A communal list of CELEBRITIES WOT WE WANT TO SLAP

[FredTransit]

 

Gotta say that pic looks like it was taken after the girl ran up to him in a pub, and asked him for a snap in a 'fan' sort of way

[CortinaDave]

er well I'm 30 and I love the Beatles stuff... They released some utter tosh but some brilliant stuff as well.. and the fact they've just brought out a Beatles version of Rock Band suggests a fair few other under 40's do as well!

[wilko]

Clarkson would have made my list - he has written some good stuff, and he can be funny on tele too - but there's something about a rich self-satisfied home counties dwelling yorkshireman that makes my knuckles itch - however, he is definitely off the list if he punched Piers Morgan, good work.Agree with many others have said, would also like to submit twiglet limbed presenter/model ALEXA CHUNG. Oh she tries so hard, so detatched and ironic and unimpressed by anything. It would be superb to see her hit in the face with a spade.

[barrett]

Sorry, i know Alexa Chung is a bit of a douche but she is way, way too hot for me to consider hitting her with a spade....(Alexa if you're reading this, please notice how i just defended your honor)

[Timewaster]

ALEXA CHUNG. It would be superb to see her hit in the face with a spade.

As I had no idea who that is, I googled her...I think someone may have beaten you to it Wilko.

[warren t claim]

Has anyone nominated that drippy twat Ben Fogle yet? I swear I could happily ram a 12 bore shotgun up his arse like a big black cock of death and pull the trigger.

[55bloke]

This thread started as a list of "celebs" we'd like to slap, but is rapidly plunging into really quite scary levels of violence directed at some admittedly annoying, but otherwise fairly undeserving people!

[warren t claim]

This thread started as a list of "celebs" we'd like to slap, but is rapidly plunging into really quite scary levels of violence directed at some admittedly annoying, but otherwise fairly undeserving people!

Sorry! I will moderate my hatred to just slapping him with a broken bottle. Point taken.

[Angrydicky]

Oh dear. Where do I start?

 

Simon Cowell: Annoying, poncey, always on the telly, can't stand him. Same goes for any TV show associated with him.

 

Any of the X factor judges, and for that matter the contestants.

 

Jordon/ Katie Price. Because she became a 'celebrity' for getting her plastic saddlebags out on I'm a Celebrity

 

Any other reality 'Star'.

 

Richard Hammond: Really spoils Top Gear IMO.

 

Andy Parsons: As above, but spoling Mock the Week instead with his useless jokes.

 

Sir or Lord Alan Sugar, can't stand the man.

 

Pete Doherty, the man is a drugged up loser who can't sing and seems to be forever in the news for doing things like giving his cat cocaine

 

Lady Gaga, who the fuck is she? Whoever she is, she can't sing, and is always on the radio. The same goes for the female singer of that song in which the chorus sounds like 'I'm always catching mice'.

 

Ant and Dec. Because I can't stand their accent and constant happiness. Oh and they took the piss out of an Austin A30 by dressing up as old giffers and thrashing it round a racetrack

 

Vernon FUCKING Kay. The man is on EVERY Sunday night

 

And if we're talking about politicians as well....

 

Nick Griffin. Fucking racist scumbag.

 

Peter Mandelson. Because he implemented the scrappage scheme and he has been disgraced several times before. There is no way he should still be an MP, let alone given a peerage and the post of Business Secretary.

 

Jacqui Smith. For making us live in a police state.

 

(and breathe!)

[Cavcraft]

*Good call on Nick Griffin.I'm over 40 and still fucking hate those mop-topped tosspots the Beatles.Fiona Phillips, ex-GMTV: Incredibly pointless, smirking, airheaded, inane-grinned BINT.Alan Tit chmarsh: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.Jodie Marsh: 'Celebrity' slag.

[Angrydicky]

Jodie Marsh: 'Celebrity' slag.

+1

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

er well I'm 30 and I love the Beatles stuff... They released some utter tosh but some brilliant stuff as well.. and the fact they've just brought out a Beatles version of Rock Band suggests a fair few other under 40's do as well!

Indeed. They still have massive album sales, most of them to youngsters discovering it. I'm not into their early teenybopper stuff, but once they were let off the leash in 1966 to make 'Revolver' they turned out some incredible stuff. The radio stations mostly play toss like 'Help' and 'Hard Days Night' which even Lennon later said was crap.One of the few bands that only reached their peak as they broke up. Abbey Road and Let it Be are superb. I don't mind Simon Cowell. He doesn't offend me. But the idea of someone as utterly talentless as Cheryl fucking Cole judging a talent contest is risible.Still Joe McGeordie will have his 5 mins of fame. He'll be opening Wallsend supermarkets in 2 years, and utter obscurity the next. Remember Paul Potts?Exactly.Unlike real bands, Joe didn't spend hours writing songs and going from pub gig to pub gig in a shitty old van for 5 years which is why he's another pretty Boy who will be gone in 3 years.

[martc]

Right, here goes....Thatcher - should be hung for treasonPeter Davidson - fascist bigoted mysogenistic alcoholic wife beaterGary Bushell (at least the first 3 of Davidson's points apply)Richard "little john" Littlejohn - barely human, see also Gary BushellThe entire cast of Bread, Only Fools and Horses + any other programme which glorifies petty crime (benefit fraud and theft for the two mentioned); and portrays the perpetrators as "salts of the earth" and "cheeky chappies".Paul O' bloody Grady Although I have/had absolutley no interest in football, Paul Mariner used to make my blood boil.BonoAnd now a little less specific.....Anyone who buys/reads Heat magazine (and clones) - it just about sums up whats wrong with this country.Anyone who refers to Model T Fords and Robin Reliants.And relax.....

[Guest]

Ah come on now, the entire cast of Bread?! Even grandad?

[martc]

Yes even Grandad (guilty by impilcation), in fact both Grandads.

[Guest]

That's brutal.

[Mat.T]

Hitler.

[martc]

It's the only language they understand (as the various reactionaries listed in my post would say).Oh, by the way may I add......Steve "sincere" Wright - his programme is always a treat when he is on holiday.Now this is getting a bit un-seasonal - how about people you would like to shake by the hand?I'll start with messers Radcliffe and Maconie (excuse the spelling - you know who I mean).

[Mr H Sceptre]

It's the only language they understand (as the various reactionaries listed in my post would say).Oh, by the way may I add......Steve "sincere" Wright - his programme is always a treat when he is on holiday.Now this is getting a bit un-seasonal - how about people you would like to shake by the hand?I'll start with messers Radcliffe and Maconie (excuse the spelling - you know who I mean).

Ooo, I'd shake hands with:Lord Stokes (could be difficult, I fear his hand may become detatched)Ian BothamVince Cable (only MP who appears to talk the truth)James MayGeorge Harrison (see Lord Stokes)Stuart HallJohn LydonJeremy BowenChris Sievey/Frank Sidebottom (I have shaken his hand actually)Chris Hillman (was in The Byrds & Flying Burrito Brothers, class musician)Mike Atherton Bill Werbunuik (see Lord Stokes)Bill BaileyPrince PhillipI'm sure there are others......

[Mr H Sceptre]

Forgot to include Dennis Waterman.

[outlaw118]

Hmmm...shake hands with....James MayTim Smith (from The Cardiacs, even though I've shook hands, had a beer with, had a fag nicked by the great man already)LemmyLeigh Francis (Bo Selecta creator)Seth Macfarlane (Family Guy/American Dad creator)Steve Tilson (Southend UTD manager/legend)Vic Reeves and Bob MortimerDevin Townsend (guitar/vocalist/god)Faith No More (all of them)Chris Moyles (yes I know just about everyone else on here hates him, but I don't. So ner ner ner)Quentin Tarantinoer..... phones ringing, will think of more later.....

[Cavcraft]

Shaking hands?Andy Milner: he of the finest goal ever scored by a Chester City player.The Queen: I'm a royalist and would love to meet her.Arthur Scargill: total admiration for the bloke and his belief.Whoever built the A483 bypass.Plus loads more I'm sure.

[Rusty Pelican]

Shake hands with ??????????Steven Fry , I just like his honesty about being a manic depressive and about being gay , great on QIPatrick Moore for his odvious enthusiam and for still being alive Asha Tanna , for being the most beautifull woman thats ever livedRobert De nero , great actor Mark Hollis , ex lead singer of Talk Talk , love their music think of some more later

[Cavcraft]

Oops, forgot someone in the 'handshaking' department:Emma Bunton as I left her in bed and very reluctantly went to work

[Rusty Pelican]

Oops, forgot someone in the 'handshaking' department:Emma Bunton as I left her in bed and very reluctantly went to work

Same for me and Asha Tanna

[Wight Shite]

Right, here goes....

 

Thatcher - should be hung for treason

 

Peter Davidson - fascist bigoted mysogenistic alcoholic wife beater

 

Gary Bushell (at least the first 3 of Davidson's points apply)

 

Richard "little john" Littlejohn - barely human, see also Gary Bushell

 

The entire cast of Bread, Only Fools and Horses + any other programme which glorifies petty crime (benefit fraud and theft for the two mentioned); and portrays the perpetrators as "salts of the earth" and "cheeky chappies".

 

Paul O' bloody Grady

 

Although I have/had absolutley no interest in football, Paul Mariner used to make my blood boil.

 

Bono

 

And now a little less specific.....

 

Anyone who buys/reads Heat magazine (and clones) - it just about sums up whats wrong with this country.

 

Anyone who refers to Model T Fords and Robin Reliants.

 

And relax.....

 

 

 

Don't you mean Jim Davidson, the tory loving, right wing, cockney arsewipe 'comedian'?

Or do you really hate the Doctor Who and All Creatures Great and Small actor?

[outlaw118]

yeah, I wondered that...

[martc]

Oh, blimey I do apologise to Peter Davidson who I'm sure is a top egg. I did mean the tory voting reactionary so called "comedian" Jim Davidson but he gets my gander up and I was spitting feathers at the mere thought of him......Again, apologies to Peter.

[barrett]

Aston Kutcher posts on twitter about Brittany Murphy's* death: "2day the world lost a little piece of sunshine.My deepest condolences go out 2 Brittany's family, her husband, & her amazing mother Sharon," Seriously, someone you once dated just died and you can't even be bothered to to write the words 'today' and 'to'. somebody please slap this fool. He's just gone to the top of my list.*I had no idea who this person was until she died

[outlaw118]

Fearne Cotton. For no more petty reason than the way she says her "s's". Theres a wee bit of the Sean Connery "sch" about it, can't put my finger on it, but I'm sure if you manage to listen to her on Radio 1 this morning you'll hear it. I don't normally bother with her, but the CD player in my van doesn't like cold weather, so I have to put up with her for a wee while until I turn over to Mr Ken "Soporific" Bruce on R2 for popmaster.....