Lies people tell you

[rml2345]

None of those work for me either Eddy...

What about, "I bought my car from Arnold Clark and get it serviced there every year. The staff are first rate and they do a really good job."

[fordperv]

Refitting is reversal of removal

[Junkman]

I think you just won the thread.

[Parky]

"Powered by Fairydust"

 

ORLY? That's what the green pump dispenses nowadays is it?

 

"It's not you, it's me"

 

ORLY? You'd best fuck off to your new bloke then!

[twosmoke300]

Your searches and surveys won't take long and you will be moved in before xmas

[HH-R]

What kind of hoover is that Beko? ^

 

I have been looking at 70s/80s Hoover Juniors on eBay now and then. I like 'em because they remind me of being a kid. For some reason I still imagine my granny's house as it was 20 years ago with 70s era vacuum cleaner, proper bakelike GPO telephone, wooden cased TV sets and various BSR record decks, all resigned to the tip now but I still ask if they're kicking about with some hope that they've been stashed away somewhere and rediscovered.

[jonathan_dyane]

Our only vacuum cleaner is a 1950s Hoover Junior in brown,,,

[beko1987]

Its a very rare early Turbopower junior sold through electricity board showrooms!

 

There's always 1334 juniors on the bay. The challenge is finding an original one. I nicked some wheels from another Turbopower so I could use it though, so its not completely hopeless!

[oman5]

I inherited my late grandmother's late '60s Hoover Junior. it's a superb bit of design I reckon and still sucks like Gillian Taylforth in a range rover (allegedly).  You can still even buy new belts for them...the guy in the shop was nonplussed when I asked for them. "oh those juniors go forever. the only time they break is if you take a hammer to them."

[stuboy]

ur op be 30 mins and 3 small holes..

 

2.5 hours and open surgery and chronic pain every day for 4 years thanks nhs.....NOT

[STUNO]

 

ur op be 30 mins and 3 small holes..

 

2.5 hours and open surgery and chronic pain every day for 4 years thanks nhs.....NOT

 

 

Exactly what happened to me,

but the pain has now gone away to just a little bit sometimes !

[stuboy]

 

 

 

Exactly what happened to me,

but the pain has now gone away to just a little bit sometimes !

 

after much investigation the chronic unit said can't help, recommendation to live on cocodamol and ibuprofen 

[beko1987]

What kind of hoover is that Beko? ^

 

I have been looking at 70s/80s Hoover Juniors on eBay now and then. I like 'em because they remind me of being a kid. For some reason I still imagine my granny's house as it was 20 years ago with 70s era vacuum cleaner, proper bakelike GPO telephone, wooden cased TV sets and various BSR record decks, all resigned to the tip now but I still ask if they're kicking about with some hope that they've been stashed away somewhere and rediscovered.

[beko1987]

I inherited my late grandmother's late '60s Hoover Junior. it's a superb bit of design I reckon and still sucks like Gillian Taylforth in a range rover (allegedly).  You can still even buy new belts for them...the guy in the shop was nonplussed when I asked for them. "oh those juniors go forever. the only time they break is if you take a hammer to them."

You could take a hammer to them and still be fine!

 

Any that are knocking around nowadays probably definatly need the motor bearings replaced, and the brushroll bearings split, cleaned and repacked. Wash the cloth bag (by hand if its genuine, dont want to loose the Hoover logo) and a new belt and it will give a Dyson a run for its money...

 

 

 

[chaseracer]

This thread is definitely in the wrong section...

[beko1987]

I'l stop. Not making a vacuum cleaner thread in off-topic though, would be the wrong forum altogether.

[chrisjvm]

"The Dyson is a technological tour de force and without  doubt the best vacuum cleaner on the market"

 

Translated as .... 'Stubborn obsessive posh bloke foists expensive overcomplicated unreliable chod on the great British public ... Which on the whole doesn't actually do what its supposed to do. And on the rare ocassion that it does,only manages to do it for 5 minutes before breaking down'

 

Oops,was trying  to get back on topic, but this now looks like it should be in the 'Grumpy old man' thread.

[Junkman]

Trust me, I'm from the government, and I'm here to help you.

[beko1987]

I can't wait to get one of those 'no filters' machine for a tenner in a few years and prove why filters are a good idea, especially when cyclones don't retain all the shit they can take.

 

A lie - Bags are the devil...their not!

[jakebullet]

"I used to be a mechanic & your starter motor's gone" - Idiot bloke across road from my sister, who then proceeded to bray the hell out of it with a hammer.

 

I then fixed it by applying jump leads. You'd think a mechanic would know what a flat battery sounds like.

[Lacquer Peel]

"K seal was invented for K series engines."

[spike60]

On giving directions "and you can't miss it"

[brickwall]

It'll only take  20 mins...

[Caffiend]

On asking for something perfectly logical (like the return of Honey Nut Branflakes): "There's no call for it (them)" Well, I'm bloody asking and sure I can't be the only one.

 

On complaining - reasonably - about ridiculous stuff (like teabags having four - yes FOUR - layers of packaging): "That's what our customers prefer." This one doesn't ... oh, OK, maybe you have a point as I'm not a customer any more: love the tea, create enough consumer waste as it is and have to draw the line somewhere though.

 

And the best three-in-one: "We're sorry* that you were disappointed in ... " (FUCKING SORT IT OUT THEN) "... we can assure you that this has never happened before ..." (in the last 15 minutes maybe) "... we take all our customer concerns very seriously ..." (by studiously ignoring them) - etc.

 

*Working for the NHS I have got around this one quite nicely. I only say "sorry" if I really mean it. If the apology is written under duress (i.e. the patient is an unreasonable, overburdened-with-sense-of-entitlement, whining twat or a solicitor is throwing their weight around/trying it on with demands for staff to provide witness statements with no supporting court order) then the recipient gets "I apologise for (the circumstances) / that (organisation) is unable to oblige with your request ..." It only makes a difference in my head, it works though ;P

[chaseracer]

I only say "sorry" if I really mean it. If the apology is written under duress (i.e. the patient is an unreasonable, overburdened-with-sense-of-entitlement, whining twat or a solicitor is throwing their weight around/trying it on with demands for staff to provide witness statements with no supporting court order) then the recipient gets "I apologise for (the circumstances) / that (organisation) is unable to oblige with your request ..." It only makes a difference in my head, it works though ;P

 

I had to do this once after being banned from entering a particular academy, following my invitation to a spectacularly and serially irritating hearing chair to "stop pissing about and get on with it*" on his sixth time of asking the same question to which he'd had five identical answers.

 

The look on my boss's face when I got back to the office told me everything, electronic communications travelling faster than a diseasel Blingo.  Yes, he was also failing to not piss himself laughing and rapidly approved my very careful wording of the requested apology.

 

Clearly, I was unforgivably unprofessional* but, looking back, I think this was the tipping point for me in deciding to leave that employment...

[castros_bro]

 

Consider it sold

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LocationStockport, England

 

Posted 11 March 2014 - 06:13 PM