Country Left Speechless as Phil Buys Modern Car.

[philibusmo]

There was dumbfounded confusion across all parts of the UK today as it came to light that Phil had bought a modern and desirable car.

 

Abject panic erupted in some parts of the country as owners of shitty and unloved automobiles from the eighties suddenly realised that the market for their cars had virtually evaporated.

 

“What will I do now?†squawked Russel McNuggets of Flange-on-Sea “I have this lightly festering Datsun Sunny which I planned to put on eBay this Saturday, to catch the eye of Phil when he is under the influence of alcohol the next weekend, causing him to impulsively buy it for far more than it’s worth.†He added “now I don’t know how I’m going to afford to have my wife assassinated†before running into the distance cackling manically.’

 

A Car Phil Hasn't bought

 

Local cretin Sandra Spaff loudly voiced her ill-informed opinion “I can’t believe what I just read in The Mail, that really going to affect house prices and I’m very worried about the cancer risk. I bet it’s all those bloody immigrants again.â€Â

 

Although speculation remains on what car Phil has bought, some are still holding out hope that he has bought something dismally unreliable. Professor Bumhat of Joanna Lumley College in Norks offered his opinion: “So far Phil has shown a remarkable taste for anything that breaks down allot. He has owned a Lancia and a product of British Leyland that had covered 170,000 miles, add to this the twin cam Ford Sierra and you can see a pattern of sitting on the hard shoulder quickly emerging.†After a spot of lunch he went on to say; “I should imagine a Renault of some description, or maybe a Citroen. Of course the exception to this rule was the Hyundai, but that was fucking abysmal.â€Â

 

It is not yet known to anyone but Phil exactly what has been purchased but speculations are growing with unconfirmed reports of alloy wheels and air conditioning. What-ever it is, it sure has caused a stir.

 

Tell us what you think in the comments section below.

[skattrd]

Cup holders - I bet he was tempted by the new fangled cup holders that a lot modern cars sport. I know one other person* who was drawn to moderns by these things.

 

*it may or may not have been me that has succumbed to the temptation of cup holders

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

Why go into the trouble of getting a car that actually fucking works when you can opt for the shite way of getting all the convenience of cupholders?

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/New-Car-Water ... 334wt_1186

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

Why go into the trouble of getting a car that actually fucking works when you can opt for the shite way of getting all the convenience of cupholders?

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/New-Car-Water ... 334wt_1186

[barrett]

If you ask me it's all down to the Olympics. Not the good Olympics from Rochdale. The bad Olympics with all the forren folk spending all our taxes on single mothers jumping over synchronized swimmers whilst our youth burns their own back yard down with a hoody and all the gays.

 

Is it a Vel Satis or the other one? Grenading Renner best modern car.

[barrett]

If you ask me it's all down to the Olympics. Not the good Olympics from Rochdale. The bad Olympics with all the forren folk spending all our taxes on single mothers jumping over synchronized swimmers whilst our youth burns their own back yard down with a hoody and all the gays.

 

Is it a Vel Satis or the other one? Grenading Renner best modern car.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

"Modern and desirable car", eh?

 

That narrows it down to one of the following:

• 
  [*:32vpmm1l]Renault Vel Satis
  [*:32vpmm1l]Renault Avantime
  [*:32vpmm1l]MG 6

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

"Modern and desirable car", eh?

 

That narrows it down to one of the following:

• 
  [*:32vpmm1l]Renault Vel Satis
  [*:32vpmm1l]Renault Avantime
  [*:32vpmm1l]MG 6

[garethj]

If only Diana had been in a car like this, the people's princess might still be with us today*

 

 

 

 

*From the Daily Express comments section

[garethj]

If only Diana had been in a car like this, the people's princess might still be with us today*

 

 

 

 

*From the Daily Express comments section

[John F]

"Modern and desirable car", eh?

 

Surely 'modern and desirable' is a non-sequitur as far as this webs(h)ite is concerned?

 

(unless it's a new Lada Niva, of course.)

[John F]

"Modern and desirable car", eh?

 

Surely 'modern and desirable' is a non-sequitur as far as this webs(h)ite is concerned?

 

(unless it's a new Lada Niva, of course.)

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

There's a lot of modern* and desirable* stuff being produced in China as I type....and then there's Paykan!

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

There's a lot of modern* and desirable* stuff being produced in China as I type....and then there's Paykan!

[RobT]

Is it a Rover 75? If so, well done! No more of that filfthy foreign stuff please, thank you very much.

[RobT]

Is it a Rover 75? If so, well done! No more of that filfthy foreign stuff please, thank you very much.

[cms206]

Kia Magentis? Please let it be the first Autoshite Magentis...

[cms206]

Kia Magentis? Please let it be the first Autoshite Magentis...

[Albert Ross]

Hopefully he's bought that '11' plate 406........

[Albert Ross]

Hopefully he's bought that '11' plate 406........

[Cavcraft]

Is it Wat's C4?

[Cavcraft]

Is it Wat's C4?

[rml2345]

It has to be a Ssangyong Rodius...

[rml2345]

It has to be a Ssangyong Rodius...

[Justin Case]

I think there is aclue in an earlier posting:

 

As I have just seen a car which I want more than I want my next breath, this is getting bumped to the top.

Someone must want this lovely lump of misery so I can buy something French in a weird choice of combined colours

 

 

[Justin Case]

I think there is aclue in an earlier posting:

 

As I have just seen a car which I want more than I want my next breath, this is getting bumped to the top.

Someone must want this lovely lump of misery so I can buy something French in a weird choice of combined colours

 

 

[RedSparrow]

Gonna stick my neck out and say BMW 3 series?

 

Also lol at the Daily Mail comments!

[RedSparrow]

Gonna stick my neck out and say BMW 3 series?

 

Also lol at the Daily Mail comments!

[boobydoo]

Sorry, but am I the only one to think that posting something like this on the eve of the first anniversary of the London Riots is very irresponsible and certain to incite fractious behaviour from particular 'unproductive' members of society.

 

Beggars belief really.

[boobydoo]

Sorry, but am I the only one to think that posting something like this on the eve of the first anniversary of the London Riots is very irresponsible and certain to incite fractious behaviour from particular 'unproductive' members of society.

 

Beggars belief really.