Driving the fun out of motoring.

[M'coli]

Holidays only? rubbish. Try taking both kids and the missus to ASDA for the shopping. You can't get a months worth into a modern car full of people, you might not even fit a weeks worth in. This means you shop more often and drive further.

Easily sorted: only go to buy perishables much as you'd do normally - I wouldn't trust the pickers to do my fruit and veg the way I wanted it doing - & get one of the supermarket home delivery services to do the rest for you.

[dollywobbler]

That doesn't work unless you live within the catchment area of a suitable supermarket though!

[Guest Len H]

ASDA delivers here, and it's 40 miles away.

[Guest]

If I was some kind of supposed businessman and I had to drive around in a Yaris all day, I'd wonder why I bothered - driving around in a big car is the whole point.

 

BUSINESS:

BUSINESS:

BUSINESS:

BUSINESS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHJPoPJYCvI

BUSINESS:

BUSINESS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQCjhszSxEE

BUSINESS:

NOT BUSINESS:

[Mr Lobster]

Christ, what depressing reading.

 

I used to be a company car driver and generally treated it as I would my own and I believe the vast majority of drivers are the same. Yes theres a few idiots but that applies to any group of people you consider.

 

It depresses me somewhat that someone can say that there should be some sort of restriction on what people are allowed to drive just because its a company car - restricted to a Focus Estate? I mean FFS (not that theres anything wrong with Focus Estates, I like 'em myself) . How would you like it if some other cockwand said that anyone who chooses 'x' car should pay higher taxes? Not so much I suspect. You do know that company car drivers are already taxed fairly heavily on them anyway and for most they are not a 'perk' at all. And why should what a private company chooses to give any of its company car drivers to drive be any concern to anyone other than itself.

 

Next, most company cars are leased - very few companies buy outright - and the reason for three year replacement cycles being most common is down to the fact that at three years old residual values are still fairly strong and there won't be any significant expenditure on maintenance other than servicing, tyres etc. Beyond three years, residuals dip and costs can increase.

 

Anyway, driving in this country can still be enjoyable, just depends on your mindset. I still manage 400 or so miles a week and don't often suffer some of the tailgating and other morons mentioned so maybe I'm lucky?

[myglaren]

 

I am amazed that lane 1 is always empty

 

Particularly on the M-ways with 4 lanes. On quiet-ish journeys I often find I'm the only one in it so I just plonk myself at 70 so atleast I'm making progress, but I've also got a decent view ahead whilst all the others are bunched up in lane 3 or 4. Then when you come across the inevitable dawdler doing 55 in lane 2, pull out and join the throng in lane 3, pull back in and then ahhhh enjoy the lane 1 view again!

 

Coming home from the RVI in Newcastle yesterday, at 3pm, the inner lane of the A1 was completely empty, all the traffic and there was plenty of it, seemed compelled to drive in the outer two lanes

[barefoot]

In my younger days, I have been known to punish tailgaters by performing proper emergency stops from 70-80 and bracing myself for impact!

 

What is this,

the how to drive like a retarded cunt thread?

I think stop it now.

[danthecapriman]

we both get to about a ton, all the time he is literally inches from my Volvos back bumper! Me, by now seething with fury with this decides thats it, so I slammed on the brakes as hard as I could!

 

Jesus Christ.

 

What if that stunt went wrong?

 

Indeed! I should point out this happened some years ago, when I was younger and stupider!! I definatly dont do this sort of thing now, neither do I condone it. I find now im a far more experianced driver I do just leave people to it. If they want to drive in an irresponsibe, rekless way then more fool them. The trick is not to allow yourself to be taken in by them, and start doing the same thing!

Far better to allow them to pass and then continue on your way safely without feeling the need to 'educate them'. Hard as it is sometimes!

That stunt I did was not good and should not have happened if only I could have controlled my temper better. There is absolutely no justification to do such things. If that went wrong, both me and the twat behind could easily have been killed, not only that the person we overtook, who had nothing to do with it could have been involved aswell, which is not right at all.

 

The people who drive like idiots and intimidate other drivers will get their commupance one day, they will either have an accident themselves or end up cought by the law and find themselves in court or having to resit the driving test. I have since seen this happen, I was overtaken by a sporty thing one day on the Mway, who then weaved between lanes to undertake other cars. Some time later there was a traffic jam. On getting to the head of the jam there was the tit in the sports car. With it crushed under the front of a lorry. I remember thinking 'how many times did that tit do that sort of thing and get away with it' well that time he didnt. You can only hope he learnt something from it.

 

Again, im not trying to justify my actions, but I think as you get a bit older you start to think more about the consequences of your actions and learn to control your anger better. Nobody can claim to be a perfect driver. I know I have pissed another driver off before, be it by being lost and in the wrong lane or being late and rushing around a bit, whatever the reason. However I always try to wave to apologise or something if I know ive done it. Generally other people recognise you have made a mistake and accept the apology, not always but you cant please everyone.

The best thing people can do is to try to drive more consideratly and be more patient. I always try to drive to the best of my abilities nowadays. Even as an example, something as trivial as signalling correctly on roundabouts, how many times ive been pissed off by someone not doing this when im waiting to pull out, then missing my chance because someone turns right and cant be arsed to do somthing as easy as using an indicator switch! I suppose the best thing to do is try to 'lead' by example.

 

Anyway, in the years since that incident I have been given a company van. About 50% of my job is driving and if I still got that angry with people, I think id end up angry all day long and you just cant be like that.

[overheadvalve]

Ever looked in the boot of a citroen C2 or C3 and wondered where the space the AX and ZX had went?

C1/C2, shirley? Domestic Management (a music teacher) chose the C3 because it had a bigger boot than the Panda and Micra that preceded it.

 

The C1 is a Toyota, C2 is the 3 door version of the C3 I think.

 

The newer PSA motors have conventional dead axles and bootspace eating coil springs/struts at the back now don't they?

or

/\ /\ shirley not?

Further up, i agree with the laptops idea, we have video conferencing at work, it simplifies things....if only they would do more of it!

I also agree with the vehicle tracking, we use it at work on 7 artics and around a dozen Transits, gr9 idea!

For me it's not that i am envious of these people, more i'm totally pissed off that they have no regard for other people and they are not afraid to show it.

I am also a little peeved that they support the economy of other countries but that is just me......

There are i think, but i can't remember where i read it, only about 5% of the nation that grocery shop monthly and less than 10% live more than 5 miles from a stoopidmarket so would that not make it viable for the vast majority?

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

Christ, what depressing reading.

 

It depresses me somewhat that someone can say that there should be some sort of restriction on what people are allowed to drive just because its a company car - restricted to a Focus Estate? I mean FFS (not that theres anything wrong with Focus Estates, I like 'em myself) .

 

Nobody said that you "shouldn't be allowed" to drive whatever you please as a company car. You should indeed be allowed to drive anything you want, be it a Citroen CX or a new RAGE ROOVER SPURT INNIT. However, the taxman (rightly) considers the use of a car to be part of an employee's remuneration. It is understandable and justified to allow a bit of tax relief to people who absolutely need to use a car in order to carry out their job. However, unless you are in the business of hiring chauffeur-driven limos out to VIPs, there is no reason for the state to give you a tax break just because, instead of sticking to a 'work tool' like a Focus, you choose to use 10 grand of your annual salary on an Audi ø11 TDI GT PD ABS ESP 953. Maybe your colleague couldn't care less about company cars and is happy with a Yaris, but he wants to spend that extra 6 grand on a couple of luxury holidays including business class flights- why should he pay 40% on his 'fun spending' while you're only paying 17%?

 

 

Next, most company cars are leased - very few companies buy outright - and the reason for three year replacement cycles being most common is down to the fact that at three years old residual values are still fairly strong and there won't be any significant expenditure on maintenance other than servicing, tyres etc. Beyond three years, residuals dip and costs can increase.

 

I think that you will find that both residuals and the length of the leasing cycle are heavily influenced, if not mostly dictated, by the tax treatment of company cars (see above).

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

In my younger days, I have been known to punish tailgaters by performing proper emergency stops from 70-80 and bracing myself for impact!

 

What is this,

the how to drive like a retarded cunt thread?

I think stop it now.

 

Well, I have stopped it long ago. Didn't mean to recommend it to anyone!

[Pete-M]

[there is no reason for the state to give you a tax break just because, instead of sticking to a 'work tool' like a Focus, you choose to use 10 grand of your annual salary on an Audi ø11 TDI GT PD ABS ESP 953.

 

What happens if you're a company director already in the 50% tax band who has 3500 employees in 400 locations around the country. You do 180,000 miles in three years and can afford to pay £4500 a year in tax to drive a diesel E class Merc as it works out about the same as the depreciation on the car? If the company are paying for the insurance, fuel and road tax you'd be daft not to.

 

I know a few people who do exactly this. If they bought a Focus Estate it would do the job but nowhere near as well as the E-class does. If I was doing 60k miles / year I'd want to be doing it in a nice car. I do about 60-70k miles a year now in different cars, the days when I'm in something like a new E-class are a lot less stressful than the ones in a Skoda Octavia so if I were to use just one car I'd want an E-class or XF.

 

I do not understand why people who're doing 20k miles a year get new 5 series / A6 etc as a 'bonus' from the job. That IS daft.

 

There's a tool I know who spent about six months choosing and speccing his first company car. A VW Passat TDi. Jesus wept, six months of "I'm not having a Mondeo because it hasn't got the right level of prestige for my job grade, it would give the wrong image to prospective clients, blah blah fucking blah". I think he did about 25k miles a year and paid about 1/5th of his wages to let his neighbours think he was doing well. Makes you laugh doesn't it? Stop at the services for fuel, coffee and a piss and at the til there's some hair-gelled gobshite clutching his new iphone4 and chatting loudly about "Book my meeting for 13:30 GMT please, I'd like to do some blue sky about this new portfolio, oh, and tell technical I want results today, they know what I want, I've sent the schematics from our Lithuanian branch by intrawebmail.". You just know that in the real world they'd get a slap and told to behave, but they've entered 'Corporate Bullshit Land' on the back of a BTEC in Business Studies and a sister who's shagging the HR boss. So they want a new car every three years even though they're earning less than the office junior by the time they've paid for it.

[warren t claim]

^^^^ If I owned a Mk2 Escort I really wouldn't be that full of anger!

[Pete-M]

^^^^ If I owned a Mk2 Escort I really wouldn't be that full of anger!

 

Meh. I own one, but the frigging thing is still in bits 1000 miles away and becoming a major logistical disaster area.

 

Having problems even getting a long weekend off at the moment, need to go to Czech and get something done with it as it's been 2.5 years and not much at all has happened with it.

[warren t claim]

^^^^ If I owned a Mk2 Escort I really wouldn't be that full of anger!

 

Meh. I own one, but the frigging thing is still in bits 1000 miles away and becoming a major logistical disaster area.

 

Having problems even getting a long weekend off at the moment, need to go to Czech and get something done with it as it's been 2.5 years and not much at all has happened with it.

If a genie granted me three wishes a sorted RWD Escort would come higher on my list than the ability to suck my own penis. Rejoice in your tat collection.

[Lankytim]

I think that people who slam on the brakes to teach tailgaters a lesson are absolutely stupid..... You need to yank the handbrake up instead as the brake lights won't illuminate and you can laugh as the tailgater sails straight into your rear bumper. Imagine their terrified face disappearing into an airbag. Great!

[overheadvalve]

I think that people who slam on the brakes to teach tailgaters a lesson are absolutely stupid..... You need to yank the handbrake up instead as the brake lights won't illuminate and you can laugh as the tailgater sails straight into your rear bumper. Imagine their terrified face disappearing into an airbag. Great!

You don't need to imagine it, you can fit a camera on the rear window and record it!

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

You just know that in the real world they'd get a slap and told to behave, but they've entered 'Corporate Bullshit Land' on the back of a BTEC in Business Studies and a sister who's shagging the HR boss. So they want a new car every three years even though they're earning less than the office junior by the time they've paid for it.

 

Brrr...I am having nightmares about this kind of thing- if I don't find a job within the next month or so, I will be forced to start applying for 'graduate' jobs (I'm technically a recent graduate because I just finished the postgrad) and have to endure all this shit- though I guess that'd be more appropriate for the grumpy thread!

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Christ, what depressing reading.

 

I used to be a company car driver and generally treated it as I would my own and I believe the vast majority of drivers are the same. Yes theres a few idiots but that applies to any group of people you consider.

 

It depresses me somewhat that someone can say that there should be some sort of restriction on what people are allowed to drive just because its a company car - restricted to a Focus Estate? I mean FFS (not that theres anything wrong with Focus Estates, I like 'em myself) . How would you like it if some other cockwand said that anyone who chooses 'x' car should pay higher taxes? Not so much I suspect. You do know that company car drivers are already taxed fairly heavily on them anyway and for most they are not a 'perk' at all. And why should what a private company chooses to give any of its company car drivers to drive be any concern to anyone other than itself.

 

Next, most company cars are leased - very few companies buy outright - and the reason for three year replacement cycles being most common is down to the fact that at three years old residual values are still fairly strong and there won't be any significant expenditure on maintenance other than servicing, tyres etc. Beyond three years, residuals dip and costs can increase.

 

Anyway, driving in this country can still be enjoyable, just depends on your mindset. I still manage 400 or so miles a week and don't often suffer some of the tailgating and other morons mentioned so maybe I'm lucky?

 

I'd agree with this. I don't recall driving like an aggressive twat in any company car I ever had be they Montegos or BMW's. On a good day you can sail along at 80-90 in lane 3 with a load of others and not have an issue.

 

I'm off on a long jaunt down the South tomorrow in the Insignum, taking in the M1 and M40. Thinking of donning the single breasted and a Next stripey wide knot tie - whaddya reckon?

 

I shall report back with tales of tailgating and general cock action.

[tonedepear]

I shall report back with tales of tailgating and general cock action.

 

 

[ChinaTom]

What happens if you're a company director already in the 50% tax band who has 3500 employees in 53 locations around the world. You do >150,000 miles in three years and can afford to pay £ a lot. If the company are paying for the insurance, fuel and road tax you'd be daft not to.

 

Valid point for some. The MD of a previous client was in a situation as above - saw less than 60% of his salary arrive in his account, spent less than 20% of his weekends and evenings at home with his family and put in stupid hours to steer the company through choppy competitive seas with the added hassle of general public shareholding, constantly changing corporate ownership and sorting out the catastrophically incompetent A6/520d drivers in the medium management levels etc etc. He had been at the helm of Corus when "that" all happened, and his life basically was not his own. So in his words "fuck it, they're buying me an Aston".

[eddyramrod]

catastrophically incompetent A6/520d drivers in the medium management levels

 

Isn't "catastrophically incompetent" the major qualification for most management levels? This is just my view mind, based on many years of observation and interactive experience...

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

I shall report back with tales of tailgating and general cock action.

 

 

 

 

Well, everyone behaved today. But what an absolute bastard of a journey.

 

Needed to be in Aylesbury today for 9.30 ish, so left home at 6.45. Nice day, got on the M1 at J31 and proceeded South. Everyone (Audis included) doing 70-80 ish, all moving along nicely.

 

Then of course comes a problem. M1 DELAYS J18 on the big overhead signs, and sure enough it's on the traffic news as well - accident and 3-4 miles of tailbacks. Marvellous, thanks for that.

 

Came off at A42, to use M42 and M40. Ha! Every other bugger had the same idea so there was gridlock on the A42. Got off at the A5 and tried to head south that way to Keynes and get to Aylesbury that way. Well, the A5 is a total waste of fucking time. What used to be a nice fast road is now a collection of 50mph limited sections linking together 6000 roundabouts. Got to a big roundabout with DIRFT (thought that was a plate of a badly modified Skyline) at which point the A5 became a pissarsed B road with every clueless dawdling fuckwit and angry trucker on it. Major jams and drama, accidents, ambulances etc which all culminated in a 3 mile tailback into Weedon. I needed a piss, so darted off a side road which went over the M1 - which was absolutely blocked solid.

By 10am I'd had enough of this shit, so stopped at a truckers cafe near where the A5 joins the A43. Miserable bastard on the till who mutters a 'kew' (a sort of half arsed thankyou) with every laboured action. Don't look so offended when I want a bit more milk in tea you grumpy twat.

Followed an Austin 7 Chummy through Winslow. Which was nice. Got to Aylesbury at 11.25, 140 miles and nearly 5 hours after leaving home.

 

What a fucking joke. No wonder there's so much aggression on the roads when you have to deal with shit like this on a daily basis. It's not helped by the frankly piss poor standard of driving.

 

Drove the Vauxhall InSignor in the normal fashion, saw no road rage/tailgating etc.

[Polystratus]

 

What a fucking joke. No wonder there's so much aggression on the roads when you have to deal with shit like this on a daily basis. It's not helped by the frankly piss poor standard of driving.

 

 

Yep, school holidays are over, it's Monday morning, and OMG traffic chaos every time.

[scooters]

[there is no reason for the state to give you a tax break just because, instead of sticking to a 'work tool' like a Focus, you choose to use 10 grand of your annual salary on an Audi ø11 TDI GT PD ABS ESP 953.

 

What happens if you're a company director already in the 50% tax band who has 3500 employees in 400 locations around the country. You do 180,000 miles in three years and can afford to pay £4500 a year in tax to drive a diesel E class Merc as it works out about the same as the depreciation on the car? If the company are paying for the insurance, fuel and road tax you'd be daft not to.

 

I know a few people who do exactly this. If they bought a Focus Estate it would do the job but nowhere near as well as the E-class does. If I was doing 60k miles / year I'd want to be doing it in a nice car. I do about 60-70k miles a year now in different cars, the days when I'm in something like a new E-class are a lot less stressful than the ones in a Skoda Octavia so if I were to use just one car I'd want an E-class or XF.

 

I do not understand why people who're doing 20k miles a year get new 5 series / A6 etc as a 'bonus' from the job. That IS daft.

 

There's a tool I know who spent about six months choosing and speccing his first company car. A VW Passat TDi. Jesus wept, six months of "I'm not having a Mondeo because it hasn't got the right level of prestige for my job grade, it would give the wrong image to prospective clients, blah blah fucking blah". I think he did about 25k miles a year and paid about 1/5th of his wages to let his neighbours think he was doing well. Makes you laugh doesn't it? Stop at the services for fuel, coffee and a piss and at the til there's some hair-gelled gobshite clutching his new iphone4 and chatting loudly about "Book my meeting for 13:30 GMT please, I'd like to do some blue sky about this new portfolio, oh, and tell technical I want results today, they know what I want, I've sent the schematics from our Lithuanian branch by intrawebmail.". You just know that in the real world they'd get a slap and told to behave, but they've entered 'Corporate Bullshit Land' on the back of a BTEC in Business Studies and a sister who's shagging the HR boss. So they want a new car every three years even though they're earning less than the office junior by the time they've paid for it.

 

I hire senior execs for large fmcg companies...the cars we lease them are essential tools of the job. If you are slogging 700 to 1000 miles a week and what is more function at the end of it you need a car that can cover the miles with ease...good engine, quiet, good suspension. If you drive 400 miles in a MK2 golf gti...at the other end you will feel tired...if you do it in an xj40 you feel fresh as a daisy.

 

Most of the corporate drivers who log distances like this who i know are pretty defensive drivers....yoy see too much tragedy on the roads to load the dice. In my experience weekdays ate usually ok, it is the preserve if the professional driver. Weekends and holidays is when you have to watch it you get the inexperienced drivers and the mad frustrated dads in mpvs driving like arses.

 

The only corporate drivers to watch are the young ladies in their BMW1 s and the crunchy bar rep who doesn't tend to have a large patch and although will clock up the miles they won't be doing the long distance slogs.

[Lord Sterling]

To be honest though, its not just reps in BMWs and Audis that are the bullies and offenders of our roads today. I've been on many a motorway journey and have passed my fair share of well-behaved 'reps' just sitting in the left-lane trundling along minding thier own business. Some of the bullies and offenders have been your self-smug higher-middle class types who do actually believe they have more rights to the road than you do and will bully/cut you up/pull out in front of you because they do believe that you are on 'thier way'.

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

But aren't most reps middle-class or at least middle-class wannabes? What with having a third-class degree in business communications and event organising from the Roundabout University (former MK College) and wearing a tie to work...

 

The problem with the reps isn't their driving habits per se. There are plenty of little old ladies that drive in a more dangerous way...however, the old biddies just don't do 50k miles per year.

[Lord Sterling]

But aren't most reps middle-class or at least middle-class wannabes?

 

Some are, some arent. You cant tarnish everyone with the same brush, not all middle class types are up thier own arses, its just we tend to run into the vast majority of them that do.

 

What I am trying to say is that there are people, possibly due to the way and surrounding they are brought up in that really do believe they have more exlusive rights to do as they please, to push in line, cut you up, pull out on front of you because they believe that they are better than you. Hard to believe but it does happen.

 

I guess it also depends on where you live, as Mr Lobster said, he hardly ever encounters twats on the roads, however, some of us here encouter some of the worse driving ever seen almost on a daily basis.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

If you drive 400 miles in a MK2 golf gti...at the other end you will feel tired...if you do it in an xj40 you feel fresh as a daisy.

 

Depends how far you have to push it.

[scooters]

If you drive 400 miles in a MK2 golf gti...at the other end you will feel tired...if you do it in an xj40 you feel fresh as a daisy.

 

Depends how far you have to push it.

 

 

My point being that I'f you have to function at the other end then you can't have the risk of feeling knackered. Ergo the reason why my brother in law is flown out to Hong Kong business class by his employer is he is only going for 2 days and those 2 days are back to back meetings and he stands a better chance of staying awake in them going business class as losing concentration will cost the business far more than the price difference between the two. His response to those who see this as ax perk is to point out that if they think that he'd rather fly that distance for 2 days of stress only seeing the hotel.and office than being at home with his kids then they are gimps.

 

A good example of cars being business tools was made by my old boss. He had a top of the range new 5 series diesel. When his role changed and he was no longer pulling 30k a year in business miles he swapped it for a Golf...why...well he already has a family car and worked out the tax hit was a joke for vanity.

 

On the broader point. It doesn't matter what creed, colour, class, occupation blah blah blah you are it does not necessitate you driving like a twat. Inconsiderate, aggressive and dangerous drivers come from all walks of life and to generalise is prejudice.