New dullard HDi shite c/o SHITLY

[Mr_Bo11ox]

YO, I am getting a new car shortly and its the newest i've ever had. Dont get excited though as it is thoroughly shite.

 

 

Citroen Xsara 2.0 HDi, X-reg. This is Mutha_ & Stepfatha_Bo11ox's transport, or it was, until stepfatha_Bo11ox was unfortunatley killed in a plane crash last year. Mutha_B does not drive so the car has just sat for a year gathering dust ever since. Its a UK one (RHD) but on french number plates, however its still on the DVLA computer and I have applied for a logbook based on its old reg no. TBH I was not all that fussed about it, in France its worth nowt as its RHD and the carte grise has been lost, so its spares only really, but it was a pretty smart car and i felt a bit miserable telling mutha down the phone to just scrap it, so instead I have chucked £400 at SHITLY to have it brought home!!!

 

 

I bartered the guy down from £650 however so alls good. Rather him than me though, I dont know what other missions he's got on but I wouldnt fancy carting that back across france on a single-wheel oldskool transit truck, even for £400. Anyway its got picked up today and is coming back to blighty, I have orderd some (pressed alloy of course) UK reg plates for it, need a NS headlight (LHD ones are fitted) and I shall probably do the cambelt before pressing it into service, w00t!

 

Its come at the right time as i think my Rover is probably b0rked, I have sort of lost the will to live a bit with that fuggin old thing.

[Guest]

Looks pretty attractive with those wheels on, too attractive for you to be honest.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Wait will i get an angle iron towbar on there and drag some snotters around on the A, that will correct the attarctiveness issue.

[Lord Sterling]

Nice one Mr Bol. You gonna be using it as a daily? Are you still thinking of grabbing yourself some Big Money Shite for your new job?

[Mr Lobster]

2.0 HDi should pull that along pretty rapidly I'd have thought. Does look decent on them wheels as well.

[Milford Cubicle]

Xsaras are pretty good cars, they are basically a 306 in a Victorian bathing suit. Is it a 90 or 110?

[retrogeezer]

I like them...prefer the styling of the earlier ones tbh but I do like Citroens.

Most people won't touch them but I've had no trouble with the couple I have had over the last 15 years.

 

Oh, and sorry about the fatha-in-law.

[nigel bickle]

Yawn.

 

Oops no sorry-really. Nice. Honest.

 

Yep.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Xsaras are pretty good cars, they are basically a 306 in a Victorian bathing suit. Is it a 90 or 110?

Pretty certain its a 90 (short wheelbase)

[Lankytim]

That looks class. There was an article in 'Car Mechanics' mag a few months ago banging on about how great the Xsara is, whoever wrote the article must be obsessed by them. Infact it nearly made me go out and buy one as they look super value on e.bay.

 

Sorry to hear about your stepdad- sounds dreadful.

 

P.S I still have the A here, its all ready for whenever you want it back!

[dollywobbler]

They're decent tools alright, not exciting but good at what they do.

[pogweasel]

 

Pretty certain its a 90 (short wheelbase)

GROFFLE!

 

I would roll one of these FO SHO.

[Father Ted]

Shame its not a Xantia HDi, but the 90 is very unstressed and will cope with galactic mileages. The Xsara is a nice little car to drive.

 

For added fun you can fit a tuning box in line with the HP pump and they do get a little bit mental, but to be honest for what they cost and the faff fitting it (the connector is buried way way down the frnt of the block & you need girly hands to fit it) its not worth it really unless you hapen across a second hand one cheap.

 

But make sure its for the right injection system - Bosch or Siemens.

[Pillock]

90 is probably best choice in that, they get away without the HORRORZ of the dual mass flywheel and seem a little bit less prone to typical French "zut alors" random faults.

 

The 90bhp one I had in the shape of a 307SW was far too heavy though.

[Richard]

Does the 110 Xsara have a DMF? The Xantia doesn't.

[Pillock]

I thought so, but then I was told all the 110 models across PSA had them so maybe I've been fed a lie.

[Richard]

Maybe I'm the one who's been fed a lie, I never actually saw the flywheel on my Xantia.

 

Edit- just checked the Citroen Service site and confirmed that the 110HDi versions of both the Xantia and Xsara have solid flywheels.

[Pillock]

No, I insist. I'm the liar.

[Albert Ross]

I'm not a liar. Nor am I. But I am though.

[Station]

They're ace, they actually look like a -brand new- model.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I'm glad we are now clear on who's lying and who isnt, as this site has given me a fear of dual mass flywheels, so i'm pleased to hear the Xsara does not benefit from this advance in technology that costs several times the price of the system it is an incremental improvement over.

[carlo]

I'd like to know how this thing drives when you get it as I'm seriously looking to get one of these in the 110 HDI automatic version. It certainly has all I need i.e auto, cruise, economy etc and should go pretty well with the 110 installed even in automatic guise. In fact if it drives just like a 306 it could be the perfect car - they never did an auto diesel 306. Then again if it's as reliable as Mrs Carlo's 306 DT that's a different story!

[trigger]

I quite like that, I think the wheel look pretty fly too.

 

Sorry to hear about your stepdad but at least he left you some proper autoshite to play with.

[dieselnutjob]

I'd like to know how this thing drives when you get it as I'm seriously looking to get one of these in the 110 HDI automatic version. It certainly has all I need i.e auto, cruise, economy etc and should go pretty well with the 110 installed even in automatic guise. In fact if it drives just like a 306 it could be the perfect car - they never did an auto diesel 306. Then again if it's as reliable as Mrs Carlo's 306 DT that's a different story!

the 110 auto got the Siemens AL4 tranmission which likes to self destruct. A better bet is the 406 2.2 HDI auto which got the much stronger ZF 4HP20 transmission, but also got a particulate filter. However the particulate filters are becoming increasingly easy to get rid of (software update and smash the middle out of the dpf)

Even the 4HP20 will eventually die but can be made to live longer by swapping out the special ESSO LT oil every now and again (i.e. ignore the "sealed for life" lie)

[Mr_Bo11ox]

YO, the XSZSARAH arrived last night. At 1am!!!

 

 

Its a very nice car actually, or seems to be. 88k on it, 100% original, runs lovely, its got air con, no dents or shitty repairs, blah blah blah. Just needs a bit of recommissioning after sitting for so long, I reckon i will do the cambelt and change the oil while i'm on. Its even got a Rover-esque crummy bit of wood trim nailed to the dashboard.

 

Also, this is my first experience of using SHITLY. Here is how I got on.

 

1) List the job on there, get a few quotes, select one and pay a deposit (£40 + £10 shiply fee). Shiply small print: 'you are entering a contract with your chosen shipper not with SHIPLY. SHIPLY are not responsible for any fuggin clever shit that they might get up to, we are just offering a service to connect buyers with sellers' or some such guff.

2) Completely fail to elicit any response whatsoever from the guy who made the quote. Get a couple of half arsed emails off him, his phone doesnt work, basically the guy is fuggin hopeless, although his feedback is pretty good. Give him a couple of ultimatums to give me a fookin phone number,, fail to get one, then fook him off and leave a neg feedback after 2.5 weeks of waiting. Then an email arrives complaining about the neg, and I get negged back! Twat.

3) Complain to shiply who tell me to relist it. I do, accept another quote and pay another 10% deposit, plus £20 to shiply (a 100% increase on their fee for the previous job, cheers for that, obviously learned from the masters of web extortion, EBAY).

4) Ask for my money back off the first job from Shiply using thier 'live chat' thing. To my surprise, they agree there and then and refund it within about 5 mins.

4) Ring the guy who made the new quote. He immediately launches into a diatribe about what a disgrace shiply is, how the deposit is kept by them and never reaches him. Anyway he accepted the job on the terms as they were, and so he is in agreement to get on with it.

5) Sit back and wait. This guy has a blackberry and sends an update every now and then with how he's getting on, which is pretty neat, he can even tell me when the wheel bearing has gone on his truck! 2 day delay, no big deal though.

6) Get a message one morning on my work computer, 'Hi mate, will be collecting the Xsara at about 3 am' !!!! Like my fuggin mutha is gonna get involved in that. Luckily i'm reading this message at 9am and he'd already decided to park up for the night after not getting any response from me or mi mutha, ha ha.

7) car is collected, no worries.

8 - Come out the pub last night, where there was no signal, to find half a dozen messages on my phone off the driver, 'Yeah ETA is midnight' etc, he was shitting that he was gonna get there and no-one would be around at midnight, fortunately for him, I had not gone to sleep and switched my fuggin phone off. magicked £360 out of nowhere in the middle of the night to pay him. He unloads car, seems very affable, I pay him and off he goes.

 

To be fair I got the car delivered from Muthaville, France to Wisbech (550 miles) within a week for £400 which I think is pretty decent value despite the arsing about so can't really complain as a user of shiply.

 

The shipper swore blind that the 10% deposit I paid, never gets paid to him, despite shiply clearly stating when i paid it, that it is going to the shipper not them. They charged an extra £20 that was supposed to be their cut. I have to say, I believed him, and when I complained about the first job, Shiply refunded that deposit immediately which I think they would not have been able to do if the money had gone directly to the shipper.

 

That sounds a bit dodgy to me I must say, if they are telling me i'm paying money to the shipper when theyre actually keeping it. I guess to be certain if they are up to this, you'd have to set up a shipper's account and award yourself a job and see if the deposit went missing. Has anyone else used this Shiply service?

[ChinaTom]

I used it to get the Jag to Spixworth (~25 miles) and it was a fairly painless service. A Dereham company won the bid against a company from Bury St Eds. Initially no response so I called the chap who was pretty affable. I mentioned the deposit, and said precisely the same - never sees it. 3 missed appointments, but eventually a double barrel transporter arrives. It had just delivered a load of Toyotas to Attleborough and took mine on a brief detour on his way back to Dereham. Really nice chaps, just earning a bit extra in the gaps as and when they can. Nearest local chap was nearly twice the price; I was in no desperate hurry and so there was some value in having to endure their changeable schedule.

 

TBH I'd use them again, but probably it will be a case of going direct to the Dereham chaps and bypassing Shiply unless they say they can't do it and I have no choice.

[carlo]

I'd like to know how this thing drives when you get it as I'm seriously looking to get one of these in the 110 HDI automatic version. It certainly has all I need i.e auto, cruise, economy etc and should go pretty well with the 110 installed even in automatic guise. In fact if it drives just like a 306 it could be the perfect car - they never did an auto diesel 306. Then again if it's as reliable as Mrs Carlo's 306 DT that's a different story!

the 110 auto got the Siemens AL4 tranmission which likes to self destruct. A better bet is the 406 2.2 HDI auto which got the much stronger ZF 4HP20 transmission, but also got a particulate filter. However the particulate filters are becoming increasingly easy to get rid of (software update and smash the middle out of the dpf)

Even the 4HP20 will eventually die but can be made to live longer by swapping out the special ESSO LT oil every now and again (i.e. ignore the "sealed for life" lie)

I'd love to get a 406 2.2 HDI auto but they never made them, the only auto diesel 406 was the 2.0 HDI 110! So if I want a fairly rapid PSA auto diesel it will have to be a Xsara or C5. And you're right about the boxes, I made sure I changed the oil on my '98 406 2.0 petrol auto (think that has the AL4 box?)

[dieselnutjob]

I'd love to get a 406 2.2 HDI auto but they never made them, the only auto diesel 406 was the 2.0 HDI 110! So if I want a fairly rapid PSA auto diesel it will have to be a Xsara or C5. And you're right about the boxes, I made sure I changed the oil on my '98 406 2.0 petrol auto (think that has the AL4 box?)

Didn't know that. Anyway that's kind of why I bought a 607 2.2 HDI auto. They are very slow off the line though. The performance is fine at higher speeds but first gear seems too high on the auto and it takes ages for the the turbo to wake up. Busy roundabout are a bit of a nightmare.

Oh and 2.2 HDIs seem to like to snap their cambelts for some reason. On the 8 valves this normally just breaks some rocker arms, but on the 16V ones it normally bends valves. The get the head off you have to get the inlet manifold off (it coveres the head bolts) and to get that off the injectors have to come out and often they just won't, so maybe the AL4 trans just comes with different issues now I think about it....

I will also be changing cambelts on my 607 every 50k miles and I hope it's often enough

[Milford Cubicle]

The Xsara doesn't look out of place next to the 'stacker' 929 weirdly. How's progress with that?

[CIH]

the bollox garage looks like it was once sombody's house...