Automotive Myths

[Father Ted]

How about the old tabloid newsrag standard, about the American tourist who picks up their hire car at a UK airport, and drives it some distance in first gear, until the engine expires..

 

That has happened to me when I worked in Avis back in the late '90s. Two Californian kids on a madcap 'round England in a week, then off to Europeland' tour did a week in a Daewoo Nexia (possibly a Lanos) in third gear. When they brought the car in I was doing the paperwork when one of them said "Noisy little thing isn't it? Even when just cruising at 65 it's noisy.". They were late for their train to Holyhead so I ran them to the station. It was when they were on the way there that they said "Oh, that's how you do it. We just left it in 3."

 

OK, but what the hell do they thing the third pedal is for, how do they stop the car without it stalling, how do they set off without stalling if they dont use the clutch or change gear - sure Ive driven a car with no clutch (kangarooing from the lights and changing by the revs and stalling the bastard when having to stop quickly) But I mean

[Des]

I can believe the Ist gear story, I was working for a company about 10 years ago, and used to have to go on the road sometimes, I'd usually borrow one of the reps cars, a small BMW, a Focus or a Mondeo, the Ford boys became arsey about letting me have their cars, they were all anal about the fuel computers and believed the plummetting MPG was down to my thrashing the things. I wasn't using 5th gear, and it's not like the cars seemed to complain. Few years later I used a Galaxy, this time I wasn't as thick, remembered to use 5th, when I finished with it, was parking it up, looked down at the lever to remind myself where reverse was, noticed SIX fecking gears.

[oldford]

I lent my Cortina to a friend one day as he had to go to Wales and his MK 2 Escort wasn't up to it. The Cortina (a Crusader) had a lovely unmarked interior. My friend was driving along, flicked a fag out of the window and it blew back in landing between his back and the seat.

[Timewaster]

I used a Galaxy, this time I wasn't as thick, remembered to use 5th, when I finished with it, was parking it up, looked down at the lever to remind myself where reverse was, noticed SIX fecking gears.

 

I'm ALWAYS driving the work Iveco in 5th, forgeting about 6th. Then after work I get back in my own car and try and select reverse at 50 mph most evenings!

[CreepingJesus]

OK, but what the hell do they thing the third pedal is for, how do they stop the car without it stalling, how do they set off without stalling if they dont use the clutch or change gear - sure Ive driven a car with no clutch (kangarooing from the lights and changing by the revs and stalling the bastard when having to stop quickly) But I mean

 

I was wondering that, too. I've clutchless shifted cars with shagged clutches before, but starting and stopping are something of an issue in that respect. Hmmm, there may be some mileage in this yet.

 

Status: Confirmed.

 

That's the one...ta!

[richardthestag]

If you boot a Rover 800 square in the front numberplate, the airbags go off, heard that a while ago.

 

I do know for a FACT, if you just hear that your beloved West Ham have been nailed as you are driving your Rover 600 out of a carpark in Watford and you bang the middle of the steering wheel with the palm of your hand you will most definately deploy the airbag. Not mine but a mate Chris, I laughed so much that a tiny bit of poo might have escaped

 

There was a rumour that if you banged the o/s/r wing on a SD1 Rover it would pop the central locking. I do recall discussing this at the pub and then watching with amusement as a punter took a flying kick at the rear wing of a mates car. His beer glass just slid out of his hand as he watched in horror as it all unfolded. Again I was on the floor in serious need of oxygen so failed to recall whether or not the central locking popped.

 

A gal I used to work with had a particulalry shite Rover 800 which she locked the keys in. After an hour of fannying around with bent coat hangers and the like she called out a local garage who asked us to look away while they jacked up the back of the car. dunno what they did but all the locks popped open. We guessed that he just let it down real quick and tricked the car into thinking it had an accident.

[Negative Creep]

I dread to think what that rover 600 looks like given west ham's performance this season.....

[richardthestag]

I dread to think what that rover 600 looks like given west ham's performance this season.....

 

probably almost as nice as that Arsenal one

[barefoot]

At the pub yesterday bloke with one of those Australian V8 Vauxhall things, told me that he struggled to accelerate briskly in it because he simply couldn't get any traction and the back wheels spun.

Apparently traction control didn't work very well. Gets through a set of rears in 3,000 miles.

Blimey says I, that's terrible.

But apparently not, has a mate with a Porsche GT2 and they only last 2,000 miles.

 

Mmmm, could stop driving like a pair of twats I suppose.

[ashmicro]

From the Woolwich Arsenal, Norm.

 

Arsenal Football Club started out as Dial Square in 1886 by workers at the Royal Arsenal in Woolwich, south-east London, and was renamed Royal Arsenal shortly afterwards. The club was renamed again to Woolwich Arsenal after becoming a limited company in 1893. Their current manager is a foreigner called Arsenal Whinger.

[Cavcraft]

For Christ's sake don't tell him about Scunthorpe.

[Father Ted]

Sheffield Wednesday FC are named after the town of Sheffield.

[richardthestag]

From the Woolwich Arsenal, Norm.

 

Arsenal Football Club started out as Dial Square in 1886 by workers at the Royal Arsenal in Woolwich, south-east London, and was renamed Royal Arsenal shortly afterwards. The club was renamed again to Woolwich Arsenal after becoming a limited company in 1893. Their current manager is a foreigner called Arsenal Whinger.

 

and they used to be able to win silverware occasionally to keep the fans and board or duhrectors amused. Alas not this season and another whole load of deployed airbags from north lunnon Rover 600 driving football fans - though 1/2 of the fans would have been in despair and the others briefly in deep joy until the airbag snapped their worthless and scrawney necks

[richardthestag]

Sheffield Wednesday FC are named after the town of Sheffield.

 

But Wimbledon FC now play for Milk and Beans or something like that

 

This article is about the original club from London which existed until 2004. For its relocation, see Relocation of Wimbledon F.C. to Milton Keynes. For the relocated and renamed club, see Milton Keynes Dons F.C.. For the football club formed by supporters of the club, see AFC Wimbledon.

 

something to do with developers and a new tescblows or something store on Plough Lane Wimbledon - which was actually Collyers wood or was it Sarf-fields.

 

talking of which Myth or Fact, Did the owners of Collyers wood breakers yard that I use to frequent mucho in the 1980's ever catch anyone nicking sparkplugs? and if so did they "av their nuts for it"?

[Father Ted]

and they used to be able to win silverware occasionally to keep the fans and board or duhrectors amused. Alas not this season and another whole load of deployed airbags from north lunnon Rover 600 driving football fans - though 1/2 of the fans would have been in despair and the others briefly in deep joy until the airbag snapped their worthless and scrawney necks

 

Ditto Preston North End who have been relegated. Still we shall be off to the Brigg to "bury the coffin" down at Trades Hall and get very pissed indeed. Tis a fun afternoon out for all the menfolk roundabout with much merryment, stopping of traffic and falling into open holes by drunken people.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

OK, but what the hell do they thing the third pedal is for, how do they stop the car without it stalling, how do they set off without stalling if they dont use the clutch or change gear - sure Ive driven a car with no clutch (kangarooing from the lights and changing by the revs and stalling the bastard when having to stop quickly) But I mean

 

Previous owner of my car somehow drove it around, including delivering it to my house, with an empty clutch master cylinder. I couldn't figure out how, as I couldn't get it into gear without it stalling. There was no discernible clutch action.

[triang1]

Mitsubushi Starion was supposed to be called the "Stallion" ( ie to ape the Mustang) but the Japanese head honcho could not pronunce his 'L's and so the result came out as "Starion"

 

You try saying "Stallion" in a Japanese accent.

 

Also one Jap manufacturer had a light van for the home market called the "Bongo Pantry Boy Supreme"... myth or fact?

[Guest Leonard Hatred]

Mitsubushi Starion was supposed to be called the "Stallion" ( ie to ape the Mustang) but the Japanese head honcho could not pronunce his 'L's and so the result came out as "Starion"

 

You try saying "Stallion" in a Japanese accent.

 

Also one Jap manufacturer had a light van for the home market called the "Bongo Pantry Boy Supreme"... myth or fact?

 

I don't think that's true, Mitsubishi was a bit astronomically obsessed at the time, I'm sure they wanted to call the Starion Orion but that was already taken, so opted for 'Star'ion' instead.

 

The long running Mazda van is called the Bongo, and there was a 'Friendee' version. The 'Pantry Boy Supreme' bit sounds a bit Sniff Petrol.

[Guest]

Starion is "Star of Orion", that's about as exciting as that one gets. A lot of thought/money goes into naming cars for worldwide markets.

 

The Pantryboy Supreme one is a stranger tale as the Internet seems to think it is by Nissan, Toyota, Daihatsu and Suzuki. The most feasible sounding one is actually that it is a commercial delivery bike by Yamaha, but as there is absolutely no reference to them ever making such a thing and I have never seen a picture of one or ever seen details from any official source.

[triang1]

Mitsubushi Starion was supposed to be called the "Stallion" ( ie to ape the Mustang) but the Japanese head honcho could not pronunce his 'L's and so the result came out as "Starion"

 

You try saying "Stallion" in a Japanese accent.

 

Also one Jap manufacturer had a light van for the home market called the "Bongo Pantry Boy Supreme"... myth or fact?

 

I don't think that's true, Mitsubishi was a bit astronomically obsessed at the time, I'm sure they wanted to call the Starion Orion but that was already taken, so opted for 'Star'ion' instead.

 

The long running Mazda van is called the Bongo, and there was a 'Friendee' version. The 'Pantry Boy Supreme' bit sounds a bit Sniff Petrol.

 

Maybe you're right ( plus nobody seems to have a picture of the Pantry Boy in question and I've seen it described as a Mazda, Nissan and Toyota).

 

I know Mazda came denied the 'Stallion' story saying it was really 'Star of Orion' contracted , but that explanation seems less believable than the mispronounced one to me.... Never mind another myth exploded.

[monzaE]

"Mitsubushi Starion was supposed to be called the "Stallion" ( ie to ape the Mustang)"

 

 

Borrocks

[Station]

I don't think that's true, Mitsubishi was a bit astronomically obsessed at the time, I'm sure they wanted to call the Starion Orion but that was already taken, so opted for 'Star'ion' instead.

 

The long running Mazda van is called the Bongo, and there was a 'Friendee' version. The 'Pantry Boy Supreme' bit sounds a bit Sniff Petrol.

 

There's a couple of Friendees around here!

 

The Starion thing has two sides - Colt was a brand name, named after a horse, which might prove the myth. But some claims about the Star Of Orion was because of the Mitsubishi star badge, although the badge is a ship's propeller. I think they did intend to call it Stallion as it was being sold to the US market (but called the Conquest).

 

The Japanese have made a load of mistakes with 'Engrish'. Continental Circuit anyone?

 

 

When the head of Mitsubishi was asked on this, he claimed it was 'Lubbish!'

[Guest Leonard Hatred]

The Starion thing has two sides - Colt was a brand name, named after a horse, which might prove the myth. But some claims about the Star Of Orion was because of the Mitsubishi star badge, although the badge is a ship's propeller. I think they did intend to call it Stallion as it was being sold to the US market (but called the Conquest).

 

Yeah, it was badge engineered into a Dodge. I think it was marketed by Mitsubishi in the US as a Starion concurrently.

Their engines at the time had names like 'Astron', 'Sirius', 'Neptune', etc.

[richardthestag]

OK, but what the hell do they thing the third pedal is for, how do they stop the car without it stalling, how do they set off without stalling if they dont use the clutch or change gear - sure Ive driven a car with no clutch (kangarooing from the lights and changing by the revs and stalling the bastard when having to stop quickly) But I mean

 

Previous owner of my car somehow drove it around, including delivering it to my house, with an empty clutch master cylinder. I couldn't figure out how, as I couldn't get it into gear without it stalling. There was no discernible clutch action.

 

piece of cake

 

1. warm up the engine

2. switch of engine

3. apply first gear

4. start engine and motor away

5. treat the gearbox like a synchroless crash box - aim to knock it out of gear rather than stalling it

6. get to a roundabout and repeat from step #2

 

Junctions are a bit lairy but I drove my bros panda back from Richmond to Ewell like this when he snapped the clutch cable for the millionth time

[Rocket88]

Drove an FD Victor through Paris with a snapped clutch cable.....................interesting experience..........

[nigel bickle]

Likewise! In a Fiat 128

 

And rode a Suzuki GT380 back from the south of France with no clutch cable or front brake caliper (both knicked the night before we left). Interesting journey-that!

[barefoot]

My personal best is driving the camper back home with a broken clutch cable,

swinging round into the hammerhead thing at the end of the close,

bouncing it off the kerb and dropping it into reverse

and getting it back down my drive between two houses.

 

I did stall it at the end though!

[Station]

Yeah, it was badge engineered into a Dodge. I think it was marketed by Mitsubishi in the US as a Starion concurrently.

Their engines at the time had names like 'Astron', 'Sirius', 'Neptune', etc.

 

It was a Colt Starion in 1982, later a Dodge. Forgot about the spacey engine names. I guess we'll never know!

[Rod/b]

Mitsubishi did, however, make a car called the LETTUCE.

[Negative Creep]

The Japanese have made a load of mistakes with 'Engrish'. Continental Circuit anyone?

 

 

When the head of Mitsubishi was asked on this, he claimed it was 'Lubbish!'

 

 

 

But not Donkey Kong, before anyone cites that myth