Ronald Mc_Bo11ox's LAGUNA ODYSSEY OMG FTP SOS ETC LOL

[Pillock]

A friend bought one at about four years old and ran it so far into the ground, it needed Time Team to find it with their fancy radar shit.

 

It hardly ever failed to proceed, but it did just add something to the "fuck it" list of non-functioning items on a daily basis and regularly jettison various fluids over the driveway. It's a great example of why they're the same price as a night in an awful Travelodge somewhere near Brentford.

[rml2345]

I was quite impressed by SOC's Laguna and how comfortable it was. That was until it vigorously shat itself which has tainted the idea of ownership somewhat.

Yours looks good and there are worse lawn ornaments than a handsome Laguna.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Sent the Lagunas keycard off today to have some new switches and a new case fitted, seems to cost about £30. PRACE BETS NOW as to whether I'll be able to lock/unlock it when the card comes back!!!! I know its nonsense to lock a flippin Laguna II but its just force of habit I suppose, plus I normally drive round with some tools in the boot and that.

[Hertz]

£30 for repair! That's a bit frivolous isn't it blowing nearly 25% of the purchase price on such a luxury item? Just use the overide key man.

 

[Anglevan]

I have to say Mr b you're a braver man than me buying a Renault, never been a fan. I can only assume you're bored of being the number one fixer of omghgf rover tat. And we will soon be seeing renaults appearing with metal plates screwed to the slam panel with 'Fixed by Mr Bollox'.

I watch with excitement at the latest exploits

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Don't hold your breath too much!!!! If this Renner needs any serious fettling it will be getting made into a fridge or whatever

[cort16]

Have you tested out the parking yet?

[Mr_Bo11ox]

The what?

[cort16]

On all the Parkers reviews it said the parking was adequate. I was just wondering if it was.

[Spottedlaurel]

One of my colleagues has an ’05-reg Laguna . He’s usually a bit Unlucky Alf when it comes to cars (in his hands even a Mazda 626 became an unreliable old heap) but he seems to have had this one for a while now and I’ve not heard of any FTP issues. I did notice the keycard thing looked a bit taped-up though.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I would say the parking is better than adequate (when its working)

[cort16]

Another success for Parkers.co.uk

[Bren]

On all the Parkers reviews it said the parking was adequate. I was just wondering if it was.

Parking is not an issue when the bastard thing never moves.

[billyboy406v6]

I would say the parking is better than adequate (when its working)

Thought parking could get a bit tricky as you coast to a halt on the A50 with a dead engine ?

[RoadworkUK]

 

???

[Richard]

[RoadworkUK]

 

This was a good thread until I rocked up

[Mr_Bo11ox]

spent £30 on this Laguna getting its keycard 'repaired' by some shitehawk outfit off eBay recently. Posted it off, waited 2 weeks, then they rang and said the card had been butchered inside and they'd had to fanny about 'hardwiring' the new battery in by soldering wires to it and gluing it to the (new) casing, which all sounded a bit bodgy. Still, they reckoned it was all working OK now so I coughed up the £2$4€6mon3yz and with some trepidation i went up the garage tonight and pointed it at the car. It only flippin works perfectly!!!! Locks and unlocks all doors, the tailgate and the pez flap. I've literally got a Laguna with a fully operational keycard!!! In fact the only thing not working on it is 2 of the tyre pressure sensors. I think you can disable the whole TPMS system (correct me if I'm wrong renner lickers) which will solve that hopefully.

[scaryoldcortina]

I presume you can disable TPMS, because it isn't working on mine.

 

 

It could just be broken though!

[sloth]

yo bolleaux. the tpms can be turned of by your local surrender monkey  renner dealer for about 30 groats.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Flippin heck I don't know if I have the stones to go near a Renner dealer with this old heap, I imagine them a) making a cross out of two nearby biros to protect themselves and telling me to get out or b.) tigerbumming me for £300 as soon as I step through the door

[garethj]

When you park it on the forecourt, nonchalantly lock the doors with the keycard as you walk away, even better if you can do the thing where it winds all the windows up at the same time.  Then pretend to forget and unlock the boot to get your jacket out.  That'll show them you mean business.

 

They'll be so relieved they won't have to bump start it off the lot that they'll do anything for you.

[Lankytim]

I swore this was a diesel. Are you sure it's not a diesel?

[twosmoke300]

I had a tpms fault on a scenic and took it to the local Renault specialist to sort it . They plugged in the diagnostic stuff and it said to inflate tyres to 80 psi or something silly . It then wouldn't communicate so we gave it up as a bad job . I let the tyres back down and drove back to the workshop . It's been fine since so I wonder if by over inflating the tyres puts it into some sort of learning mode .

[Pillock]

Probably. Maybe you can fix the diesels by overfilling the sump with 30L of oil too.

 

Bloody French.

[Richard]

There seems to be knockoff diagnostic kit available for most makes but I can't find anything for Renault. You would think there would be enough demand for somebody to make some.

[billyboy406v6]

There seems to be knockoff diagnostic kit available for most makes but I can't find anything for Renault. You would think there would be enough demand for somebody to make some.

Probably sold out due to high demand ?

[SiC]

There seems to be knockoff diagnostic kit available for most makes but I can't find anything for Renault. You would think there would be enough demand for somebody to make some.

There is knock-off of the Renault Dealer tool - the Renault CAN CLIP. However this is nearly as much as what you paid, even for a knock off!

 

If you can speak French or can put up with Google translate, there is DDT2000 - v2.3 is the working one apparently floating around, not anything later. This needs a cheap 409.11 lead off eBay.

 

I think TPMS failure is a MOT fail now?

 

Disabling this sort of stuff is certainly something I've got on my apps roadmap!

[scaryoldcortina]

There seems to be knockoff diagnostic kit available for most makes but I can't find anything for Renault. You would think there would be enough demand for somebody to make some.

 

They do - it's called Can Clip for some reason!

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Renault-CAN-Clip-V151-OBD2-Diagnostic-Scan-Tool-Scanner-Reprog-V138-UK-STOCK-/262150734479?hash=item3d0966c28f:g:f~cAAOSwIwhWTT~3

[scaryoldcortina]

I think TPMS failure is a MOT fail now?

 

No it isn't. Nothing in the manual about tyre pressure monitors, so unless it's putting the ABS light on because it thinks a tyre is flat I can't see how it could be a fail.