Renault Laguna: wanton destruction imminent...

[chaseracer]

Morning shiters.  Anyone know how to get into an electrically-dead Laguna 2?  Friend's idiot husband has buggered off to Egypt on business* and the rent/insurance runs out end of the month, so it needs to come off the road.  The lock is fecked too, so the "emergency key" won't work.  I've tried finessing the bonnet catch through the grille per INTERWEBZ ADVYSE, but no joy.

 

She did in fact think very seriously last night about a half-brick through a window and this remains an option, unless you fine people can suggest otherwise...

[Twiggy]

Probably a stupid suggestion, but have you tried the key in the passenger door and the tailgate/boot ???????

[Stanky]

is it in gear currently? If not, could you get dollies under the rear wheels and push it to somewhere off the queens highway?

 

obv you haven't got into it, but it would be moved to a legal location pending idiot husband's return.

[cort16]

Are the locks seized? If so Have you tried squirting wd40 into the locks? A good soaking the wiggling the key back And forth until it's free has worked for me before .

It's the lock that's seized not the door mech .

 

Failing that a 4 wheel lift onto a flat bed and straight to the crusher

[Taff]

According to the bullshit facts thread, holding the passenger side rear door handle while tapping the ariel with the back of your hand unlocks that model.

[Parky]

Half a tennis ball over the lock a la Sierra?

[Cavcraft]

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

If either of the front windows regs are buggered (do both windows power up and down?) then both palms on a door glass and dragging it down works like a charm. Getting the bonnet open and trickle charging the battery will do something.

The manual door lock is on the passenger side with the plastic cover prised off.

 

Best advice with a Lag 11 is to not actually lock it. Nobody's going to steal it anyway.

[Lacquer Peel]

Best advice with a Lag 11 is to not actually lock it. Nobody's going to steal it anyway.

 

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[wuvvum]

Yep, the only physical lock on these is on the front passenger door, and they're not the best in the world.  As suggested, WD40 or similar might free it off, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

 

Fucked window regulator might be a good call - might be worth getting one of those Poundland dent sucker things on each side window in turn and seeing whether they can be forced down enough to reach in and pop the hood.

 

Otherwise (depending on which engine it is) you might be able to jack it up at the front, get a jump lead on the starter motor cable and another on the engine block, which should wake it up.

[chaseracer]

The 1.9DCi of doom.  Hopefully, once it starts, it will run away on its own oil and DIE.

[JohnK]

Do these have a rear quarter window you can remove to stick your hand through and unlock doors?

 

I've used that trick a few times for keys locked inside cars etc ...

[wuvvum]

If I remember rightly (it's been a while, thankfully), you can't unlock these from inside without the central locking working.

[Timewaster]

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Should we call them a Laguna Aye-Aye?

 

I remember David Bellamy going on about how the Aye-Aye was almost extinct years ago

[PiperCub]

The manual door lock on the pass side (obv the drivers side on left hookers - they were too mean to convert it!) is unsurprisingly usually seized solid as it never gets used (why would you when the keycard is more convenient).

A mate has one of these heaps and the chap who services it has always advised anyone with this system to use the key a couple of times a year in order to keep it freed up so it is usable when desperately needed.

 

Can you not get the bonnet open? Or would that mean trashing the grille (if there is one) or bonnet? Try asking at an independent Ren/french car garage to see if they'd know a way of getting in. Or collar an AA/RAC johnny and ask them - they often have very clever ways of getting into vehicles as they deal with loads of lock-outs daily.

[Pillock]

I've got some fire I can lend you.

[gordonbennet]

If I remember rightly (it's been a while, thankfully), you can't unlock these from inside without the central locking working.

 

ISTR C5 being the same, always thought that would be handy design in the event of a smash up which wrenches the battery out, or even a massive electrical failure (on a Frenchy?) could see you trapped inside.

[Taff]

If I remember rightly (it's been a while, thankfully), you can't unlock these from inside without the central locking working.

 

that's a cracking bit of technical design

[PiperCub]

^ Isn't that more of an anti-theft type feature? (agreed - it aien't helping here) ie: If Charlie Chav puts the window through, unless he does a DukesOfHazzard through the window, it's going to be difficult to steal or steal from.

The deadlocking on my first Pug406 was like this.

[Pillock]

Deadlocks do that. The brochure gumpf on the Mk3 Cav devoted thirteen* pages on how the deadlocks made them unstealable. Turn key to lock, turn key again to disconnect interior knob from lock mech.

 

The difference is in a crash, you wouldn't have deadlocked it from the outside.

 

I don't know if the Laguna is a deadlock, or just crappy French thought process. But if it's parked up, it could well be ununlockable either way.

[garethj]

Otherwise (depending on which engine it is) you might be able to jack it up at the front, get a jump lead on the starter motor cable and another on the engine block, which should wake it up.

 

This is worth a try, although there's a chance you'll have to go through some elaborate reset procedure that you can only do once inside the car.

 

Have you tried phoning a dealer?  You never know your luck

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

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Grip

[Lord Sterling]

Shall I bring up the crashed-up MERCEDES OF DOOM and ram the Laguna onto the drive? Why does he always park it on the road when he has a driveway anyway?

 

In all seriousness, if you can lay your hands on some dollies or even wheeled jacks, I'm more than willing to come and lend a hand.

[chaseracer]

Try asking at an independent Ren/french car garage to see if they'd know a way of getting in. Or collar an AA/RAC johnny and ask them - they often have very clever ways of getting into vehicles as they deal with loads of lock-outs daily.

 

Top banana!  There's a Renault indy over at Four Ashes on the A449 - I'll swing over tomorrow.

[Noel Tidybeard]

+1 on the lubing the lock

[DVee8]

+1 for FIRE

[chaseracer]

+1 on the lubing the lock

 

Done this.

[chaseracer]

+1 for FIRE

 

SERIOUSLY considering this!

 

[Richard]

Best plan would be to get a door window from a breaker in advance, then break the window on this car. It's not normally that hard to change door windows, certainly easier than trying to crawl in through the air vents or something. Get the replacement window first to make sure Renault haven't found a way to make it difficult. Make sure you do the window on the same side as the bonnet release, crawling through broken glass isn't fun.

[LC Torana]

...you can't unlock these from inside without the central locking working.

Encapsulates why modern cars are more trouble than they're worth.