Roffle NOW WITH ADDED ROFFLING!!! An Englishman's home may be he castle, but his driveway can't be used as a (alleged) forecourt.

[For Fiats Sake]

 

I made the mistake of driving the Uno over to a mates to deliver a couple seats which were cluttering up the garage.  It's quite the little motorway cruiser, quieter than a panda despite being a 4 speed box.  It's a carbed 999cc model (no cat here) and has really impressed me by the way it pulls.  Better on fuel too, at least 50mpg even on the motorway.  Just goes to show how much power is lost with the cats.  Anyway it will make someone a nice little runabout.  MOT until march, 14k miles and clean as a whistle underneath, a few spots of rust on the body work but nothing that can't be held in check with a bit of kurust.  

 

 

Worst bit is the door, the old bend the door trick has been done to it so it's got some filler near the glass, some rust on the lower door skin.  

 

 

Brakes are bob on after the local garage replaced most of the system (bought it with a sticky caliper which was replaced) in an attempt to get them properly balanced.  Stops like a modern, the dogs not keen as she's been thrown off the back seat during testing....

 

There's pictures of it somewhere on here when I first got it, surely you all know what an Uno looks like?

 

 

[eddyramrod]

Dare I mention the R word?

[The Moog]

Dare I mention the R word?

You have an addiction young man ...  

 

how much are the tickets 

[Jim Bell]

How much is the Uno?

[CortinaDave]

I got up to 8 cars at one point and only had drive space for 2.

 

So i had 2 in the drive and 3 on tbe street outside, with another 2 sat outside my then girlfriend's house and one at my mothers.

 

I loved all the cars i had but it became a shitemare with complaining neighbours and endless tax/mot/insurance renewals and reminders coming through my door on what felt like a daily basis.

 

I eventually caved in and sold some on. These days i only really have 2 or at a push 3 at any one time, my Compulsive Heap Purchasing Disorder was taking over my life!

[They_all_do_that_sir]

How much is the Uno?

I think £500 was mentioned earlier in the thread. Looks a lovely wee thing too

 

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[Tamworthbay]

Is the 4x4 for sale?

[For Fiats Sake]

Yeah, £500ish for the Uno (must have spent a good chunk of that on the brakes), 4x4 is not for sale though.

 

I did some reorganising in the garage and the mk1 is just a dust collector getting in the way so that might go next year, car and classic job though I think that one, it's an ultra rare edition, very original in AS colours.

 

[Tamworthbay]

Don't blame you keeping the 4x4, glwts on the others.

[t5dean]

i do feel your pain i had a small problem of 9 granadas /scorpio on a 3 car drive

[sierraman]

Paint your house orange.

[rantingYoof]

Funny fact* - permitted development rights for yer bog standard house that's not in a conservation area or listed or article 4 'ed would technically allow you to paint the exterior walls any trip-inducing colour you fancy, ALTHOUGH again this has been begrudgingly tackled by councils via the 'untidy land' process.

 

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[Parky]

Paint his house orange. Then grass him up to the council

[Dick Cheeseburger]

Compromise by selling some of your cars, but then covering the entire frontage of your house (windows and all) with a massive vinyl print of a junkyard scene. That should do the trick.

[5speedracer]

Paint your house orange.

My parents bought a bright orange house in 1971. Been owned by 2 old biddie sisters who had it painted orange. Handy for directions though.....

 

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[Parky]

Actually if you did go for the orange house approach you could claim you have Dutch heritage and anyone complaining is a big fat Dutch hating racist bastard.

[richardthestag]

that might just work, a taxi driver near here was sacked and now has a criminal record because he referred to a fare dodging customer as a "state your nation" cunt. Had he avoided stating the thieving bastards nationality he would have a job and no record. 

[Noel Tidybeard]

install a pay-and-display machine and have valid tickets in the windows

[Dick Cheeseburger]

Apply to become a UNESCO World heritage site. You only have to meet one of the criteria, and I reckon you can hit quite a few of them with some persuasive argument. I bet it takes them ages to reply and tell you to piss off.http://whc.unesco.org/en/criteria/

- to represent a masterpiece of human creative genius

- to be an outstanding example of a type of building, architectural or technological ensemble

- to be an outstanding example of a traditional human settlement, land-use, or sea-use which is representative of a culture (or cultures), or human interaction with the environment especially when it has become vulnerable under the impact of irreversible change

ETA: Or claim its part of the WWFs save the panda appeal

Using this theory, but going off on a tangent, can't you place some fake bats in your cars? They'd have to stay as you wouldn't be allowed to mess with a bat's home. For added effect, you could attach thread to them, hide yourself under a backseat blanket and have a tug whenever the anyone in question is looking.

 

Another inspired idea - have some 'fuck you' vinyl letters printed and stick them to your car roofs. That'll teach the Meldrew when they look out of their upstairs window at your fleet.

 

On a serious note, I do hope you're making some headway with the whole thing and not feeling too defeated by it. The good will out, and all that.

[For Fiats Sake]

 

Well it's not the council making me do this but a severe shortage of cash,  The Uno is now £400 for a cash buyer or £8 a ticket (2-4-£15), but it must go within days. Taxed and tested, located in Halifax but will deliver for return train fare and a carrot for the dog.

 

I also have the twin sun-roofed Panda Parade,  It's taxed and tested but I took it to my friendly mechanic and it's now in Stoke.  I'd do that one for the stupidly cheap price of £600 just to put my losses at half of what I'm asking for the pair.  I can also deliver this if needed.  

 

Pics so you can mot history them etc:

 

 

Edit:

 

 

 

Edited December 7, 2016 by For Fiats Sake

[robinmasters]

...hide yourself under a backseat blanket and have a tug whenever the anyone in question is looking.

Guaranteed to stop the interfering biddy from thinking about the cars.

[hairnet]

panda is ace and

 

1 the old git would freak

 

2 dont have spare cash till end of january

 

*cries into tea

[rantingYoof]

I'd buy a ticket for the Uno, but hope you get full cash for it ASAP to help your cash-flow issues...

[For Fiats Sake]

Bloody bank, has been sending me special loan offers all year, when I go into the branch to take advantage computer says "fuck off" and no we won't extend your overdraft.  Bastards.

[buckbuckbuckie]

I hope things improve for you soon.

[For Fiats Sake]

Uno tickets 8 each or 15 for multiplas of two.

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Good luck

[For Fiats Sake]

I've had a reply from the council but it's too depressing to post right now.

[They_all_do_that_sir]

I've had a reply from the council but it's too depressing to post right now.

This requires a "don't like" button. Hope all is OK dude

 

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[DodgeRover]

I've had a reply from the council but it's too depressing to post right now.

I'm sure someone who posted on here was an actual lawyer perhaps it could be time to get a professional letter sent to the jobsworths?

[The Moog]

If roffle is on then I will do 4 tickets.