Taxi Drivers Past and Present - Any Stories To Share; funny, interesting, scary etc.?

[warren t claim]

  On 28/09/2024 at 22:45, Lord Sterling said:

Not driven a taxi as a profession but have driven a couple of vehicles that were at the time, working taxi cabs.

The interior of this C-Max below was one of the worst I had ever been in:

I literally barely fitted into the vehicles there was do many hanging bottles of hand sanitiser etc... this was back in 2021 just off the back of Covid. I never felt uncomfortable driving a vehicle.

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I'm no grass so I'm not going to tell tales but you do know that to drive a plated vehicle on the public highway you have to either hold a taxi badge (any area) or be a VOSA approved tester?

[warren t claim]

Sexual offer of the night.

Picked three middle aged women up from the sort of pub that you wouldn't walk into for a pint if you were a stranger. They were discussing amongst themselves they should be dropped off and despite me telling them the cheapest option one lady insisted on being dropped off last despite her living the closest. This should've rung alarm bells but I really wasn't paying attention. 

First two dropped off with no issues and then it came time to double back and drop off milf number 3. Lady then starts telling me that she's had a great night out and it's a shame that she has to go home to her husband who doesn't understand her. She then decided to ask me the question of when did I think that the last time her husband had sex with her was? Oh fucking hell! Here we go! I do the decent thing and offer her a vanilla answer and she replies six months. She then asks to borrow my phone charger and I hand her the cable. She plugs her phone in and for some reason pulls it out of the USB socket. She says sorry and then crawls into the front of the Kia.

 This procedure is usually undertaken by a horny tart who's desperate to let the driver know that she's either wearing no pants or she's wearing stockings. This size 14 40 something milf managed to tick both boxes. Shes oof and feet on the dash she then starts to fire questions at me about my sex life. I reply telling her that I have a great sex life with Gavin, my civil partner! She laughs loudly before shouting "Only I could find a queer taxi driver when I'm as horny as fuck!"

In my experience, pretending to be gay is an easy way to diffuse the unwanted amorous advances of a lady passenger.

[Lord Sterling]

  On 30/09/2024 at 13:28, warren t claim said:

I'm no grass so I'm not going to tell tales but you do know that to drive a plated vehicle on the public highway you have to either hold a taxi badge (any area) or be a VOSA approved tester?

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To drive as a working taxi driver, yes but to move one down the road or to take it to the local tyre place, I wasn't aware. I was helping to move the vehicles to these places so no more than a mile.

[warren t claim]

  On 30/09/2024 at 15:17, Lord Sterling said:

To drive as a working taxi driver, yes but to move one down the road or to take it to the local tyre place, I wasn't aware. I was helping to move the vehicles to these places so no more than a mile.

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Sad but true. I know a few lads who have put their ladies through the taxi test so they can drive the family car 

[Lord Sterling]

Yeah, it still wouldn't put me off driving a mile or two to a tyre place, if I get caught, I get caught. However it's unlikely to happen seeing as I am now on the lookout for a new garage mechanic.

[Pieman]

  On 28/09/2024 at 22:45, Lord Sterling said:

I literally barely fitted into the vehicles there was do many hanging bottles of hand sanitiser etc... this was back in 2021 just off the back of Covid. I never felt uncomfortable driving a vehicle.

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Is that a bottle of piss in the centre console?

  On 30/09/2024 at 14:03, warren t claim said:

feet on the dash

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If anyone does that in my car, I tell them the story a paramedic friend once recounted to me about attending a high speed head-on crash where the teenage girl in the passenger seat had been sitting with her feet up on the dash.  She didn't have any legs any more, while her (believed to be street racing at the time) boyfriend had been killed on impact.

[warren t claim]

  On 30/09/2024 at 15:35, Pieman said:

Is that a bottle of piss in the centre console?

If anyone does that in my car, I tell them the story a paramedic friend once recounted to me about attending a high speed head-on crash where the teenage girl in the passenger seat had been sitting with her feet up on the dash.  She didn't have any legs any more, while her (believed to be street racing at the time) boyfriend had been killed on impact.

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You've not encountered many pissed up and horny Birkenhead slappers in your time, have you?

[Pieman]

Never been to Merseyside at all, apart from the airport once.

[warren t claim]

  On 30/09/2024 at 15:39, Pieman said:

Never been to Merseyside at all, apart from the airport once.

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I must show you around here someday.

[big_al_granvia]

  On 30/09/2024 at 14:03, warren t claim said:

 

In my experience, pretending to be gay is an easy way to diffuse the unwanted amorous advances of a lady passenger.

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seriously?? i know you have a lass but you must have the best morals of any scouse cabbie

[warren t claim]

  On 30/09/2024 at 19:07, big_al_granvia said:

seriously?? i know you have a lass but you must have the best morals of any scouse cabbie

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In my experience sometimes a refusal really does offend.

[High Jetter]

  On 30/09/2024 at 13:28, warren t claim said:

I'm no grass so I'm not going to tell tales but you do know that to drive a plated vehicle on the public highway you have to either hold a taxi badge (any area) or be a VOSA approved tester?

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Even if not plying? Never knew that, have been guilty of it

[somewhatfoolish]

What regulation does that come under?  Seems a weird restriction if there's not a paying passenger in the back, but hackney law and by corollary PHV law probably has odd hangovers from previous legislation.

[MrBig]

  On 28/09/2024 at 22:45, Lord Sterling said:

 

I literally barely fitted into the vehicles there was do many hanging bottles of hand sanitiser etc... this was back in 2021 just off the back of Covid. I never felt uncomfortable driving a vehicle.

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That is utterly shocking. It looks like its in 1st?!?

[warren t claim]

Sometimes I miss the days when we had two way radios instead of dataheads. Quite often we'd annoy Frank, the boss, by having a  "Talk like an American truck driver on the CB day" or "All radio conversation has to be done in a Scottish accent day". Having said that, Frank did enjoy our "Flashback to the 1970s day". This is where we'd shout either mobile or light at either the old names of bars and clubs or long gone locations. That night everyone with a Mondeo had to refer to their car as a Cortina and those with Vectras or Insignias had to call them Cavaliers. Frank was happy to join in calling his Toyota Avensis a Datsun Bluebird.

[GregZX]

I’m a Private Hire driver in Glasgow.

I have many tales to tell including being stopped by armed police with guns out, taking someone to do a hit, a drugs delivery run gone wrong, many mad slappers on a Saturday night including a couple who went too far and being chased by a deer. Also featuring will be exploding Skoda Octavias, Glasgow gangsters and sweet old ladies with a sting in the tail. 
 

I’m at work just now but I’ll be back later this evening where I’ll fill in the details. 

[Tenmil Socket]

  On 11/12/2024 at 15:31, GregZX said:

I’m a Private Hire driver in Glasgow.

I have many tales to tell including being stopped by armed police with guns out, taking someone to do a hit, a drugs delivery run gone wrong, many mad slappers on a Saturday night including a couple who went too far and being chased by a deer. Also featuring will be exploding Skoda Octavias, Glasgow gangsters and sweet old ladies with a sting in the tail. 
 

I’m at work just now but I’ll be back later this evening where I’ll fill in the details. 

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Look forward to it!

[comfortablynumb]

  On 30/09/2024 at 13:28, warren t claim said:

I'm no grass so I'm not going to tell tales but you do know that to drive a plated vehicle on the public highway you have to either hold a taxi badge (any area) or be a VOSA approved tester?

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I used to get a hard time with the demonstration fleet, when delivering marked police cars, because they were only to be driven by authorised police drivers, but us plebs employed by DHL used to take them all over the country!

Several times I was told I wasn't allowed to drive it. We did have covers for the light bars, but the police nicked them all.

However, playing with the lights and sirens was a job losing past time.

[High Jetter]

  On 11/12/2024 at 15:31, GregZX said:

I’m a Private Hire driver in Glasgow.

I have many tales to tell including being stopped by armed police with guns out, taking someone to do a hit, a drugs delivery run gone wrong, many mad slappers on a Saturday night including a couple who went too far and being chased by a deer. Also featuring will be exploding Skoda Octavias, Glasgow gangsters and sweet old ladies with a sting in the tail. 
 

I’m at work just now but I’ll be back later this evening where I’ll fill in the details. 

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Intrigued by the pursuing deer!

[big_al_granvia]

  On 11/12/2024 at 15:31, GregZX said:

I’m a Private Hire driver in Glasgow.

I have many tales to tell including being stopped by armed police with guns out, taking someone to do a hit, a drugs delivery run gone wrong, many mad slappers on a Saturday night including a couple who went too far and being chased by a deer. Also featuring will be exploding Skoda Octavias, Glasgow gangsters and sweet old ladies with a sting in the tail. 
 

I’m at work just now but I’ll be back later this evening where I’ll fill in the details. 

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tales of a legitimate businessman from mount vernon? friend through motorsport (sadly passed ) ran the taxis in falkirk, total gent. would i cross the family? no chance, his daughter was scarier than his son but really lovely people, in scotland you have to be tough to survive 

[warren t claim]

  On 11/12/2024 at 15:31, GregZX said:

I’m a Private Hire driver in Glasgow.

I have many tales to tell including being stopped by armed police with guns out, taking someone to do a hit, a drugs delivery run gone wrong, many mad slappers on a Saturday night including a couple who went too far and being chased by a deer. Also featuring will be exploding Skoda Octavias, Glasgow gangsters and sweet old ladies with a sting in the tail. 
 

I’m at work just now but I’ll be back later this evening where I’ll fill in the details. 

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Can't wait to hear how being a taxi driver in Glasgow compares to my taxi life on Merseyside.

How long have you worked the roads for? Any interesting plated cars in your past?

[High Jetter]

Plates???

[warren t claim]

  On 12/12/2024 at 23:08, High Jetter said:

Plates???

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Yes. Why?

[High Jetter]

  On 12/12/2024 at 23:54, warren t claim said:

Yes. Why?

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Sounded less...official

[warren t claim]

Sex offer of the weekend so far from a woman of about 45.

"I've got a stoma fitted so you can do me up the arse without your cock getting dirty".

[Tenmil Socket]

I live in the North West and I’ve seen a lot of Wolverhampton Council badged cars about over the past year or so. Why is this?
 

Still looking forward to your stories @GregZX

[Dave_Q]

  On 29/03/2025 at 16:23, Tenmil Socket said:

I live in the North West and I’ve seen a lot of Wolverhampton Council badged cars about over the past year or so. Why is this?
 

Still looking forward to your stories @GregZX

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Wolverhampton will plate almost anything for less money and admin than other councils.

[Tenmil Socket]

  On 29/03/2025 at 19:00, Dave_Q said:

Wolverhampton will plate almost anything for less money and admin than other councils.

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Bonkers! 
 

 

[gm]

spotted this one today in newcastle ! he’s a long way from home 

 

[beko1987]

I keep seeing marketplace ads for taxi's to rent, seems someone's location spamming as we're not near uxbrige but hey ho Dunno if it's good value or not...