Bentley Turbo R total shite! Now, Brooklands 'R' turbo shite....

[Junkman]

Yeah, they all fill their garages with consume/obey/conform shit from China the world doesn't need, instead of buying an old Royce or Bentley,

like everyone with half a brain would.

Which is good, because it leaves more of these cars for us.

[xtriple]

Got insurance quotes for the old girl - £170 was the cheapest. No 'no claims' and on the street parking! Not too bad I don't think I shall transfer monies tomorrow and insure and tax her ready for when I get her.

 

Thinking I might invest in a big BIG car cover with a soft interior made of blonde virgins hair and an outside of pure duck to repel water. Got  to be better than sitting out in the rain?

[sierraman]

Looks a nice motor, at least if it's on a set of Avons it's been in the right hands, not by some berk whose put a set of van tyres on it, then 'had a go' at repairing some rusty arches with some P40 and some aerosols.

[xtriple]

I have just received, by medium of the postal service a most distressing missive.

 

Addressed to:

 

Sir David Towers.

Garden Suite...

Etc.

 

Inside is a card that looks for all the world like a p.o. card to say your parcel has been left in the dog but the wording is rather different!

 

Header line is:

 

CRAP!

 

And there is drawn a picture of a most rude nature which apparently I am to affix to the poor, innocent Honda...

 

and a beautiful 'Autoshite' sticker!

 

Thank you very much, you are a true gentleman... what you got against Hondas then? 

[xtriple]

Just insured it, £197 fully comp with no no claims (good being old!) and taxed it online for £230. So it's all go for Wednesday I hope....

 

Also, just increased my AA cover to include relay and homestart... got to think positively!

 

Had AA for decades but the Honda comes with Honda Assist (which is AA cover!) so just had it 'ticking over' now gone up to £13 pm. Arse.

[chaseracer]

...I can't help thinking that the AS way of spending £9K on luxury motoring would be to buy 20 Rover 75s (5 K-series with HGF, 5 diesels with a borked clutch slave cylinder, 5 KV6s with overdue timing belts and 5 others with an unknown, "lucky dip" fault that may or may not lead to catastrophic failure) !

 

You are almost Lord Sterling AICM£5...

 

[xtriple]

Collection is one for the 'morrow! Friend picking me up at 11:30 and off we jolly well go!  I will take pictures of Hyundia IX35 and friend just to prove I have at least, one friend!

[anonymous user]

I'm really envious.......that you have a friend, oh and a Bentley

[Bear]

Collection is one for the 'morrow! Friend picking me up at 11:30 and off we jolly well go!  I will take pictures of Hyundia IX35 and friend just to prove I have at least, one friend!

 

Uber doesn't count as 'friend'. I know there was that thing about hookups, but SRSLY. Bentley owners have acquaintances, not friends.

[Junkman]

I know there was that thing about hookers, but SRSLY. Bentley owners have those, not friends.

 

FTFY

[eddyramrod]

"Strings of" hookers, I think you'll find....

[panhard65]

Collection is one for the 'morrow! Friend picking me up at 11:30 and off we jolly well go!  I will take pictures of Hyundia IX35 and friend just to prove I have at least, one friend!

It's 1/4 past 3 and no update. I expect it is taking so long filling the tank for the petrol station shot.

[tooSavvy]

... can we have 'filling up hooker shot'?

 

TS

[xtriple]

Collection was seriously uneventful! Delightful almost... The guy I have been dealing with was so pleasant it was untrue - he obviously thought I was a timewaster before. He showed me everything on the car, answered all my questions, even put £30 of fuel in the car for me!

 

Driving home was a revelation: for the first time I actually pressed the throttle properly (don't like messing about when it's someone else's car) and dear God, the old girl REALLY picks up her skirts and flies! I cannot get used to the handling: I expect it to wallow and roll into corners and it doesn't. I expect it to rear up when you accelerate and it doesn't. I expect it to dive at the front when you brake and it....

 

Astounding how such a HUGE car can handle so well!

 

Phoebe and Chester have already got dog hair everywhere and muddy footprints all over the back seat, plus, they have come home with their heads hanging out of a window each. I think they like it. I do not like the fuel gauge!

 

Spent the entire journey home watching all the dials and gauges. After my modern, it is stressful as the Honda only has a fuel gauge and this has got everything and my OCD means I have to keep an keen eye on them!  It has loads of history, two sets of keys and alarm fobs/remotes and even the aerial works - the stereo requires a degree in electronics to work, I got the radio on and left it at that!

 

I really didn't check the car very well before purchase as I didn't know it had two sets of keys, or history or the books (I shall look forward to reading them tonight!) and I also missed a bloody dent in the drivers side rear door - cock!

 

I only have pictures of it so far with my mate Mark in the drivers seat but he's a photographer and he took some so maybe later...

 

 

Transport for the day.

 

 

Mark sat in the drivers seat.... guess who in the back

 

 

 

 

 

[panhard65]

Now I wish I had saved up a bit more and bought a turbo with the active ride instead. The old spirit does do the wallowing etc that the Bently obviously keeps under control. Enjoy !!!

[Shep Shepherd]

What a sublime automotive conveyance. I'd love to own one at some point, even for a short time.

[Junkman]

I prefer wallowing AND turbo, hence my choice shall be the Mulsanne Turbo.

[Fat_Pirate]

That is brilliant, I've always assumed they were only fast in a straight line.

 

Also, I INSIST that the photo of your dogs on the back seat goes into this year's calendar.

[phil_lihp]

That's just lovely.  Please tell me the dogs get a blanket for the back seat though, would be a shame to end up with claw marks on the cream leather!

[dollywobbler]

That's just lovely.  Please tell me the dogs get a blanket for the back seat though, would be a shame to end up with claw marks on the cream leather!

 

Indeed. I suspect the dogs will be capable of knocking quite a bit of value off that car if you're not careful. What a motor though. 

[chaseracer]

Dave, that is sublime.  You git.  

 

Get that sticker on the back window, sharpish...

[xtriple]

Right, got my head together a bit more now.

 

I couldn't sleep at all last night - was still awake at gone 7:00 this morning! Obviously I then fell asleep and didn't wake until 10:00 so I was totally disorganised! Meant to get blankets and stuff to protect the back seats and CDs and all sorts and forgot the lot!

 

Mark turned up on time the bastard and wanted to get on so it was a rush... It cost me for the trip up, a costa coffee! He wouldn't let me pay for fuel or anything... the coffee was nice though!

 

It really has been looked after very well. Just had the 'C' service (yesterday) and it is running fully synthetic 5/40 oil. I thought these needed old fashioned thick stuff but what the hell do I know!   Paying for it was a complete non-event! Just stuck my card in the reader, pushed buttons and all done. My bloody bank could at least have queried it  

 

I was really nervous of it. I haven't bought anything this old in years and I was fully expecting dramas and tantrums (mine) cos anything over five years old is shit! It doesn't feel old in the slightest! It does feel very different to the Honda though! Everything on the Insight is light and instant whereas the Bentley has... gravitas! The brakes are lovely but actually require you to press the pedal rather than just rest your foot and the same with the steering, though not with your foot!

 

The controls are lovely: so fluid and quality to touch/use and precise. They feel like they would last a million years. In the boot behind the flap is a complete and unused toolkit, jack and a ratchet, emergency triangle thing and various other buts and pieces and when you remove the lower flap, there's the CD autochanger and alarm gubbins and two new bottles of mineral oil.

 

On the way home, coming over Shaldon bridge was another Bentley (Arnage I think) and he waved at me! That really made me smile ;cos that hasn't happened in years.

 

The handling really is a revelation. The last one I drove, with the benefit of hindsight, I'm sure was NOT a Turbo R! It looked like one and had all the badges but it handled like a barge and didn't have any 'go'. Also, I know that there wasn't a fucking great turbo the size of a bucket mounted at the front of the engine bay and I was so naive that I fully believed it was mounted low down as on other cars. This thing corners absolutely flat. Zero roll and it doesn't pitch or lurch on the throttle or the brakes. But the best thing is, the get up and go! It absolutely flies! It also sounds quite aggressive when you boot it and I'm sure I heard the turbo spool up... but that could just be imagination!

 

Yes, I'm pissed at myself for missing the dent in the door but I will get that repaired and all the other little dents at the same time and I might have the passenger side re-sprayed as well to get rid of the poor paint prep on the doors. It is a lovely car and I am well pleased and it deserves love and attention to get the bodywork as good as the mechanicals.

 

Oh yes. When I got home there was a parking space right in front of my Honda... but it looked tight. I thought I'd give it a go as I'd only hit my own car. Now, I'm totally used to my parking sensors and stuff and I cannot see the back of the car but it went in fine. It dwarves the Honda and the Saxo in front looks like a bit has fallen off!

[trigger]

What a fantastic car, If that doesn't make the neighbours curtains twitch then i don't know what would!.

 

Shotgun a ride at Shitefest '16 etc.

[chaseracer]

Should make more than their curtains twitch... 

[xtriple]

Just been going through the service history and it was looked after by the Bentley service centre in that there London and then Broughtons of Cheltenham for donkeys years.

 

It was taken off the road in 2005 and there's receipt for the car being laid up and the wheels removed and put into storage, then another one a couple of years later for putting it back on the road.

 

Most of the bills from the official places are properly eye watering - £3000 seems to be about the mark for each one! Tyres are £350 a time and there's FOUR of them! While there are plenty of stamps in the book, the latest bills from Specialist cars are bloody missing! I shall have to make notes to the effect it's had all the new bits on it.

 

I have also phoned the tame dent man and called him a 'Scottish twat' for not answering his phone and he has not returned my call... I hope he's not got sensitive in the last couple of months!

[eddyramrod]

You utter shower.  I can't ever remember not-wanting one of these, except when they'd never existed and even then I lusted after S3 Continentals and the like. 

I hope it bankrupts you gives you many years of faithful service.

[martc]

 

It was taken off the road in 2005 and there's receipt for the car being laid up and the wheels removed and put into storage, then another one a couple of years later for putting it back on the road.

 

Was it stored at the same place as Charlie Croker's Aston Martin? Whilst the owner was "working away".

[anonymous user]

Was it stored at the same place as Charlie Croker's Aston Martin? Whilst the owner was "working away".

Shooting tigers, I believe

[chaseracer]

Was it stored at the same place as Charlie Croker's Aston Martin?

 

Dave, about that planned trip over the Alps to Italy...

 

[vulgalour]

OLD MONEY 





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