Autoshite seat in government , what would you do ?????

[Guest]

I'm not sure giving me a post in government would be a great idea, as I'd just go after the people that piss me off and make their lives awful.Footballers for example. They could earn a fair wage, but none of this making enough money to snort your bodyweight in smack and punching students idiocy. About £30,000 a year would be the maximum I think.Like several other people on here, I'd introduce a rolling 25 year exemption for the VED fund. Although this would make the pub experts right, so I'd embark on a costly disinformation campaign to convince them of another mythical half truth. We can't be having the nobheads invent policy in Wat's Britain. Oh wait.......The way cars are sold in the UK would change a wee bit as well. Britain is known for its niche car makers, so I'd encourage the cottage car industry with small business subsidies. This would be the first step to rebuilding the motor industry as we know it - at its grass roots.There's still loads and loads of garages and second hand places left in the UK. So I'd give them a new avenue to go down. I'd introduce a 'clip' market - a government sanctioned industry within these existing institutions whereby you start making modules for older cars to update, as often it's not the whole of an old car that needs to be binned. Have a mint Cavalier with a knackered engine? Don't get a new Corsa on tick, take it to a clip centre and exchange the engine for a license built XE and subframe which fits directly into the car. If you kept your older car on the road with new technology, you employ a raft of people and indigenous suppliers and you don't hammer the environment as much.The scrap and salvage yards would still have a place because they'd recycle the worn out engines \ bodypanels etc, and would have a much greener image then what they currently have. The salvage yards could also operate a tiered system - if you can't afford a new [heavily subsidised] engine, how about a refurbished one instead for less?You'd have these modules for each major section of the car - body panels, drivetrain, etc. It would stimulate what was left of our engineering sector. There'd have to be a technological cut off date of course - recognising what worked in the long term rather than what appears flashy on a Powerpoint presenation - Dual Mass Flywheels for example - would be an absolute must. Tried and tested proven technology would be the key. If anything went beyond this baseline, it would have to be certified by a government agency for the equivalent of 5 years \ 100K hard useage. That should cut down on uneccessarily complicated new cars being built out of shite quality components (massive hint there, PSA).Want to buy a new car? That's fine. But you're not having any encouragement from the government to buy it. We're after expedience, not proliferation, remember that - the economy's fucked.I would still keep foreign manufacturers to build their cars here - then at least UK residents are being employed and the higher levels of production and expertise still exist. There is at least the semblance of a free market. The lower costs incurred by these makers would be passed on to the customer.So Toyota, Honda, Nissan, Ford, BMW et al, would still remain here. They could use any excess manufacturing capacity to create subsidiary companies making spares for new models or clip modules for older cars. These companies could sell spares and turn a bit of money in on them.If you want to sell your car here and don't have a manufacturing plant in the UK - oh dear. Heavy taxes await you, hence removing any motive to buy a Citroen. Want to charge a fortune for spare parts? Well, you can't, as they're imported as well and a large fine would be levied before you could even get them into the country. Want this to end? Well, you can't pass the cost on to the customer. Open a factory in the UK stamping them out, and I'll think about letting you sell them for a small profit.Marques that had factories in the UK and shut them down would not be looked on favourably - so that's you Peugeot.Lastly, in a somewhat vindictive act I'd sack everyone at the DVLA and re hire, including upper management. I'd invite them all to reapply for their new jobs having sent a letter out saying that their sackings were a mistake and their posts had been renewed. When they're all queuing outside Swansea et al, I'd announce an edict by loudspeaker that it was all a lie and in fact they never had jobs there at all. I'd put my phone number on big billboards for them to call, and when they get through I'd tell them that I'm a government agency, and that we don't make mistakes.I now await your collective wrath for being such a fascist.

[Lankytim]

Leave the E.U.Politicians who fail to be publically stoned to death (every Thursday)Invade France (as they are our natural enemies)Hanley ring road completion date to be moved forward by a year.

[Rusty Pelican]

Politicians who fail to be publically stoned to death (every Thursday).

That would only happen once then , we would need a bunch of new ones for the following Thursday

[Volksy]

Hanley ring road completion date to be moved forward by a year.

Is there anything left in Hanley to go round?

[Lankytim]

Hanley ring road completion date to be moved forward by a year.

Is there anything left in Hanley to go round?

Yes, about 987 charity shops.

[RedSparrow]

If I was in charge the country would be a bit like East Germany. Actually, exactly like it.

[FredTransit]

I am lovin Watanabe's manifesto! I am not lovin anything restricting commercial operation, infact I would ban the tacho. Remember if you got it, a truck brought it. By all means restrict commercials, specially if you don't want to buy anything (including petrol) on mondays.....

[boobydoo]

Anyone who dropped litter would have to be rogered up the jacksy in public by a gay porn star in a rubber Donald Duck mask.Jodie Marsh and Dale Winton would be exempt. They would have to spend a day picking UP litter instead.

[Mr H Sceptre]

Eastenders would be replaced by repeats of Eldorado.Plus there would be a Government funed 'Minder' tv channel.

[Pete-M]

I am lovin Watanabe's manifesto! I am not lovin anything restricting commercial operation, infact I would ban the tacho. Remember if you got it, a truck brought it. By all means restrict commercials, specially if you don't want to buy anything (including petrol) on mondays.....

The only restrictions I want on HGVs are to stop the fucking irritating bastards taking 200 miles to overtake each other. I don't want them going faster, I just want them in the left hand lane out of the bloody way. I think there should be a maximum time limit for HGV overtakes. I'd even allow the truck in the middle lane a 5mph 'overtake' boost that only kicks in when they're overtaking another truck, and can only be used a certain number of times per hour (always when overtaking other trucks). I'd fit a traffic light system in all HGV cabs (to be paid for by the truck firms and fitted to ALL HGVs used in the UK). Green in the overtaking cab means you have your extra 5 mph, amber means you're taking too long, red means quit the overtake and get back in the left lane. In the cab being overtaken same lights, green means someone is overtaking, amber means they're taking too long, red means let them in, now.This would also be registered on the tachographs in both cabs. Anyone caught in the red more than once an hour driven would not be allowed to drive for two days afterwards. Anyone caught in the red during rush hour traffic would not be allowed to drive a HGV for a week. Period of time would double every time. Drivers would not be paid for the time off and their employers would be fined 10 times the drivers monthly wage for each offence commited. This money would be used by my government to persecute anyone in the MLOC, or anyone mimbling in lane 3 holding up faster moving traffic (no speed limits in the dry, don't forget..)

[Milford Cubicle]

Leave the E.U.

 

Politicians who fail to be publically stoned to death (every Thursday)

 

Invade France (as they are our natural enemies)

 

Hanley ring road completion date to be moved forward by a year.

[whitevanman]

Ban the ID card schemereintroduce 25 year rolling VED exemtionuse the unemployed to tidy the streets and the countrysideuse criminals for any drug trial etcanyone found in the middle lane when they should be on the inside lane will either be shot or fucked with a big dirty stickthis wiil allow enough room for trucks to overtake each other and for US to overtake them, and still allow for deliveries to be madeCARAVANS...............HMMM we will start with restricted hours, if they don't learn we add more restrictionsanyone that can afford to do a scrappage deal.... they are means tested and the money that they obviously don't need given to the poor who work or are retiredMore money given to the armed forces...if we have to go around fighting at least give them the best of stuff and carefunerals...make them cheaper, hell you have just lost a loved one and they bastards rob you blind as well :evil:National service? but not in the armed forces, more of a civil force for doing the jobs that the lazy idle council workers get paid to do, but mostly fail to....more green policies that work, recycle all our stuff here in the UK, wave generators etc...if we tax to raise money for the project, it gets spent on the project not some quangocut the number of Civil servents and MP'sscrap the Scottish parliment and the Welsh and NI ones as well, have a govening body for the countries by all means , but not the expensive waste of time and money that exists at the momentSchools....give power to the teachers to be able to punish bad behaviour etc Jail sentences...10 years means 10 years, misbehave and more time is added onbuild more jails as they fuckers are to stupid to learnjudges..are to be sent to live in rough areas for 3 years, maybe then they will see it!!youth offenders......Birch? maybe, but it's time to clamp down on the little shitsCompulsory chemical steralisation of under 25, you need to prove you can and should be allowed a child before being taken of itAll goverment employees that don't show common sense get a severe kicking...Yes the guy with no legs is disabled, he really doesn't need to go through months of shit to prove it... how many billions can be saved there then Do you want more? or will that do for my first manifesto??

[Justin Case]

and to chuck away perfectly decent motor vehicles while at the same time telling them to re-use their carrier bags.

I would introduce a scrappage scheme for carrier bags as all this re-use means that too many dangerous polluting old carrier bags are still about. My estimate is that this measure would help preserve 4,000 jobs in the carrier bag industry and would give the economy a much-needed kick-start.Other than that Wat's manifesto is superb and I would definitely vote for him if he stood for dictator

[Milford Cubicle]

An awful lot of right-wing mentalists on here eh?

[whitevanman]

Really!!! can't say I noticed

[FredTransit]

I am lovin Watanabe's manifesto! I am not lovin anything restricting commercial operation, infact I would ban the tacho. Remember if you got it, a truck brought it. By all means restrict commercials, specially if you don't want to buy anything (including petrol) on mondays.....

The only restrictions I want on HGVs are to stop the fucking irritating bastards taking 200 miles to overtake each other. I don't want them going faster, I just want them in the left hand lane out of the bloody way. I think there should be a maximum time limit for HGV overtakes. I'd even allow the truck in the middle lane a 5mph 'overtake' boost that only kicks in when they're overtaking another truck, and can only be used a certain number of times per hour (always when overtaking other trucks). I'd fit a traffic light system in all HGV cabs (to be paid for by the truck firms and fitted to ALL HGVs used in the UK). Green in the overtaking cab means you have your extra 5 mph, amber means you're taking too long, red means quit the overtake and get back in the left lane. In the cab being overtaken same lights, green means someone is overtaking, amber means they're taking too long, red means let them in, now.This would also be registered on the tachographs in both cabs. Anyone caught in the red more than once an hour driven would not be allowed to drive for two days afterwards. Anyone caught in the red during rush hour traffic would not be allowed to drive a HGV for a week. Period of time would double every time. Drivers would not be paid for the time off and their employers would be fined 10 times the drivers monthly wage for each offence commited. This money would be used by my government to persecute anyone in the MLOC, or anyone mimbling in lane 3 holding up faster moving traffic (no speed limits in the dry, don't forget..)

Excellent, that will only cost about eleventy billion to implement and be impossible to police, let's just make it more difficult and expensive for haulage operators, they only have to pay more for their overpriced fuel, so I am sure they will be happy to do that so you don't have them in the middle lane. Not being able to drive for a week? More people on the dole que then, and nobody with the training to take their place. Are you going to implement this driving ban for car drivers too?

[Espacetic]

Where do you start? Obvious ones are stop kids insuring Impreza's etc in their Grans name. One strike and you get a 2 year ban until the age of 25. Have public boy racer car crushings on Saturdays for entertainment, removal and crushing offences to include stupid driving, driving in circles around town and slowing to 5 mph, having both windows open even in the pissing rain and turning up the bass when you see a bunch of pre pubescent girls.Prison terms to be full and not soft, bring back hard labour and chain gangs. Get them to build the roads and clean the streets to save the country millions instead of giving them facebook accounts, drugs and mobile phones.Any immigrant commiting any offence to be put on the first plane home.Remove fuel duty for commercial vehicles.Reinstate 25 year tax exemtion.All Social workers to have children themselves and be over 30 with some life experience and make them accountable for their actions.Ban spin from government.No expenses for politicians unless in their line of duty, we have to buy our own lunch so why shouldn't they.Bring back British industry at all costs.Stop privatisation, doing it yourself is always cheaper than paying some other bugger.Chemical castration for all kiddy fiddlers.

[Milford Cubicle]

[Guest]

An awful lot of right-wing mentalists on here eh?

Indeed.

[maxpower]

forgot to add to my policy... i would ban and publically castrate anyone found riding or owning one of those feckin excuses as a bike where they are practically lying down!! if you want to lie down...go to feckin bed!!!!!

[Guest]

forgot to add to my policy... i would ban and publically castrate anyone found riding or owning one of those feckin excuses as a bike where they are practically lying down!! if you want to lie down...go to feckin bed!!!!!

?Please illustrate, I am confused.

[Milford Cubicle]

Public castrations for everybody who has a 'paedo smile'.

[maxpower]

forgot to add to my policy... i would ban and publically castrate anyone found riding or owning one of those feckin excuses as a bike where they are practically lying down!! if you want to lie down...go to feckin bed!!!!!

?

 

Please illustrate, I am confused.

these

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Yeah folk riding on those defo should be castrated, that makes a lot of sense. Also folk who grow their own veg should be gassed, and people who enjoy going to the cinema from time to time should be forced to watch snuff movies for 2 hours per day.

[Rusty Pelican]

Theres a few of these lying down bikes where i live , really efficent way to cycle so Im told , Im sure they are called recumbants , GR8 4 GETTIN SQUISHED BY CARS

[maxpower]

Theres a few of these lying down bikes where i live , really efficent way to cycle so Im told , Im sure they are called recumbants , GR8 4 GETTIN SQUISHED BY CARS

they wouldnt be so keen if all cars where fitted with snow ploughs at the front bastards!! i hate them... with there easy to find in a supermarket car park ariels

[Guest]

I have never, ever seen one of those bikes. Just move up here and you won't have to deal with them, as I'd imagine if anyone did get one it would be burned down within the day.

[pogweasel]

a load of old drivel

Please try to be less thick.

[warren t claim]

Please tell me that isn't a real poster!

[dieselnutjob]

My party would have the following slogan "feck off and leave me alone"You want me to pay loads of tax when I'm already supporting 5 people on one income?, feck off and leave me alone.Don't like my old "polluting" cars, my "carcinogenic :roll:" diesels, my caravan, my kids playing in the park, me fixing my car in the street?; feck off and leave me alone.Don't like my religion and beliefs?; feck off and leave me alone. Want to bust my balls because I drove at 85mph?: feck off and catch some criminalsWant to break into my house or vandalise my car? feck off and see above.Government should interfere with our lives to the absolute minimum amount that is absolutely necessary. Okay I don't want people starving to death or unable to get medical treatment, but that's about it.Of course if you want to interfere with other peoples lives by stealing, assaulting, threatening etc etc then the government should interfere your life and do it properly instead of the half arsed expensive crap that they do now.