VW's finest shite. Das Shiteauto Polo Wankermobile

[MVX11V]

Like I've been using a certain super saloon to drive to my new place of business. Said business is down miles of single track roads, fenland, and bendy lanes which are slightly not quite wide enough for a car and a van to pass. This is giving me heart palpitations and I've already had a bit of bush touch my mirror... Bush as in hedgerow you filthy animals.

So, I decided to get something more suitable.

Low and behold an absolutely minging car, running on two (it only has three) came my way. 

Parts have already been acquired: (img courtesy of the bay)

It has severe rust on the bonnet, eml is on, flashes for imminent cat damage, the door mirror has been booted off, one wheel trim has fucked off, and someone has failed to steal the roof aerial. 

I have spent £80 on it to fix it up and it came with half a tank.

Plans are to make it look less like council estate pool car fodder and fit some all weather tyres to it, then not give a shit about it as I take it off road on the way to work.

I had polos back in the 90s. This is nowhere near as good as those, but it is the newest car I've ever owned.

VK08VUJ for the lickerz.

 

 

[Dave_Q]

I recently had one of these with the same engine and similar symptoms, apparently these 1.2 3 pots are absolute dogshit and like to burn exhaust valves. And for a 1.2 pez they're like £175 to tax.

I weighed mine in, hope you have better luck with yours.

[MVX11V]

Extra points for added shitedness. I hope it shits itself and I can make use of the breakdown cover.

I'm going to compression test it this weekend to see how hopeless it has become.

It's a coil, I pulled the connection whilst running*... No change, pulled the plug, plug is black and whet.

[NorthernMonkey]

Yep, they burn valves for fun. I’ve done quite a few…not the worst job but obviously a bit more involved than a coil swap.

You may be lucky… 😂

[Dave_Q]

Mine compression tested OK but ran like absolute shit and would barely pull itself up a hill, there were codes for EGR as well as misfire so who knows.

[MVX11V]

Jesus! I just looked at replacing the valves... That'll tie me up for at least 3 hours (with a tea break). Literally looks like an airfix kit. The engine is covered in a layer of oil and leaves, so should come apart real easy*.

Are there any £300 VW only tools needed for this operation or can I just chuck spanners at it?

[grogee]

2 hours ago, MVX11V said:

Jesus! I just looked at replacing the valves... That'll tie me up for at least 3 hours (with a tea break). Literally looks like an airfix kit. The engine is covered in a layer of oil and leaves, so should come apart real easy*.

Are there any £300 VW only tools needed for this operation or can I just chuck spanners at it?

Probably those triple square drivers, if you haven't already got them. But £13 not £300.

[Dave_Q]

Looks like all normal hand tools except a timing tool set that is apparently a tenner on eBay.

The main issue I reckon is that to do it properly with a head skim and everything has got to be £2-300 even DIY which is about what it's worth.

[MVX11V]

Costs whatever it costs really as I am not using my Jag. One bloke has worked for a year there and has had 8 punctures... The heads not getting skimmed, believe me.. 🤩

[MVX11V]

19 hours ago, grogee said:

Probably those triple square drivers, if you haven't already got them. But £13 not £300.

I have those already because Audi A4 turbo not Quattro, Cosworth, RS.

[MVX11V]

Went and done the exhaust and paper test, it sucks, so I've got all the valves, the locking tool, head stuff, and chain coming. £190 delivered, which is £40 less than a back tyre for Sbype... lolzzz1 It's worth saving just because it has front wind up windows.

[MVX11V]

Had a quick look at the valves today. 

Another one was split as well. 

The head is a mess, so much for 'i just wanted to chuck it back together', I can't leave it alone can I?

The parts are late, the seller has spun me a load of tosh so after a week of waiting for a royal mail 24 that wasn't coming, I've cancelled the sale and am getting the bits from autodoc by the looks of it, which means another week in the Jag, which pisses me off. I do believe however that there are others out there with worse problems. 

In the meantime, I have removed the valve guides, cleaned and skimmed* the head and have ordered all the replacement bits again.

 

 

[Matty]

Ah you love a lost cause. I've no doubt it'll be the best fettled 3 pot Polo around soon. Great work. Weirdly really happy about this 👍

[MVX11V]

Got TRW valves coming, the exhaust valves have hardened tips and appear to be .2 shorter which I like to think will keep the valve shutting properly as the seats in the head are all discoloured.  I did look briefly at getting new valve springs but it seems too much of a ball ache for what it's worth. Yes, I accidently painted the head... It was asking for it, plus it might add +2hp.

[cobblers]

Fair play to you for putting the work in to fix it! 99.9999999999995759% of the population would have kicked one of the doors in and fragged it!

[MVX11V]

Cheers, even if I get a few months over winter out of it, it's done is job. The car cost me £0 and was on its way to be cubed.

[Dave_Q]

Fair play for getting into it and at least you've deffo got a smoking gun with those valves.

I didn't think the one I had was a bad car per se, just at the end of a list of other ungrateful heaps with a slightly better chance of a profit.

Would be interested to know the total cost for the parts when it's done.

[MVX11V]

I'll get a breakdown of parts listed. I spend the money where it's needed though so bits could be got cheaper if a budget repair to punt it on is needed.

[bezzabsa]

i'd have chucked the head into a few gallons of diesel then attacked it with a wire drill brush...But clean doesn't mean reliable

[MVX11V]

That's why I paint em... it's reliable now. And also, red rhymes with head, engineering at it's finest.

 

[Asimo]

What are those valves made of,  tofu?

Have they burned because they have worn and somehow now got less-than-zero clearance or just because they are made of rubbish material?

[MVX11V]

I dunno m9. 

Evidence shows that they appear to have not been sealing fully in the seat. I also noted two construction materials used, some nickel alloy in the cheaper valves and chrome stuff in the dearer valves. The destruction seems to start with cracking of the material, fatigue I imagine from hot and cold cycling, so yeah, likely shite metal imo.

I have read a case where someone has replaced valves only to have the same issue not long after, but that could be poor rebuilding, ie not seating then correctly, using worn guides... Whatever.

[Dave_Q]

1 hour ago, Asimo said:

What are those valves made of,  tofu?

Have they burned because they have worn and somehow now got less-than-zero clearance or just because they are made of rubbish material?

T'internet says the guides wear, leading to the valves getting a wonk on (technical term) and therefore not sealing, and combustion business getting where it shouldn't.

They're very much known for it so guess VW dropped a bollock somewhere in the valve train design or materials.

[bezzabsa]

must be getting fekkin hot too...

[MVX11V]

FINALLY... I have started to put this thing back together! Waiting for Royal Mail is a chore and they deliver Fridays post the following Monday, I've learnt that... which means the whole weekends plans go out the window and this little injin has taken an age to get together.

After I got all the parts needed, my 6mm valve guide drift doesn't fit the 5.95mm guides on this engine, so I had to get a 5.5mm and hope for the best before I get all creative with a grinder.

Tonight, I got the guides in and started to lap the valves which I quickly learnt that none of the old valves could have been shutting properly, explaining why the inlets had burn stains up the stem, wot a shite engine.

Still, lapping a valve in this little head is taking the best part of 25 minutes, and here's why, see this valve...

He's not sealed...

Shined a light up the exhaust port dint I, and can see how worn the seat is. Wearing that down with grinding paste takes a bit of time and they are all like it! YAY for me.

 

 

[rusty_vw_man]

Electric drill on the valve and coarse paste to get you closer and then finish it off nicely?! 

[Supernaut]

25 minutes ago, rusty_vw_man said:

Electric drill on the valve and a gallon of E10 and some Swan Vestas?

FTFY

[MVX11V]

28 minutes ago, rusty_vw_man said:

Electric drill on the valve and a gallon of E5 and some Swan Vestas?

FTFY and Y

[MVX11V]

It is alive! Run out of time on it today so the zorst and fluid changes need to happen yet. Ran like a peach for the 30 seconds I gave it. 

On another note... what a bollocky, shit, chocolate engine to work on, if you ever encounter one, cube it... immediately.

[Matty]

33 minutes ago, MVX11V said:

It is alive! Run out of time on it today so the zorst and fluid changes need to happen yet. Ran like a peach for the 30 seconds I gave it. 

On another note... what a bollocky, shit, chocolate engine to work on, if you ever encounter one, cube it... immediately.

Would have to concur unfortunatly. Who was it on here who said VAG are like a germanic British Leyland. Building shit but efficiently? Still tho, good work pal 👍