Sold Der Führerwagen is FINALLY sold - Suggestions for replacement invited - Caution: No Diesels!

[Felly Magic]

Correctly geared 5 door 205? 

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Peugeot-205-Automatic-5-door-white-classic-car-retro-not-gti/302764905978?_trkparms=aid%3D222007%26algo%3DSIM.MBE%26ao%3D2%26asc%3D49138%26meid%3Dc9099eb28ac841568eaee802b9251043%26pid%3D100005%26rk%3D1%26rkt%3D12%26sd%3D173348383038%26itm%3D302764905978&_trksid=p2047675.c100005.m1851

 

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Get to the beach before the Germans

 

https://www.carandclassic.co.uk/car/C953066.

 

I had an Avant 2.0 auto at the same time as an e34 520i auto last year and I would be hard pushed to say which I preferred.

The Audi is a little low geared but still managed 35 mpg at Autoroute speeds, the BMW never bettered 30. The Audi sounded faster, both were leisurely performers- I regret selling both equally.

[Junkman]

Or this?

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/2000-X-Mercedes-S320-Petrol-W220-132k-MOT-May-2019-Modern-Classic-very-soon/263710656620

 

Can only go oop in vulae, m8 init

[320touring]

The Jag is a sport - you'll find it rides too taut.

 

The s class looks like a world of electronic pain

[Felly Magic]

That X300, I'd expect it needs a major brake overhaul due to the ABS fault

[stormee]

Get to the beach before the Germansimage.jpeg

 

https://www.carandclassic.co.uk/car/C953066.

 

I had an Avant 2.0 auto at the same time as an e34 520i auto last year and I would be hard pushed to say which I preferred.

The Audi is a little low geared but still managed 35 mpg at Autoroute speeds, the BMW never bettered 30. The Audi sounded faster, both were leisurely performers- I regret selling both equally.

My dad had a 2,3 CD as a manual, almost impossible to find a decent one again. Nice noise and with 136hp quite quick. Much more lively around town and country than the 520. And a velours wonderland. Very easy to maintain as well, rustproof by full galvanisation. Avoid autos, the 3-speed boxes kill a lot of fun.

[Schaefft]

A W220 S-class would be a very strange choice if you are worried about a rusty tank in the E38.

 

The linked S320 isnt worth 500 quid.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

"Requires small amount of cosmetic work to make showroom condition"

 

Does it fuck. It would be lucky to see a Polish car wash once a year m8.

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/BMW-523i-SE-Auto-E39-very-low-mileage-61-988-valid-mileage-Mot-till-September/183267981947?hash=item2aab9f7a7b:g:xCQAAOSwjzJbE8SD

 

This is worth buying JM.

 

Bland, insipid, a great tool for the job. You will come to love it.

 

Is this the airbag light he's cunningly taped over?

 

 

No mention of it in the description, of course. 

[Junkman]

A W220 S-class would be a very strange choice if you are worried about a rusty tank in the E38.

 

The linked S320 isnt worth 500 quid.

 

Why is that so?

[Schaefft]

W220 are prone to rust. What you've linked there is already happily rusting away and it won't take long before it looks like this:

 

 

That, plus the fact that its in the most generic shade of grey, with the most boring grey base interior, plus the base petrol engine, and you have a car that noone really wants. You could buy a newer S500 with less miles and nicer interior/paint for a grand, there are millions of them for sale.

[Magnificent Rustbucket]

Or this?

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/2000-X-Mercedes-S320-Petrol-W220-132k-MOT-May-2019-Modern-Classic-very-soon/263710656620

 

Can only go oop in vulae, m8 init

 

 

 

If my brother's experience of one of these is anything to go by, the best assessment technique for the W220 is to run in the direction of away!

 

His was abysmal with simply dreadful unreliability, myriad very expensive faults on just about everything and serious problems with rust. It wasn't just niggling faults: the car regularly stranded him when it would not start or when it developed air suspension or braking problems. He bought the damn thing new so it was even less amusing for him when it marooned him somewhere. His S500 cured him of Mercedes forever. Really, don't!

 

It was a nice car when it ran well though.

[MorrisItalSLX]

What's with this?

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Jaguar-x300-Sport-4-0-xj6-xj/163092379739

 

 

Discuss.

 

Pros: Colour, Jaguar X300, 4.0 Lump, MOT

 

Cons: Sport = Hard suspension, no chrome, grim interior w/ black wood

 

Conclusion: GIB FFS!

[C1am]

Good MOT history, has even shed a few thousand miles since the last test.

 

https://www.gumtree.com/p/subaru/subaru-impreza-gl-2.0-sport-4wd/1300453990

[loserone]

NA imprezas are tirefully slow. (Actually, I reckon the 2.5 might be ok, but they never sold them here).

 

[Edit] also, racism[/edit]

 

3.0 and turbos make the chassis shine.

[Felly Magic]

That bit of tape over the airbag light, LOLZ, that X300, I'd be willing to put money on that the ABS module is terminal, plus being a Spurt, you run over a pebble and your spine will shatter, not a car for wafting. The Merc rust issues are well known, cheap paint, cheap steel & little anti corrosion treatment, the bodywork fizzes like a junior Disprin if it rains. 

 

It's going to be a hard quest finding something that fits the JM criteria

[Magnificent Rustbucket]

I didn't know the X300 has problems with the ABS, but my knowledge is confined to the XJ40 really. The '40 generally has reliable ABS - but it is a completely different system.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

What's with this?

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Jaguar-x300-Sport-4-0-xj6-xj/163092379739

 

 

Discuss.

 

 

Nothing. Purchase pls.

 

Srsly, go and buy this. Cars like this are dying out - good looking, fairly simple to fix cheap prestige* cars. After this came the V8 and the hateful alloy bodied thing that is more trouble than it's worth. See also: BMW, Audi, Mercrapdes Bends.

 

We will never be this spoilt again for cheap worthwhile interesting chod.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Or this?

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/2000-X-Mercedes-S320-Petrol-W220-132k-MOT-May-2019-Modern-Classic-very-soon/263710656620

 

Can only go oop in vulae, m8 init

 

Rubbish, utter rubbish.

 

Daimler Benz AG spent a lot of time perfecting the unreliable rust prone shitheap, and this festering turd was the culmination of their experience. These make an XJ look like a really, really good idea. 

[Eddie Honda]

I expect some more constructive suggestions if I'm honest.

• some shite I can visit clients with - you're only visiting, they aren't getting chauffeured around, so fuck 'em.
• shouldn't be too offensive in today's corporate car park - the only thing "too offensive" is too flash a motah, they think they are paying too much if you have one.
• be able to cross a continent at the drop off a hat - that's what aeroplanes are for. If you really must drive across a continent, even a Dacia 1310 will do it. If you want to ponce around, phone Avis.
• provide reasonable performance - anything made in the last 30 years will have "reasonable" performance.
• provide reasonable economy - anything above 30 mpg then.
• provide reasonable comfort - anything with a seat and not German
• still be shite - This is a term like "classic car", it's been hijacked so many times it doesn't even know itself what it is. Apparently you can call anything and everything "shite" these days and make up the definition later.
• not a diesel - The do have their place though, such as for workers that have to start in the middle of the night and they really like* their neighbours. Oh, and tractors.
• no ABS - difficult one this given mandatory since 2004. If you're lucky to even find a switch the bastard thing will wear out as it'll need to be switch off every restart.
• auto - I suppose you mean auto/auto rather than clunky AMT.
• cow-free interior - MOO!
• £1500 or less - having had this discussion many times on AS, it's generally considered a crap-shoot and £500 cars can be better (or a least less of a loss)

 

Ok, I expect less moon-on-a-stick mutually exclusive requirements. The main thing here is that the JM has to cut his cloth accordingly, as my maw used to say, beggers can't be choosers. You're just going to have to slum it for a bit, but don't fight it, just suck it up as you'll appreciate things more later.

 

A nice* Chevvy for you: https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/273284993971

 

Shine brightly with this in your favourite colour: https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/253677270841

 

Or enjoy complete anonymity in the corporate car park with this: https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/123162845702

 

Or likewise this, with added blandness: https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/222978174574

 

All these leave spare change for hookers and coke, which you'll probably need as the antidote to driving/owning them. Now you can go out and buy something that we collectively haven't suggested.

[Felly Magic]

I think that white 5 door 205 Badermatic might be a good shout, should tick multiple JM boxes, and it was designed before 1986

[Junkman]

I'd rather have that JRG giffer spec 205 GTI.

Is anyone on here registered with that auction house and can whack a bid in on my behalf?

[Junkman]

Now you can go out and buy something that we collectively haven't suggested.

I'm deffo not buying anything of what you suggested, that's for sure.

Some other suggestions have well been taken on board added to my watchlist.

 

[Junkman]

Yes, they are a disgrace really. The E38 was nowhere near as well made as the E32.

 

That's pretty obvious, because

 

The BMW E32...

Production June 1986 –...

 

So the E32 was the very last car BMW ever built.

[Eddie Honda]

I'm deffo not buying anything of what you suggested, that's for sure.

 

That's why I suggested them!

 

You should take the W²(aka Jim Bell) approach and use the local lucky dip approach or just spend £1500 on roffle tickets then cry and get the bus?

[MorrisItalSLX]

I actually do need some shite I can visit clients with - Tick

It shouldn't be too offensive in today's corporate car park - Tick

be able to cross a continent at the drop off a hat - Tick

provide reasonable performance, economy, comfort and still be shite. - Big Tick

no diesels, please. - Of course

Badermatic - of the finest quality

Cloth Interior - Step this way sir

 

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Mini-metro/132654289453?hash=item1ee2cfd22d:g:DzcAAOSwLq5bGXxn

 

[MorrisItalSLX]

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Vauxhall-Cavalier-gls-auto-1994-1998cc-108000-mile-drives-nice-nothing-wrong-MOT/253642595298?hash=item3b0e46dbe2:g:3cQAAOSwukVbBXlQ

[MorrisItalSLX]

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/FORD-SCORPIO-GHIA-2-0-16V-ONLY-53000-MILES/163079110018?hash=item25f845bd82:g:I-UAAOSwJo5bE9qU

[rantingYoof]

This thread is like the eBay tat thread, low cost big liability thread and the eBay 'bargains' thread all rolled into one, and it's honestly quite the rollercoaster.

 

Being born in the very year cars stopped being made, I'm cautious to make any recommendations at all, but if well-made*, large, automatic six-cylinder barges are sir's preference may I draw his attention to the Volvo S80 2.9 Executive?

 

 

https://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/201802173819015

 

This is a 2.9 straight six, and mustn't be mistaken for the T6, as it's not turbocharged (gulp) and (as far as I know) does not have the grenade-prone Geartronic 'box in it either.

 

As long as the ATF has been changed in its life (and you do it again after purchase to be sure) the rest of the car will not rust, die of electrical fright or do anything untoward.

 

The only blemish on my S60 is a scratch on the door which goes right down to the metal, which has gone faintly orange. I've spent two winters glaring at it and daring it to rust and it almost seems to be healing itself rather than getting worse.

 

However, I'd hazard a guess and say that sabotaging the ABS in any Volvo would probably trigger an alarm and put you on a list which would end up with a group of brisk yet polite and devilishly handsome paratroopers with quirky accents landing in your back garden to wag their fingers at you and ban you from Ikea, or something.

[stormee]

https://suchen.mobile.de/fahrzeuge/details.html?id=258725284&damageUnrepaired=NO_DAMAGE_UNREPAIRED&isSearchRequest=true&makeModelVariant1.makeId=1900&makeModelVariant1.modelId=2&maxMileage=200000&maxPowerAsArray=109&maxPowerAsArray=KW&minFirstRegistrationDate=1990&minPowerAsArray=96&minPowerAsArray=KW&pageNumber=1&scopeId=C&searchId=7d214464-929d-d9df-cd38-b49b2d045723

These are worth a look. 2,3E 5-pot (AAR), indestructible, wonderful noise, comfy and fast. 10l/100km and almost always rust free. Youtube shows some nice clips, enter Audi 100 2,3 and fall in love with that engine. I have a lot of experience with these 5E and I NEVER came across serious Motorschaden. Here's one around with a million kms.

[Schaefft]

https://suchen.mobile.de/fahrzeuge/details.html?id=258725284&damageUnrepaired=NO_DAMAGE_UNREPAIRED&isSearchRequest=true&makeModelVariant1.makeId=1900&makeModelVariant1.modelId=2&maxMileage=200000&maxPowerAsArray=109&maxPowerAsArray=KW&minFirstRegistrationDate=1990&minPowerAsArray=96&minPowerAsArray=KW&pageNumber=1&scopeId=C&searchId=7d214464-929d-d9df-cd38-b49b2d045723

These are worth a look. 2,3E 5-pot (AAR), indestructible, wonderful noise, comfy and fast. 10l/100km and almost always rust free. Youtube shows some nice clips, enter Audi 100 2,3 and fall in love with that engine. I have a lot of experience with these 5E and I NEVER came across serious Motorschaden. Here's one around with a million kms.

I like this generation 100 way too much. I even wanted one while I still had my ultimate spec S8... I'd go with the 2.8 V8, quattro and a manual though. Change the timing belt and there's literally nothing that can break.