Automobiles for Room 101...

[Alexg]

Make your case for the vehicles you would like to see banished forever more....

 

Ill start you off....

 

Vauxhall Meriva

 

The Vauxhall Meriva is one of those cars that always annoyed me. It was marketed at a clever thoughtful car designed for family life. The reality was however that GM had concentrated all there thoughts on a pointlessly over complicated rear seat arrangement that everyone could live without ("Oh I see, rear seats that slide in a bit to give you more elbow room,... er, why would I need that?") . The forgotten remainer of the car offered nothing in the way of innovation, flair or practicality and was basically shit.

 

On early cars Airconditioning was extra on even the top spec model, steering racks always needed replacing at about 35k, solid red paint was fooked after 3 years, and the 1.6 8v was so shit on fuel is now costs £210 per year to tax.

 

The only thing that could have perhaps redeamed the Meriva was it appeared to be a car made with the motability customer in mind. Small, narrow, tall, good boot, low load area, high seat, perfect Motab' fodder! But then GM ruined that by deciding to fit the dreadful Easytronic gearbox instead of a proper Automatic. They were impossible to drive gently, especially for a nevous old biddy with a husband and his pooh bag rocking back and forth. "OK its into reverse, Bit of throttle- nothings happening?, OK a bit more throttle - still nothings happening, tiny bit more..." - ZOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!

 

But to top it off is the styling, just look at it, no flair no excitement. I'd rather watch England V Algeria again, in slow motion, than look at the Meriva - seriously. And then you have to drive it. Last time I had to drive one it was the facelift model, which, as part of the many improvements, had rediculously hard and flat seats. That coupled with the excessive body roll made any journey uncomfortable and deaply depressing. 'Fuck my life' I believe were the exact worlds I chose to utter during this time. A deeply unpleasant allround experience the memory of which I pray will be banished forever.

 

 

So what else needs to join it in Automobiles Room 101?

[Guest]

Vauxhall Agila

 

Collected one for a motor trader friend a while ago. A horrible device with no driving enjoyment or anything good about it whatsoever

[Lukas]

Peugeot 207!

 

 

Very cheaply built everywhere not only inside, van-like at the front and horrible looking too! A friend of mine has a 2007 Peugeot 207 for sale, the rear doors are showing first signs of rust already!

 

L

[ashmicro]

 

Lauched to (foisted on is more like it) an unsuspecting public in 1982, the Nova boasted among it's model range the "Merit", despite the complete absence thereof. This contemptible wee shitbox didn't go, stop, corner or even look good. The advertising campaign (remember the Nova "dog"? - how apt) ensured it was bought almost exclusively by imbeciles.

 

Now the favoured chariot of the Chav (Spide in NI) this crock of shite deserves all it gets. Which is crushed or burned.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Readers should note that my view on the Nova is in no way influenced by the fact that the car pictured dropped it's axle while I was in it, causing us to hit a bank. Hard.

[Captain Mainwaring]

I've no doubt they're good cars but they're as common as muck where I live and I'm sick to death of the sight of them.

 

See above.

 

Especially ones wearing alloys like this.

[carlo]

I know it's a bit of a sweeping statement but I can't remember a decent car I've driven that was built after 2000, not that I've driven thousands. Any Peugeot built after then was a discrace and nearly every new car I've had a go in has bored me to tears. Notable exceptions are Mrs Carlo's Fiat Panda diesel which is charming and Father Carlo's new Scirocco diesel which is great fun. So I'll stick to me 90s Peugeots, thanks very much.

[Station]

I've never driven a car that's been so terrible, it's usually stupid things that Jeremy Clarkson would pick a fault with (like 'the handling'). I'm still thrilled I can get from Liverpool to Manchester in 1 hour, costing 5 quid!

 

Also, a mate who said the new Astra VXR was terrible to drive - he hadn't even sat in one.

 

I'll say my 250 quid mk4 Escort, as [Motoring Journalist Mode]the interior was bland, the CVH engine was gutless, the gearbox didn't have enough 'range', and it handled like a dead pig ... on ball bearings[/Motoring Journalist Mode].

[Cavcraft]

I refuse to read Ash's post again, Novas are ace

 

My 101s:

 

Vw Golfs. Any model, any 'Mk', any engine. Over-rated shit.

 

Ford Ka: Horrible, horrible, rattly, wheezy, rusty shit.

 

Ford Mongdeo, especially Mk2. Make suicide look fun. Is there a more horrible, badly made, cheapest-plastics-of-ever pile of shit family car out there? No.

 

Morris Marina: It might be 29 years or so but the awful memories still linger. Hateful things.

 

Fiat 126: Dreadful, rusty, comically made shit.

 

There's quite a few more I will add later, I need to lie down for a while now as the Marina memories are back.

[Parky]

Ford Probe - how Ford (usually good at perceiving public opinion) thought we would lust after a front drive American coupe is beyond me

 

Seat Marbella - I like Seats but why produce a poorly built version of an existing vehicle (Fiat Panda) and flog it at about the same price?

 

Audi Q7 / Porsche Cayenne / BMW X5 / VW Tuareg / basically any Chelsea Tractor. Probably very nice but you are too darned big on our little roads.

 

Those feckin Isuzu Rodeo / Mitsubishi Warrior things. If you are a farmer or builder thats fine but your 5ft nothing Missus doesnt need a blinged up 2 tonne agricultural vehicle to park badly across two spaces outside the local beauty parlour.

 

Golf Plus - Why make this when Volkswagen have the Touran?

[Mash]

[HillmanImp]

Punto. Uncomfortable, slow, unreliable. Why would anyone ever buy one of these?

 

 

Had one as a hire car once. Hated every moment of the drive from Worthing to Hull and back.

[pogweasel]

Take a Mini, and remove all redeeming features.

Leave in the back-breaking driving position, bouncey suspension, dreadful build quality, whiney gearbox and propensity to rust.

Add in some dumpy and plain styling and a dash made of the cheapest of materials.

Then take the piss by marketing as something more upmarket than it plainly is.

For extra injury, leave on the market unimproved for far too long, topping off with a swansong of a new engine far less reliable than the predecessor.

Vile, hateful things.

[Negative Creep]

 

 

Always driven by utter, utter fuckwits. I believe they come as standard with one working brake light, bald tyres and parking dents. God knows how drivers with kids managed in the 80 years or so before someone came up with the idea of a slightly taller 5 door hatchback

[dollywobbler]

BMW X5, X6, X3, 6-series of the ugly, later type, last generation Ford Fiesta (current one's not too bad actually)...

 

Um, how much room is there in this Room 101?

[Roc 24v]

Ford Probe - how Ford (usually good at perceiving public opinion) thought we would lust after a front drive American coupe is beyond me

There are some of us that do, my V6 2.5 is a great car. Big club following too (chav free also these days).

 

It might be built in the states, but the mechanicals are 100% Mazda.

 

Mines looking quite nice in the sun today.

 

[brammy777]

I hate all these cars which seem to want to create a new sub sector based on their size, like hatchback/SUV XXS. It just isnt necessary, no wonder all the car manufacuturers lose money! BMW and VAG are so guilty of this, stick to what you are good at and dont go throwing money at things that look like a slightly taller Golf or an X5 which has shrunk in the wash. The worst part is that people still buy them. But I think if I have to choose one, its the 5 series 'GT', which looks like a Prius which has gone to hang out in Chernobyl.

[Parky]

Actually Roc yours looks quite acceptable. Most I have seen have been seriously chavved so I tend to view them in the same light as early Barry'd up Corsas. Had no idea they had a following but I suppose being on Autoshite should have taught me that everything has a following somewhere.

 

Happy to remove the Probe from Room 101 but the rest of my selection stays!

[Roc 24v]

Actually Roc yours looks quite acceptable. Most I have seen have been seriously chavved so I tend to view them in the same light as early Barry'd up Corsas. Had no idea they had a following but I suppose being on Autoshite should have taught me that everything has a following somewhere.

 

Happy to remove the Probe from Room 101 but the rest of my selection stays!

Most of the chav mobiles have been scrapped now, most of the remaining are decent cars.

 

UKPOC has 700 full paid members and a shed load more forum users.

 

See pic from recent event, a few with stripes (acceptable, as a factory option in US in 97) but little other chavving in evidence.

 

[AnthonyG]

All Peugeots launched since 2001.

 

Horrible ugly unreliable plastic pieces of shit.

 

Motion and Emotion my arse - even their tagline is nicked off Seat.

 

Also all niche cars from BMW and Mercedes- X3, X6, 5 Hatchback, B class, R class , GL Class, etc etc. FFS stick to the fucking knitting - you don't have to be all things to all people.

 

Also see Porsche 'Panamerica', which makes the Cayenne look elegant.

[Spiny Norman]

These.

 

 

The most hideously overweight, ugly pieces of shite ever created, and driven exclusively by utter fucktards. Burn them all.

The BMW X5 is a close second.

[scaryoldcortina]

Ok, I'm going to ignore all the modern toss and go straight for the jugular with one of my all time hates.

 

Oh yeah.... the Morris Minor. It may have been a revelation in 1948 to people used to beam axles, sidevalves and cable brakes but they insisted on making it until 1972, with almost no changes. Horrid to drive, horrid to work on, most of them are now made of 2" square overlapping patches underneath because even the newest one has been rusting for 40 years. I say round 'em up, put them in a field and BOMB THE BASTARDS.

[155V6]

 

Morris Marina: It might be 29 years or so but the awful memories still linger. Hateful things.

 

There's quite a few more I will add later, I need to lie down for a while now as the Marina memories are back.

Yes!,thought it was just me who hated them.By far the worst car I've ever owned or driven.

 

I'm with everyone else on the Peugeots,Mrs 155 has a 307 & it feels like it weighs about 3 times as much as my MG

[Father Ted]

Take a Mini, and remove all redeeming features.

Leave in the back-breaking driving position, bouncey suspension, dreadful build quality, whiney gearbox and propensity to rust.

Add in some dumpy and plain styling and a dash made of the cheapest of materials.

Then take the piss by marketing as something more upmarket than it plainly is.

For extra injury, leave on the market unimproved for far too long, topping off with a swansong of a new engine far less reliable than the predecessor.

Vile, hateful things.

Sorry Pog - your arguments R all in favour of the Metro being prime Autoshite ergo not suitable for Room 101. All your Metros R belonging to us....

 

This:-

However is a hateful piece of shit.

[Guest]

I am resisting the urge to post in this thread.

[Polystratus]

Punto. Uncomfortable, slow, unreliable. Why would anyone ever buy one of these?

 

 

Had one as a hire car once. Hated every moment of the drive from Worthing to Hull and back.

Let me see Fiat Punto 60SX, 6 years, 85,000 miles with a few 200 mile plus trips to Devon and Cornwall, routine servicing, no breakdowns until it popped it's head gasket in the final six months I had it - replaced that and went on for another six years until this year - we think it was handed in during the scrappage scheme. When I px'd in 2005, sales person said it was one of the best examples of that sort he'd ever seen, I should think so with the amount of care I put it into it.

[Louise2cv]

For no reason other than the fact they bore me and seem to be the default choice for people with no imagination when getting "a classic car":

 

MGB.

 

Sorry, but there it is.

[Pete-M]

Mine are pretty obvious, but the winner by far has to be these.

 

 

I've detailed my hatrid for them a billion times on here, so I'll leave it at that. Other than to say that I really, really cannot understand how anyone ever drove one and thought "This is nice". They were horrible when new and normally truly abysmal by the time they'd hit 20k miles.

 

Then there are these;

 

 

Ok, and easy target, but I don't like them. Keep one minter in a museum, and give the rest to Top Gear.

 

and these;

 

 

So much less fun than the Mk1 XR2, with a nastier engine, sloppier suspension and awful steering. I wanted to like these, but after driving them I've always come away with a feeling of being let down.

 

 

Dismal.

 

 

Dismal with more blind spots than a depravation chamber. Atrocious.

 

 

Like an Alfasud wearing a heavy coat of rusty lard. Nice engine, shame about the rest.

 

 

For being the only Porsche I've hated driving. Fast, and capable of Einstein baffling cornering feats, but cheap plastic everywhere inside and the least progressive throttle action I've ever experienced. I'm not going to mention the looks, but they're vile to drive if you like to drive smoothly. Ride quality is crap as well, even with the air suspension.

 

 

Just because everyone who owns one says they're better than a Range Rover, and they're all wrong. Chocolate cylinder heads on the diseasel ones, no torque in the V6s.

[Albert Ross]

Grey imports. There's a reason they weren't sold in the UK. THEY'RE SHIT.

[Guest]

Hey come on now, my Laurel is ace man. It's got seats you can clean with a hosepipe!

[Albert Ross]

But the Laurel WAS sold here, just not the same as yours.

 

I mean Pajeros, that kind of monginess. Even though I think the Figaro is a cute wee thing, I still reckon it's shit.