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Cavette's cavalcade of crap *Scrapyard DS April 2K18*


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*Warning: does NOT contain date stamp or lock-ups*

Armed with new camera I thought I'd better offer up some local shite spottings. I will attempt to a) get better at photography and B) add some better spots in the future but it's a start if nothing else.

One's an antique farm based implement, the other's a tractor...
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Strange part blinged, part giffer spec 620...
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Truly horrific 'bubble' that's mostly rust, dents and badly fitted bumpers...
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Now dis-used Freight Sherparover LDV 400 banger. I might give the owner a knock one day and see what he's doing with it...
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Lighweight Landy...?
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Neighbouring S2(?) I think this is still in use...
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A phone box, aka a smackhead shelter. I doubt this one has used needles or people in hooded tracksuits using it...
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I have a feeling this steam driven tractor is owned by the proper offroad version pictured earlier next to the Rover...
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I like this photograph. Years back you'd see bloody loads of these looking the same in hedges, fields, ponds and driveways all over the shop...
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Oh, here's the M53 for all you motorway lovers. Mk3 Astra content was purely incidental...
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And one of my favourite spots. Been there since the year dot and I really do need to go on the knock to see if they'll offload it. It's probably rotted out completely but it could be fun to try and get it running and see what it's like...
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That is all for now. xxx

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When the bubble shaped 200 first came out I hated it, I have to say I have mellowed to them in recent days.

Still hate the Mk 3 shape Fiesta though.

 

Your photos are...

 

random-encounter.jpg

 

Random

But interesting!

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Registration G657DKA

Make FORD

Model FIESTA

Date of Liability 01 09 2005

Date of First Registration 02 10 1989

Year of Manufacture 1989

Cylinder Capacity (cc) 1118CC

CO2 Emissions Not Available

Fuel Type Petrol

Export Marker Not Applicable

Vehicle Status Unlicensed

Vehicle Colour RED

+ Love the motorway shot as i have been along there a few times.

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What's weird is Torsten is that the (Minor) roof in front of the car looks to be a sort of hand made one. It sure as hell didn't look like 'normal' steel, possibly it was aluminium or something. There's other tat there too under tarpaulins and some well rotted Minor bits. I think he had a Mk10 Jag there last year and a Maestro.

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Nice spots Cav, thanks for putting these up. The Fiesta seems to be quite early for a G-reg, I thought the G-reg prefix came out late 1989/early 1990. The Fiesta brings back some memories of my Ma_Sterling's mk3 Fiesta 1.0 popular-plus (G886KAW) I still remember that whiney little engine noise it made when driven in lower gears coupled with the tappetty engine noise.

 

I remember when a mate of mine had a White Rover 200 bubble identical to the one you spotted, initially it belonged to his Dad but somehow he took charge of the car. He stuck on some horrible after-market blingy crap alloys on it. Despite its appearence it drove quite acceptably, in fact most of these bubble 200s that I've driven seem quite comfortable, respectable and even pleasing to drive.

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GET IN THERE!

 

I've been out down the river in the Cavalier and much to my missus and daughters dismay I found some top draw rammle (rammel?) to take pictures of.

 

Not my cup of Tetley's finest but they do have their followers.

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Another really random thing I didn't want to get too close to as the owners were about. This was towing a home made boat trailer that basically looked

like a caravan chassis with some bits of wood and shit sort of half-heartedly nailed on top. Not unlike the camper itself. Oh and the 'boat' they had was a home made job that honestly looked like a giant kids slide with some water wheels either side of the rear end...

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This made me almost ROFL my testic-les off, down the ramp, straight past the ducks and right into the river. In fact looking at the tide marks down the side it was probably rescued from the water at some point. I reckon if someone tapped the side of it with a balsa wood kids aeroplane the camper would have gone home 3 tonnes lighter due to the inordinate amount of plod in it...

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This was going to be my spot of the day. Stood out like a beacon in a blackout and even street wise kids walking past were muttering 'cool' and 'class' etc.

River Dee-esse?

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Unfortunately for that rather sexy piece of Citroen history it got compley annihilated in the spotting game by this HUNNY. Sady I could only get one shop as the owner kept walking back to it so I had to go all craparazzi from behind the trees...

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It was fantasically awful. The front had seemed ok (from a distance) but the sides were part tidemark, part rust, part dents and plenty of filler, the rear had been stoved in a bit and it had laquer peel that would make the owner of a metallic blue Mk2 Astra blush.

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The Mk2 Golf is super-early, there are a couple of H-plate Mk3s kicking around but you rarely see a J Mk2.

The VW camper is odd in that there's louvres in the front panel..... I wonder if there's something watercooled propelling it along?

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Could holidays be much more painful than this?

 

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POTTERED BY FAIRY DUST?

 

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There was some sort of Mustang-ish Yank barge parked in front of this but the Angle box eclipsed it BIG TIME.

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The Rover SD3 has probably been punted up the arse, and shoved into something else. There was one in our local scrappy, and the damage to it from such an accident was just as you describe. GR8 spots BTW.

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Hey, today I went to a local 'motor show'. If Autoshite did this sort of thing it'd actually be a lot better but what the hell, it was free of charge and I like free.

 

Bling, bling chrome wheeled Bentley with a quite revolting interior (not pictured) which had some seriously naff wood all over the shop...

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This is the scene tax preservation society...

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Would yerz loike some lucky clover leaves yer barstards?

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I find these give me TROUSER TENT ACTION. Even if you just know it'll fall to bits within hours and the value will plummet faster than a greased anvil thrown off a bloody big cliff..

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While he wasn't looking though his little sister was giving me the come on. I couldn't be unfaithful to my Cavalier though so I fucked her off by text message...

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Larger Autoshite itinerant people carrier. As wonderful as it was the older ones with headlights the size of Jodrell Bank radars are much more fun looking...

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Crackpot collection ahoy...

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Oh look, the indicators come of the side. I know, we'll stand there looking at them for FUGGING HOURS, sod that miserable bastard with the camera trying to take pictures...

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St©unt rider malarkey...

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YH BABY, I could tart this up, driven it round, talked incessantly on Autoshite about how they're the GR8ST car in the world and turn a profit out of it. I'll go and have a closer look, I wonder if I could buy it on the cheap...?

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BING BONG! Will the owner of a red Mk3 Astra please come to deception, some daft old bastard wants to buy your car. Yeah yeah, we'll be there in five minutes. GR10, I'll go for a gypsy's kiss while I wait. What do you mean they're waiting for me, I better leg it over there quick. OI! WTF ARE YOU DOING MAN?

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Next time I have a spontaneous external combustion I'm going to call the Post Office instead. F*CK YOU FIRE BRIGADE...

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:cry:

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I'll be honest, seeing the fire brigade chop up a mk3 doesn't bother me all that much. Those dudes risk their lives 'n' shit. Now, if it had been TopGear that would be different.....

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I know, I was only joshing. Next in line was a Ford Ka, now that really would have made me happy to see it get the same treatment. They demonstrated those claw things they use by ripping the wing off the Astra and it was very impressive. I think the cars had been donated by a scrappy, fair play like.

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I think if you trimmed the sharp edges off and put the doors back on minus the frames you could have a sort of 4 door astra speedster. It'd look cooler than the normal one.

 

Someone with better photoshop skills than my (nonexistant) ones feel free to run with this idea. Your reward will be the knowledge that you've given someone you've never met a shite-gasm.

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  • 4 months later...

Little update here as I spotted some nice old AS type crud for sale in a garage in town...

 

I think this was something like £8,500 but certainly looked the part. The Minor has been there since the year dot and possibly isn't for sale...

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Not sure what this is (SOZ) possibly a Morris of some sort? Bloody nice whatever it is...

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This was lush. I did wonder if it was a bit salty (or suitable for the 'bargains' thread) but from outside the showroom it looked really, really tidy...

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I bought a trade-in Orion Ghia from this garage years back now for £100. It had loads of MOT and six weeks tax and was a bloody nice motor. They used to be a Vauxhall dealer (we had three in Chester at one time!) and seem to have a very good reputation.

 

Might have spotted this previously but I reckon it deserves another mention if I had. Complete lack of spazzy Cooper lookalike bollocks, just a standard looking car that's probably owned by someone who doesn't want to scene tax it...

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Random LML spotted today...

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The fire service at Heathrow have knackered loads of intresting cars and they hardly ever attend RTAs so its a right waste. It used to be one of our (MT) jobs to to collect the dumped cars from long stay and staff the car parks (this was a while ago before scrap prices went mad) and deliver them to the old fire training ground .

A lot of the FS were ex RAF as was one of my collegues so there was plenty of banter and pranks. We were all ways saying the senarios of their staged RTAs were unrealistic (single casualty dummy in a single parked car). So the Station Officer invited us to rig one, we went for car at a 30 degree angle in a muddy ditch, four dummies with suspected neck injuries and before we chucked it in the ditch we locked and then cut the accessable door handle rods and hammered the weather strip over the top of the doors. It took the vollyball playing freaks ages to recover the casualties; we weren't asked to provide the service again. :)

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