Please help! Car no work! Possible electric/witchcraft! Confused and scared!

[laser wheels]

For the first time in 3000 miles White Lightning - that's what I call the Sierra, 'White Lightning' - has let me down! I've been bombing around happily all day (chod spots to follow in due course) but now something really weird has happened. Jumped in to pop out and when I turn the key everything goes mad - central locking starts doing mad impression of a mad central locking humming bird by which I mean opening and shutting really really quickly, dash lights and info panel flashing on and off really quickly, too, and worst of all a really high-pitched squeal like a rape alarm or something from within the innards of the dash somewhere. The only thing that can stop it shrieking at me is to disconnect the battery.

 

Is it electrics? Is it possessed?

 

Seriously though, please help as I can't face public transport. And why did it have to happen the day I spunk £240(!) on a tax disc.

 

This is really why I need more than one car.

[Stixy]

Its possessed

 

 

Check your battery connections are tight 

 

check the battery is charged 

[rainagain]

Its possessed

 

 

Check your battery connections are tight 

 

check the battery is charged

I agree with above turn on head lamps and see if are bright. Also check earths from battery to body. 

 

When the battery was flat in my Stilo and Megane, had the same thing cars acted like they were prossessed

[laser wheels]

I made sure battery connections were nice and tight when I did them back up, so no problems there. I did think it may be the battery but could a battery just lose it's charge like that? Had only been stood a couple of hours at most.

[daveb47]

I had a Ford Anglia years ago that the battery just shat itself while i was driving,car just stopped everything totally dead.

Battery was dead,no volts at all,seems it had shorted inside,another battery and everything was fine.

[Micrashed]

Your car is indeed possessed and needs to be attached to a ducking stool and hurled into the River Ribble.

 

If it drowns then all is well and the car is pure.

 

If however it continues to scream then it is possessed by the devil and must be killed by fire.

[laser wheels]

I agree with above turn on head lamps and see if are bright. Also check earths from battery to body. 

 

When the battery was flat in my Stilo and Megane, had the same thing cars acted like they were prossessed

 

Just popped out to check. Lights are indeed very dim. Put it this way I have a pocket Mag-Lite on my key ring and they are as about as bright as that. On the plus side that horrible squealing has stopped and now it just makes a sound like a sewing machine (starter motor?) when turning the key. It basically sounds like it really wants to start but it's just not having it.

 

I've just had a thought - on a few occasions when I have tried to start it I have had a sound like metal grinding against metal. All I had to do though was remove key re-insert then it worked fine. Could there be a link?

 

Fingers crossed if it is the battery I can get a jump start from my dad when he wakes up (he's not lazy he just works nights).

[Pillock]

On Mondeos, if you try to start with a deadish battery the dials and lights go mental....

[Alexg]

Yeah, if it jumps and all is fine probably the battery's fugged

[richardmorris]

Sounds like a dead battery to me too. On xantias if you try and start them with a flat battery the rev counter can spin right round and get stuck.

[laser wheels]

If it is the battery it will be a cruel irony as just this morning I was thinking 'oh, should I pick up a battery while I'm in Euro Carparts today and the sale is on? Nah, nothing wrong with the one on there. It's fine ...'

[Grundig]

The modern battery seems to give 100% right up to the end of its life, then dies without warning - the days of coaxing extra life out of one by putting it on charge overnight & getting a few more weeks out of it have long gone 

[laser wheels]

Are Halfords batteries any good? There is one local to me but ECP will do me a Bosch for only a couple of quid more than Halfords cheapest.

[Rusty_Rocket]

Halfords batteries are very good.

Definitely find someone with a trade card though..

[twosmoke300]

As grundig says newer batteries die instantly. Even over an hour or so.

[Stixy]

The clock will make a pathetic sqealing sound with a flat battery  but when you reconnect it wont work  until you manualy start the clock  the instuctions are in the handbook  if you havent got a handbook i can send you intructions 

[sporty-shite]

All the squealing and central locking foolishness will be down to the alarm going into WTF mode, as the battery dies around it.

[purplebargeken]

Burn it!!!!

[Jim Bell]

Had similar symptoms with a duff connection on a battery earth strap. Its not that. But it could have been.

[laser wheels]

All the squealing and central locking foolishness will be down to the alarm going into WTF mode, as the battery dies around it.

 

The thing is although there is some sort of horn thing in the engine bay, as far as I was aware it wasn't actually attached to anything although it did omit a squeak when attaching the battery leads again, so maybe it isn't as dead as I thought. I suppose I could try smashing a window to see if it works...

 

The squealing it has to be said is only inside the car mind you and not outside. What Stixy was saying about the clock is spot-on and the whole 'information unit' was going bonkers.

[Bren]

Shop around.

 

Halfords is the last place I would go.

[Wilko220]

One good thing about getting a battery from Halfords is they always seem very easy-going and quibble-free if you have to take it back under the guarantee.

 

That said, I got my last one online and saved about £20 compared to what I would have paid there.

[UmBongo]

For the first time in 3000 miles White Lightning - that's what I call the Sierra, 'White Lightning' - has let me down! I've been bombing around happily all day (chod spots to follow in due course) but now something really weird has happened. Jumped in to pop out and when I turn the key everything goes mad - central locking starts doing mad impression of a mad central locking humming bird by which I mean opening and shutting really really quickly, dash lights and info panel flashing on and off really quickly, too, and worst of all a really high-pitched squeal like a rape alarm or something from within the innards of the dash somewhere. The only thing that can stop it shrieking at me is to disconnect the battery.

 

Is it electrics? Is it possessed?

 

Seriously though, please help as I can't face public transport. And why did it have to happen the day I spunk £240(!) on a tax disc.

 

This is really why I need more than one car.

 

Are you Catweazle?

[oman5]

The horn thing by the battery is probably the factory fit alarm, my granada mk3 had one. when you lock the door with the key the car is supposed to make a little tiny electronic beep noise to let you know its armed. if anyone breaks in the horn goes off.  most of them stopped working very quickly.

[Station]

You have water in the either the central locking ECU or the alarm. I've had this a couple of times on the Astra, and it doesn't the same thing.

It could be wiring that is corroded or an earthing point, but I'd check on the ECU housing being full of water.