weirdly, despite stating in their t&cs that Northern Ireland addresses do not qualify for free delivery and will attract a shipping surcharge, no surcharge was applied at the checkout (and I had to specifically select delivery to NI as part of the checkout process). The whole shipping section seems a smidge confusing; I was only given free delivery within 4 days as an option, I couldn't pay more for it to arrive sooner (though this doesn't really bother me - it'll be next month before the budget allows for fitment anyway) and [gripe] it seems a lot of online sellers on the mainland don't quite understand that GB and UK are not interchangeable terms - even though Royal Mail delivers to all parts of the UK for a flat fee. It really boils my piss when I'm forced into to paying an 'overseas surcharge', only for the item to subsequently arrive with a bog-standard 2nd class stamp on it [/gripe].

So yeah... payment made, confirmation email received... I've a sinking feeling that I may end up in online shopping hell with this one, but it's not a time-critical repair (yet) so we'll see.

 

On 5/8/2018 at 8:55 PM, mrbenn said:

10/10 value post, would read again. Glad to see the car is (mostly) behaving for you!

If you want those springs sent to me, then I'll forward them on to you if that would be any cheaper, shout up. Would probably be by Royal Mail though, as thats the only place I can get to during the day.

Thank you so much for the offer to accept mainland delivery and then punt them on to your poor overseas brother-in-shite - I'd only gone as far as the CP4L checkout just to see how the shipping surcharge would stack up against Royal Mail prices, but to my amazement it all went through. How about that!

[320touring]

Hope it works out for you:)

[Supernaut]

turn the ignition on, then press the key, then start.

 

Yup, what he said. My parents' '05 Legacy Outback is the same.

 

Also try GSF car parts for springs, I'll post up a discount code later. They send out 55-60% discount codes every other day when you subscribe to them.

[Datsuncog]

On 5/8/2018 at 9:32 PM, The Moog said:

I think the 30 second immobiliser is a thatcham requirement - I vaguely recall my old c900 had one retro fitted as an Met police intiative to stop cars being nicked.

When spoke to the fitter it had to rearm within 30 seconds to meet thatcham 2 compliant.

Maybe utterly wrong as many days have passed since then

Sounds quite plausible - I haven't much else to benchmark against. My 2004 Alfa 156 didn't seem to bother with that sort of thing, but then I think Alfas have to be seen as special cases, in general. I'm not even sure that Mrs DC's Mk1 Yaris has an immobiliser - or possibly even an alarm. It's never been activated in 13 years, anyway. I've set the Forester off at least a dozen times this week alone.

 

On 5/8/2018 at 10:47 PM, Zelandeth said:

I remember Fronteras used to have an alarm that would sound if you didn't start the engine within 30 seconds. Didn't matter how many times we told customers about it, you could get that you'd hear the alarm going off about a minute after handing them the keys.

Bit like I've changed my routine getting into the car since I got the Activa so my getting organised takes up some of the minute or so it takes to wake up the hydraulics first start of the day.

That sounds amazingly annoying, from the perspective of the Frontera owner (and anyone living in a half-mile radius of them)... yep, it sounds like I am going to have to alter my normal routine a little to accommodate this.

Though I'm still slightly unconvinced about the theft-foiling benefits of this 30-second system... so, on returning to the car with a trolley of shopping, rather than open the car and keep the keys in my pocket while I load the boot, Thatcham reckoned it'd be better for me to open the car, start it, then leave it idling with the keys in the ignition while I'm round the back lifting the bags in? All of which make it much easier for Steeky McSteekface and chums to hop in and roar off, leaving me standing there in Sainsburys' carpark like a plum, clutching a giant pack of Charmin and watching all the groceries fall out the back as it recedes into the distance... hmmm.

 

On 5/8/2018 at 9:39 PM, loserone said:

turn the ignition on, then press the key, then start.

Ah, now that's what the vendor told me to do - and yes, sometimes pressing the button on the key works (locks doors, then unlocks), but other times it does nothing (like, nothing happens at all when I jab the button).

That's when I take the key out of the ignition, wave it around (unnecessary, I know - it's a hangover from the Lagunae, where the key plipper worked on infra-red rather than RFID and needed a clear sightline between key and sensor to deactivate the immobiliser), press button to lock the doors, then again to unlock them, then back in the ignition - and then, sometimes it'll start, and sometimes it'll just set the alarm off. And then we're back to the start.

I probably need to practice this in the comfort of my own driveway, not in heavy traffic. The silver Laguna's immobiliser system bugged me mightily at first, but I got my head around it eventually and it became second nature. I've accommodated many a quirk and foible in my cars over the years - I'm sure this one is no different.

 

On 5/8/2018 at 9:42 PM, SiC said:

That keypad is to change the settings in the car! My colleagues 2009 example has one. He pushed some buttons to disable the horn beeping when locking.

Maybe there is a way of changing how long before the immobiliser kicks in on it?

 

On 5/8/2018 at 9:48 PM, SiC said:

Manual for the alarm and keypad appears to be here:

http://www.scoobypedia.co.uk/uploads/Knowledge/sigma_m30_manual.pdf

Ah now that's mega-handy to know - since there's no beep on locking (just a rattle of multiple deadlocks, which sounds disquietingly like a firing-squad loading) I'll assume someone has already kindly turned that off. I'll study this closely, thanks!

[Datsuncog]

On 5/9/2018 at 12:06 PM, binhoker668 said:

Tell me this, d'ye read much?  REALLY enjoyed Adrian McKinty's 'Sean Duffy' books recently.  All set in and around Belfast/Carrick/Whitehead/Larne etc during and after the troubles.  One of them has the whole novel based around the DeLorean (see?  car-related reply!) shambles etc.  Worth a go like.

Anyways, bit of a thread hijack, for which I apologise. 

Yes! Really enjoy his novels (though I'm not generally drawn towards crime writing as a rule of thumb); started off with 'The Cold Cold Ground' a few years ago and have been working through them rightly. Haven't read the DeLorean one yet, but it's on the list. Also enjoy Colin Bateman's output, as well as Glenn Patterson's novels (he was my creative writing tutor at Queens a long time ago; his latest novel, 'Gull', was also about the DeLorean story).

Still have a special place in my heart for Robert McLiam Wilson's 'Eureka Street', though. Brilliant Belfast novel, and I still go back to that one now and again. Mucho bonus points for the Holylands setting and positing The Lavery's Time Paradox.

[Datsuncog]

And the good news (mentioned upthread) is... Mrs DC reckons the place doesn't look right without an old shitter on the drive, and suggested (apropos of absolutely nothing, while we were out enjoying a romantic twilight dander around Gleno on Sunday) that we maybe ought to buy another old heap to mess about with.

Or, rather, SHE wants to buy a heap of her own to mess about with.

See, she's had a hankering for a Forester since they were launched back in the day, and now obtaining one (even though it's a Mk2) has made her misty-eyed for the other car she dearly wished for as a child...

A Toyota Corolla E110.

I shit you not.

[mrbenn]

And the good news (mentioned upthread) is... Mrs DC reckons the place doesn't look right without an old shitter on the drive, and suggested (apropos of absolutely nothing, while we were out enjoying a romantic twilight dander around Gleno on Sunday) that we maybe ought to buy another old heap to mess about with.

 

Or, rather, SHE wants to buy a heap of her own to mess about with.

 

See, she's had a hankering for a Forester since they were launched back in the day, and now obtaining one (even though it's a Mk2) has made her misty-eyed for the other car she dearly wished for as a child...

 

A Toyota Corolla E110.

 

I shit you not.

 

Does she have a sister? Please forward contact details immediately.

[SierraMikeHotel]

You sod. I'm going to remember that every time I drive over the Beacon now...

[Datsuncog]

On 5/9/2018 at 1:56 PM, mrbenn said:

Does she have a sister? Please forward contact details immediately.

She doesn't, I'm afraid - though she does have a brother. But his interest in Autoshite extends about as far as buying ropey E46 BMWs and then leaving them on his mum's drive when they inevitably expire, for muggins here to dispose of by application of the Greater Fool theory... silly boy.

[Datsuncog]

On 5/9/2018 at 2:20 PM, SierraMikeHotel said:

You sod. I'm going to remember that every time I drive over the Beacon now...

Just don't stop, or wind the window down!

EDIT: Don't take the Vision either (although I wouldn't think that gradient's very scooter-friendly?)

Seriously though, for a few years I felt like a bloody magnet for weird stuff. Seems to have worn off now, mind. Long may it continue.

[Tadhg Tiogar]

....Mrs DC reckons the place doesn't look right without an old shitter .....

 

I find a horse meets the description admirably.