Weirdest people you've sold a car to

[fordperv]

I once sold a J-reg Proton to Mohammed Ali. No lies.

That explains where the k and j reg protons have gone, Mohammed Ali has them all in his personal collection

[Bobthebeard]

Entertaining thread.

More weirdo stories please!

I once heard of a bloke who liked hearing about weirdo car stories on the Internet.

Weirdo.

[Bobthebeard]

That explains where the k and j reg protons have gone, Mohammed Ali has them all in his personal collection

Rumour has it that he has an extensive collection of Fiat Strada parts also. Especially Mk1

[trigger]

Ali Says "You touch my Proton, I knock you down".

 

[rml2345]

I once sold a knackered Rover 75 diesel with no clutch hydraulics (or tax, or MOT) to a professional Yorkshiremen who turned up with the smallest towing dolly I've ever seen. He paid cash and then drove off without either the keys or trailer board lights.

I heard later on he went to the shops in it.

I've also sold a car to cms206...

[Bobthebeard]

This thread is precisely what makes Autoshite 'the greatest'!

IMHO

Apologies to the OP, but that's how it rolls* on here!

 

Edit.

'Professional Yorkshireman, later on he went to the shops in it...'

ROFL

[NorfolkNWeigh]

I once sold a twin plenum Vitesse to three lads,none of whom looked old enough to drive,that came on the bus. I was about to tell them to do one,when one of them put £5,000 I'm my hand and said if it does 150 we'll have it .

One quick demonstration( thank god for dodgy Rover speedo's)) where from the passenger seat he saw nearly 160 and the deal was done.

I didn't see anything in the papers about any SD1/bus queue interfaces and it must have survived because about 10 years later I saw a picture of it in a classic mag at a show.

[autofive]

well if we are including buying stories.......

 

I went to look at a 4-door 1600 mk3 cortina in about 1986/7 in a baaaaaad part of town. Took my mate with me, and gave him the cash to hold. seller wanted 225 for it. i knocked on the door, bloke says its round the back in the alley, you will have to walk round, heres the key i ll bring out a cup of tea for you.

 

so we set off to the top of the road to get to the back alley. just before we got to the top of the road a van full of plod passed us. went into the alley had a good look around the car, started it up looked underneath etc etc. all was good for 200ish quid and i was going to buy it but wheres my cup of tea? after about 20 miuntes still no sign of him. we locked up the car and headed around to the front again. Front door is all caved in and theres a copper standing in front of it. copper wants to know what i want at this door, so i tell him and just then cortina owner appears handcuffed and gets shoved in the van. Hes been busted while we have have been around in the back alley.

 

i went round the next day with the cortina keys, did the deal and bought it for 190

[Micrashed]

I once sold a J-reg Proton to Mohammed Ali. No lies.

I once bought Paul O'Gradys VW Polo (Formel E) but he wasnt strange.

[cms206]

I once sold a knackered Rover 75 diesel with no clutch hydraulics (or tax, or MOT) to a professional Yorkshiremen who turned up with the smallest towing dolly I've ever seen. He paid cash and then drove off without either the keys or trailer board lights.

I heard later on he went to the shops in it.

I've also sold a car to cms206...

 

My former boss bollocked me for telling him it wouldn't drive...

 

I did indeed buy a car from rml245 and it was the single biggest pile of rotten, unco-operative pile of crud ever. Naturally I miss it dearly.

 

 

Also you fuckers all think I'm joking, go ask Professor Proton over on OJC (se-something or other he goes by) what his name is... !

[Cavcraft]

I had those horrible attempted child buying solicitor and his wife wankers Alan and Judith Kilshaw round once. They'd come to see a shit Seat Ibiza 'System Porsche' thing I was flogging for £225.

Both as effing oddball as they were on telly.They tried to chip me down so I responded by asking the horrible cow if that was a real fur coat she was wearing, which she confirmed it was. That was never going to do the fat cow any favours in my eyes, so I think I only offered to knock a five spot off the price.

 

They agreed then did that 'come back later with the money' thing and never did. Part of me was gutted because I wanted to fuck the car up somehow so it knackered up on them, and part of was glad that I probably would never see them again. Which I didn't.

 

I've had a few odd car buyers besides them, I'll add to thread again later if anyone's arsed.

[Cavcraft]

I once sold a knackered Rover 75 diesel to a professional Yorkshiremen

I've also sold a car to cms206...

 

How did you tell them apart?

[Bobthebeard]

I had those horrible attempted child buying solicitor and his wife wankers Alan and Judith Kilshaw round once. They'd come to see a shit Seat Ibiza 'System Porsche' thing I was flogging for £225.

Both as effing oddball as they were on telly.They tried to chip me down so I responded by asking the horrible cow if that was a real fur coat she was wearing, which she confirmed it was. That was never going to do the fat cow any favours in my eyes, so I think I only offered to knock a five spot off the price.

 

They agreed then did that 'come back later with the money' thing and never did. Part of me was gutted because I wanted to fuck the car up somehow so it knackered up on them, and part of was glad that I probably would never see them again. Which I didn't.

 

I've had a few odd car buyers besides them, I'll add to thread again later if anyone's arsed.

Eh? Who or what are/is the Kilshaws?

Forgive my ignorance!

[Cavcraft]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/1264607.stm

[overrun]

dont remember his name. he came from the midlands, but he did have a mate with him

The lad I'm thinking of, is from Sunderland.

 

He lost his leg by smashing his Daihatsu Charade into a tree.

Pretty Autoshite!

[Bobthebeard]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/1264607.stm

Ahh. Thanks.

All is now clear!

[Faker]

Before I bought the S3 I had an imprezza turbo in silver. Full dealer service history, full mot, 4x new tyres, and in very good order. I advertised it in the local rag for a reasonable price and had loads of calls. First fella came out and looked it over, took it for a skelp, and really liked it. One complaint. " I really want a blue one, so I'll pass". Why the fuck do people do this shite?! Showed him the history, walked him round the thing, took him for a spin to get it up to temp, then let him have a blast. Only for the fucker to say " I'll pass"! I felt like slugging him the time wasting twat!! The second fella arrived in a chaved up Astra with a team of heavies. I was kind of worried when dealing with them (looked a but rough) as they were a bit intimidating with out going into detail. Anyway, same story as before, showed the docs, then the car, then went for a spin. Before I let him have a drive I asked for his insurance should the shit hit the fan, which he provided. I then asked him nicely not to cut the shit out of it as it was still mine. No problem mate he said. Took it for a spin and headed back to mine. At this stage I was expecting to be hammered into the ground and the car taken!! But no, little bit of haggling and the deal was done. Cash in his back pocket. Paid then and there and away he went in his new purchase. I was genuinely surprised. Not much of a story though!

[panhard65]

I sold a Fiat 508c to a bloke who rang me up saying he wanted to buy it and would be leaving L.A that day to see it. He turned up next day pulled the full asking price out of his sock and asked me to deliver it to the docks so he could ship it to Israel. I have had quite a few unusual ones a German guy who flew over to buy a P4 Rover then proceeded to drive it back home. He had a bit of a moment in Belgium in the fog but got home in the end. I had another guy used a buy it now on my simca aronde. When I checked he was registered in the U.S so I thought he was a timewaster until his agent rang up to collect it. He told me to google the guy who bought it, turns out this bloke was business partners with Donald Trump and owned a museum in L.A. It's surprising how many multi millionaires will try and chip you on price.

[explosive-cabbage]

I'm currently sat on a pile of rockwool in a drafty half-un built house in Durham, I've been waiting an hour for the seller to find the logbook....

[Junkman]

I wouldn't call them weird (weird I am myself), but highly unlikely.

I once sold a 1984 Oldsmobile Custom Cruiser complete with woodgrain decal sheet and everything to an elderly couple from Wilhelmshaven, who looked like Miss Marple and Mr. Stringer in the old Margaret Rutherford/Stringer Davis films. Like the folks who would buy something truly giffer spec or something. Turned out they had a small factory for sweets, not unlike Blackpool Rock, and they needed a roomy car for making deliveries throughout Germany. They always chose yanks for this, since back then those were pretty much the only affordable cars with Aircon, which was required to avoid the sweets melting in Summer. They brought us a shoe carton sized box of their wares as a gift when they picked up the car.

 

That brown Mercury Cougar I had went to Statler and Waldorf, I'm not lying.

[Negative Creep]

I sold a Fiat 508c to a bloke who rang me up saying he wanted to buy it and would be leaving L.A that day to see it. He turned up next day pulled the full asking price out of his sock and asked me to deliver it to the docks so he could ship it to Israel. I have had quite a few unusual ones a German guy who flew over to buy a P4 Rover then proceeded to drive it back home. He had a bit of a moment in Belgium in the fog but got home in the end. I had another guy used a buy it now on my simca aronde. When I checked he was registered in the U.S so I thought he was a timewaster until his agent rang up to collect it. He told me to google the guy who bought it, turns out this bloke was business partners with Donald Trump and owned a museum in L.A. It's surprising how many multi millionaires will try and chip you on price.

 

 

I guess you don't become a millionaire by being liberal with cash! I once sold a car to a professional Steve Irwin tribute act/ He didn't look much like him ,but was a nice enough guy so that's where the story ends

[vulgalour]

Dollywobbler sold me a BX.  We're both pretty weird.

[wuvvum]

Also, back in those days I had no idea of the sophisticated*  "buy it on PayPal then lie to ebay that you never got the car" scam.

I didn't think that scam worked for cars?  I'm sure I remember reading in the eBay / Paypal T&C's that the "automatic refund if you claim item not received" policy which seems to be in place for most eBay purchases doesn't apply to transactions in the "vehicles" category?

 

I've had a few oddball buyers over the years, but three stick in my mind.

 

The first was the German chap who bought my first Range Rover.  It was a satin-black X-plate 3-door, fitted with an ex-LDV 2.5-litre Peugeot turbo diesel and the original 4-speed manual 'box.  It had been stood for several years when I bought it - it had been a restoration project for the chap I'd bought it off, and he'd done all the welding (so it was solid as a rock) but then run out of steam.  So it drove, but had no T&T, and the longest journey it'd done was the 15 miles from the seller's house to mine when I bought it.  I was a lot younger then and my license was a lot dirtier, and I didn't have a trader's policy in those days either, so being a "modified vehicle" I couldn't get anything resembling a sensible insurance quote.  So I gave up and stuck it on the 'Bay.

 

German chap bids and wins, gets in contact straight away to say he'll be over the following week to collect it.  He tells me he's ordered an A-frame off eBay which he's going to have delivered to mine.  The A-frame actually turned up on the same day he did, and the courier was just about to give up and drive off when I got home from work, so that was a close one.  Anyway, the reason he wanted an A-frame was that he'd bought an ex-military 109 Landy from somewhere in north Norfolk, and he was going to tow the Landy back to Germany behind the Range Rover.  He turned up at mine at about 1am one night, having got an Easyjet flight to Stansted and then the bus from there.  He paid up and jumped in the Range Rover and that's the last I heard from him - although he did manage to get a speeding ticket on the A140 - must've been the steep downhill stretch just before the A14 as the Rangie would barely break 60 on the flat on its own, let alone with two tonnes of Series III tagging along behind it.

 

Next one was the Commer Walkthrough burger van.  Again, no T&T, and a chap from Cornwall was the high bidder.  He got the train up, got into Norwich station just before 1am on a Friday evening.  He'd brought a mate with him - when I pointed out that the van only had one seat, he wasn't at all worried - he said that one of them would drive and the other would lay down in the back and have a kip.

 

I made lifelong friends out of all the people living near my storage facility when I fired up the Perkins 4.236 at 1am and then did a 15-point turn to get the van out (narrow cul-de-sac and no PAS).  Again, money changed hands and in they jumped, setting off to do 400 miles in a 30-odd-year-old van with no T&T and a top speed of 48mph.  Again, never heard anything back, although they must have made it as I saw the van for sale again in Cornwall a while later.

 

The last one was the chap who bought the Xedos 9 a few weeks ago.  He was half Nigerian and half Ghanaian as it turned out, and I didn't hold high hopes when he first won the auction.  He was based in Manchester, and Manchester to Norwich is a long way to come for a sub-£500 car (just ask Wat...).  His initial email contact didn't inspire confidence either - here's an extract:

 

"Hi,

I will like to use this opportunity to introduce myself to you as the original

winner of the auction of the 2000 mazda xedox 9 2.3 miller auto green car.

Infact, i will personally as well use the same opportunity to say thank you

very much for the advert. I really appreciate you for advertised the car on

ebay before i win it. Once again, thank you very much. Here is my contact

detail ; 07533XXXXXX. I will try my best possible to talk to you this morning."

 

I was genuinely expecting him to contact me later and say that he wanted to pay me £10,000 by cheque, of which I was to take the cost of the car and then send the rest to his agent in Nigeria via Western Union.  As it turned out, he came down on the bus from Manchester on Bank Holiday Monday, paid the asking price in cash and filled in the logbook, then got back on the bus and buggered off again (he didn't have a driving license).  The transporter came for the car last night - in the meantime the chap had bought two generators from the Norwich area which he'd asked me to pick up for him and stick in the back of the car.  I believe car plus generators will be on a boat to Lagos in the near future.

[Albert Ross]

I almost bought a Rover 2600 SD1 in Nottingham off a chap called Malcom Campbell... I think he was a distant relative, as he had a thing for Red Stripe, ackees, chicken, rice, peas, and dreadlocks. It went like merry fuck though... he picked me up in it, and it was when I got to his house that I noticed the inner wings. They were on the floor near the dustbin, all swept into a neat pile... His Mrs did a MEAN curry though. We stayed in touch for a number of years. He was a proper fruitbat.

[cort16]

One of the stranger ones I had was with an Audi 80 coupe I was selling with no brakes. the pipes had crumbled during the mot and the handbrake cable had also chucked it so when I say no brakes I mean NO brakes. Anyway a deal was done over the phone and the guy arranged to come down from Glasgow (30 miles) and get that night. He knocks on the door and he's got a transit but no trailer or aframe.

 

I reminded him about the brakes and enquired how the fuck he intended to get back to Glasgow. Oh he replies, I'm going to tie a rope to to the front of the transit and connect it to the back of the Audi and use the transit for the brakes. Okay bye then good luck!

[Negative Creep]

I didn't think that scam worked for cars?  I'm sure I remember reading in the eBay / Paypal T&C's that the "automatic refund if you claim item not received" policy which seems to be in place for most eBay purchases doesn't apply to transactions in the "vehicles" category?

 

 

Make sure there isn't enough money in your account to pay back Paypal. Ebay payment goes through, you drive the car off into the sunset, seller gets an email a few days later form Paypal saying it bounced and they'll be recovering the funds from their account

[sporty-shite]

Well there was the old mini that Mrs S had a good few years ago. Local bloke and his considerably younger girlfriend came to look at it, and did a deal subject to me delivering it and getting a lift home. Fair enough, off we set. Got to his house, sorted the deal, but couldn't help wondering why there was a shitload of film and photography gear in his front room. Turns out he was a "director" of "specialist" films, starring his girlfriend. Couple of months later, he was on the front page of the local rag. Just been sent down for living off immoral earnings. 

 

The only other one of note was the 635 I bought off Pete M. Smoked around in it for a while until I realised I was playing Russian Roulette with my licence.Advertised it on C&C, and had an enquiry from a bloke from Luxembourg, asking if I'd be willing to deliver. Told him no, as it just seemed to much potential hassle. Listed it on the bay, and the same guy won it. He got straight in touch, and flew into Manchester the following weekend. Paid cash, jumped in it, and drove away. Phoned me up a couple of days later to thank me for the car, and tell me he got back ok. Turns out, he only bought it for the interior! Nutter!

[Cavcraft]

Paypal don't refund for vehicles. The reason I know this is actually related to this thread, but that story I for late/tomorrow.

 

Another really, really odd car buyer was some tit who expressed an interest in a Primera I had years back now. He told me I MUST ring him at dead on 8.00pm on Thursday (or whatever time/day it was) so I duly did. He said 'hello' I explained I was calling back as he requested then he just said REALLY snottily 'do NOT speak to me I'm busy' then hung up.

 

I was all for calling him back on the spot and giving him loads, but my mate (who owned half the car)  talked me out of it. Anyhow the next day this dickhead is back on the blower and wants the car.

Deal done, I forgot to do my usual trick of launching the Sim card and three days later he's on the phone going absolutely mental. I'd told him I'd split up with my missus (which was true) and because she answered he started questioning her about things that didn't concern him at all. My missus (obviously) went berserk and started ringing me about it.

I called the tit back to see what the problem was and he wanted his money back for the car. I asked him why and he said he just didn't like it, there was nothing wrong with it, just he didn't like it.

A war of words ensued and he started to tell me that he was getting his money back blah, blah blah so I just laughed at him a bit, put the phone down then threw the Sim card into the River Dee to join the countless others that went before it.

[cort16]

I had another Audi 80 coupe I'd smoked around in for a bit and was sitting outside not doing much. My Mrs was starting to get annoyed about it being in the way plus the garden was a shit tip and I was getting the old 'why are you wasting money on these shit cars when we need stuff for the house speech'.

One day I get a chap on the door and the guy says he's doing next doors garden and spotted the Audi and would i sell it? He then says how about 400 quid and I'll sort out you're garden? I paid 600 or something for it. The garden was full of bits if concrete, gravel and all kinds of shite. Deal done he steams in with the mini digger,clears it, new turf and relays the slabs.

The Mrs comes home and the car was gone, I had 400 quid cash and the garden was sorted. 200000000 points plus extra credits.

[sporty-shite]

I had another Audi 80 coupe I'd smoked around in for a bit and was sitting outside not doing much. My Mrs was starting to get annoyed about it being in the way plus the garden was a shit tip and I was getting the old 'why are you wasting money on these shit cars when we need stuff for the house speech'.

One day I get a chap on the door and the guy says he's doing next doors garden and spotted the Audi and would i sell it? He then says how about 400 quid and I'll sort out you're garden? I paid 600 or something for it. The garden was full of bits if concrete, gravel and all kinds of shite. Deal done he steams in with the mini digger,clears it, new turf and relays the slabs.

The Mrs comes home and the car was gone, I had 400 quid cash and the garden was sorted. 200000000 points plus extra credits.

 

THAT, is a mega-result. Top marks.