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New Photography company!

DodgyBastard

By DodgyBastard
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DodgyBastard Rank: Lancia Gamma

DodgyBastard

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Introducing a brand new photography company coming soon to an event near you. We promise to deliver the sh!ttest photography skills, editing and watermarks!

 

Prints can be bought for as little as £100 per photo!!!!

 

Bookings can be made by emailing [email protected]

 

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http://www.facebook.com/Retroshite

 

 

*Please note, I made this as an April fools pisstake and posted it on the blue forum only for it to be locked by one of the mods.

Really it's just a reaction to all of the automotive photography pages popping up with people claiming to have skills but only really have a dslr and a shitty watermark.

fotorabia Rank: Renault 16

fotorabia

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Dang..and i was just about to apply to be a freelance partner....

cort16 Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

cort16

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Have you any in negative black and white m8?

 

This is my old Cortina. Did you take it recently?

 

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DodgyBastard Rank: Lancia Gamma

DodgyBastard

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The photo of your cortina was taken at the weekend, It's up for sale for £1600. Do you want the number ?

DodgyBastard Rank: Lancia Gamma

DodgyBastard

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Dang..and i was just about to apply to be a freelance partner....

 

Now that you're in Scotland you can get out and take some pics of rusty shite!

cort16 Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

cort16

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The photo of your cortina was taken at the weekend, It's up for sale for £1600. Do you want the number ?

 

LALALALALA I'm not listening.

fotorabia Rank: Renault 16

fotorabia

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Dang..and i was just about to apply to be a freelance partner....

 

Now that you're in Scotland you can get out and take some pics of rusty shite!

 

Ive already begun....just to let management know that the expense acc. on bacon rolls is already at 5quid...and that my Mums Skoda Fabia is currently getting 70mpg..so when I finally bill you..it wont be excessive... :D

HillmanImp Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

HillmanImp

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*Please note, I made this as an April fools pisstake and posted it on the blue forum only for it to be locked by one of the mods.

Really it's just a reaction to all of the automotive photography pages popping up with people claiming to have skills but only really have a dslr and a shitty watermark.

 

I ♥ this idea. Good work.

Spiny Norman Rank: Lancia Gamma

Spiny Norman

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Love the response it brought from The Management over there! :lol:

Conrad D. Conelrad Rank: Lancia Gamma

Conrad D. Conelrad

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The artificial shallow depth of field is great, and the watermarks :lol:

carlo Rank: Renault 16

carlo

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I like this thread.

 

Have stopped buying all the Classic car magazines now 'cos of the tedious HDR photography in every one.

DodgyBastard Rank: Lancia Gamma

DodgyBastard

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Luckily for you I hate hdr so much I've not thought about learning how it's done, Here's some shite photos from today!

 

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And here's that phone number for you...

 

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Mr_Bo11ox Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Mr_Bo11ox

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That guy on the blue forum seems to be about the only one who did not pick up on the joke!

 

Quality - I know jack about photography but I can spot these half-arsed photographers a mile off, I reckon its a sideline for many a scene ho'.

RedSparrow Rank: Renault 16

RedSparrow

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At least 50% of the females I'm 'friends' with on facebook claim to be photographers.

A frigging monkey can take great shots using modern equipment.

 

So basically the word photographer can now be re defined as 'owns a camera'.

Spiny Norman Rank: Lancia Gamma

Spiny Norman

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At least 50% of the females I'm 'friends' with on facebook claim to be photographers.

A frigging monkey can take great shots using modern equipment.

 

So basically the word photographer can now be re defined as 'owns a camera'.

 

Does annoy me a bit, this. :evil:

I used to be a "real" photographer back in the days of film cameras. I could work a Hasselblad and everything. I even pretended to understand 'the zone system' :lol:

Now every fucknuget with an iphone and an instagram is Ansel fucking Adams. :roll:

 

Still, if you can't beat 'em...

CBA doing watermarks, sorry.

 

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Spiny Norman Rank: Lancia Gamma

Spiny Norman

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When you're a pro you have to whoor yourself around and do stuff that isn't exactly stretching the artistic boundaries to pay the rent.

You should see what I used to be able to do with plastic mouldings for Hoovers.... :lol:

ChinaTom Rank: Renault 16

ChinaTom

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Great gimping - love the Dyane.

 

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Then I turned it orange and got overspray all over the tyres!

 

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Such a great way to waste a cold afternoon

DodgyBastard Rank: Lancia Gamma

DodgyBastard

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If there's no talent involved in composing the image, lighting it and getting the relevant bit in focus then how do you explain the awful pictures that inhabit the ebay tat thread?

 

I'm not at all saying there aren't talented photographers out there who have a clue how to use the camera, set the scene and edit the photos. There just seems to be more shitty photographers out there who think that owning a dslr, using photoshop and creating shitty watermarks make you some kind of pro.

I enjoy going out and taking photos but I'm generally too lazy to spend time editing them and have never claimed to have any kind of photography skill.

Guest

Guest

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Suhin, I thought your post was spot on - trust the mods on the blue forum to have an inverted sense of humour. A couple of the lads at work were professional photographers in a previous life, and they thought it was hilarious too. Crack on.

 

I mean - 'Shite Photography' on April 1st? Whatever could that mean? :wink:

 

If there's no talent involved in composing the image, lighting it and getting the relevant bit in focus then how do you explain the awful pictures that inhabit the ebay tat thread?

 

I'm not at all saying there aren't talented photographers out there who have a clue how to use the camera, set the scene and edit the photos. There just seems to be more shitty photographers out there who think that owning a dslr, using photoshop and creating shitty watermarks make you some kind of pro.

I enjoy going out and taking photos but I'm generally too lazy to spend time editing them and have never claimed to have any kind of photography skill.

 

This. I am more guilty than most for abusing GIMP \ Photoshop [siggable, that].

 

However, I think it was pretty clear I was using a camera phone, and at no point did I claim I was a photographer because of my cracked copy of Photomatix and 80% transparent watermarks.

 

Also, Mike Burroughs and the Stanceworks lot can fuck right off. I still say Rusty Slammington was an insurance job.

trigger Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

trigger

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I post a lot of car photos on Flickr as you know, all I have is a nice Canon DSLR and no talent, I still can't understand all this F numbers or ISO stuff, I just set it in manual mode, make sure my little dot in the view finder is pretty much central and that the camera's set up in RAW mode then edit the photos in Photoshop when I get home.

 

I certainly don't pretend to be a photographer like most of the others on other forums, Although Instragram does give good results for a phone app.

triumph1300 Rank: Austin Maxi

triumph1300

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Where is the threadon the blue forum? Can't find it and fancied a laugh

aldo135 Rank: Citroen Ami

aldo135

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Love it Scott! Not much humour on the other side eh? HARDCORE indeed...

triumph1300 Rank: Austin Maxi

triumph1300

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Brilliant! And they locked the thread! No surprise I don't frequent that forum much nowadays. Boring old regurgitated slammed weird camber no springs rubbish

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