VW's finest shite. Das Shiteauto Polo Wankermobile

[MVX11V]

 

Hateful shite.

All that work and it is crap but hey, it works. My stepson took his first driving lesson* in it and I had to explain what the manwell handbrake was and how to use it, as he only ever experienced... the car doing that bit. After some handbrake turns on some gravel, he got the idea.

I washed the tree debris and bird shit off the roof and bonnet and it was good to go, The radiator had started to piss out coolant which tried to scupper my plans but then the 1960's kicked in and I chucked 2 egg whites in it. That stopped leaking almost immediately and then I had to detach the back box which had also decided the party was over. Shame because earlier the new-ish center section was internally rattling so I performed open heart surgery on it with a grinder and welded the internals tight. Thought the exhaust was done, but no, it was fucked.

I've put a few miles on it tonight and it would be perfect if it wasn't for the electronic steering which is light as fuck. Might see if I can pull a fuse or something on that. I'd rather be analogue.

It's nice to have a car I don't care for though, animals can run into it, cars can drive into it, and I can take it off road and not give a... care in the world. Looking forward to shoving it down the lanes on Monday.

[MVX11V]

Managed to snag a used rear box for 40's delivered, 40 too much but what can I do. I contemplated welding up the existing box but I'd be chasing the weld through rotten tin in several places, and no one wants to do that. I also got a new rad coming as the egg white will give up one day!

Sadly I dipped into Sbypes suspension fund and got 4 of these:

Figured that doing the lanes for the next few  months would require something better than the mixed nonames which are virtually worn out, and that currently reside on it. That'll give me a legal tyre for the spare that holds air at least. Alignment will get done too as it's eating the insides of the tyres at the moment.

Some vigerous road testing was carried out today and some premium BP fuel was plonked into it, which smoothed out the creases almost instantly, gawd knows what it was running on, probably moonshine liquor or something equally as noxious. 

Bonus is that I found* a FM transmitter bluetooth thing in the car, and that has set up nicely so now I can have banging ragga Jungle on as it eats up the miles.

Now the work begins as the little polo will be hauling arse daily and Sbype can have a well earned rest.

[Dj_efk]

Everyone needs a narrow car for the lanes down here. Shame half of them haven’t realised! Looking forward to seeing it picking up some go-faster lane stripes as you now get the use out of all your hard efforts

Also - Enjoy the tunezzzz - BOOM shackalak.

[MVX11V]

Yes yes!

50 miles covered in it today and it's been flinging mud very well. Quite novel with the back box missing and the door mirrors shaking at 60mph, reminded me of the metro days!

 

[MVX11V]

240 miles total miles covered. The missing backbox thing got boring fast. The drone at 2.5k revvos m8 vibrates the ear drum ever so slightly... for 5 miles... twice a day. The back box is here and going on it tomorrow, along with the tyres and the alignment. Good lord, the alignment needs done as the car feels like it wants to track left... and right, at the same time! It makes for a unstable feeling front end on the A14 in the rain at 70's.

Engine wise, the egg white is still holding the radiator together and not a drop of coolant has escaped although the new rad (and built in fan) is here ready to fit, also tomorrow.

So whaz dis piece of shite owe me sofa?  About 550 in parts and 5 days in labour*/ tea drinking/ pointing at stuff.

Good bits:

The Base model front speakers are actually not that bad

It doesn't steam up much and has a qwaliti heater

Loves the lanes, it's gone through gaps at speedz that the jag would have easily succumbed to.

Gr8 on pez. 

Pokey little 3 banger is quite novel to rag about, mashing up and down the gears

Not complicated, so the smoll battery has zero hard work to do.

The tailgate struts are worn to the point where you can just touch the lid and it closes by itself like the modernz do.

Quite good, bright headlamps

Bad bits:

It's been neglected meaning all the useful bits are fucked and need replacing.

No heated seat. This is a major issue for me.

Unlock is via the key and it freezes up preventing access into the car. (sorted with a squirt of deicer)

Completely unrefined, rough, and basic (maybe this is a good bit... not sure)

I will attempt a photo shoot tomorrow once the tyres are done.

[Jazoli]

One of these will fix your seat issue

https://ebay.us/m/ONuTBg
 

I used to use them on my A3 that didn’t have bum warmers and they were really good.

[UltraWomble]

33 minutes ago, MVX11V said:

Unlock is via the key and it freezes up preventing access into the car. (sorted with a squirt of deicer)

 

Just dont bother locking it.
Ive run mine for 2 years and not bothered locking it, I leave it in some truly dodgy areas of Blackpool and no fucker has ever even looked at it.

Ive also disconnected the back doors from the locking loom on the off chance some body locks it on the plib because they have a habit of jamming closed anyway

[MVX11V]

Aargh. Annoying little car.  Orderd 4 tyres and 3 have turned up and I can't align the traking because it's broke a spring... fucktarded car. Everything on this is annoying and frustrating. 

[MVX11V]

Got two springs off unt shelf at GSF. Was going to bang them on but the weather has got bad for rolling around on the floor outside. Thought I'd fix the rear wiper blade in the rain but I've made that worse, so i'm giving up as nothing is getting better right now. 😫Waaaa, etc...

Gonna fill out the blackcircles customer feedback email with IR Dissapoint, blame them for the entire wasted day, and have a cup of tea. Boo.

[MVX11V]

23 hours ago, UltraWomble said:

Just dont bother locking it.
 

I would, and you think you could in Cambridge, but I have seen in my cctv the downtrodden and incapable members of society going around at the early hours chancing door handles in a bid to relieve the contents of a car to sell for crack or some other staple narcotic. My neighbour has experienced the result of leaving it unlocked on such an occasion. Sad ain't it?

[MVX11V]

Managed to get back onto this hateful pile of bollocks to endure yet more misery in removing the front legs in the rain. Miserable. Guess what? The right leg doesn't come off because the shitting driveshaft hits the subframe. It can't slide* out of the hub by 7.3mm or so. So i had to get a stick and jack up the leg to allow it to separate... What utter wank. 

Spring fitting was the usual bollocking around but went ok. Refitting was reversal of removal. Then i had some spare time so decided as i was wet and covered in slimy shit, i might add well go ahead and fit the rear zorst. Again with the fucking around to get the borked pipe off, and fit the seat back box. I had to make a couple of hangers because the seat and polo boxes are not the same mr ebay seller. They are similar at best. 

I contacted black circles, they were mega apologetic and it does seem that the delivery driver has signed for 4 tyres when they delivered only 3 . Retard. You have one job to do m9.

Anyhoos, the other tyre will be ready to fit next Saturday, and now i have sorted the springs, the alignment can be done. Bonus exhaust fitting too so not a bad result this weekend, not perfect, but it'll do.

[MVX11V]

Carried out it's first overtake this morning, utilising all 30 lawn mowers hp worth. Only 19% brown trousers so we'll call that a success.

Fillerupt again with Ultimate. Seems to be quite good on nice pez. Cba working out mpg, I always forget to check prices and milage and prefer to judge it by whether I can remember the last time I filled it. If I can't recall the date then it's good on fuel. 

Forgot to mention that in the usual nature of old bangers, when I was fixing on the springs I noticed the left cv outer boot split and the bottom ball joint bolts will need snapping off as they are properly stuck. The right cv clicks as at some point that cv boot had fell off. I mean it's not so much the money right? 2 joints and ball joints can't be much more than £50, It's the fucking around...on the deck...breaking my arse... In the wet and mud.... Again... GIVE ME SOMETHING ELSE CAR GODZZ!!! A BROKEN DOOR LOCK, A SQUEAKY SUN VISOR... SOMETHING ELSE!!! NOT THIS SHIT... AGAIN!!!! 

 

Every car I get... I swear... I hat brakes and suspensions right now.

[MVX11V]

On 21/11/2025 at 19:52, Jazoli said:

One of these will fix your seat issue

https://ebay.us/m/ONuTBg
 

I used to use them on my A3 that didn’t have bum warmers and they were really good.

OMG I've just got one, cheers.