Crappest Car of the 'Noughties'

[Tayne]

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[The Liberator]

The Cayenne and the Toerag are actually quite capable off road.And all Range Rovers leave the factory with road tyres...I'll give you the BMWs and Audis though.

I'll take your word for it, the closest I've come to off-roading is driving along a track to someone's house on the Stiperstones in an Alfasud Sprint so ridiculously lowered I subsequently turned a footwell inside out and broke the exhaust in two on an 'enthusiastic' four-up drive along the A458.

[Tayne]

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[Mr H Sceptre]

My stepmother has a C3.When my dad first met her she had a Triumph Vitesse. That was followed by a 1600 Capri.It all went downhill from there...

He may as well divorce her before she gets a bloody Clio. Or Rodius.

[Hudsonpie]

I've been into cars since I could see. When I was a kid I loved them, the old man had Lotus Cortinas and three litre Capris, and there was always something cool parked outside our house. I remember one of his mates turning up with a Mk1 Escort, flames, long shackles, General Grabber tyres, furry interior the works. Must have been the first time I had seen a slot mag....I was in love.... Then later on I joined the motor trade, first for Mazda then for Ford. YTS then an apprenticeship. It was shit as the apprentices used to get used for slave labour (decorating the MDs office, that sort of thing). Soon jacked that and ended up working for a guy who used to repair rally cars as a sideline to a Taxi meter fitting business, ace ...proper meat and veg stuff... But I digress.... I could see that cars were changing and I did'nt like it. Plus technology was just starting to be thrown into the mix, and thats what ruined it for me. Up to a point its ok, if it makes them more reliable....but now cars are a parody of themselves. No longer are they a practical object to take you from A to B. They exist purely to remove you from as much of your cash as possible.I fucking loath anything built after the mid to late nineties, and thats the asthetics, driving, and working on them..... and all this talk of "Kinetic design" and all that crap.........aaaaaand all the environmental lies that people seem to be falling for.....I now hate (modern) cars. There is nothing recent that lights my fire at all. So I left the trade and ended up driving heavy plant, but even thats not immune. I can remember when big dump trucks were hard as fuck monsters that you actually had to drive. Now they are sissy, plastic encrusted shit.......technology that supposedly works for you, like automatic diff locks that take so long to engage, you've already slithered to your death when they kick in.....Sorry....got carried away.....

[Volksy]

The Aston Martin Virage looks like a kit car based on a Capri or Calibra, and the headlights look like they were borrowed from something really inappropriate, like a Maestro.

They were from an Audi 200, the taillights were from a Scirocco and the door mirrors from a Citroen CX.Although Astons have always been a bit of a parts bin special. V8's and DBS's had interior door handles from a Marina, and switchgear from the same IIRC

[Tayne]

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[Pete-M]

Early TVR Chimaeras having Mk3 Fiesta back lights always galls me.

 

 

Griffiths having Mk3 Cavalier ones is worse.

[Tayne]

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[Pete-M]

LOL, I knew I was on the right lines, but figured that googlage would save me from looking like a muppet.Little did I know.

[brammy777]

Howabout the MG Xpower and its punto front lights?

 

on the subject of TVRs with borrowed lights:

 

 

Weird though, I always liked the look of the Griffiths rear.

How odd, a thread about shit cars from the 00s and were talking about TVR rear lights.....

[Tayne]

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[Pillock]

Does the 420SEAC have Saab lights?

They remind me of something Talbot.... Horizon?

[brammy777]

Agh Ive forgotten. I hope they are actually 'borrowed' ones as well. Im starting to think maybe not.....

 

 

But heres one more, im sure you all know this one:

 

But nothing will ever surpass the XJ220 using Rover 200 lights.

[Tayne]

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[brammy777]

........ or Skoda Octavia?

Very close..........

[Pete-M]

VW Pisshat?

[gearoil]

BMW X3 - why? At least I get the X5...

[Gompo]

I think we can safely say that the Rodius is guaranteed Autoshite and we'll be lamenting their abscence in 15 years time - Dont you reckon? The new Rancho? No, obviously not, but you must see where I am coming fromThere's not many about, and most that are are private hire vehicles which'll die in a few years. The Rodius is probably one of the last squared off designs that isnt meant to look cool (unlike the Nissan Cube and Daihatsu Materia etc), it's purely functional. The Rodius looks like it was designed in 10 minutes, the 308 looks like it was designed initially in 10 minutes, and then modified by a team of 50 people who all had 1% of the car to work on. And then had to meet the safety requirements.Worse car of the decade for me? I really dont know. I'm quite astonished at how poor the Mito looks after the 159 and 8C, but it's probably not a bad car. I dont like the Aygo, but by all accounts it's not as bad as some of it's rivals. Proton Satria-Neo? Definitely futureshite again, but never had any real experience. Any Saab? They're all bloody facelifts which get worse and worse. Almost forgot about a lot of the newer Seats too. Altea? PT Cruiser Cabriolet? The 5 door ones are wank, but they do seem to have a market albeit to mongs. The cab is just horrid....So I cant think of a particular car, but I'm very annoyed by the fact that there's too many cars that are only available in 5 door flavour, rather than 3 and 5. Very frustrating.

[Akron]

Proton Savvy for me guaranteed future shite. One of our neighbours has one and it is so unreliabe it is comical. It has had an earth fault that drains the battery overnight for the last 6 months, so I am jump starting it every morning for her, 58 plate and the garage cannot fix it, and the arches are now starting to rot! They gave her a Jumbuck as a courtesy car last week funny watching her workout which of her 3 kids she could take shopping .

[Whoop Whoop Pull Up]

Ooh, this is a tough one! Got to be a toss-up between:

 

BMW X5 - a gin palace that's useless off road and seemingly appeals to the most selfish scumbags of modern society.

 

VW Beetle - coveted by gullible, giggling 40-year-old middle class women. Usually seen covered in flowery and/or Herbie-style graphics and occupying two spaces in office car parks all over Britain.

[woolleyiain]

VW Beetle - coveted by gullible, giggling 40-year-old middle class women. Usually seen covered in flowery and/or Herbie-style graphics and occupying two spaces in office car parks all over Britain.

 

I'd have to go for this as well - bad to drive (strangely bad to see out of too) Plasticky, cynically marketed, noisy, crashy, numb handling piece of awfulness. The Strut Bushings and LCA bushings need replacing with alarming regularity (paying my rent is that) And the headlamps often fall out.

 

Also, the Prius - They munch Waterpumps, and if any of the electrickery bits go when the thing's out of warranty - like a Headlamp ECU (yup, the feckin headlamps have ECU's) You're looking at at least $1500 to fix it. Oh, and you might end up owning the car, but the batteries are always Toyota's. Bizarre.

[Richard]

The Beetle has plastic door cappings to simulate the painted metal of the original. Bizarre.

[warren t claim]

VW Beetle - coveted by gullible, giggling 40-year-old middle class women. Usually seen covered in flowery and/or Herbie-style graphics and occupying two spaces in office car parks all over Britain.

 

I'd have to go for this as well - bad to drive (strangely bad to see out of too) Plasticky, cynically marketed, noisy, crashy, numb handling piece of awfulness. The Strut Bushings and LCA bushings need replacing with alarming regularity (paying my rent is that) And the headlamps often fall out.

 

Also, the Prius - They munch Waterpumps, and if any of the electrickery bits go when the thing's out of warranty - like a Headlamp ECU (yup, the feckin headlamps have ECU's) You're looking at at least $1500 to fix it. Oh, and you might end up owning the car, but the batteries are always Toyota's. Bizarre.

 

I must confess that I would rather find blood on my toilet paper than a prius in my driveway.

[garethj]

I vote for the Cayenne / X5 / Whatever that Merc is called.They might have a high driving position but it's got none of the other benefits of 4x4s. The wading depth is hardly more than normal cars, the massive wide tyres give no grip when it's slippery and I dread to think what a new set of tyres costs.But most of all, they seem to attract crap, arrogant drivers, and that's what pisses me off the most.

[Pillock]

It's just thuggery really... they're no more 'luxury' than a normal car, yet by raising yourself up higher you're making a statement of "I'm better than you". There's no reason to buy one apart from that.

 

Obviously excluded is the Range Rover, as a decent luxury off-roader there are plenty of reasons to buy one. It can go off-road (it probably never will, but it can) for a start.

 

I've never known a faux-offroader (Cayenne, X5 et al) be driven by anyone other than obnoxious people. Sorry if that includes anyone on here, but if it does - get another car

[M'coli]

It's just thuggery really... they're no more 'luxury' than a normal car, yet by raising yourself up higher you're making a statement of "I'm better than you". There's no reason to buy one apart from that.

 

Obviously excluded is the Range Rover, as a decent luxury off-roader there are plenty of reasons to buy one. It can go off-road (it probably never will, but it can) for a start.

 

I've never known a faux-offroader (Cayenne, X5 et al) be driven by anyone other than obnoxious people. Sorry if that includes anyone on here, but if it does - get another car

Then there's the exception that proves the rule - the RR "Sport" - as these usually get driven by thugs, bullies, wannabees and twats too.

[Pete-M]

It's just thuggery really... they're no more 'luxury' than a normal car, yet by raising yourself up higher you're making a statement of "I'm better than you". There's no reason to buy one apart from that.

 

Obviously excluded is the Range Rover, as a decent luxury off-roader there are plenty of reasons to buy one. It can go off-road (it probably never will, but it can) for a start.

I've got the launch video for the Cayenne somewhere (on VHS, class) and it turns out they do off road rather well.

 

The X5, on the other hand, doesn't.

[garethj]

I've got the launch video for the Cayenne somewhere (on VHS, class) and it turns out they do off road rather well.

Really? A friend was telling me that they can only ford 2 inches more than a Daimler Sovereign

[Milford Cubicle]

When the Cayenne was launched I believe there was a version available with greater off road ability. They probably sold 1 or 2 of them.