Woollarding

[cms206]

I am reminded of the wise prophet Dylan Moran, who said "German is a horrible language. It sounds like typewriters wrapped in tinfoil being kicked down stairs".

 

Bizarrely my one and only attempt at German came about after I blocked a dunny in a service station about 50kms from the Czech Republic with the most ferocious length of faecal cable I've ever laid. My attempt was to try to apologise to the cleaner, who saw the toalie rise like a phoenix from the pan, went berzerk, and followed me through the service station and into the car park before attempting to beat up my Fiesta Courier, all whilst shouting something about shizen.

 

True story.

[Junkman]

And?

Have you woollarded that Fezza van or not?

[stormee]

Jo, so ist es halt. Und ich weiss auch. dass was wir als die Wahrheit bezeichnen möchten, auch von Propaganda geprägt ist... darum habe ich auch Zeitzeugenberichte von Wehrmachtsoldaten gelesen. Die Wahrheit liegt wohl irgendwo mittendrin. Unbestreitbar ist, dass - wie auch bei uns - die meisten von euren Jungs gar nicht zum Militär wollten, aber trotzdem tapfer gekämpft haben. Scheiss-Politiker, halt. Wer möchte letztendlich in einen Krieg ziehen?

 

 

Ja. Und die Alliierten hatten auch zum Ende hin keinen Bock mehr, unsere Städte kaputtzuschießen. Der Krieg wurde zum Großteil auf Kosten von Unschuldigen ausgetragen. Aber die Leute hatten gar keine Wahl, wer sich den Linken oder 'Kommunisten' anschloß wurde bestraft. Das Volk an sich nämlich war zum Großteil überhaupt nicht kriegsfreundlich und erst recht nicht fremdenfeindlich.

[John F]

Ja. Und die Alliierten hatten auch zum Ende hin keinen Bock mehr, unsere Städte kaputtzuschießen. Der Krieg wurde zum Großteil auf Kosten von Unschuldigen ausgetragen. Aber die Leute hatten gar keine Wahl, wer sich den Linken oder 'Kommunisten' anschloß wurde bestraft. Das Volk an sich nämlich war zum Großteil überhaupt nicht kriegsfreundlich und erst recht nicht fremdenfeindlich.

 

Das waren beschissene Zeiten... bin froh, dass sie schon lange her sind. Tut mir Leid, dass ich das Thema erwähnt habe. OK, zurück zum originalen Thema...Woollarding... wir haben's erfunden, nicht euch. Ihr dürft es aber auch tun, wenn ihr zugibt, dass wir das bessere Frühstück haben

[Guest The Reverend Blue Jeans]

Eine Volk, Eine Reich, Eine Woollard - mit beige hosen.......sehr beige.

[Junkman]

Kraft durch Woollarding!

[stormee]

Das waren beschissene Zeiten... bin froh, dass sie schon lange her sind. Tut mir Leid, dass ich das Thema erwähnt habe. OK, zurück zum originalen Thema...Woollarding... wir haben's erfunden, nicht euch. Ihr dürft es aber auch tun, wenn ihr zugibt, dass wir das bessere Frühstück haben

Besser Ihr habt es erfunden als die Schweizer... Ja, Frühstück. Mittags um 1 esse ich auch Euer Frühstück, vorher geht eh nur Kaffee.

Woollarding probiere ich, nachdem mein Auto wieder TÃœV hat.

I'M going to try Woollarding after my BMW's passing TÃœV.

[Wilko220]

... and my all time favourite Goffey clip here - dealing with dullards, at what appears to be the Autoshite Test Track...

 

 

Just got around to watching this. Fantastic!

[stormee]

Just got around to watching this. Fantastic!

Nice. But no 2.8i Ghias involved, just 2.3 GL. Granny II facelift with the nice newer velours after all, like those.

[dollywobbler]

Fair play to The Goff. Possibly the most difficult people to interview ever. I like the way he has to cram all the useful information into his questions as he gets sod all back as an answer!

 

You can just imagine him getting home afterwards. "What a fuggin' show of shit that day was. Danny - stop with the fuggin' drumming!"

 

I'm sure he spoke just like that. Note clever reference to future Supergrass skin beater.

[trigger]

I just love the way he keeps looking at the camera with that puzzled expression on his face!

[Wilko220]

cms206's clip prompted me to do some Goffey-surfing on YouTube.

 

H-REG PROTON !!!!!!!!111!!11!1!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FsPYvD9EP3M

Much hilarity when he finds the boot of the press car has flooded.

 

And here's the new Rover Metro vs the new Fiat Uno

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qL6LhZDAI6w

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Flipping heck I used to LOVE top gear, it was properly the highlight of the TV week when I was 10 or whatever.

[dollywobbler]

I have a memory of when I was about seven or eight. It was absolutely pouring down and my mother and I were hiding from the rain in a shop on the mean streets of Bearwood. A then-new Jaguar XJ40 pulls up and the bloke legs it for cover. Inspired by Woollard's comments on a recent issue of Top Gear, I asked my mother: "Is he abandoning his car because the single wiper is struggling to cope with the rain?"

 

Do kids watch such factual stuff on telly these days? I couldn't get enough of it, though I look back and find that old Top Gear is incredibly tedious. Top Gear and Knight Rider were pretty much what I lived for when I was a nipper. Watching The Hoff get outacted by a car. Brilliant.

[HMC]

One key aspect of woollarding largely overlooked is the 'sports casual' clothing that underpins the technique

 

Goffey does give him a run for his money in that department

[ifc63]

One key aspect of woollarding largely overlooked is the 'sports casual' clothing that underpins the technique

 

Goffey does give him a run for his money in that department

 

 

I've been wanting to do a spot of 'Woollarding' for ages but never found the opportunity.

Until today !!!

I realised that I've reached that age where I am subconsciously dressing myself in 'sports casual' beige/grey clothing.

I'd popped round to a mate's house today and realised I still had the camera in the car from the Knebworth House car show on Monday.

He thought it was a strange request but took the photo for me

 

[mouseflakes]

Not bad - clothing could be a bit more brown/blue perhaps? Stance is good - maybe lean a little more towards the engine bay, for added impact? But I'm nit-picking - I think it's a good 'un.

[RedSparrow]

Pretty good, 8/10 I'd say.

[barefoot]

I'm marking it down a bit because the car looks a tiny bit interesting.

[RedSparrow]

Yes, good point. It should be a base Montego or something similar.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Certainly got the 'earnest' look nailed there, docked one point for not looking into the camera but overall 8/10 ROBUST EFFORT

[RedSparrow]

Wilson and Woolard briefly talk about Woolarding here:

http://youtu.be/l9DWJ8NnksQ?t=2m49s

Look at him lounging over that Lancia!

[John F]

^ statutory rape, I reckon. Operation Yewtree will be interviewing him soon.

[Guest Tony Hayers]

Christmas bump

 

 

 

 

Bonnet not lifted for K SERIES FAILURE OMG. And I know my beard is shit, deal with it.

[Lord Sterling]

Lol ^^ You look like a character off Trumpton.

[brickwall]

[Grundig]

 

Grundig Jnr, Woollarding 

[Sloth in a bowl]

I am reminded of the wise prophet Dylan Moran, who said "German is a horrible language. It sounds like typewriters wrapped in tinfoil being kicked down stairs".

 

Bizarrely my one and only attempt at German came about after I blocked a dunny in a service station about 50kms from the Czech Republic with the most ferocious length of faecal cable I've ever laid. My attempt was to try to apologise to the cleaner, who saw the toalie rise like a phoenix from the pan, went berzerk, and followed me through the service station and into the car park before attempting to beat up my Fiesta Courier, all whilst shouting something about shizen.

 

True story.

Thanks for that, I've just PMSL in the middle of an open plan office.

[tooSavvy]

X2 + Gr9.....

 

I have just tried to read this out loud to swmbo... and cried - totally incapable of speech

 

Cable...... don't get me started again SolidGold m8

 

 

TS

[pshome]

Am i late to the game?  Anyway, today i did  my first attempt.

 

 

Please vote cinq sur cinq!

One for the location, one for the car, one for the car in the right color, one for the Gendarme and one for consistently ignoring the honking french drivers behind me.

 

Why did these guys stare at me?

 

Two extra points for the free parking space right there.