The grumpy thread

[RoadworkUK]

 

I think the shopkeeper was unreasonable in not serving the bloke to be honest. In what way would it have put him out to procure a packet of fags from the shelf at 23:01? What would it cost to have said, "You're lucky! I was just closing." and smiled.

Petrol forecourt service in this country IS shit.

 

Unreasonable or not, it's the ease at which the young chap took to throwing offensive language about that annoyed me. A simple, sarcastic, "thanks a lot, mate" would surely have done the job. Prick was wholly unnecessary. Swearing's brilliant. I love it, but it only has a value if used wisely. A lot of people use it in place of punctuation, and it loses its effectiveness. It can be used well for emphasis, but if unwisely deployed it just makes you look ignorant.

 

Also:- Re. X-Factor; I can honestly boast of having not seen a single full episode. I find it gives me tinnitus within seconds of coming on. Every saturday night for at least the last five years has just been an excuse for raiding the CD collection.

 

You cunts.

 

(!)

[Angrydicky]

Am I the only one who enjoys Wat's rants?

[ashmicro]

Am I the only one who enjoys Wat's rants?

 

No, I do too. Jon often says pretty much what I think.

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

I enjoy his rants, too. In fact, I empathise with him and sometimes his rants save me from posting my own because he's said it all for me.

 

I can understand why people don't like various TV shows as I can't even be arsed to connect the TV in the wardrobe (tv licensing only ever visit chav areas and can't be bothered going somewhere without free parking). However, I can't understand why someone who doesn't like a particular show cares enough to talk about it. Picking on (real or perceived) physical imperfections is something that routinely happens in 'celebrity' circles. No surprises there, and certainly nothing worth commenting on IMHO (but do, of course, feel free to keep ranting because that's the whole point of this thread).

[Albert Ross]

Lazy speech. I HATE it. Instead of "Thank You", were are increasingly bombarded with "Fanks".... It's TH TH TH TH TH.... using the tongue on the top teeth, not the bottom lip on the top teeth/top lip on the bottom teeth. It's lazy and annoying.

 

Brake lights. They are there to signal to the following traffic that "One is slowing down". Not "I have my foot on the brake pedal, blinding you with 63 watts because I can't be arsed to apply my parking brake" Knobber in Audi A1 remember this, as my NATO hitch will become a parking sensor. All because I was momentarily blinded by the car in front.

[Polystratus]

Brake lights. They are there to signal to the following traffic that "One is slowing down". Not "I have my foot on the brake pedal, blinding you with 63 watts because I can't be arsed to apply my parking brake" Knobber in Audi A1 remember this, as my NATO hitch will become a parking sensor. All because I was momentarily blinded by the car in front.

 

...and the amount of cars with defective lights both front and rear, must be one of the biggest cause of MOT failures, got someone behind me with the lights on main beam tonight, when they turned off at the next road (Thank goodness) noticed both rear lights were out and only one brake light working.

[eddyramrod]

Lazy speech. I HATE it.

 

Oh I'm so with you! Who the fuck told Steve Rider and Steve Wright that it was ever going to be acceptable to pronounce the date after the 5th and before the 7th as if it were spelled with a "ck" instead of an "x"? Do they buy a "bock" of eggs? Do they "mick" their drinks? Did they vote to abolish "fock-hunting"? I don't think so! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

 

Good call on the brake lights too, especially making your tow hitch multitask!

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

Brake lights. They are there to signal to the following traffic that "One is slowing down". Not "I have my foot on the brake pedal, blinding you with 63 watts because I can't be arsed to apply my parking brake" Knobber in Audi A1 remember this, as my NATO hitch will become a parking sensor. All because I was momentarily blinded by the car in front.

 

...and the amount of cars with defective lights both front and rear, must be one of the biggest cause of MOT failures, got someone behind me with the lights on main beam tonight, when they turned off at the next road (Thank goodness) noticed both rear lights were out and only one brake light working.

 

This probably is a direct result of carmakers making bulbs impossible to change. The average motorist now has to wait until the next service/MOT until someone can dismantle the bumper, take out the screenwash bottle, move the grille and finally change the lightbulb.

[Albert Ross]

The average motorist doesn't give a toss about blown/poorly fitted bulbs, and neither does Plod. I see them... out to buy the latest CD or rent a DVD, but their car's a death trap and no mistake Superficial image obsessed wankers!

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Lazy speech. I HATE it. Instead of "Thank You", were are increasingly bombarded with "Fanks".... It's TH TH TH TH TH.... using the tongue on the top teeth, not the bottom lip on the top teeth/top lip on the bottom teeth. It's lazy and annoying.

 

I did this all my life and never realised it until my sister pointed it out a few years ago. Then I became self conscious about it, tried to correct it and as a result every THanks or THree (3) is so laboured it's awful. Sometimes don't catch it in time, other times I botch it and say THree instead of free or THriday or something equally daft.

 

Now I'm THreaking out... how the THuck have I been saying SIX?

[eddyramrod]

The average motorist now has to wait until the next service/MOT until someone can dismantle the bumper, take out the screenwash bottle, move the grille and finally change the lightbulb.

 

...During which process, at least a dozen of the plastic clips/turnbuttons/hooks/whatever will be guaranteed to break. Reassembly will require either a forest of self-tappers/a shoddy job with everything flapping/purchase of a new bumper and grille. Modern cars are GR1.3 for servicing and repairs, and I'm being generous there.

 

Peter: you want to try living with a native of Dublin! My dad always mixed up his T and TH (and I've noticed Wogan doing it, so it must be a generally Irish thing). He'd say thought instead of taught, and turd instead of third. I'm certain his accent got thicker and stronger as he got older, too...

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

He'd say thought instead of taught

 

Like a reverse Sylvester the cat!

[eddyramrod]

Peter!

 

The other one that really winds me up (laying myself wide open here, I know... ) is "should of" when everyone knows it's really "should have"! Or has English teaching genuinely deteriorated so far so fast since I escaped in 1975?

[morris_ital_lover]

Lazy speech. I HATE it. Instead of "Thank You", were are increasingly bombarded with "Fanks".... It's TH TH TH TH TH.... using the tongue on the top teeth, not the bottom lip on the top teeth/top lip on the bottom teeth. It's lazy and annoying.

 

I used to say fanks until I was 11, a teacher at my school told me the difference and I've changed my ways! My real grind, and it most often heard in shops where the people behind the tills look like they dropped out kindergarten, is "Anyfink else" "thing" and "think" might differ by one letter but thats no excuse.

[eddyramrod]

+1 Morris!

[Guest]

Peter!

 

The other one that really winds me up (laying myself wide open here, I know... ) is "should of" when everyone knows it's really "should have"! Or has English teaching genuinely deteriorated so far so fast since I escaped in 1975?

 

If you heard me say either you wouldn't be able to tell one apart from the other.

 

On the subject of shop closing times, I fall rather heavily on the side of the cashier. It's not something I have to worry about at the place I work at now, but at the Co-Op we were forever arguing with the locals who either a: turned up at five to ten and started doing a full shop or b: started rattling the door \ shutter and started shouting when it was 10:03 and they 'just wanted some cigs'.

 

The worst time I remember was a bloke who went utterly ape shit because he reckoned we'd shut at five to because 'that's what my watch says.' Bear in mind I'd just come out of the retarded you're late \ no I'm not discussions with management who couldn't set their watches properly and I was in no mood to argue with this cumstain. I let him shout and yark away in the hope he'd tire himself out and walk away.

 

Alas, no.

 

The second my manager and I emerged he sticks his watch in our faces and follows us up the street, ranting this way and that about how we'd 'done him' out of a packet of cigs' and how he was going to 'get us done' by means of a full scale complaint (which never materialised). Now my colleague was normally a very quiet and patient man, but this punter was not letting up. We were having the full five minute rebuke whether we liked it or not. He stopped pretty sharpish when my manager turned sharply on his heel, squared up to the lad and silenced him with 'Omega watch kid. Swiss. It's now ten to ten. Petrol station, 300 yards. FUCK OFF'.

 

AFAIC, the shop clock gets set on the GMT signal and the shop shuts at the end of the specified time on the wall. If you're late, tough shit. Go and find a 24 hour Tesco, they're fucking everywhere.

[dollywobbler]

Lazy speech. I HATE it. Instead of "Thank You", were are increasingly bombarded with "Fanks".... It's TH TH TH TH TH.... using the tongue on the top teeth, not the bottom lip on the top teeth/top lip on the bottom teeth. It's lazy and annoying.

 

I did this all my life and never realised it until my sister pointed it out a few years ago. Then I became self conscious about it, tried to correct it and as a result every THanks or THree (3) is so laboured it's awful. Sometimes don't catch it in time, other times I botch it and say THree instead of free or THriday or something equally daft.

 

Now I'm THreaking out... how the THuck have I been saying SIX?

 

You mean I'm not the only one? THANTASTIC! I've fanked people since I was a kid. Attempts were made to correct me but they never really got anywhere. Not sure its laziness - do children really understand the concept of lazy? Not sure it's a big deal to be honest. I'd rather get a 'thanks' than nothing at all.

 

Lazy spelling and grammar annoy me, which is why I LOVE the fact that we're so txt spk intolerant here. And on other forums I frequent. Long live the typing of actual words!

[eddyramrod]

We'll put that to the test one day Jon... I suspect you are in the habit of saying "should've" which at least is a recognised abbreviation. Trouble is, I've seen people write "should of" even here; people I'd expect to know better.

[RoadworkUK]

Five years ago I got dumped by an extraordinarily fit lass, eight years my junior, because I used to correct her grammar. I was the living embodiment of twat, I know.

 

I began using "of" instead of "have" for entirely ironic reasons. I'm not the worst spoken geezer in christendom and I quite enjoy the slightly jarring effect that dropping a "could of" into the conversation has. It's now become almost habit. Sometimes it's not even "could of". I might say, for example;

 

"Couldn't you of picked it up this morning?" (I emphasise the "of" so it doesn't sound like " 've".)

 

But, worse than that, I sometimes substitute the word "of" for the word "have" when it's entirely inappropriate. Ergo;

 

"Wow, look at that! My Dad used to of one have those".

 

I'm a wanker.

[whitevanman]

Actually, you're right - I've got plenty good going on at the moment. The next time something pisses me off I'll forego the words on a screen and go straight to kicking someone's head in. It's so simple!

 

Wat you need some medical help, I have never feel the need to kick anyones head in. Sorry if I've wound you up fella.

 

You must be a very easy going person then..............

[Mr_Bo11ox]

 

"Wow, look at that! My Dad used to of one have those".

 

I'm a wanker.

 

I like that!!! Its a pretty subtle piss take, so subtle you are likely to be the only person who clocks it.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Lazy spelling and grammar annoy me, which is why I LOVE the fact that we're so txt spk intolerant here. And on other forums I frequent. Long live the typing of actual words!

I don't know if it's related to the my speech issues but me and my friends got the first generation of pay as you go mobiles in school, and I insisted on typing all my texts in full much to their amusement. Wasn't easy in the days before predictive text either!

[eddyramrod]

Predictive text! There's a legitimate Grump waiting to happen! Bloody hell, predictive text.... never offers you any of the words you might be trying to use. I had a phone with that on it once. Came closer to being flung at the wall than any other phone I've owned, and I find most of them pretty damn frustrating. I'd much rather talk to someone face-to-face.

[dollywobbler]

I've never used predictive text. Bleargh. Horrible. I've always typed texts in full, though must concede to using 2moro a few times when I didn't have a phone with a full keyboard on it.

 

My mates used to love me because I could never be arsed with texting. They'd text me, I'd call them back. Sorry, but it's a lot quicker! Sod the expense.

[RoadworkUK]

One of the chaps at work used to communicate using TXT SPK far too often for my liking, so I quickly got into the habit of ommitting any vowels in my responses whatsoever.

 

Reminds me of something else:

 

My Mother, until this year, was a primary school teacher. She had loads of magnetic letters, and we quickly appropriated them to use on the fridge door, as you do. Obviously, because they were all nicked from school, we had a shortage of certain letters but an abundance of others. Very soon we established a code, whereby any missing letter was replaced by a "K", as we had far more of those than anything else.

 

Before long, our daily reminders that we need more milk and teabags started to look like they were written in Finnish, until things got really stupid and I asked all my mates to pinch as many "Ks" from school as possible.

 

The whole system was written off when "Wk nkkd mork milk" became "Kk Kkkd mkrk kklk".

[Guest]

 

The whole system was written off when "Wk nkkd mork milk" became "Kk Kkkd mkrk kklk".

 

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL (sorry).

[eddyramrod]

FWIW, btw ( ) I'm also on the side of the shop staff, having been there, done that etc.

[Pete-M]

I like predictive text. Once you have grasped how it works, and the limitations of the phone dictionary, it is ace.

 

It amuses me no end when people complain "It doesn't know any words"... If you don't expect it to know everything it works well. For example, to type "Warrington" on my trusty old Sony K750i I just type "Warring" by pressing "9 2 7 7 4 6 4" click the little joypad to the right (new word) and then "ton" by pressing "8 6 6" and clicking the joypad down once to select "ton" instead of "too".

 

Sounds complicated. Until you realise that to type "warrington" without using predictive means pressing "9 2 7 7 7 7 7 7 4 4 4 6 6 4 8 6 6 6 6 6". So with predictive it's 11 clicks, without predictive it's 20. For just one word.

[ashmicro]

I never got my head round that lot. BlackBerry FTW - individual keys.

[morris_ital_lover]

 

That is all you need in terms of mobile phone action, I've had mine for 6 and a bit years... at the beginning I was waiting for it to die, but it won't, ever, no matter how much abuse I give it it just will not die.

 

Back to grumps, text speak reali grindz mi gers, but luckily the advent of the Blackberries and iPhone seem to have sorted it out in general... apart from in my family.