Fixed penalty (3 points & £60) for the following...

[Louise2cv]

People who make no effort to park in the lines in a parking space should have their car taken off them.

[scaryoldcortina]

People who park their cars along main streets when it's snowy so they don't have to clear their back lane should have their cars lifted and crushed without warrning. Mostly they are on double yellow lines, except the lines are buried under the snow. You can also bet that the road is a bus route, and there now isn't room for two buses to pass each other. The people who decide to go to the shop, and park on the double yellow opposite the row of cars that shouldn't be there and hence block off the road entirely should be shot.

 

There. I feel better now.

[richardthestag]

Crikey moses what a great thread. Maybe we could get a list printed off like one of those old I-spy books that me and my sibs used to fight over on journeys long or short. How many of these offenses have you committed - most of em?

 

You forgot the inconsiderate bastard who screen washes at 70 in the middlety lane because you now have spots of screen wash and have to do it yourself mindful that you are now that inconsiderate twat and so forth

 

And where is the brake test!! Cummon must have boiled somebodies piss - "hangings too good for em yer onner!". grew out of that when I was 18 m'lud . Had it done to me but then I was tailgating the bastard because I regrettably let the red mist decend.

 

These days when somebody is in danger of pissing me off I let em past rather than let that red mist decend, I make it a rule not to become part of someone elses accident - been there and done that

[Cavcraft]

Tell you what does my box in. There's a sign on a bypass saying roadworks seven miles ahead (exaggeratin but you get the point) and the right hand lane will filter in to the left at this point, so some smary looking twat in a truck/van/car blocks the right hand lane the full seven bastarding miles before the lanes merge.

Yes, I do know some people will drive up right until their lane is filtering out then rudely shove in, but not everyone does and it keeps roundabouts further back a bit clearer.

[chaseracer]

People who make no effort to park in the lines in a parking space should have their car taken off them.

When I got into Stafford after meetings a couple of days ago, the only space left was next to a Nissan X-Trail which had been abandoned with its driver's side a good foot over the line. If I parked an inch or so away, the Blingo would fit centrally between the lines. So that's what I did. Got back later to find this under the wiper: "You could not have parked more thoughtlessly!"

 

Oh, the irony...

 

Actually, owner of PF57CWA, I put a lot of thought into my parking on that occasion. A pity you didn't...

[morris_ital_lover]

Some people driving trucks need a smack. A friend of mine was almost killed last week when a truck landed on top of her Pug 407 (it was on the TV news). Dickwad in the HGV was going too fast, and clipped the kerb. Might is not always right.

I saw that in the news it looked horrific....

 

I would probably give out 3 points etc out for having a twatish bodykit, but most importantly driving around at any time after 11PM (which is when police etc have to turn their sirens off) with speakers/exhaust loud enough to rattle windows.

 

m0rris

[dieselnutjob]

I do know some people will drive up right until their lane is filtering out then rudely shove in

 

I don't think it's rude at all. Why is the tarmac there if you can't drive on it? If they wanted you to merge 1/2 mile before then surely they would put the cones 1/2 mile before. The problem is that not everyone is playing by the same rules so the ones that think the rule is to merge stupidly early think that those who don't are cheating.

 

In London it works perfectly because everyone has the same rule, drive right up to the cones and merge there. Everyone understands, no one thinks it's unfair.

[warren t claim]

Wow! I thought I was the sort of person to get angry!

 

I class myself as a bit of a libertarian when it comes to traffic enforcement, in fact I wouldn't even bother with a drink drive limit. As far as I'm concerned if you kill someone whilst pissed behind the wheel you should be charged with manslaughter and face the consequences.

 

3 points for snow on your roof? If any of you fancy climbing up on top of a 15' high double deck trailer and brushing the snow off then give me a call, I'll be waiting with my camcorder.

 

I wish people in this country didn't have such a "North European" attitude to traffic rules.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

I've been driving 25 years. I don't speed, I do have a fag (involving finding/lighting it), I chuck 'em out of the window if there's nothing following too closely (don't want stinking butts in the ashtray) but would never throw anything else out - well, apple cores etc are okay. I use the correct lights, don't cut anyone up but I do expect a certain standard of driving from others....which of course is unreasonable because there are so many fucking idiots who are either extremely aggressive or very stupid.

With regard to shoving in at the coned off roadworks, it's just poor manners. If you do it, you're a cunt.

[eddyramrod]

there are so many fucking idiots who are either extremely aggressive or very stupid.

 

And THERE is the entire problem! Well identified sir!

[chaseracer]

Driving in Europe over the summer - especially in Germany - was a joy. The lane discipline and general consideration of other road users to the collective advantage of all was completely refreshing.

 

Then I came back to the M20...

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Driving in Europe over the summer - especially in Germany - was a joy. The lane discipline and general consideration of other road users to the collective advantage of all was completely refreshing.

 

Then I came back to the M20...

 

That's true, but Holland is awful - they can't drive for shit and there's so much aggression. Belgium is just scary but France isn't too bad. Consideration for other road users is what's missing in the UK. It's me me me me. Nothing to do with anyone driving Audis either. The two twats I encounted this week were in a Saab 9-3 and a Galaxy.

[Negative Creep]

Try visiting Dubai.........the UK motorist is a driving God by comparison!

[chaseracer]

...Holland is awful - they can't drive for shit and there's so much aggression...

True. Amsterdam was bloody terrifying, even worse than Paris! Maybe they should have a schmoke...

 

Disclaimer: Obviously, none of the above applies to Michiel!

[Vin]

During these dark winter months, I don't like it when drivers in front of me sit on the brake pedal at junctions instead of using the handbrake, thus dazzling me with their brake lights......

[Lankytim]

And texting and driving is not illegal.

 

RONG! Even holding a mobile phone is classed as use and attracts a 3 points plus a fine.

[dieselnutjob]

I've had that argument before as well.

If you go into London in the morning it is shuffle 10ft, stop, shuffle 10ft, stop, shuffle 10ft, stop

are you supposed to put your handbrake on every 10ft for 16 miles?

[Albert Ross]

I've had that argument before as well.

If you go into London in the morning it is shuffle 10ft, stop, shuffle 10ft, stop, shuffle 10ft, stop

are you supposed to put your handbrake on every 10ft for 16 miles?

 

Yes.

[Tayne]

.

[M'coli]

People who make no effort to park in the lines in a parking space should have their car taken off them.

When I got into Stafford after meetings a couple of days ago, the only space left was next to a Nissan X-Trail which had been abandoned with its driver's side a good foot over the line. If I parked an inch or so away, the Blingo would fit centrally between the lines. So that's what I did. Got back later to find this under the wiper: "You could not have parked more thoughtlessly!"

 

Oh, the irony...

 

Actually, owner of PF57CWA, I put a lot of thought into my parking on that occasion. A pity you didn't...

I think it's only fair to dig out this photo of how I left my Metro in a lay-by car park on Skye some years ago:

[M'coli]

I've had that argument before as well.

If you go into London in the morning it is shuffle 10ft, stop, shuffle 10ft, stop, shuffle 10ft, stop

are you supposed to put your handbrake on every 10ft for 16 miles?

 

Yes.

Yes.

[Negative Creep]

If you're sitting in a queue of traffic then a true Autoshiter will be far more worried about the temperature gauge than anything else

[Pillock]

I do know some people will drive up right until their lane is filtering out then rudely shove in

 

I don't think it's rude at all. Why is the tarmac there if you can't drive on it? If they wanted you to merge 1/2 mile before then surely they would put the cones 1/2 mile before. The problem is that not everyone is playing by the same rules so the ones that think the rule is to merge stupidly early think that those who don't are cheating.

 

In London it works perfectly because everyone has the same rule, drive right up to the cones and merge there. Everyone understands, no one thinks it's unfair.

 

I had this exact same thought some time ago, when one lane of the A61 was coned off. Except it was coned off after a junction where I wanted to turn right, so I hooned it down the clear right hand lane. Some pompous knob in a Discovery pulled out yards in front of me and then stayed alongside his gap, purely to block my progress.

 

It so happened that he pulled forward when the guy who had been behind him, and was alongside me, wasn't paying attention.... so I nipped in his gap. He did NOT like that! He ended up dropping in behind me, lights flashing and horn going, and I pulled back out and drove the remaining 200 yards to the junction.

[ChinaTom]

Stop all this anti-smoking nazi stuff. It's a vice - it is definitely very bad for you, but hey, some of us like it. I won't smoke in the car if there are non-smokers in there with me, and I have a leather-rich interior so the car doesn't stink. If it did, my mother would never get in it. I tend to keep a plastic tumbler quarter filled with water and spent coffee grinds from the percolator to dump the stubs in and empty it into a bin when I stop.

 

Up in HeiLongJiang province in China, people chew raw garlic all day. After a few cloves followed by a few belches, I guarantee you will be begging for the smell of a B&H!

 

And, pipe smoke is great too.

 

I can cope with the smoking in public ban - not a bad idea really. But when I'm in my car, alone, minding my own business, let me have a bloody fag.

 

I just cannot fathom why we can drive while navigating our way through climate control sub-menus, but can't press 9 buttons and speak into a plastic box.

 

So what's the score with finger-tapping a post-code into a TomTom while driving then? Is that illegal as well?

[Rocket88]

Many of the above problems would be solved if people were taught to drive, not just to pass a test. Modern stuff is just too easy to drive. Everyone should be made to learn to drive in a vehicle with no power steering, unassisted brakes, and a crash gearbox............

[chaseracer]

Everyone should be made to learn to drive in a vehicle with no power steering, unassisted brakes, and a crash gearbox............

Learned and passed in a mk1 Fiesta, then bought a Citroen Dyane. Close enough...

[eddyramrod]

Everyone should be made to learn to drive in a vehicle with no power steering, unassisted brakes, and a crash gearbox............

Learned and passed in a mk1 Fiesta, then bought a Citroen Dyane. Close enough...

 

+1 on the Fezza (and family 1963 Triumph Herald), and then a freebie laid-up 1960 Austin A40. And yes, everyone should; cars ARE much too easy to drive these days (except BMWs with that ridiculous useless silver knob thing) and certainly far too capable, even the FWD ones. Humans 1, technology nil.

[pompei]

I've driven in Italy a few times (including Naples and Palermo) and once you get used to the free-for-all mentality, it's fine. I found that despite all the honking and gesticulating, there was never any "road rage" in the sense that we understand it.

 

I thought Holland was ok too, but France - fugging nightmare, especially in a Fiat 500 on the motorway.

[M'coli]

There are a lot of people who need to be stopped and given 3 points for number plates obscured by dirt - it doesn't take a lot to keep it clean enough to read. However, this would mean that they couldn't jump red-light cameras etcetera.

[Richard]

I never clean my number plates unless I'm washing the whole car. I know what my number is and it's nobody else's business.