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eBay tat volume 3.

Ross_K

By Ross_K
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Mr_Bo11ox Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Mr_Bo11ox

Posted
Posted

I will pay £10 to anyone who can read this complete advert without killing themselves from boredom

 

s-l1600.jpg

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1996-ROVER-114-SLI-SILVER-great-runner-ANY-test-48k-genuine-mileage-VG-condit-/332059649643

 

Here's a taster:

 

 

Exhaust - is quite recent, however, and this is I believe one true 'fault' but it is for specific reason which is a visitor will see he we have a rather undulating drive and it would scrape occasionally (low slung) and  one piece of exhaust has a small hole where it would occasionally snag (only there - where the exhaust protrudes underneath - and there is no other damage) . I will leave as is rather than gungum (likely 20 quid to replace the section - looks quite easy job too) .. in fact it would almost certainly be ok with a dob of paste on that one hole - even for MOT, being the exhaust is otherwise in great nick.

 

Dear god man, STFU, look, here's my money, just let me out

 

 

Fan belt - or more correctly i think it is water pump belt - has been squeeking a bit lately - cam cover is  off in case it carrys on  and can be inspected.

 

Cam cover is off? I don't think it is, but this guy is clearly a total lunatic so it might be I guess.

Supernaut Rank: Talbot Tagora

Supernaut

Posted
Posted

What's going on with the air intake on that?

 

They've got the filter sitting in the open air box, with the hose from the intake manifold just flailing around, not even attached to the air box anyway.

spartacus Rank: Renault 16

spartacus

Posted
Posted

Fuck me, I couldn't even lie about it for the tenner!

I've read through some of the tripe that Junkman finds but this beats the lot, hands down, by two thirds of the way through I was just scanning the text for relevant words...

Total and utter bollocks, Bollox.

Supernaut Rank: Talbot Tagora

Supernaut

Posted
Posted

140hp from a 1.8td?

 

BWAHAHAHAHA!

  • Lacquer Peel
  • Like 1
scruff Rank: Renault 16

scruff

Posted
Posted

Don't all rush at once

 

post-3736-0-80844300-1481819302_thumb.jpg

  • strangeangel, brickwall and Conrad D. Conelrad
  • Like 3
Supernaut Rank: Talbot Tagora

Supernaut

Posted
Posted

So the owner does not have the mental capacity to check the fuel gauge?

 

I bet that's been well looked after.

  • Lacquer Peel and strangeangel
  • Like 2
Mr Laurence Rank: BL Wedge

Mr Laurence

Posted
Posted

Jesus Christ that Metro ad is something else. I couldn't read more than a paragraph or two before I'd completely had enough

strangeangel Rank: Lancia Gamma

strangeangel

Posted
Posted

800 words where 4 ("exhaust has small hole") would suffice

 

He must have spent hours writing all that, and for what? £30 worth of scrap.

 

VERDICT: PUDDLED.

Alexg Rank: Lancia Gamma

Alexg

Posted
Posted

Shitting Nora the screen on that Escort is a whole new stupid. I bet that 'never got finished' when someone pointed out there's no hope in hell of getting an MOT when you can only see out of 60% of the fucking thing.

MarvinsMom Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

MarvinsMom

Posted
Posted

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Rover-2000SC-AUTOMATIC-/252672194416?hash=item3ad46fb770:g:UY4AAOSw5cNYSEPb

 

i think this is a proper "bitsa" as i'm sure those chrome beauty strips are a mark 2 items, or is it a mark 2 with a mark 1 grill?

 

but its got a boot mounted spare, et headrests and V8 hubcaps, so it looks (mostly) like a higher spec model rather than the boggo 2000 SC that it really is.

 

but a £4500, that doesn't sound especially cheap.

 

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RoadworkUK Rank: Lancia Gamma

RoadworkUK

Posted
Posted

800 words where 4 ("exhaust has small hole") would suffice

 

Jeez, I thought I was a sub-editors nightmare.

  • Junkman and alcyonecorporation
  • Like 2
panhard65 Rank: Renault 16

panhard65

Posted
Posted

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Rover-2000SC-AUTOMATIC-/252672194416?hash=item3ad46fb770:g:UY4AAOSw5cNYSEPb

 

i think this is a proper "bitsa" as i'm sure those chrome beauty strips are a mark 2 items, or is it a mark 2 with a mark 1 grill?

 

but its got a boot mounted spare, et headrests and V8 hubcaps, so it looks (mostly) like a higher spec model rather than the boggo 2000 SC that it really is.

 

but a £4500, that doesn't sound especially cheap.

 

s-l1600.jpg

I am sure Junkman will be along shortly with the list of things that are wrong with this, but is a bitsa really worth 4.5k

sporty-shite Rank: Renault 16

sporty-shite

Posted
Posted

Poorly made? CHECK

British?  CHECK

Reputation for breakdowns? CHECK

Modified by utter ChimpRimmer?  CHECK

£22,500?  CHECK FFS

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/TVR-Chimaera-Wide-Arch-RestoMod-/262492802636?hash=item3d1dca4e4c%3Ag%3AoPwAAOSwmtJXaWvV

s-l1600.jpg

 

What the ACTUAL fuck? How to make a good looking car look like a cheap kit? 

 

Truly awful.

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