The grumpy thread

32,443 · November 28, 2013

The passing of Lewis Collins AKA Bodie from the Professionals this morning, another victim to the bastard big C. RIP.

23,641 · November 28, 2013

The passing of Lewis Collins AKA Bodie from the Professionals this morning, another victim to the bastard big C. RIP.

I Just read this. Shocking. Only 67 too.

6,584 · November 28, 2013

If I can put in my four penny worth on the MH topic,

11 years ish ago Mrs Beard and I were 'doing ok' financially. Sold a house at a good profit, moved to another area and bought a bigger house on a new development with a bigger mortgage. We were both self employed and out working ten hours a day. All the neighbours were similar, out all day working so they could live the dream of a fancy house, two new cars etc. After eight years of this, both me and my wife were becoming increasingly unhappy. Unable to work for days due to panic attacks and various stress related stuff. It got worse. To the point of serious depression. In 2010 we decided to sell up, downsize and try to live a better life, better for us that is! We moved into a run down semi detached ex council house, no mortgage,spent a while refurbishing the place, fitted a wood burning stove and did our utmost to rid ourselves of our previous expectations of life. We also returned the lease cars. On our new street no one has a new car, all are normal people and don't judge by appearances. Our mental health has improved enormously now we aren't subconsciously trying to compete with others. Now we both work less, earn less and live a happier life. Collecting wood, chopping it, storing it etc takes a surprising amount of time and energy but means we don't have gas bills. Keeps me active and gives me a real purpose in life. Keeping warm.

Bit of a ramble, but once we actually admitted that 'normal' life was making us ill things improved. Having more of a purpose helped me. Rather be out collecting wood than working to pay gas bills.

I think many people suffer due to the pointlessness of life, but focusing on what you enjoy and doing more of it helps. We also adopted a dog. She needs us, we need to keep warm etc. All real life stuff. Better than working 60 hours a week to impress the neighbours who, in reality are probably unhappy too.

1,130 · November 28, 2013

Good for you Bob. You sound like proper idlers (not lazy!)

23,641 · November 28, 2013

If I can put in my four penny worth on the MH topic,
11 years ish ago Mrs Beard and I were 'doing ok' financially. Sold a house at a good profit, moved to another area and bought a bigger house on a new development with a bigger mortgage. We were both self employed and out working ten hours a day. All the neighbours were similar, out all day working so they could live the dream of a fancy house, two new cars etc. After eight years of this, both me and my wife were becoming increasingly unhappy. Unable to work for days due to panic attacks and various stress related stuff. It got worse. To the point of serious depression. In 2010 we decided to sell up, downsize and try to live a better life, better for us that is! We moved into a run down semi detached ex council house, no mortgage,spent a while refurbishing the place, fitted a wood burning stove and did our utmost to rid ourselves of our previous expectations of life. We also returned the lease cars. On our new street no one has a new car, all are normal people and don't judge by appearances. Our mental health has improved enormously now we aren't subconsciously trying to compete with others. Now we both work less, earn less and live a happier life. Collecting wood, chopping it, storing it etc takes a surprising amount of time and energy but means we don't have gas bills. Keeps me active and gives me a real purpose in life. Keeping warm.
Bit of a ramble, but once we actually admitted that 'normal' life was making us ill things improved. Having more of a purpose helped me. Rather be out collecting wood than working to pay gas bills.
I think many people suffer due to the pointlessness of life, but focusing on what you enjoy and doing more of it helps. We also adopted a dog. She needs us, we need to keep warm etc. All real life stuff. Better than working 60 hours a week to impress the neighbours who, in reality are probably unhappy too.

I am currently doing something similar. Mrs Imp and I were about to spend a small fortune on a big old detached house, but I suddenly got cold feet as I thought I would much rather have a smaller house and more money, so I am moving into a large flat (with garage and parking) which is no where near as nice but I will have an extra Ã‚Â£800pm in my pocket so that I dont have to spend very much time in it.

6,584 · November 28, 2013

I am currently doing something similar. Mrs Imp and I were about to spend a small fortune on a big old detached house, but I suddenly got cold feet as I thought I would much rather have a smaller house and more money, so I am moving into a large flat (with garage and parking) which is no where near as nice but I will have an extra Ã‚Â£800pm in my pocket so that I dont have to spend very much time in it.

Nice!

The plus side of our downsizing meant that I now have a drive and a garage (that a car actually fits into) and nobody cares if I work on my cars outside. On the 'posh' estate we were actually not allowed to work on cars in public view!

1,130 · November 28, 2013

Blimey, Ã‚Â£800 a month extra is going to make a huge difference to your life! You could purchase some shite every single month and still have a monkey to enjoy/save.

November 28, 2013

Can I suggest this to you lot, wont be a magic cure for all but it is apparently a very effective way of relieving stress and depression. Clinically proven to be as effective as hardcore drugs for treatment of depression.

Mindfulness: A practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindfulness-practical-guide-finding-frantic/dp/074995308X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1385649151&sr=8-1&keywords=Mindfulness%3A+A+practical+guide+to+peace+in+a+frantic+world

6,584 · November 28, 2013

Can I suggest this to you lot, wont be a magic cure for all but it is apparently a very effective way of relieving stress and depression. Clinically proven to work.

Mindfulness: A practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindfulness-practical-guide-finding-frantic/dp/074995308X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1385649151&sr=8-1&keywords=Mindfulness%3A+A+practical+guide+to+peace+in+a+frantic+world

Didn't want to mention it myself in case anyone thought I was weird! Lol.

Mindfulness and Zen technique is truly helpful. NOT in any way based on religion, just a great way of living your life. Used by many. Me included.

6,584 · November 28, 2013

Someone once told me that,

If you live your life dwelling on the past you are depressed, if you live your life wondering about the future you are anxious, if you live your life purely in the present you are content.

Zen philosophy.

24,418 · November 28, 2013

Can I suggest this to you lot, wont be a magic cure for all but it is apparently a very effective way of relieving stress and depression. Clinically proven to be as effective as hardcore drugs for treatment of depression.

Mindfulness: A practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindfulness-practical-guide-finding-frantic/dp/074995308X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1385649151&sr=8-1&keywords=Mindfulness%3A+A+practical+guide+to+peace+in+a+frantic+world

I'll stick with the drugs and alcohol approach.

6,584 · November 28, 2013

I'll stick with the drugs and alcohol approach.

One slight side effect appears to be double vision though....

Ohh, I see...

2,157 · November 28, 2013

Lots of very interesting posts about mental health issues and their relationship to achievement. Feeling that you haven't achieved what you should is a major cause of profound unhappiness it seems.

A long time ago, when Samuel Johnson wrote the first ever English dictionary, if you looked up the word "idle" it would describe someone who was only prepared to do whatever they thought was worthwhile, not what society expected. A very useful word describing someone who was capable of thinking for themselves.

Nowadays, "idle" seems just to mean the same as "lazy". So the word has been taken away from us, as though it's no longer acceptable to follow your own path in life. There is only one legitimate path, and it's the one that's set out for you by society.

Realising this has helped my mental health immeasurably. I hang around on a forum called the Idle Foundation (http://idlefoundation.org) which is for people who live life their way, without worrying too much about what is expected of them. Consequently that forum is populated by some very cool people, and knowing that I am not alone has brought much happiness. The "idlers" on that forum do meet up occasionally (a pub in Bristol last weekend was the last meetup) and their company is wonderful because none of them are high fliers, none of them give a shit, and none of them will make you feel like a loser if you have a minimum wage job, or drive old cars, or feel like you don't fit in.

I think a lot of Autoshiters are probably also idlers at heart. Some of them might also be lazy, but it's about so much more than that. It's about looking after your mental health by accepting yourself for what you are.

That describes my outlook perfectly. and I thought I was the only one....

17,672 · November 28, 2013

Interesting read this last few pages. I find it helps to keep things simple where possible, there's too many opportunities to complicate your life these days. When I feel like doing an Alan and driving to Dundee in my bare feet I go into 'Safe Mode' and do very little, or nothing.

6,584 · November 28, 2013

Interesting read this last few pages. I find it helps to keep things simple where possible, there's too many opportunities to complicate your life these days. When I feel like doing an Alan and driving to Dundee in my bare feet I go into 'Safe Mode' and do very little, or nothing.

Eh?

Probably sound advice, but what is 'doing an Alan'?

Apart from the seemingly obvious. Lol

23,641 · November 28, 2013

Blimey, Ã‚Â£800 a month extra is going to make a huge difference to your life! You could purchase some shite every single month and still have a monkey to enjoy/save.

Ha, yeah. I will be Ã‚Â£500 better off each month by moving from where I am but Ã‚Â£800 better off comapred to where I was looking to be moving. I have already allocated the garage and 2 parking spaces for my cars and Mrs Imp has been booted onto the road round the corner and I am not even in there yet.

TBH this is a perfect opportunity for me to save some money and get the sodding Imp finished as its sat there doing nowt for 3 and a bit years. After I have doen the GT6 of course......and whatever else I buy.

6,584 · November 28, 2013

Ha, yeah. I will be Ã‚Â£500 better off each month by moving from where I am but Ã‚Â£800 better off comapred to where I was looking to be moving. I have already allocated the garage and 2 parking spaces for my cars and Mrs Imp has been booted onto the road round the corner and I am not even in there yet.

TBH this is a perfect opportunity for me to save some money and get the sodding Imp finished as its sat there doing nowt for 3 and a bit years. After I have doen the GT6 of course......and whatever else I buy.

Ã‚Â£500 a month will buy a lot of MIG wire, filler and paint! Lovely!

108,850 · November 28, 2013

I'll be 440Ã‚Â£ better off per month in another 14 months.

440Ã‚Â£ a month is the WORLD!

2,866 · November 28, 2013

Love that post about "idlers" that's getting very looked into.

Mindfulness. When I practice this at work I slow down a lot, as would be expected. I stop being a machine on automatic and it rattles the piss out of my boss! Everyone else is shouting and screaming and loosing theirs heads and I have a bit of a Renton in Trainspotting in the pub moment. But I find it too easy to slip back into the normal way of things.

I read a book called the Power of Now. I though it was excellent, I love Eckhart Tolle, although part of me recognises that he is nuts.

I've tried meditating, not found it much help. I've had Shiatsu, this is excellent but expensive (but my stepdad is a practitioner though so free for me).

Anyways, been to docs, my usual doc on holiday, such is my luck so I picked one I had never heard of because at least 2 of them at the surgery I visit are plain useless with MH issues. He was ok.

So it's welcome to Citalopram city, we hope you enjoy your stay... and 2 weeks off work which I worry about because too much free time is no good at all. but at the minute it is better than the path I was on at work.

November 28, 2013

Good on ya for seeking help. I hope the drugs help to steady things a bit.

12,190 · November 28, 2013

Eh?
Probably sound advice, but what is 'doing an Alan'?
Apart from the seemingly obvious. Lol

Alan Partridge (the character, not the Autoshite member) had a bit of a meltdown during his Toblerone addiction and drove to Dundee in his bare feet. He didn't feel up to driving home so he got his assistant to come up to drive him home- except he took over after a few hundred yards because he didn't like the way she was driving..

6,584 · November 28, 2013

Love that post about "idlers" that's getting very looked into.

Mindfulness. When I practice this at work I slow down a lot, as would be expected. I stop being a machine on automatic and it rattles the piss out of my boss! Everyone else is shouting and screaming and loosing theirs heads and I have a bit of a Renton in Trainspotting in the pub moment. But I find it too easy to slip back into the normal way of things.

I read a book called the Power of Now. I though it was excellent, I love Eckhart Tolle, although part of me recognises that he is nuts.

I've tried meditating, not found it much help. I've had Shiatsu, this is excellent but expensive (but my stepdad is a practitioner though so free for me).

Anyways, been to docs, my usual doc on holiday, such is my luck so I picked one I had never heard of because at least 2 of them at the surgery I visit are plain useless with MH issues. He was ok.

So it's welcome to Citalopram city, we hope you enjoy your stay... and 2 weeks off work which I worry about because too much free time is no good at all. but at the minute it is better than the path I was on at work.

Have you tried a book called 'Fuck it'?

Well written, based on the Zen philosophy, and pretty good!

6,964 · November 28, 2013

Luckily, I have a get out clause.

It's big, made of corrugated metal and telegraph poles, and often smells of cow shit.

Luckily my unit is next door to all that, has a heater and tea making facilities adjacent.

2,866 · November 28, 2013

I haven't read Fuck It, but have just been on Amazon to read the peoples comments who hate it and the people who loved it so will give it a go. If I can find it for a quid or something, I don't buy from Amazon because I think it might be difficult. Will check eBay.

EDIT Ã‚Â£2.88 Free Postage. Book on Way

2,157 · November 28, 2013

Love that post about "idlers" that's getting very looked into.

Mindfulness. When I practice this at work I slow down a lot, as would be expected. I stop being a machine on automatic and it rattles the piss out of my boss! Everyone else is shouting and screaming and loosing theirs heads and I have a bit of a Renton in Trainspotting in the pub moment. But I find it too easy to slip back into the normal way of things.

I read a book called the Power of Now. I though it was excellent, I love Eckhart Tolle, although part of me recognises that he is nuts.

I've tried meditating, not found it much help. I've had Shiatsu, this is excellent but expensive (but my stepdad is a practitioner though so free for me).

Anyways, been to docs, my usual doc on holiday, such is my luck so I picked one I had never heard of because at least 2 of them at the surgery I visit are plain useless with MH issues. He was ok.

So it's welcome to Citalopram city, we hope you enjoy your stay... and 2 weeks off work which I worry about because too much free time is no good at all. but at the minute it is better than the path I was on at work.

That's what I'm on. seems to do the trick although it take a couple of weeks of daily intake to have any kind of effect. you'll wake up one day without a care in the world. well done for getting help, there is no shame in needing a little assistance to cope.

5,968 · November 28, 2013

Does anyone go to the gym or going for long walks with headphones on? When I was made redundant a couple of years ago, I was absolutely skint, didn't have a car, and only really had myself so went on huge 10 mile walks everynight. I listened to learn a new language podcasts, and various other things and eventually joined a gym at Ã‚Â£35 a month. I don't drink so no longer go out but that period was such a good part of my life where I turned misfortune into something positive. I also lost four stone in four months as I began eating properly and as well as the walking I was doing 1000 calorie burning exercise in the gym.

It sounds soppy but I noticed how nice the world and nature is, not from behind a wheel or with a constant big wage coming in but from just getting outside. There's more to life than earning a wage or buying cars, etc if I didn't have legs or eyes or I was 75 years old and had wasted my life worrying about tomorrow I couldn't do these things.

I've been working for two years now in a job I love and still keep up with the exercise and walking and taught me the true value of money.

My mate told me once you are what you eat, life is what you make it, and pretty much if you don't look after your body then you mind will suffer. This is absolutely true.

6,584 · November 28, 2013

I haven't read Fuck It, but have just been on Amazon to read the peoples comments who hate it and the people who loved it so will give it a go. If I can find of for a quid or something, I don't buy from Amazon because I think it might be difficult. Will check eBay.

EDIT Ã‚Â£2.88 Free Postage. Book on Way

Will send it on to you if you like? Free!

Edit. Sorry! Too late

6,964 · November 28, 2013

I have a drum kit.

6,964 · November 28, 2013

Actually that's a lie, I just hit my 5Bs against my desk now and again.

6,584 · November 28, 2013

Actually that's a lie, I just hit my head on my desk now and again.

EFA

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