Autoshite seat in government , what would you do ?????

[Rusty Pelican]

With all the talk on here re. scrappage , fuel costs , car tax etc thought it might be an idea to have a Autoshite rep in the grubbermint to voice our ideas , some need to be half sensible ( i suppose )but anything goes , Theres an election coming soon so lets have some shite ideas , heres a few of mineBan non essential lorry use , say 17 tonnes and over on Sundays between 6 am and 6 pm , nice clear lorry free roads on Sundays at least Scrap car tax and stick it on the fuel , more you use the more you pay , Ban chelsea tractors from the school run Scrap all electric cars and make it compulsory for diseasel donkeys to be able to run on cooking oil No more catalitic converters , dont do fuck all , just use up valuable resources Any more ideas

[Justin Case]

Excellent idea, I would appoint myself as the Minister of Non-planning. Planning has resulted in out of town shopping centres, building houses in the middle of the countryside, vast schools and hospitals, all of which require extra transport that wouldn't have been needed. By abolishing planning and letting towns evolve naturally as they did for centuries then we would have places worth living in.To make our towns even more attractive to visit or live in, I would ban on-street parking by any car that wasn't Japanese and more than 20 years old.

[Rocket88]

Replace all government chaffeur driven cars with deisesel Peugeot 405s. , Hirst to be given the contract for moving the Royal family about,

[pogweasel]

I would most likely make the most of all perks, expenses and tax breaks, legal loopholes, bribes, and after-dinner-speaker gigs. I would possibly appear as a panelist on HIGNFY before being shamed in some manner of sordid sex scandal. I would promise alot, but probably deliver nothing but vague waffle.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I would bring an 'agenda for change' and attempt to win 'hearts and minds', then I would basically start chipping away at the civil liberties of my constituents and dream up countless new ways to monitor every tiny detail of their lives. I would stifle public protest, and take little or no interest in the industrial development of my country, preferring instead to court the finincial sector as a source of easy money and some kind of magic force for good across the whole nation, despite a complete lack of evidence to support that. I would also encourage people to speculate on the value of their own homes, and to chuck away perfectly decent motor vehicles while at the same time telling them to re-use their carrier bags.

[Pete-M]

I'd ban diesels for anything other than taxi / truck use.HGVs would be taken off the roads at peak times, and forced to stay in the left hand lane at all other times.Trains aren't bad, I use them a lot (probably 4-500 miles a week) but they need to be cheaper.Buses would be removed from any route that a train also covers (to within half a mile or so), this will get poor people off the road :)The school run will be banned in cities.Fuel tax on petrol will be halved.Speed cameras doubled near schools / hospitals, removed from NSL roads. Traffic light cameras doubled. Motorway speed limit removed completely in dry weather on clear motorways. MLOC drivers banned for third offence (for life), anyone tailgating or brake testing also banned from driving.Driving test made a lot more difficult, basic maintenance introduced, changing a fuse / wheel, checking oil / water / fluids all made part of the test.If young drivers want cheaper car insurance, they have to ride a 125cc motorbike or scooter for a year first.

[Volksy]

I would bring an 'agenda for change' and attempt to win 'hearts and minds', then I would basically start chipping away at the civil liberties of my constituents and dream up countless new ways to monitor every tiny detail of their lives. I would stifle public protest, and take little or no interest in the industrial development of my country, preferring instead to court the finincial sector as a source of easy money and some kind of magic force for good across the whole nation, despite a complete lack of evidence to support that. I would also encourage people to speculate on the value of their own homes, and to chuck away perfectly decent motor vehicles while at the same time telling them to re-use their carrier bags.

LOL, love the avatar..Shit, some prople voted for this...

[garethj]

Generally I favour the tinpot dictator model, but if you've got to have elections then my pledges are:I'd build lots of railways, employing lots of people and I'd make sure the track was at least doubled up so if a train breaks down another can always get past. There'd be a lot more rail routes between towns, rather than into London and back out again. I'd make the people who maintain the railways actually do some work.When something bad happens and it's posted all over the media, I wouldn't bring a new law in. In fact I'd reduce the number of existing laws by at least 10% each year. The laws that remain, I'd enforce. I'd try to make this as simple as possible: if you're an idiot, you get a slap. If you're dangerous you get in lots of trouble.I'd bring in an MoT Lite test every 4 months, just a quick check of brakes, tyres and lights. Most people don't do any maintenance until the car fails an MoT so I'd crank this up a bit.I'd replace the whole government fleet of cars (and there must be millions) with cars costing less than £1000. Lets see how unimportant badly maintained roads are when you're driving over them in an old Sierra.I'd improve driver training by at least a factor of 5.To improve busy roads I'd make it more than an 8 hour day, employing more people and spreading the peak travel times.I'd encourage a British car industry, and manufacturing generally.

[Cavcraft]

Install some device on the front of rep-mobiles that ensure they kep a minimum of 100 yards behind the car in front on fast roads.Operate a shoot to kill policy on X5 owners, people who are selling Mongdeos, dizzy blonde bints in big 4x4s, anyone with a Runcorn bridge stye rear spoiler, neons or stupid fucking bodykits.Have an instant clear up team for road accidents, screens to go round accident scenes and lay landmines around Kerry Catona and Jordan's houses.Scrappage scheme only available for British built cars and the vehicles getting chopped in must be German, Italian or French and under ten years old.No more speed cameras except in proven accident blackspots and all cameras to be painted in flourescent paint.ALLL money from cameras remaining to go towards more OB in cars and the streets. Mobile speed cameras where the rozzers have to stand in big fuck off dayglo coats ate the side of the roads pointing the radar at you so every fucker can see them and slow down.Have vehicles detecting tyre shredding spikes that pop up on kerbs outside schools.And then there's the specially trained, fully armed hit squads in secret locations around Great Britain. The moment a vehicle advert is detected that contains text talk, or spaccy words like 'bumbers' the hit squad turn up and knee cap the cunts.Oh and before I forget I'd raise the speed limit on single carriage roads to 50 mph for lorries.

[simmo]

Not car related but for where Tescos et al have effectively eleiminated their smaller rivals I would make it illegal for them to be out of stock of any items.

[Lukas]

I would ban the planned environmental zones in Austria (Diesel-engined cars with emissionratings Euro III and worse should get banned form the roads) and make modifying a car easier and a lot cheaper here. Oh, and our very strict import-laws for used cars should get banned too!

[Guest]

All new drivers to have 2 years in a pre 95 car under 2000cc. Preferably basic trim models so they can learn how to "drive" ie no powersteering/electric windows etc. Basic maintenance course too. Historic (free) tax for pre 1990 cars

[Cavcraft]

Forgot one:All new drivers (except the disabled of course) to be made to ride a moped or motorcycle for at least six months before being allowed to drive a car.

[retrogeezer]

and to chuck away perfectly decent motor vehicles while at the same time telling them to re-use their carrier bags.

Just Brilliant...

[ashmicro]

Martial Law.

[pompei]

Brilliant, Mr_B! A wholly accurate assessment of British politics over the last 20 years. Move over Andrew Marr.

[Guest]

I would do a Kim Jong-il and set up a country where people lead miserable lives because I keep spending all the money on enormous hotels/stadiums/highways that no one needs. Then I'd use the state controlled media to develop a "personality cult" and run stories about me playing golf for the first time ever and getting a load of hole-in-ones, etc. I would rule with an iron fist and also irritate all surrounding countries by constantly launching test missiles and satellites just to see what they'll do. Also everyone would have to refer to me as "Dear Leader" and there'd be big parades and such like, but they'd have to deal with me banning/outlawing things on a whim. It'd be ace man.

[Volksy]

Hirst, Would you have a Lincoln MkV111!!!11 Coupe?Then I'd vote for you..

[Cavcraft]

I would do a Kim Jong-il and set up a country where people lead miserable lives because I keep spending all the money on enormous hotels/stadiums/highways that no one needs. Then I'd use the state controlled media to develop a "personality cult" and run stories about me playing golf for the first time ever and getting a load of hole-in-ones, etc. I would rule with an iron fist and also irritate all surrounding countries by constantly launching test missiles and satellites just to see what they'll do. Also everyone would have to refer to me as "Dear Leader" and there'd be big parades and such like, but they'd have to deal with me banning/outlawing things on a whim. It'd be ace man.

I'll vote for you if you promise to bomb round the border of Wrexham and push it out to sea.

[Guest]

I promise nothing, do as you're told.

[Cavcraft]

You get started then sunshine and just when you think you are despotic enough to instil terror and fear upon your citizens, I'll mobilise my fleet of 4x4 Citroen BXs and invade your sorry ass.We'll see who's laughing as you get tied up, put in the boot and taken to a third world town (Ellesmere Port) to be tortured by having Cilla Black records played down your ear 24 hours a day for ten days until you sign an agreement that hands over power to me. You will be exiled to London to live our your days knitting jellied eels and wearing Elizabeth Duke bingo armour.

[Albert Ross]

I'd bring back National Service. In at 18, and out after 2 years or when you can read and write (Whichever comes soonest) Fire Service, Hospital Portering/Ambulance, or the Forces.Burberry would be banned unless you were actually protecting yourself from the rain, and it was worn as a lining to your long coat.Fuel Duty would be rehashed to make it realistic, back to selling by the Gallon, not these poxy litres.Thinking of that one, back to Imperial weights and measures wholesale like. Every new driver to see at least 6 months on a scooter prior to getting in a car. Insurance rates capped to assist new drivers, but with a penalty for misdemeanours, like removing the car from them. Discount on insurance for new drivers if they volunteer to drive their car for 8 hours a week as Hospital patient transport......Banning of blacked out windows and overloud stereos in cars.Duty on Alcohol dropped to minimal levels, but any injuries that can be attributed to alcohol are automatically not covered by the NHS, and you have to pay out of your own pocket. This includes fighting in town centres, the Police would "charge" you for real before arresting the pisshead that's just hit you. After all, it's your fault that you got hit, as you are in town getting pissed too.And there's more, but ICBA to write them on here.

[saabhappy]

Repeal about 60% of the laws passed in the past 13 years.Do what Prescott said he was going to do but was too stupid: devise an integrated transport strategy to get freight on to the railways for as many journeys as possible.State clearly what the pecking order for different forms of transport actually is and then re-allocate funding and adjust taxes accordingly, so that cars, aircraft, trains, bicycles, buses, underground systems etc etc are treated in order of importance according to the % of the population who use them.Recognise that about 50 million people don't live in London and can't exist without a car.Do something - I don't know what - to get those people who shouldn't have a licence because they're a danger to the rest of us - off the road, whether it's old men in trilbys driving the wrong way down dual carriageways or young men in Burberry who think you drive like you play an X box game.It'd be a start.

[Mr H Sceptre]

Make everything better by a factor of several.

[Justin Case]

I would do a Kim Jong-il and set up a country where people lead miserable lives because I keep spending all the money on enormous hotels/stadiums/highways that no one needs. Then I'd use the state controlled media to develop a "personality cult" and run stories about me playing golf for the first time ever and getting a load of hole-in-ones, etc. I would rule with an iron fist and also irritate all surrounding countries by constantly launching test missiles and satellites just to see what they'll do. Also everyone would have to refer to me as "Dear Leader" and there'd be big parades and such like, but they'd have to deal with me banning/outlawing things on a whim. It'd be ace man.

You do realise that even with your absolute power you will still have to drive a new S class Mercedes (you don't think that all those bribes will enter your Swiss bank account without a price having to paid, do you ) Still up for it then?

[Jozza]

Introduce a 'one in, one out' system for new laws. You can only add a law to the statute books if another is repealled first. If the new law is so badly needed then I'm sure the civil servants will be able to find plenty of pointless and badly-thought out bits of legislation that can be removed to allow space. Insist that all publicly-funded bodies (police, fire services, ambulances, highways agency) buy British-built vehicles where possible. Private companies can buy what they want but using taxpayer's money to fund foreign vehicle makers is silly. In Southampton all our ambulances are Mercedes Sprinters despite that fact that the (soon to be closed) Transit factory is about a 10 minute drive from the hospital. Reinstate the rolling VED exemption for vehicles 25+ year old. Acknowledge that the Beeching Cuts to the railways were one of the worst and most short-sighted piece of goverment cock-upery in the last century. Review every closed line to determine a) if it is now needed and in what form and how easily it could be reopened. Which leads onto:A specific local greivance- STOP the daft scheme in Gosport to rip up a disused but intact railway line into the town centre to put in a guided busway. I also agree with Albert Ross re: reintroduction of Imperial Weights & Measures and the pre-driving license scooter period.

[Guest]

You do realise that even with your absolute power you will still have to drive a new S class Mercedes (you don't think that all those bribes will enter your Swiss bank account without a price having to paid, do you ) Still up for it then?

Kim was given a Grandeur by Hyundai so I'd just wait for that to turn up.

[maxpower]

i would do a robert mugabi.... with the policies of enoch powell..ban the wearing of feckin burkhas whilst driving as 4 of the twats have almost hit me!!!

[dieselnutjob]

I'd ban diesels for anything other than taxi / truck use.

I would ban Pete-M from driving anything except a diesel.

[Pete-M]

I'd ban diesels for anything other than taxi / truck use.

I would ban Pete-M from driving anything except a diesel.

I drive enough of the bloody things in work.Ok, I'll do a deal - this is what gubbermint is about innit - half the tax on petrol and I'll let you keep your diesels.