Skizzer's XJ-S

[Junkman]

Friend of mine says the V12s tend to rot less than the 6 cylinders, because they spray the undercarriage with more oil and run hotter.

Bonus points if you find no chickens living in it when it's in Cardigan, he added.

It'll be parked between some Merc 508 vans with wood burners fitted running on chip fat.

[xtriple]

I had a white V12 that was pre H.E. on a 'T' or 'V' reg and it was the best of the many I had! Yes, the fuel consumption was truly tragic and it had the obligatory swimming pool feature under the rear seat and it used to like trying to rust... but I wouldn't let it! Oh yeah, it had velour trim as well, no leather!

 

I had an H.E. that was a lovely sage green with cream interior and it looked gorgeous and was an absolute dog. It really didn't like being a car, it would have preferred to be a shed or a chicken coop...

 

had a red (metallic) one with all the TWR bollox on it and again, it looked great but got lent to friends to blow up (yes I had too much money then and no sense) as I hated the fucker so much. One friend finally managed to blow a head gasket on it so I traded it with another dealer for cash and a mk1 Granada!

 

I would love another one and it would have to be a V12 even though they are a world of pain just waiting to inflict itself upon you, but that engine is a peach when running right.

 

If you need a hand changing the plugs, ask anyone but me! It took me and a full time mechanic six hours to change them on the H.E. but we didn't de-pressurise the air-con or anything and it is just doable with extensions and wobble joints and drives.

[skattrd]

Yo Skizzer, moar updates please

[dollywobbler]

Yo Skizzer, moar updates please

 

Do I need to head south with a tow rope?

[chaseracer]

Tuesday has dawned, filled with promise behind the grey clouds.  I am off to deepest Cardigan, in Little England Beyond Wales, to collect this:

 

 

 

B@ST@RD!!!!!

 

(Can I have a go, please...?) 

 

[anonymous user]

Well at least with a V12 there will be plenty of opportunities for petrol station shots on the way back.

[anonymous user]

Do I need to head south with a tow rope?

I'd love to see the Dyane trying to drag an XJS along

[Skizzer]

Whew, I'm home.

 

It's not going to be yet another boring collection thread that goes well, is it?

 

Not entirely, no.

 

The Jag did eventually make it all the way back - part of the way twice.

[Skizzer]

We arrived a bit late because the satnav sent us via a rather direct route that involve 20 miles of single track road with passing places every mile or so, and freak weather and haunted houses and everything.  Scary.

 

Jag was in a much, much bigger shed than mine (shed envy), half of which is for making motorcaravans and half of which is for storing shite.  

 

Bonus points if you find no chickens living in it when it's in Cardigan, he added.

It'll be parked between some Merc 508 vans with wood burners fitted running on chip fat.

 

Very close.  It was actually parked between a Merc 560SEC (the ugly interestingly-styled double glazed one) and a very tidy 16v Calibra that are being kept for posterity.  Other inmates included a Forward Control Land Rover that was someone's home in Saudi for two years, an A-reg Esprit, a couple of 944s and some partly dismantled Land Rovers.

 

Got to go for dinner now, more in a few mins. 

[Cavcraft]

You lucky sod, these are fabulous looking cars. Well bought.

[richardthestag]

wow, hope you laid down a couple of number 11s on the way home

[Junkman]

Got to go for dinner now, more in a few mins. 

 

Dinner can wait. We not.

[Magnificent Rustbucket]

wow, hope you laid down a couple of number 11s on the way home

 

They probably cost him a tenner each time he does it!

[Richard]

You're going to have to get used to cracks about fuel consumption.

[Junkman]

Entirely btw.

 

 

No more sheeps: XJ-S collection day

 

FTFY

[holbeck]

XJ-S collected.... Audi for sale?

[EssDeeWon]

Skizzers been told to go in for his tea....

 

Were all hanging around at his virtual front gate waiting for him to come back out and play......and show us this Jag.

[chaseracer]

They probably cost him a tenner each time he does it!

 

He's a quid ahead each side!  Bargainous! 

[Bren]

Jags.

 

Bentley's.

 

Instead of a raffle, how about a sweep - the first person on here to have a car related nervous breakdown?

 

Who will be first to develop the inspector Dreyfuss- like twitch?

[Skizzer]

No more sheeps: XJ-S collection day

 

Ba-dum tish.

 

Right, back from dinner now.  

 

In the metal the car looks just like in the pictures, which is very good news.  Paint is generally good but not great, has a bit of discolouration here and there (worst on the n/s rear wing) and some microblistering on the boot lid.  It's had a respray at some point, not recently, and could do with another.  Chrome is a bit pitted and flaky on the back bumper.  Outer arches and sills look great, and the inners all stand up to firm poking (fnarr fnarr), even the sill ends that are usually made of old Twix wrappers.  

 

It fires up immediately and sits there humming away, smelling of BFO petrol engines and money.

 

The inside is good: the veneer is tip top, the seats are pretty good apart from a bit of stray piping on the drivers side and slightly flattened side bolsters suggesting a previous owner may have eaten a fair few pies, or done a lot of on-the-limit cornering.  The carpet is good.  The headlining is scrap - grubby, slightly mouldy and hanging in festoons like a Bedouin tent: it's held up very effectively by some artfully sprung bits of plywood though.

 

We have a chat with the seller, like you do - really nice chap -  and do the paperwork bit.  The guys in the workshop are sorry to see it go and one of them makes me an offer for it on the spot, but I want to have a go, so off we drive (I'm in convoy with pal Ripper) to have lunch in Cardigan, by way of a petrol station:

 

1982 Jaguar XJ-S HE by Skizzer, on Flickr

[skattrd]

PHWOAR ...

 

We need to have another meet 'cos I want a play in this, or BV's, I'm not fussy.

[chaseracer]

...by way of a petrol station:

 

 

 

And another:

 

 

And another:

 

 

And another:

 

 

Etc.

 

[Skizzer]

I hope not, mate - flippin 80-odd quid it took to fill up, and it wasn't even empty.  I haven't looked to see how much it used on the way home, because I don't want to win the Inspector Dreyfus twitch contest.

 

Anyway, a diversion: handbrakes.  I never use the handbrake.  As someone else wisely said on here the other day, they get used once a year by the MOT tester and that's it.  You never know when you're going to leave the car where it is for a year, by which time the handbrake will have seized on, and anyway the gearbox is far better at stopping the car from going anywhere on its own.

 

So what possessed me today to use the handbrake for a gentle hill start in an old Jaguar?

 

You can guess what happened: 10 miles down the road there's a distinct smell of burnt brakes, the brake warning light comes on.  We pull off the road and admire the wisps of smoke coming off the back wheels.

[Skizzer]

Up until I fried the brakes, it was running very, very well.  The engine is super smooth.  It doesn't rumble like a V8, just roars distantly when it kicks down - more like a big six.  The autobox is nearly new (replaced 5000 miles ago) and feels it.  The previous owner, by the way, had the car for 25 years in which time he did 10,000 miles - 450 of them in the last five years.  (Yes, this might be related to the fuelling cost.)  But it got an MOT every year, so it did get an outing from time to time.

 

Anyway, I get on the phone to the seller - not to complain in an eBay mongtard fashion but just to ask if we can nurse the car back to his place get it recovered later, rather than wait for a flatbed all the way back to Swansea (Wales is bigger than you think).  Nah, sod that, he says - bring it back and we'll put it on the ramp and free off the handbrake for you.  Win.

 

So we did:

 

1982 Jaguar XJ-S HE by Skizzer, on Flickr

 

Check out the Renault Trafic Winnebago-shite.  Ace or what.

[Skizzer]

PHWOAR ...

 

We need to have another meet 'cos I want a play in this, or BV's, I'm not fussy.

 

Let's meet at Santa Pod and do both.  Which is faster - 4.0 straight six or 5.3 V12 with the handbrake on?

[Bren]

Sticking brakes? No wonder it needed a new box.

[michael1703]

If the back axle didn't fall out when lifted on a two poster, it's a good car

[richardmorris]

Sound like a proper seller and a good buy. Good luck- and for falling fuel prices!

[Skizzer]

Friend of mine says the V12s tend to rot less than the 6 cylinders, because they spray the undercarriage with more oil and run hotter.

 

Your friend is right.  A look underneath while it was on the 2-post lift confirmed 1. that it is indeed pretty solid and 2. that it does come with the standard self-lubricating chassis:

 

1982 Jaguar XJ-S HE by Skizzer, on Flickr

 

After some jiggling about with a stick and a couple of jocular references to fuel consumption, the handbrake is freed off and we head out again.  I give the mechanic chap a note for a drink and the seller gives me a set of balljoints that he bought a while ago because the o/s front one is a bit clicky. 

 

Off we go again.

 

1982 Jaguar XJ-S HE by Skizzer, on Flickr

[Bear]

Check out the Renault Trafic Winnebago-shite.  Ace or what.

 

A LeSharo? Fucking hell. Distracted from the XJ-S for a moment there.

 

Handbrake stuck on on mine. I was warned not to use it. Fly-off type that seemingly doesn't remarkably often.