Cult of shite

[RedSparrow]

What would we do if we could start our own shite saving organisation?

 

From the grumpy thread:

Re: The "Grumpy Old Man/Pedant" Post feel free to add!

 

by RedSparrow » Mon Aug 20, 2012 9:35 pmMETRO 1300 BUTCHERY MUST STOP NAO.I know Im always on about this but it's going on at an alarming rate now. I think if I won the lottery I would be the person saving cars from bangering and engine rape. Something we'd all love to do.Could make a museum. Except it would be all metros and Farinas, so a bit specialised.Might need a re-think.

 

by watanbe: will co fund with my lottery millions* to include an Isuzu Piazza and Volvo 400 series Turbo section. It would be like Stondon with leaking tiles and a depressing gift shop. BUT NO ENGINE BUMMING WOULD OCCUR.Team Blitz wrote:Why not just glue dildos to the fendersCavette wrote:A bloke over the road had a White Mk1 Capri and he did the bonnet black which looked ace. I still posted dog shit through his letterbox though.watanabeRank: Renault 16 Posts: 4332Joined: Wed Jan 28, 2009 1:25 amLocation: Eating out [Vanessa's Lunchbox].Top

 

Re: The "Grumpy Old Man/Pedant" Post feel free to add!

 

by Albert Ross » Mon Aug 20, 2012 9:53 pmI would help by recovering engineless Allagros and thus bestuffed Minis and removing drivetrain shizzle, then crushing the Minis.Stormy Petrel on a stick!!Albert RossRank: Renault 16 Posts: 3313Joined: Fri Dec 01, 2006 9:54 pmLocation: DoncasterTop

 

Re: The "Grumpy Old Man/Pedant" Post feel free to add!

 

by Cavette » Mon Aug 20, 2012 10:00 pmThat really would be great fun.I'd have some of that and also still live the dream by buying the rarest/most expensive dove tail/sparrow arse/pigeon shit Golf Mk1 and entering it into a banger rally at a VW show.

[RedSparrow]

I will add joining the MGB owners club and attending every meeting in a rusty British Gas Sherpa and tutting and rolling my eyes during their talks or whatever.

[Spiny Norman]

I propose a sub-branch where we go round all the CE20LET equipped Corsas/Novas and torch the fuckers in front of their Barrys.

[Volksy]

As mentioned, Piazza's and Volvo 440/480 Turbos,

 

Sierras with that gearbox everyone seems to want,

 

VW 412/411 as these always get bummed for the engine to go in beetles.

[Volksy]

Twin Cam Fiats, although not so many left these days I guess.

[TagoraSX]

I would like to add the Audi 100 derived S4 and S6, engine raped for quattros and rally replicas.

 

And to a lesser extent the S2 Coupe and Avant which are suffering the same fate.

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

I'd turn up at a VW gathering, burn a couple of cunter vans then proceed to spend the rest of the event bragging about my immaculate Skoda Favorit.

[Angrydicky]

1.3 Marinas and Itals, raped for Morris Minors.

[John F]

Not saving, admittedly... quite the opposite, in fact: I'd buy up every Shitroen Xsarsehole Picarsehole in the country and spend the rest of my life hammering them flat with a 4 lb lump hammer.

 

I might even hammer a Saxo or two over them by way of homage to a favourite autoshite meme.

[gricer]

Boggo 1256cc Firenzas and Viva Es, turned into hideous droopsnoot replicas or Barried to fuck with Nissan 200SX engines or Ford Pinto some such. Ditto bog-standard Escort Mk2 Populars. I'd buy some horrible RS "replica" and return it to 1.1 Pop spec, complete with rubber mats, Anglia hubcaps, unchromed bumpers and one sun visor.

[John F]

Boggo 1256cc Firenzas and Viva Es, turned into hideous droopsnoot replicas or Barried to fuck with Nissan 200SX engines or Ford Pinto some such. Ditto bog-standard Escort Mk2 Populars. I'd buy some horrible RS "replica" and return it to 1.1 Pop spec, complete with rubber mats, Anglia hubcaps, unchromed bumpers and one sun visor.

 

Yes! "Min" those vehicles. Don't forget to fit a non-locking fuel cap to the Escort.

[eddyramrod]

I found a pic of just such an Escort Pop on FB last night; it might even have been among some Trigger shot at a show. It was exactly as miserable as I remember from my learner days, and should certainly be preserved and shown so the yoof of today can see what we had to put up with Way Back When. But not by me, obviously, as it's almost single-handedly responsible for my Escort indifference these days. It seems to me there's a real danger that future generations won't believe the Escort came as anything other than a Zetec-powered road warrior, just as every surviving mk1 Cortina is now a Lotus with a 5-speed box. Yeah right.

[eddyramrod]

Hold that bus! I've just seen the very disturbing thread about the EU "proposal" that will effectively outlaw any modifications (my whitewalls on the Granada may not even be safe). So we have a fine line to tread, I think. EU, of course, gets Nul Points as usual; well thought out, chaps - NOT!

[Cavcraft]

Novas or Calibras with bodykits, Lexus lights or Runcorn Bridge nailed to the boot. Owners should be dragged out of their cars at the traffic lights, beaten senseless and never be allowed to own a car again.

[Volksy]

This 'Cult' thing, is it what we'd save, or who we'd hang. I'm confuzzled.

[vulgalour]

Seems to be a bit of both.

 

I'd like to see a rule whereby you're only allowed to modify a car badly if you use and cherish a povo spec 80s mingebag motor as your daily driver, especially if you have to commute long distances. Done a ram raid on Halfords in your Saxo? Then it's going to have to be a 2 stroke Trabant for your 50 mile each way commute to the miserable cathedral of despair that is the motorway services you work at. Harsh, but fair I think.

[fordperv]

Seems to be a bit of both.

 

I'd like to see a rule whereby you're only allowed to modify a car badly if you use and cherish a povo spec 80s mingebag motor as your daily driver, especially if you have to commute long distances. Done a ram raid on Halfords in your Saxo? Then it's going to have to be a 2 stroke Trabant for your 50 mile each way commute to the miserable cathedral of despair that is the motorway services you work at. Harsh, but fair I think.

 

Oh my I would love to see the saxo/corsa owning yoffs in their Jeremy Kyle show attire be made to drive the most mingy standard old chod it could be classed as community service for driving offensive cars

[gricer]

Oh my I would love to see the saxo/corsa owning yoffs in their Jeremy Kyle show attire be made to drive the most mingy standard old chod it could be classed as community service for driving offensive cars

 

 

No, they'd be forced to work on a giant, soulless production line, where they are forced to strip all the custom bodykits, tuning parts, alloys and assorted shit off their Saxos and Corsas, and restore each car to its exact original mingebag specification. Part of the job would be to smash the body kits into tiny pieces for recyling. They'd be issued with a woefully inadequate hammer for this task.