Pointless Car Features

[Guest Leonard Hatred]

Peugeot 1.4 automatic must be pretty dismal, even the manual ones are tardy.

[theorganist]

Peugeot 1.4 automatic must be pretty dismal, even the manual ones are tardy.

 

I don't really have much to compare it with really (modern car wise). It has a good mid range and will sit at 70 easily, but is quite slothful unless you give it pleny of wellie! The economy is pretty poor!!

 

To be fair for a modern car it is quite decent to drive and comfortable, but maybe I am just used to it!!

[cms206]

Peugeot 1.4 automatic must be pretty dismal, even the manual ones are tardy.

 

 

Ran a 206 1.1S for a while. It was thoroughly entertaining*

 

 

(* may contain lies)

[Guest Leonard Hatred]

I meant to say 206 up there. I was surprised at how dismal my friend's 206 1.4 was, considering it had essentially the same engine as a 205 XS. I guess it's the lardiness, not that 206s are heavy by modern standards, and long gearing.

[Negative Creep]

Going on from the post in the other thread, spare wheels slung under the back on French cars. They'll either get stolen or the thread will rust solid so you have to hacksaw the thing out. Then there's the cars that don't have a temperature gauge, just a light. So the first time you'll know there's a problem is when it's too late

[dollywobbler]

Going on from the post in the other thread, spare wheels slung under the back on French cars. They'll either get stolen or the thread will rust solid so you have to hacksaw the thing out.

 

I've never understood this 'wheel will get stolen' worry. The bracket is held by a nut on the inside, so someone would have to cut the bracket away. Seems odd to pick this up as a weakness but not 4x4s where the wheel is bolted to the rear door at an easily accessible height... (that's a point, I really should invest in at least one locking wheelnut!)

[Guest Leonard Hatred]

My alloy wheel-shod 405 GTX had a steel spare, so I assume the original alloy spare it should have was stolen.

Unfortunately the steel wheels take different studs - cue wrecking the threads on the o/s/f hub through over-tightening.

[eddyramrod]

Yes, the spare should ALWAYS match the wheels on the road. He says, with four 15" alloys on the pickup and only the original 14" steel spare... My excuse is, I bought the wheels after the truck (and have the steels in my garage); manufacturers, what's your excuse? Apart from penny-pinching, of course...

[CreepingJesus]

^Strange you should mention that; the Mondy has the optional 15" alloys (same ones as the frogeye Scorpio), but the spare is a 14" steel. The alloys' tyres are 205/55, but the steel is a 205/65, and stood side by side, the rolling diameter is pretty much the same. But just try getting the alloy back in the spare wheel well! Not a chance.

A 15" steel with a 205/55 doesn't fit either, but the 14" with the 205/65 does. The bowl of the spare well is too, well, bowled to take the squarer profile of the 15".

Given that 15"s were becoming more common when the Mondeo was designed, you'd think they'd have left a bit more space in the wheel well, wouldn't you?

[Negative Creep]

Going on from the post in the other thread, spare wheels slung under the back on French cars. They'll either get stolen or the thread will rust solid so you have to hacksaw the thing out.

 

I've never understood this 'wheel will get stolen' worry. The bracket is held by a nut on the inside, so someone would have to cut the bracket away. Seems odd to pick this up as a weakness but not 4x4s where the wheel is bolted to the rear door at an easily accessible height... (that's a point, I really should invest in at least one locking wheelnut!)

 

 

I used to work at a Citroen dealer and we'd have people coming in all the time who'd had theirs nicked. I think the local pikeys had worked out that a good kick in the right direction would free the carrier and give you a nice new Michelin

[CreepingJesus]

Going on from the post in the other thread, spare wheels slung under the back on French cars. They'll either get stolen or the thread will rust solid so you have to hacksaw the thing out.

 

I've never understood this 'wheel will get stolen' worry. The bracket is held by a nut on the inside, so someone would have to cut the bracket away. Seems odd to pick this up as a weakness but not 4x4s where the wheel is bolted to the rear door at an easily accessible height... (that's a point, I really should invest in at least one locking wheelnut!)

 

 

I used to work at a Citroen dealer and we'd have people coming in all the time who'd had theirs nicked. I think the local pikeys had worked out that a good kick in the right direction would free the carrier and give you a nice new Michelin

 

Sometimes on older Fords (fwd 'Scorts for instance), once the thread on the boot floor end of the carrier's rod rusted up, it was possible for an owner to unwittingly leave the carrier slack. Needless to say, it doesn't take ne'er-do-wells too long to work out that they can bend the rod off the carrier end, and pinch the spare. Saw a few cars like that, when I did Fords; it came as a surprise to a few folk when the 'rattling from the boot area' was explained to them!

[RoadworkUK]

'90s Peugeots, and many more besides have a terrifying STOP!!!!!1!11 light on the dashboard.

 

My girlfriend has a '95 306 1.4 XN (Xtra Nothingness) and the STOP!!!!!!1!11!!1 light comes on for the most trivial of issues, like the air freshener running out.

[CIH]

Yes, the spare should ALWAYS match the wheels on the road. He says, with four 15" alloys on the pickup and only the original 14" steel spare... My excuse is, I bought the wheels after the truck (and have the steels in my garage); manufacturers, what's your excuse? Apart from penny-pinching, of course...

 

Um, no they don't.......infact they rarely do with moderns having either the base model steel, space-saver or..........um.... no wheel at all......

[Polystratus]

Then there's the cars that don't have a temperature gauge, just a light. So the first time you'll know there's a problem is when it's too late

 

One my of friends had a Renault 5 Campus - no gauge just a red light, when the head gasket went that was it, the engine was truly cooked. It's becoming quite common on new cars not to have a temperature gauge. The Yaris I had as hire car couple of months ago just a thermometer symbol on the dash that said 'COLD' when first running. Also had one of those automatic stop-start, didn't see any difference in economy, and can't imagine it'll do the starter motor any good.

[dollywobbler]

Stop/Start really pisses me off. Queuing for Goodwood Revival one year in the boss's MINI diesel, it drove me and a colleague to distraction, because we kept shunting forward every few seconds. Happily, we soon found the button that disabled it!

 

I'm going to say traction control, even though it's already been said and even though someone reckoned it helped him in the snow. I really dislike it. To me, an off-roader should have lockable diffs - a 4x4 with a locked centre diff and limited slip rear diff is an amazing weapon. For traction control to work, you first have to lose traction to cause a wheel to spin. Then, you have to keep your foot down. If you're climbing over rocks, you lose a lot of tyre rubber and create a lot of smoke while the computer tries to work out which wheel to brake. It's not as quick a process as you'd hope.

 

Alternatively, have a car with no power. Seems to work for me!

[Guest Leonard Hatred]

Not many off roaders have LSDs.

[Richard]

I've had loads of cars with stop-start technology. I generally regarded it as a bad thing.

[dollywobbler]

Not many off roaders have LSDs.

 

Top spec Isuzu Troopers do (Citation) which is why I know that they're bloody marvellous (oops, local dialect creeping in!). I'd quite like my 90 to have one...

[Negative Creep]

I've had loads of cars with stop-start technology. I generally regarded it as a bad thing.

 

 

Me too. My Cortina, mk.2 Astra and Golf for example.

[CIH]

Hilux Surf have an LSD too, along with a fairly decent 5-link rear axle. I know because I was under one today.

[M'coli]

I've had loads of cars with stop-start technology. I generally regarded it as a bad thing.

Proper maintainance can reduce this tendancy.

[Pete-M]

For traction control to work, you first have to lose traction to cause a wheel to spin. Then, you have to keep your foot down. If you're climbing over rocks, you lose a lot of tyre rubber and create a lot of smoke while the computer tries to work out which wheel to brake. It's not as quick a process as you'd hope.

 

Ah, I drive differently to that. TC cannot help if you try to keep your foot down. It can only help when it can search for grip and have a chance of actually getting it. Full throttle, TC or not, on a car with a traction issue trying to climb over rocks will just cause wheelspin and / or a bit of slithering about from my experience. Range Rovers with TC work very well indeed, and the ABS works down to something daft like 3.5 mph. Helps a lot if you work with it. Doesn't help at all if you work against it. You don't need a huge variation in wheelspeeds to kick in a decent TC system, if three wheels are virtually still and the other one is going nuts it's pretty bloody obvious there's a grip deficit and the car will work that out long before tyre smoke and wheelspin in a 4x4. If the TC system detects one wheel doing 5 mph and the other three doing zero it'll start doing something about it straight away, provided you don't spin that wheel up to 40 mph by giving it full throttle. P38a Range Rovers detect the difference in wheel speeds when being driven off a kerb at parking speed and they're fired up and ready to go straight away at walking pace and the TC system is detecting about 1/3 of a single wheel rotating more than the others and trying to sort it quietly in the back ground. This is almost unnoticeable from inside the car, but plug the ABS computer into a diagnostic machine and check it out.. Clever stuff, indeed.

 

How people get stuck off road is beyond me. I've not managed it for years, and it's not been for the lack of trying.

 

Same with my car in the recent snow. With TC on and light throttle openings there was no problem getting enough traction to move off from a standstill. With TC on and heavy throttle openings it just lit up the rear tyres and went nowhere whilst trying to murder the rear brake pads - and the car has an LSD as standard. With TC off it needed much lighter throttle openings than with it on, otherwise wheelspin was all too easy and traction wasn't going to happen.

 

TC is a pain unless you work with it, once the technique of working with it has been sussed it rarely gets in the way. Doesn't work with full throttle stuff or rapid throttle inputs, they tend to cause it to bog down and get in the way. Feel for grip and work with it and it's an ace invention.

[Richard]

The traction control on the Transit doesn't work like that, all it does is shut the throttle down and lose any forward momentum you might have had. When approaching an icy hill you have to remember to switch the TC off before you get to the dodgy bit.

 

The Transit's ABS is similarly useless and will get you in real trouble if you let it. It's also got this thing of taking over when it thinks you are doing an emergency stop, which it sometimes combines with the deathtrap ABS and the TC to render the pedals useless. I can't wait until they invent "mother knows best" steering to complete the set.

 

Traction control on an ordinary road car is a nice easy way for the design team to tell the world they are incapable of making a car that can pull itself along.

[Guest Leonard Hatred]

The traction control on Sprinter-shape VW LTs works like Pete-M's example, it doesn't act quickly enough to stop the spinning wheel breaking the surface on wet grass as I found out. It still handled itself a lot better than a RWD Transit pick-up off the beaten path.

[Pete-M]

The traction control on the Transit doesn't work like that, all it does is shut the throttle down and lose any forward momentum you might have had.

 

The Jag pushes the throttle pedal back at you before it tries to brake any individual wheels. Basically says "Behave" before turning all

 

[155V6]

Yes, the spare should ALWAYS match the wheels on the road. He says, with four 15" alloys on the pickup and only the original 14" steel spare... My excuse is, I bought the wheels after the truck (and have the steels in my garage); manufacturers, what's your excuse? Apart from penny-pinching, of course...

 

Um, no they don't.......infact they rarely do with moderns having either the base model steel, space-saver or..........um.... no wheel at all......

My MG didn't come with a spare,because the proper sized tyre (205/45 17)won't fit in the well which was designed for a Rover wheel.When it was new,it came with a can of tyre repair,or an optional space-saver.

[Peter C]

My MR2 has 4 positions on the light stalk - off, a line, sides and dipped. I couldn't work out what the second position does, it does turn any of the lights on or even raise the headlamps. So I looked in the manual and sure enough "this position has no function". Only thing I can think of is marker lights for other markets but other than that I have no idea why it's there.

 

I haven't flicked through the full 8 pages of this thread so forgive me if this has already been responded to.

 

The position that has no function is there to allow replacement of headlight bulbs. Leaving the stalk in this position allows the pop-up headlights to be left in the up position with all other lights switched off. Simple really.

[dollywobbler]

The traction control on the Transit doesn't work like that, all it does is shut the throttle down and lose any forward momentum you might have had. When approaching an icy hill you have to remember to switch the TC off before you get to the dodgy bit.

 

That sounds like my own personal experience of TC. Take our driveway - I would have liked to see if a car with TC stood any chance because the only way I could get up it in the snow was to have wheelspin and keep adjusting the throttle pressure - never removing it entirely but easing off if the spin got excessive. If it snows again, I'm going to have to beg/steal/borrow something with TC and see how it compares!

[Pillock]

The 2001 Saxo I used to bum around in was the first car I've ever had without a temp guage (aircooled excluded)... since then I've noticed it more and more. Neither the Corsa SRI or the new shape Astra had one.

 

To me it's part of being a driver - knowing what the car should be doing, and responding to any odd behaviour. If the temperature starts to creep up, you back off a bit and if it continues you pull over and take a look.

If the red light comes on, it's more a case of getting your mobile out to ring recovery than it is opening the bonnet. Too late! It's like ditching the fuel gauge and just having a light..... a light that means "totally dry".

[Formula Autos]

Sometimes pointless features are great, such as the Allegro's quartic wheel, the Alfa 90's built-in briefcase, and the Almera's curry-hook.

 

They're all guaranteed to raise a smile in years to come, and arguably add character (much needed in the case of the Almera).

 

As for safety features, parking aids and sat-nav they all ultimately have a point - keeping the generally useless crop of current drivers safely on the road, heading the right way, and not backing into others' cars. I know everyone should have decent driving, navigational and parking skills before being let loose on the roads but, lets face it, most don't.

 

Imagine every car on the road not having ABS, traction control, etc. - everyone on Autoshite would probably get by OK, only to eventually be hit by someone who needed such things.