Come up and see my Postcards some time...

[Karmann Ghiaman]

'Tis the Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness and therefore about time we looked at a few more postcards:

 

 

Classic cliche card sent from Hampstead NW3 to Brighton in October 1961:

 

In bed - Monday

 

Hope you got back o.k. I still feel pretty queer 'flu Dr. Drew says am to have at least 2 days off, so I am phoning the lady who comes to school "in emergencies" when I am o.k. I only hope you didn't catch it, but as it only came on Sat. night I couldn't put you off!! I called the hospital where I guessed A.K. was & the ward sister says she's o.k., but they'll have to keep in there a bit as she's broken left arm I obviously can't manage alone in home all day. - Oh dear! I am sure I can't go to hear Shostakovitch violin piece & some Bartok, Festival Hall tomorrow

 

Cultural activities were curtailed.

 

St. Matthew's Church, Millbrook, Jersey + fine visiting Shite of the period:

 

 

Never sent.

 

Torquay. Devon. May 1986:

 

 

Dear Miriam

Just a few lines to say we are having a nice time lovely Hotel & food wish you and Ciss was with us, its rather windy but Dry

Cheerio

 Love Olive & Bob

 

Not Fawlty Towers then.

 

 

Excellent scene with 2 types of AA sign, RAC ditto AND Watney's  Red Barrel, awkward people, Shite and wobbly yellow lines! What more could we ask? Sadly, however, never sent (yet).

 

Grotesque set up referencing peculiarly well-remembered folk song which has, as it were, put the obscure place on the map:

 

 

Old Git Special, never sent, but this will be trumped by the appearance of Claude Greengrass, aka Bill Maynard, in the card from Goathland, North Yorkshire, when we get up there...

 

Yes, plenty more to follow. You will get your fix, gentlemen.

[Andrew353w]

More, more more, PLEEEEAAAASSSEEEEE!!! I love these threads!

[Mr Lobster]

Ace! C'mon, more please.

[Vin]

I was trying to work out whether that blue car in Porlock is a Moskvich or a Renault 16. Or neither.

 

Widecombe Fair. The Shiter's folk song. You borrow your neighbour's 'ride' to take you and your mates on a piss-up. But it's old and fucked and dies on the way back. :?

[Karmann Ghiaman]

Think Old Uncle Tom Cobley is wondering where the fookin' Fair is?

 

Good Shite here at The Sea Shanty, Branscombe:

 

 

(I think I'd give that svelt brunette in the sleeveless top a second glance too (like the old boy going down to the beach whose been caught in the act), 'specially if she was sashaying along behind her boyfriend like that.)

 

Several from the West Country coming up, though sadly never sent 

 

A lot of Heralds in this particular tranche...

 

 

AA, RAC and Walls sign in that one = Result!

 

Many will recognise Corfe Castle, Dorset. This card is unusual in being dated by the publisher, 1988. It also warns you that it's 'A property of the National Trust' which means that you'll need another bank loan if you intend to wander round the ruins (unless you remember to borrow someone's membership card before you go down there).

 

 

Brown Ford & Renner blanc (?) badly hidden there.

 

Another quintissentially English rural scene Printed in Ireland:

 

 

Don't miss the Yarn Market (very useful if you need any yarn) and the packhorse bridge which is mentioned on the back but wasn't near enough to get into the same card. They also inform us that 'The castle has twice been besieged in its long history' - once by the Roundheads, once by angry people who realised that the National Trust/English Heritage/His Lordship/Whoever was trying it on by charging £15.50 a head. Or 15 and a half Pee in 1973.

 

Broadway:

 

 

Watching that Danny Baker thing currently on TV I noticed that all the classic Shite is beautifully polished and looks brand new. These cards prove, of course, that actual Crud in the '70s was covered in rust and repaired with with bits of string and dymo tape. Who cast Peter Kay as a cockney? What next? Lenny Henry as an Eskimo?

 

Now entering the important sub-section of Lucky Kitten Cards:

 

 

We've got a dim-witted cat who was very photogenic as a kitten, but now (aged 7) is enormously fat and can't even scramble over the fence to shit in next door's garden like her fitter, more intelligent sister does. Note raspberry ripple Herald top right.

 

At last, one that's been sent:

 

 

Lovely sunny day today [29 October 1986 in case you're interested] after a lot of rain and mist. Going to the Needles today hope to take some pictures.

 Hotel very good. Shanklin is very nice. See you.

                                                                        Ruth Eric

 

Don't think Bill Bryson has much to fear from them in the travelogue department.

[chaseracer]

I was trying to work out whether that blue car in Porlock is a Moskvich or a Renault 16. Or neither.

 

Early-ish R16.

 

I IZ SAD FROG CAR GEEK...

[chaseracer]

Torquay. Devon. May 1986:

 

 

 

That footbridge is amazing!    EDIT: Still there, according to GSV.  That beautiful tree at the junction has gone, though...

 

No Bentleys - xtriple will be dissapoint.

[chaseracer]

If you ever wondered what Rick Stein did before he cooked fish...

 

[NorfolkNWeigh]

I think that "brown Ford" near Corfe Castle is a Volvo 240.

I concur , and to complete the dismantling of your theories I think the white estate might be a Mazda 323. Don't know why but sometimes you glance at a picture and in your head just think ' oh nice picture of a Y reg Volvo 245 DL an A reg Mazda 323 1500 and a C reg Renault 9TL and look a falling down building in the background.

Or is that just me?

[chaseracer]

^ Nope!

[robinmasters]

Dunster High Street; still home to a smattering of shite.

 

[Cheggers]

This is brilliant, thanks for sharing.

[Squire_Dawson]

Where... is.... Greengrass...?

[Karmann Ghiaman]

This one he patiently waited till all Shite was out of sight, but there are still some nice roadsigns, double yellow lines and useful information painted on Hampshire:

 

 

(Magnified, one white piece o'Shite can just be discerned hiding to the right of the wierdly forever amber traffic light). 

 

Moving along the south coast:

 

 

Another Herald?!? Test Your Brakes time.

 

Again no Shite, but another Walls sign and extremely politically incorrect litter bin at the Paddling Pool & Palace Pier, Brighton, sent in 1963:

 

 

Dear Frances,

                       We arrived OK on time. Showers on the way here last night but a terrific wind. There was supposed to be a pier-to-pier swim, but the sea was far too rough. How are you managing - don't forget my plants - showers and sunshine this morning.

 Love to you & Mary. Dad/Simon & Mum

 

Sent to Bristol with 2 beautiful penny blue and one ha'penny orange, Audrey Hepburn standing in for the Queen. When will they do a grumpy octogenarian monarch on the stamps? She hasn't smiled since the Silver Jubilee (except to horses).

 

Move along, nothing to see here:

 

 

Slightly creepy. Never sent.

 

Earlier era crimped-edge card:

 

 

Probably still looks exactly the same. Google Earth anybody?

 

This one, from that Sacred Year of 1973, is a bit exceptional in that he's sent a postcard of his own house (or very nearby):

 

 

11 Helpston Bd.

Allsworth

Peterborough 

PE5 7AE

 

Saturday.

 

Dear Jonathan,

                         I did have a very pleasant surprise when your calendar arrived. It was a nice one & you were very kind to send it to me. [Yeah, it's in the bin now you wretched cheapskate ingrate]. I can make good use of it. [NOT] Well, how are you. Mrs Owen & I trust that you are well & that you had a nice Christmas. How i the organ going? I hope to hear a nice tune when I come down. Give our regards to Angela & to your Daddy & Mummy With all our love to you.

                                                    Grandpa.

xxxx for Angela.

 

Beautiful handwriting. Brrrrr!

[NorfolkNWeigh]

The Walberswick Renault dealer was doing alright, although the flash chav that bought the 1300E probably made the best long term investment . Assuming all four of them hadn't rotted away before they were 10 years old.

[Richard]

Do you see a lot of postcards of people's houses? I suppose somebody would have gone round the doors selling them, like they used to with aerial photos. An old postcard of our house turned up in a local antique shop once, for some reason it had a couple of biplanes added in to the sky. The shop owner was grasping even by antique dealer standards so gawd knows what she would have been asking for the card, she charged my mother £4 for an inkjet print of it on normal A4 paper.

[chaseracer]

 

 

(Magnified, one white piece o'Shite can just be discerned hiding to the right of the wierdly forever amber traffic light). 

 

Peugeot 205...?

[Cheggers]

Peugeot 205...?

I was thinking Metro...?

[inconsistant]

Nice cards. Like the Frank Sidebottom litter bin. Also see a Chevette estate lurking in one of them.

 

Moore!

[chaseracer]

Earlier era crimped-edge card:

 

 

Probably still looks exactly the same. Google Earth anybody?

 

 

[Pillock]

I was thinking Metro...?

I was thinking high spec Metro too, with the black tailgate strip.

 

Dunster high street I think has featured before, I remember Google Earthing that weird building.

[meggersdog]

I know this road very well

 

11 Helpston Bd.

Allsworth

Peterborough

The photo was taken right on the corner of the road.The bungalow on the corner (which is out of view) belongs to a chap I was at school with.The scene is very much the same except for where Dave lives.With a rotting Clio on the drive ,a tumbled down garden shed, a front garden covered in brambles and boarded up windows it looks like Buffalo Bill's place in Silence of the lambs.

[chaseracer]

This one, from that Sacred Year of 1973, is a bit exceptional in that he's sent a postcard of his own house (or very nearby):

 

 

 

 

Not much has changed...

 

 

 

But... further down the road...

 

 

[carlo]

Autoshite wouldn't be autoshite without these posts.  Any more please?

[Mr A Lawrence]

^^^^ I agree. Keep em coming!!

[mercrocker]

Peugeot 205...?

 

Drove down here this morning....No 80s white hatchback of any description to be seen unfortunately.  Just some nob in a Pisshat trying to push in.   If you carry on along the road straight on there is a Maserati showroom at the other end of the village.   Of no particular interest except they recently had a Mistrale convertible in there amongst all the diesel buffoonery.

[Mr A Lawrence]

 

[Karmann Ghiaman]

Thank you for the Google Earthing, Postcards + Google = Endless Fascination

 

{Ppc + GE} =   x 10^10,000

 

Meanwhile, back in 1979:

 

 

SUNDAY 19th. AUGUST

 

Dear Mrs Stonehouse

We are having a nice time here, although the weather is pretty rough. My husband is here for the weekend, so we are touring round a bit. See you again soon.

                                  Lorely.

 

It was difficult to read the signature which was at first mistaken for polar opposites 'Lovely' and 'Lonely'. The main thing is that this banal information has survived down the Ages.

 

Dr Johnson closely admiring most excellent Van Crud parked slap bang in the middle of the card:

 

 

Not sent.

 

Think this is in Lincs, but you still have to go through Rutland to get to it from Notts:

 

 

Place in Derbyshire which proves the old adage Every cloud has a silver lining...

 

 

Yes, you can make tourist $$$$s out of bubonic plague.

 

Very old one in perfect condition with interesting solid wheel steam omnibus:

 

 

Never sent, hence the condition. Rather oddly the publisher, Valentine's, has included seemingly irrelevant verse "Not once or twice/ in our rough island story,/ The path of duty/ was the way to glory." Tennyson. Which makes me suspect it's of Great War vintage and you're supposed to feel guilty and go and join Kitchener's boys when your sweetheart sends you that card from Buxton.

 

At last! By popular demand:

 

 

GOATHLAND, NORTH YORKSHIRE

Lovable rogue Jeramiah Greengrass, alias Bill Maynard, taking a break during filming of Yorkshire/Tyne Tees Television's popular TV drama Heartbeat.

Produced by king permission of Bill 'See you at the Garrick, Darling. Ciao' Maynard.

 

 

Coming up: Welsh Women Special...

[Karmann Ghiaman]

Nidderdale, Pateley Bridge:

 

 

Shite Lite, good badly-filled in road, but not nearly enough yellow lines to be a true classic.

 

No collection would be complete without:

 

 

Postmarked 26 June 1967

 

Dear Mam& Dad/

                           Having a nice time. here the weather not to good but the camp we are on is smashing plenty to see, and good shows.

                            Love

                             Wyn n John

                                       Josie & Jim/

 

Sent to Erdington in Birmingham.

 

 

Hardknott Pass & Eskdale above. Never sent.

 

Over on the other coast we strike a rich Northumberland seam. Two from Alnwick:

 

 

 

Never sent, but a Megashitestrike above! Drool. (Young James has given up on shop an' gone doon to that there Lunnon, to RADA, to be a nactor, Bonny Lad).

 

Even the local aristocracy adorn their homes with shite, as we see at nearby  Ford Castle:

 

 

And Lady Waterford Hall with Her Ladyship's 1967 purple beauty eclipsing what was originally the mad gothic village school:

 

 

Yes, yes, yes!

[carlo]

In that second Alnwick scene I thought that was an exotic looking Italian coupe next to the Bedford camper in the foreground but on closer inspection may be nothing more than an early Escort.