What in your view are the most pointless cars

[garycox]

Volkswagen Fox - never saw the need to fill a range gap between Lupo and Polo, at least in Europe. I think sales figures reflect this!

 

Didn't the Fox replace the Lupo?

[Volksy]

I think it overlapped for a very short period, but in essence yes..

 

GR9 move VW, replace a reasonably fun, quite well made little car with a shonkily constructed import from Brazil..

[Pillock]

I can't think of anything utterly pointless in itself, but I find the generally the amount of models, engines etc offered by most manufacturers these days perplexing at times.

 

Popular

L

GL

GLS

Ghia

Sport

 

950

1.1

1.3

1.6

 

That'll do

 

Actually, these days the trim levels seem to be more cut down rather than more extensive, but then the options list has gone ballistic to make up for it. So you can have a "base model" Focus (not base model in the true, plastic seats and no fag lighter sense) but add loads of stuff to it like leather, alloys, Sony hifi, remote this and electric that. Makes buying secondhand a nightmare, in the olden days you knew a GL had central locking and a Ghia had electric windows. Now, anything can have anything.

 

And I'm sure there's fewer engine sizes than there were, although now they all get tweaked for power output. VW are prime suspect with their daft coloured letters on the bootlid to tell you if you've got 5bhp more than the car parked next to you.

 

Anyhow, pointless cars? 5-seater "people carriers". What, pray tell, does a Picasso/Fusion/S-Max/Agila/Golf+ do that the regular hatchbacks don't? Other than allow you to wear a top hat. There's others too, there's an Astra-sized one. And the S-Max may be the C-Max, or are they both pointless? Will there be a Golf++ that is even taller?

[Guest]

Kübelwagen.

[Justin Case]

Why should a car have to have a point in any case, after all this is Autoshite. Until very recently I had the only estate car with a smaller boot than the saloon it was based on but it was far more fun than the 'proper' estate car which has replaced it.

[garycox]

the only estate car with a smaller boot than the saloon it was based on.

 

What was that?

[Richard]

This may grate a bit but ive always struggled with Capri,s , especially the 1.3 or 1.6 jobbys , not that i wouldnt have one in a heartbeat mind

 

To me Capris are supposed to be about show without go and as such the 1300 and 1600 are the only true Capris IMO.

[Pete-M]

the only estate car with a smaller boot than the saloon it was based on.

 

What was that?

 

I'd guess at an E30 touring.

 

Having said that, I got tons of stuff in the back of mine with the seats down, you can't do that in the saloon. I also think the Touring looks a lot better than the saloon anyway.

[Cavcraft]

Imprezza 'Wagons' had a piss poor amount of boot space for an estate car too.

[Negative Creep]

Picasso, Scenic, Golf Plus, Modus and so on. It's nothing more than a slightly taller 5 door hatchback which by law must have bald tyres, at least one brake light out and part at an angle greater than 30 degrees. Also anything advertised as "lifestyle" which will invariable show some cool looking adults grabbing their surf/snow boards for a rad time and 99% of cars badged as "sport". A pair of front wanker lights and some alloys don't mean your diesel hatch is a sports car

[chaseracer]

Can we invite E_R back for this one?

 

For me, any kind of "supercar".

O RLY?

 

 

[catsinthewelder]

Another vote for 5 seat people carriers here, the 7 seaters are a reason to stop at 3 kids WTF is the point of looking like a twat when they don't carry more peeps than a Fiesta

 

the only estate car with a smaller boot than the saloon it was based onquote]

 

Alfa 156?

 

I remember selling a chair on fleabay, woman phones to ask directions and if it'll fit in her car without mentioning what she drove. So I sez yes based on the fact that it would have fitted in my 205 3 times over.

Couldn't believe it when she turned up in an X90, we got it in but it did take a while

[Guest]

Ambulances.

[ProgRocker]

In the mid 2000s, SEAT went on something of a mini-MPV frenzy. They thought that a SEAT Altea may not be quite big enough. So later on they brought out the Altea XL...which was rather pointless with a Toledo MPV in the range.

 

And again on SEAT MPVs, only recently have they replaced the Alhambra with a brand new model. The original dates back to 1994!

 

SEAT could do with an Arosa replacement...so long as its nothing like the aforementioned VW Fox!

[boobydoo]

FSO Polonez.....cos it was a hatchback but with no folding rear seat.

 

DUH!

[eddyramrod]

I was sitting here, all set to agree with 9 out of 10 of Watanabe's list (first page) and then I saw Alfisti's comment: this is Autoshite! Pointless is what we're about! To which end, the X90 is a total Autoshite car. As are several of the others mentioned. Maybe circumstances are an issue? I live with Mrs Ramrod and... well, that's it. Two of us. Why do we need three cars? And why do we need big cars, for just two of us? At one point before we left UK, we had 5! And 3 were American. There's no logical point to me having a 38-year-old Ford Granada, with all those big comfy seats and a hunky V6, when my basic needs could easily be filled by a 1992 Fiat Uno, or even an X90. But one doesn't always buy just to satisfy basic needs; one buys to satisfy wants or preferences, or even simply to grab an opportunity that won't knock again. Well you do if you're an Autoshiter, anyway...

 

Which item on Wat's list would I disagree with? Number 9, the Citroen DS. All it needs is a Mazda Wankel and a CVT trans, and it would be the car it always should have been: a complete vision of the future.

 

Oh, and boobydoo: both my Polonez and my dad's had folding rear seats.

[boobydoo]

 

Oh, and boobydoo: both my Polonez and my dad's had folding rear seats.

 

The early ones didn't...it was rectified later!!

[eddyramrod]

Actually I knew that, a mate tried to sell me a 79 model when it was about 10 years old, and I remember being amazed that the seat didn't fold. I think we'll call that 50-50!

[wuvvum]

Which item on Wat's list would I disagree with? Number 9, the Citroen DS. All it needs is a Mazda Wankel and a CVT trans, and it would be the car it always should have been: a complete vision of the future.

I don't think Wat was talking about the DS, I think he was talking about the total irrelevance (and therefore guaranteed futureshite) that is the DS3. This thing:

 

[Guest]

Clown cars.

[eddyramrod]

Wuvvum... they're not serious? What a miserable, pointless waste of resources. OK, consider point 9 reinstated, and thanks for the pic. That isn't one I'll be saving to my computer...

[Guest]

Which item on Wat's list would I disagree with? Number 9, the Citroen DS. All it needs is a Mazda Wankel and a CVT trans, and it would be the car it always should have been: a complete vision of the future.

I don't think Wat was talking about the DS, I think he was talking about the total irrelevance (and therefore guaranteed futureshite) that is the DS3. This thing:

 

 

Right on wuvs. I have no problem with Mr.Bertoni's Goddess.

 

The mutated abortion of a melted Jimmy Choo and bullfrog amalgam I have a great deal of hatred for. Where does one start?

 

1. Is it the completely half arsed 'homage' to the New Mini?

 

2. Will it be the total lack of durability and attention to detail that will infuriate owners?

 

3. Is the utter lack of care and willingness to admit there's a problem that will occur when the stupid thing goes wrong at the dealership (because of point 2)?

 

4. Or is it perhaps that the 'DS' tag is a total lost cause on the target demographic? Some triple figure PR kid really earned his money that day when he managed to come up with a name that would piss off owners of the original and fly straight over the backcombed new build cappuccino mindset of the idiots who would consider buying one of these things.

 

To date I've seen two. That's enough. A friend whom I once respected has bought one. Strangely, it's managed to knacker a wheel bearing and begun rattling in 6 months of the gentlest driving ever.

 

How very fucking peculiar, what?

[Negative Creep]

Aside from the stupidly bright LED xmas lights, I really like the design of the DS3

[CIH]

We had a regular C3 in work today. Apparantly there's a recall as the ECU has a habit of shutting off all the lights...

[Guest]

Aside from the stupidly bright LED xmas lights, I really like the design of the DS3

 

And I thought I'd taken too many prescription drugs.

[George-Roper]

We had a regular C3 in work today. Apparantly there's a recall as the ECU has a habit of shutting off all the lights...

 

http://www.dft.gov.uk/vosa/apps/recalls/default.asp

 

It has been identified that the position of the exterior lighting control ring may not be detected by the lighting management system and the lights may switch off without warning.

[Formula Autos]

Mini Moke.

 

In the UK, at least.

 

Absolutely useless off-road, and it managed to turn the (mostly brilliant) experience of driving a Mini into something far scarier and draughtier.

 

However, if I lived somewhere hot I no doubt would think very differently about them. A wet Wednesday in Whitehaven tends to put you off the idea of open cars.

[George-Roper]

 

Poinless in this country anyway / also see

 

[wuvvum]

It has been identified that the position of the exterior lighting control ring may not be detected by the lighting management system and the lights may switch off without warning.

 

Why the fuck do you need a "lighting management system"? What's wrong with a fucking switch? Fucking modern cars.

[eddyramrod]

Mini Mokes are quite popular over here, but then it is a hot country... In fact my local garage has two hiding among the assorted shite in the orchard, and until the owner collected it last week, had been rebuilding a third! But yeah, in general, they do seem a bit pointless, they really really should have had four-wheel-drive. Hmm, among the orchard shite is a random, variable and growing number of Suzuki Jeeps....