Alien abductions of shite buyers in SW London ???

[triang1]

I am seriously concerned about this.

 

I have had a number of incidents over the last 10 years that can only point to abductions at best or blood soaked mass murder on a huge scale.

 

Buyers of my shite have gone missing, presumed dead within days of them contacting me, for instance, Barry ( i always get their name luckily) told me he was definitely buying my Sierra and would be round Saturday at 10 with the cash. I waited in all day, and Sunday as well, Barry didn't turn up - has anybody seen a blood soaked body grasping £1250 in cash at the side of the road somewhere between Hammersmith and Balham?

 

I am also waiting for Steve from Croyden - he told me he had a Rover 3.5 ( in passing ) and my Volvo estate was just what he wanted for his missus and not to sell to anyone else as he would be around with the cash, no problem, by the next evening. That was four years ago and every time I hear a V8 coming up the street I run out to see if it's Steve - but he still hasn't shown up.

 

Then there's Ebay punters - Keith from east London - you bid the highest on my VW van (despite having only 2 FB you cheeky boy ) but someone must have slaughtered you in the Old Kent road because I'm still waiting for you and the cash. I tried to contact you but got no reply - were you lying dead on the bed somewhere with your fat head stoved in?

 

But the worst case was Mary - after a local ad she pitched up with her husband ( who said nowt the whole time) to buy my Golf diesel. Odd I thought, a woman in her sixties who asked no questions about the car... They wanted a test drive so I put them in the car and I drove them around for 10 minutes . "We'll have it - it's a nice car" piped up Mary but she needed to get to a cash machine to get the deposit. No problem there's one a the bottom of the road. Not good enough for Mary - she suggested I drive her to Balham High Street because "any other card machine will charge me and I need the Alliance and Leicester". So I drive them to Balham - park in the local Waitrose and wait the 5 minutes it will take them to get the cash.

 

And 5 minutes becomes 10, then 15 and after 20 minutes I lock the car, pay for a ticket and trace their steps to the ATM. Suspecting to see a bloody corpse in a nylon cagool at any minute I realise that Mary has disappeared. No sign of her between the ATM and the car park. I scan the skies for UFO's - nothing.

 

The police don't want to know - are they in on it???

[DSdriver]

I hope you are making future purchasers aware of how dangerous the streets of London are and that perhaps they should send the money on ahead in case they don't make it.

Seriously though a non refundable paypal deposit should worm out most of the people who are just looking for a free cab ride home.

[triang1]

Yep I agree - stop the mass murders anyway

 

Seriously I am fecked off with the auction format though . no-show merchants, post bid hagglers, what's your lowest price cnuts, end the auction early effers, dreamers who high bid £1m and just walk away because they know I can't even neg the drissling shits. Nobody reads the effing ad before bidding (why bother it gives them more ammo to bid you down ) very few phone first and real buyers get outbid.

 

I'm going classified Ebay with offers for the next one - ok I might loose the odd genuine high bid that's over my own estimation but at least I don't narrow myself down to one chancing fecker and flush all other bidders away. Anyone serious can make offer, come round and buy,

 

Whaddya think is this the only sensible choice?

[Cavcraft]

If you're going classified the most sensible approach (imho that is) would be to use AutoTrader instead.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

This slaughter occurs up The North as well.

 

Some tattooed sportswear clad halfwit was nipping to the cashpoint after test driving a '98 Vectra and agreeing on £750. That was 2007. The guy who was coming up on the train to buy a 318i in 2008 is MIA.

 

I was at U Pull It in York last week and they had about 40 cars outside waiting to go across the bridge of doom. All clean, 1996 onwards stuff including some 01/02 gear. They're all runners, most with MOT's that owners have just taken in to get their £150 plus quid and be rid of a problem. You can understand why as well.

[triang1]

Sorry didn't mention that I'm trying to sell a motorbike and the Autotrader equivalent, Biketrader seems to be 95% trade and at the top end too. Mines a bit of a rarity and so I need the Ebay reach and searching ability that Biketrader hasn't got, I don't trade in stuff so my last experience of Ebay was about 3 years ago with the VW Van. It seemed to attract all sorts of chancers and took me 2 goes to shift to a guy who was happy to pay the full price ( and he got a bloody good van too ).

 

I have tried all the tricks to dissuade them ( saying I won't haggle, end early, 10 feedbacks only etc) but it never seems to make any difference, I got 5 bids in the last seconds - 2 of them had feedbacks less than 10. Buy it now was a farce too with the guy pushing the button at 2am on a Sunday morning (after a night out in the pub ) 2 feedbacks and he never showed

 

I also had attempted bids from Italy, Belgium and Austria even though I said UK only.

 

No Ebay classified seems the only way to go - make offer and turn up and its yours - simples,

[triang1]

The guy who was coming up on the train to buy a 318i in 2008 is MIA.

 

Blimey , I think "Steve" was coming by train too...is a pattern emerging here? Murder on the Orient Express and all that???

[CortinaDave]

Yeah the guy from montrose who was "desperate" to buy my Orion last month and asked me to hold it for an hour so he could get here... I can only assume was abducted by aliens, and is currently on planet zorg being operated on by little green men while crying himself to sleep that he cant pick up the car he so badly wanted.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Yeah the guy from montrose who was "desperate" to buy my Orion last month and asked me to hold it for an hour so he could get here... I can only assume was abducted by aliens, and is currently on planet zorg being operated on by little green men while crying himself to sleep that he cant pick up the car he so badly wanted.

 

Actually, the planet isn't Zorg but Cretos, part of the Timus Wastos solar system.

[Micrashed]

If you're going classified the most sensible approach (imho that is) would be to use AutoTrader instead.

I dunno, I have sold via ebay a few cars and motorbikes (and recently push bike) off the bay if that makes sense. I find eBay seems to have a wider audience of (mongs admittedly) people than Autotrader and its worth the invariable tirade of abusive messages demanding to know where said item is because they were going to bid at the last minute, to get a sale and cash in hand off the one genuine buyer out there.

[Cavcraft]

Oh aye, horses for courses and all that. I have found as a rule that although the number of 'hits' and enquiries on AT are considerably less than eBay, the ratio of genuine people to two bob cock rockets definately favours AT.

[meshking]

I'm currently going through the pain of selling two cars. Both classified ads with best offer on ebay. What I didn't realise is (and it seems most buyers don't either) that if you accept their offer via the correct channel, then your ad is ended. However, of course, the buyer has no requirement to complete the deal.

 

I've had stupid offers on my Peugeot because, I think, people other than traders looking for a bargain don't look past the first two pages of adverts. 28 day listing, and for 20 of those days you just get offers of way under book trade in price. I had one sensible bid, but the buyer couldn't get a loan. So the listing ended and I had to spend a while on the phone to Ebay to get my money back. Relisted now, so another 20 days left until I potentially get a decent sniff at a sale.

[skattrd]

If you're going classified the most sensible approach (imho that is) would be to use AutoTrader instead.

 

I did consider AutoTrader a while ago, but last time I checked it was quite expensive, around £35 to post an ad on there, ebay classified is £15? Although its prob worth the extra £20 or whatever if it gets a car sold.

I've had reasonable success with Pistonheads recently (despite them now charging £10 for an advert). My SVX, XT and Thema all sold through Pistonheads ... however I wouldn't bother listing a run of the mill focus or whatever on there.

[triang1]

What I didn't realise is (and it seems most buyers don't either) that if you accept their offer via the correct channel, then your ad is ended. However, of course, the buyer has no requirement to complete the deal.

 

I didn't realise that either until the lowlife pushed the BIN button (at 2am on a Sunday morning - probably pissed ) less than 24hrs into the sale and flushed my genuine buyers away. Luckily I got my money back and got a decent price from a decent guy 2nd time around.

 

Also didn't realise that if you enter into the 'buyer changes their mind' procedure you are in the Mongs hands to decide whether to agree and THEY still have the power to neg you - much better to issue an 'Unpaid Item' procedure 4 days later - you get the fees back and they can't comment at all.

 

Interesting on the classifieds where you only get decent offers in the last few days - 28 days is a long time to wait.

[willswitchengage]

If you're going classified the most sensible approach (imho that is) would be to use AutoTrader instead.

 

I did consider AutoTrader a while ago, but last time I checked it was quite expensive, around £35 to post an ad on there, ebay classified is £15? Although its prob worth the extra £20 or whatever if it gets a car sold.

 

When I sold my last car 100% of visitors said they saw it on AT and not ebay (both classifieds). Bonus of AT is you get a reduced rate if it's a "bargain" (ie under £1000)

[meshking]

I was all ready to list on Auto Trader buy the cost scared me off. I got a decent offer rate on the Ford CMAX I'm selling, but the Peugeot just stupid offers (not surprising really - it's modern shite).

[triang1]

AT might make sense for cars but the bike version is pantos. Few models are listed in the search bar so you have to list it as 'other' which might get ignored - for the price I think I'll go for Ebay classified and see what happens.

 

Must admit I think you get less timewasters with AT though. The Ebay auction couldn't have been designed better to encourage chancers , dreamers and walk away merchants. They should have different rules for vehicles to say, a toaster. They can bang on about binding contracts but "You bid - you buy" doesn't work. Unless the buyer is 100% serious and views first it becomes "You bid - you inspect with a view to buying - you maybe buy".

 

I can see it from the seller and buyers side but unless the car I have bid for is SERIOUSLY different from the description I cough up.

[Bren]

I don't think it's a case of where you advertise - it's what you advertise.

 

If I had anything worth just a couple of hundred I would send it over the bridge - better than some timewasting member of the underclass turning up and complaining that they don't like the colour of your £250 motor.

 

At the other end of the spectrum, new shite is so plentiful that it really is a buyers market.

 

I have just bought an 07 Plate Vectra CDTi SRi - 44k on the clock, full history and 12 months ticket. The vendor had purchased an new insignia but was insulted at the trade in price. He put the car up for £4650, too much for a private sale, rejecting offers of 4k for the car.

 

This meant he was stuck with a classified ad on ebay - some joker offered £2700. I came in and bagged the car for £3600 - deffo a bargain, but then again vectras are ten a penny.

 

I got rid of my mondeo on ebay a week later for £800, fairly happy as I knew it would go - I could have stuck it in the trader but it may have taken weeks to shift.

 

No matter what you sell, at some point you will have to deal with time wasting twats - it's an occupational hazard.

[Guest]

I've got fucked right off on the buying side too.

See car on ebay, go look, offer say £1800, " nah want it to run to end" ok. You travel to see it then have to travel to pcik it up IF you win.

Bid £1800. Outbid by soem twatting autobid thing with 2 secs to go by £20.

Errrr, right so 1800 in your hand is worth more than 1820 minus ebay fees shirley??? This happened three times.

 

Bid blind? No. So go and see car, soemtimes a fair way away.

 

Sometimes cars are total shit so I always look first as I have a (un?) reasonable urge to batter a waster who's 'no rust' FSH car now has rust and the FSH has been "thrown away by my wife"....

 

But all not lost, picked up a peach of a car this week, phoned up, very well spoken gent answered, I explained I WANT TO BUY A CAR WITH MONEY

He replied he was fed up with Poles and Indians offering £1500 for a £2400 car then coming and bidding from there down.

Gent was clear he would accept no less than2000. Fair enough Sir.

 

So I steamed down, looked, drove, paid SMILED. Lots. and all was good in the world so you can turn the fuckwit expereince to your advantage, in my case was totally by chance.

 

On the W123 Merc seller who wanted in excess of £2500 must have been chuffed when he refused my £1900 cash there and then and it sold for £1815 minus fees. Greed is bad kids.

[triang1]

I have a (un?) reasonable urge to batter a waster who's 'no rust' FSH car now has rust and the FSH has been "thrown away by my wife"...

 

Yep it's true - feckwits cut both ways. Trouble is we would like to assume that we are dealing with reasonable people like ourselves... It pisses me off when they hold back obvious faults and expect you to gloss over them when you arrive with the cash. Your seller who's wife lost the documents (?!) he said were part of the sale happened to me too except the sellers explanation was...

 

"I had a row with me girlfriend and she burned them"... Happens all the time apparently - miffed women run upstairs and start a small fire of MOTs, invoices,service documents but funnily enough didn't burn the V5. Maybe she ran out of matches.

 

Who do these wangrods think we are???

[autofive]

a certain RR member likes to use the FSH trick and usually his cars also have some kind of racing pedigree, accept he can provide no evidence of a racing / rallying past and the FSH is always 'with the previous owner, i'm waiting for him to send it' (and they are always described as MINT, of course)

 

about ten couple of years i travelled about 120 miles to view a cortina estate that was described as MINT with FSH and TUNED PINTO, only to find a bog standard rusty cortina with a 1.6 wheezing veevee-carbed pinto and a small sheet of clean paper with oil changes written on it, all in the same colour ink.

 

i ripped into the seller for being a liar and wasting my time, shouting at him so loud that his neighbours came out to listen

 

i hope he learned his lesson

[Cavcraft]

/\

Was he trying to offload an Alfa not to long back? I heard some particulary 'not nice' info on that car from someone who'd been to view it.

[HMC]

This pattern of abductions has spread as west as devon. in 2008 I had a guy mad keen on buying an 88 saab 900, test drive, ill be over on saturday with the cash m8 etc. Its now clear to me that he too was a victim, he was taken leaving no trace for me (or his poor family) to follow and in the end the car was sent over the bridge.

 

I do tend to find its the sub 500 stuff, that tends to increase the chance of alien abduction. Ultra cheap stuff these days i send over the bridge, and in doing so i selflessly hope more human lives will be spared

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

With regards to Ebay, they need to change it so that everyone has a Paypal account and at the end of the auction, 25% of the final price must be taken from the buyers account. If the car isn't as described, you can start a long winded process of trying to get it back - good luck with that, Cavalier Emptor and all that.

 

This would near enough eliminate the idiot problem, would it not? I would personally be happy with that because I don't expect anything off Ebay to be quite as described, and bid accordingly.

 

As for the issues with our Asian and Eastern European brethren, it's now quite common for them to ring up and call themselves 'Mike' or 'James' as opposed to Mohammed or Janitzovitczovich. Then eight of them turn up crammed into one Carina E or Sharan and start bidding you down.

A mate of mine bought a cheap (£300) E36 318iS Coupe 4 months ago. Tried to sell it 2 weeks ago for £300. Of course, that brought just the kind of scummy chancer out of the woodwork as above. So, we took it to my workshop, pulled the engine, box, and rad out (for which I paid £50 the lot), weighed the shell for £160 and got a fifty for the original catalyst. All done, dusted and weighed in a day. He sold the OBC kit for £25 and he's still got the 16 inch alloys and the front fogs to sell, another 50-100 quid's worth. Re-Sult.

[Bren]

The advantage of ebay is that you can give a really description of the item, not so with the trader or gumtree.

 

I advertised my wife's galant on gumtree - one person sent me a text message that read "IS THERE ANY PETROL IN IT"

 

Unfortunately, that it what you are dealing with.