Odd reasons for a crash?

[fred]

Working nights in 2008 foggy as hell in November - got to the works car park - decided to back my car next to a bright yellow SEAT of a co worker - backed her in and the car went up in the air and ''crump''

Fucksticks - only drove into a fucking Porshe 911 in black - be fucked if I could see it in the fog - The owner was a Elf N safety bloke waiting for the night shift to turn up for a training session - It didnt go too well TBH

[LabRat]

 

 

A few years back, I had an 850 saloon that I bought for the grand price of £50.

 

Was driving back home from work, nice late September day... Comes around a blind bend and straight into the back of a punto. The young girl driving it had decided to answer her phone, by stopping in the middle of the bloody road!

 

Upon inspection,the Volvo needed it's grill straightening a touch...

 

The punto had no back window, the boot floor and hatch were pushed right in and the road was covered in flakes of wob!

 

Swapped details and got the hell out of there- it was a really nice* area of Rotherham called Rawmarsh.

 

Rang the insurance and waited... The Volvo was repaired and even had the giffer parking marks on the back repaired as they had some leftover paint at the workshop and really liked the car.

 

The insurances still haven't sorted the blame out as the punto never turned up to be assessed, it was in a ditch alight 1/2 a mile farther up the road!

 

 

 

 

 

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[Dick Cheeseburger]

This happened in around '98. I was a uni student in Plymouth and I remember reaching down to the stereo to turn up The Cardigans 'My favourite game'. The second when I looked up gave me two choices - either ram the car which had stopped in front of me, or mount the pavement outside of the Spar shop and take out the bus stop information pole. I chose the latter. When I reversed the car, the front slid down the pole a few inches. I straightened out the X member and slam panel with a scissor jack, block of wood and lump hammer. Fitted a s/h rad, white bonnet and later model front bumper and roped the bonnet down as the slam panel was still borked. Drove on for another 6 months until the MOT ran out, then sold to a nutter who repaired it and bled another 12 months of life out of it.

Do I get points for the shite number plate (edit, it's unreadable on the photo - it was D509CAC).

That song still makes me slightly twitchy if I hear it when driving...

[needforspeed]

Not a car crash as such....

 

Was about 19 years ago when i was 11,doing "Ghosties" was the IN thing

(A ghostie is pedaling your bike as fast as possible then jumping of backwards and letting bike go on at full pelt as if a ghost was on it)

 

So there i am a cocky 11 year old took a massive cycle up and jumped off was very proud of this particular ghostie as it was going fast as fuck and perfectly straight untill.....

The bike started to veer off to the left towards my dad and neighbour's cars,picture me standing in utter horror as out of all the cars parked the bike decides to go for the brand new black Golf of my neighbour,

Bike hit it and smashed headlight,dented wing scraped the whole length of car. And just for good measure took the wing mirror with it......

It gets worse due to it being a lovely summer night my neighbour was in her veranda and seen the whole fucking thing!!

So she tells me to go tell my dad, me being fucking thick thought to my little 11yr old brain "maybe if i don't tell him it will go away".......all was going well as i did not hear anything for 2 days and thought i may get away with it lol.

Erm No...neigbour met dad in street told him all of it and was pissed off he had not came round to sort it out.

Got bloody leathered for that and made to pay out of pocket money for about 3 year!

[Station]

These are still funny, Jasper Carrot did them ages ago@

 

• "I was driving along the motorway when the police pulled me over onto the hard shoulder. Unfortunately I was in the middle lane and there was another car in the way.."
• "Going to work at 7am this morning I drove out of my drive straight into a bus. The bus was 5 minutes early.."
• "I was driving along when I saw two kangaroos copulating in the middle of the road causing me to ejaculate through the sun roof." 
• "The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind."
• "I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."
• "I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the hood. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket."
• Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident? A: Travelled by bus?
• The claimant had collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were - Q: What warning was given by you? A: Horn. Q: What warning was given by the other party? A: Moo.
• "I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard."
• "On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke."
• "I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control."
• "I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight"
• "I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk."
• Q: Do you engage in motorcycling, hunting or any other pastimes of a hazardous nature? A: "I Watch the Lottery Show and listen to Terry Wogan."
• "First car stopped suddenly, second car hit first car and a haggis ran into the rear of second car."
• "Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo."
• "The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again"
• "I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment."
• "The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention."
• "I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way"
• "A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face"
• "A pedestrian hit me and went under my car"
• "In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."
• "I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car."
• "I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident."
• "An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished."
• "I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."
• "Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have."
• "I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it."
• "The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."
• "I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident."
• "As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before."
• "To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian."
• "My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle."
• "I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull."
• "I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him."
• "The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him."
• "I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car."
• "The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth."
• "The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of the way when I struck the front end."
• "The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing. "
• "I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way."
• "I was backing my car out of the driveway in the usual manner, when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several times before."
• "When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car."
• "The accident happened when the right front door of a car came round the corner without giving a signal."
• "No one was to blame for the accident but it would never have happened if the other driver had been alert."
• "I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries."
• "The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him."
• "I saw her look at me twice. She appeared to be making slow progress when we met on impact."
• "The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle."
• "I bumped into a lamp-post which was obscured by human beings."
• "The accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week."
• "I knocked over a man; he admitted it was his fault for he had been knocked down before."

[Ghosty]

Not a car crash as such....

 

Was about 19 years ago when i was 11,doing "Ghosties" was the IN thing

(A ghostie is pedaling your bike as fast as possible then jumping of backwards and letting bike go on at full pelt as if a ghost was on it)

 

 

 

 

I'm 19 and I was very concerned for a second.

[needforspeed]

I'm 19 and I was very concerned for a second.

Hahaha fun times, still never stopped me doing ghosties though.

[needforspeed]

I'm 19 and I was very concerned for a second.

Hahaha fun times, still never stopped me doing ghosties though.

[bigfella2]

My best mate was driving along in his dads civic following a bus full of people, whilst checking out a tidy bird on the pavement on the other side of the road. Bus stops, he didn't. Made himself look a right tit.

[anonymous user]

Working nights in 2008 foggy as hell in November - got to the works car park - decided to back my car next to a bright yellow SEAT of a co worker - backed her in and the car went up in the air and ''crump''

Fucksticks - only drove into a fucking Porshe 911 in black - be fucked if I could see it in the fog - The owner was a Elf N safety bloke waiting for the night shift to turn up for a training session - It didnt go too well TBH

My father did similar years ago when we visited my grandfather in hospital, we were a bit late for visiting and the car park was full, but an empty space was spotted. Dad reversed in and came to a very abrupt stop. The space was empty because it contained a raised brick built manhole chamber. Damage to the Mini traveller was limited to the number plate lights and a nasty mark on the half-timbering to the doors.

 

I've just remembered an incident with the same Mini when I was driving. One of our neighbours had a pet goat, it was often tethered outside their place on the grass verge. I was quite happily driving along, just as I was noticing that for a change it was grazing the opposite verge to usual its tethering chain, which I hadn't noticed, caught the front of the Mini under the headlights. As I braked sharply the goat flew across the road and the front of the car, before coming to rest on its normal verge. It calmly got up and started eating again, once I had regained composure I popped in to tell the owners that they might need to think about shortening the tethering chain.

[mat_the_cat]

Swapped details and got the hell out of there- it was a really nice* area of Rotherham called Rawmarsh.

 

Ha! My first girlfriend lived there...the only good reason to visit!

[LabRat]

Yeah... I was the lab tech at the local school for nearly 10 years, that was a fun* experience!

 

 

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[New POD]

Once crashed a z500 into the back gate side ways.

 

I'd walked UP the garden, opened the gate, walked back to z500, started it up, wheel spun across the grass, heading towards the now closed gate, (bloody wind), pulled the front brakes, and obviously ended up skidding in the mud, into the gate. At about 5 mph.

 

Mind you that rented student house had mud spread up the back wall and on the roof from my morning start up technique.

[CHRIS1980]

I crashed my mini Mayfair into a lamppost on a wet roundabout, milliseconds after finishing a sentence about how good minis grip in the wet. It was witnessed by a group of lads in a Ford Orion much to their amusement. I never forget it,it was a mint mini and I was looking forward to taking it to MINI40 at silver stone a few days later. Instead it turned up in it battered and badly repaired.

[Bear]

Thought I'd take advantage of a flooded riverbank to hone my offroad driving skills in the Panda 4x4. Was much fun, particularly going through big muddy puddles.

 

At least, until the really tempting looking puddle that was deeper than the front end of a Fiat Panda, submerged the air intake and stalled the car as water started pouring in.

 

Climbed out of the sunroof, ran home, got the 405 GLx4 and a rope. Pulled the Panda out, stopped the 405, Panda kept coming, rope hit the back wheel and started to pull the Panda towards the 405; jumped out and put myself between the two cars. Popped the 405 back home, collected the Panda and drove it around a mini roundabout the wrong way holding the driver's door open to empty the water out.

[gordonbennet]

The tethered goat triggered a memory.

 

A49 between Ross and Hereford, came upon the scene of a accident just happened, Mondeo i think somehow lost control overturned and hit a telegraph pole bringing it partway down.

 

Anyway traffic can get past, chap had stopped to help in a Legacy estate (we met a few moments later), my turn to go through, remember i'm in a car transporter, well the accident was on a slight bend and the telegraph wires are still attached, and none of us including me noticed that one of them is taught and lower than usual and has short cut the curve of the bend, which promptly catches on one of the lorry deck posts and slips down the inside, still none of us have noticed, cable tensions lifts the telegraph pole and rams it into the side of the good samaritans Legacy, kinell, he was a suprisingly sprightly chap too leaping out the way as the pole shot sideways.

 

So, i take me trusty hammer and break the tensioned wire which allows me to break free, get the lorry out the way and go back to sort things out.

Bloke in the Legacy is fine about it, its a bloody big company i work for and assured him they'll sort his car out no probs (mind you the poor sod with the Mondeo i bet got the bill for the lot), i know it won't be a problem says he cos i'm a personal friend of your managing director, gulp, nah he was fine really and saw the funny side of it but he was indeed a mate of the top mans.

He was fine until that is the copper attending decided to breathalyse the Legacy driving good samaritan and not me, not a positive but why him and not me too?

 

Its a bloody strange world.

[TataBobu]

I once went to birthday party of a friend of mine, somewhere in the countryside. I noticed the opened gates, and I tried to park after them. As I was driving before the opened gates at 5 kmh and looking inside the courtyard, I've seen everyone frantically waving at me. As I waved back my front left wheel fell into a ditch I failed to notice, leaving the car standing on two wheels and the left side outer sill.

I needed help to get the car out of the ditch, but the damage was just to my pride.

[Eddie Honda]

Not really odd, but In my much lighter days, I stopped at group of friends at the open end corner of a no through road and said I'd give them a lift.

 

https://goo.gl/maps/WT8HQf6uHz12

 

So I went a few yards further up and then proceded to do a three-point turn, but starting from the right-hand side of the road and rolling in second gear. Next thing I saw was the scenery shifting from horizontal to a 45 degree-ish angle, before correcting itself and coming to a halt just before the hedge on the left hand side of the picture. After reversing back and rejoining my friends the number willing to take a lift had diminished to about 1. They had seen the car on OMGONEWHEEL! (offside rear) briefly and thought it more prudent to continue their journeys by foot. The bottom offside corner of the front of the car had left a 4-foot long white mark on the tarmac where it had come in contact after the front wheel lifted.

 

First rule of driving a Reliant Regal, don't do a three pointer from the wrong side of the road any faster than 0.5mph without a front seat passenger.