SierraMikeHotel's chod: SMH goes above plodding pace SHOCK

[SierraMikeHotel]

Survived East Croydon. Second train also uncrowded and unlate.

[SierraMikeHotel]

Waiting for it to be extricated. First impression: a bit more battered than it looked in the pictures.

 

[Tadhg Tiogar]

Waiting for it to be extricated. First impression: a bit more battered than it looked in the pictures.

 

 

Any fresh scrapes from that wall alongside?

[Talbot]

Don't be afraid to make a very cheeky offer once the dealer has gone to all the effort of getting it out. He won't want to shove it back in again for the want of £100 knocked off, expecially if you find something that will cost about that much to put right.

 

Remember. His job is to fleece you as much as he can. Your job is to get the car as cheaply as possible. Even if he thinks you're an arsehole for making low offers, who cares? You'll likely never cross paths with him ever again.

 

£945 says an offer of £700, and be happy to take it away at £800. Anything less is a bonus.

 

Edit: Also, last year's MOT shows an advisory for rot around the rear subframe mountings. Be careful!

[Talbot]

Second train also uncrowded and unlate.

[SierraMikeHotel]

Waiting at Thornton Heath for the train home which is a little disappointing but I think it was the right decision.

 

Sticker says £945, it's on AutoTrader for £795, and I was going to start with a £400 offer but it's not for me.

 

List of reasons why not:

 

*That advisory for rust. Couldn't see it with the car on the ground so impossible to assess

*Another advisory for an oil leak. Looked to be rocker cover, which wouldn't be too hard to put right

*It's had a front end impact. Couldn't tell if the bumper just needed re-adjusting or if the metalwork is bent. Probably just cosmetic but an irritation

*Brakes felt spongy

*Alloy wheels look like they've spent most of their miles being dragged along the kerb

*Engine light on

*Steering heavy at parking speeds, as if the PAS is struggling a bit

 

With one or two of those things I might have taken the risk but altogether it's too long a list.

 

On the upside, I did enjoy being in it and a 9-5 is definitely still on the list. The engine sounded really good and pulled strongly, as far as you can tell in town, and the gearbox was smooth. Didn't test the flappy paddles or cruise control so no idea if that worked.

 

I'm not looking for a project. Are my expectations too high for under a grand?

 

As a consolation, I've had some beige food.

 

[Talbot]

Wise. Sounds like the front is bent, the engine may need a multitude of new sensors and the PAS pump is tehfucked.

 

None of which are to be expected on a £900 car. All of which might be present on a £300 car.

 

Maybe join a SAAAB owners club and see what's for sale?

[SierraMikeHotel]

My thoughts exactly. Look how sensible I am these days though, I didn't buy it anyway!

 

You're quite right, if it was £300 I'd be recommending it to those on here who enjoy a project but not for £900.

[Talbot]

In the meantime, here are some adverts for you to peruse:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All shamelessly copied from sniffpetrol. I was reading these over a lunchtime a couple of days ago at work and got some raised eyebrows as to why I was laughing so hard.

 

"It'll take too long to explain". No-one in my office has any clue about how to be an Autoshiter. My car is the oldest in the car park by about 8 years.

[SierraMikeHotel]

I used to follow Sniffpetrol, not for ages though! He seemed to stop updating so I stopped checking back. Always good for a laugh.

[mat_the_cat]

No-one in my office has any clue about how to be an Autoshiter.

 

Tell me about it! I had some engine oil delivered today - to work, as it needed to be signed for. I lost count of the number of people asking me why I'd bought it, and it suddenly struck me what a minority we're in.

 

The adverts remind me of the old free ad papers which used to come out a couple of times a week. You'd phone up, and get some semblance of your advert appear in the following paper. I remember selling my old MZ, which somehow was advertised as a Honda MZ 125. Despite making people aware over the phone of the error, I still had one person complain about a wasted journey "That's not a Honda".

*Shakes head*

[beko1987]

Tell me about it! I had some engine oil delivered today - to work, as it needed to be signed for. I lost count of the number of people asking me why I'd bought it, and it suddenly struck me what a minority we're in.

 

The adverts remind me of the old free ad papers which used to come out a couple of times a week. You'd phone up, and get some semblance of your advert appear in the following paper. I remember selling my old MZ, which somehow was advertised as a Honda MZ 125. Despite making people aware over the phone of the error, I still had one person complain about a wasted journey "That's not a Honda".

*Shakes head*

Same here-ish. "What? Your replacing your OWN oil/brake pads/steering linkages/exhaust?". I then must sound like a massive cocky cunt when I reply that yes I am, and no it's not too difficult, should be done by lunchtime. Would love to have the skills of others here and say the same "Yea, going to swap ou my engine for a V12 and replace the floor pans, should be fine as long as it doesnt rain..."

 

I say Ish as their pretty used to it now, but the new people get caught out. When I had to do an emergency throttle cable adjustment on the ZX when I ran it on veg in too cold weather I had many concerned people who were taken aback that I was willingly under there fettling before work

 

Amateurs!

[Tadhg Tiogar]

....As a consolation, I've had some beige food.

I think your food was better value.

[SierraMikeHotel]

I think your food was better value.

 

It was ace, actually!  Not in plastic bags so I'm guessing they're made locally, and there was loads of meat in it.  The bloke in the shop was really cheery too.  The station shop may well be the best thing about Thornton Heath.

[Saabnut]

If you are seriously considering a Saab, get on to www.uksaabs.co.uk and find out what the common problems of each model are. Also usually a good selection of cars for sale. All round a good friendly forum (but of course I am biased! )

[Talbot]

Damn.... I just realised where you went to look at this SAAAB.

 

Never buy a cheap car from a city centre or anywhere where there is a market for cheap cars.  Why?  Because they are expensive and usually shit, because there's a decent size market for cheap cars, so people pay more, and overlook issues.

 

If you want to buy a cheapo car, you buy it from an expensive posh area.  That way, there's absolutely no market for cheap chod, so it gets sold on very cheaply just to get shot of it, as no-one wants the cheapo car lowering the tone of the neighbourhood/dealership etc.  Especially if you buy privately.  If the seller has just shelled out £tens of thousands for a posh new car, they probably could not care less whether they get £300 or £700 for their old shitter.  Also more likely to be one-owner-from-new and well looked after. 

 

Case in point.  I sold a 405TD estate many years ago. I expected it to make a couple of hundred quid.  In the end, it made over £500, and the buyer had me deliver it all the way to Leeds.  Turned out to be a rough-as-badgers estate, where I couldn't leave quckly enough.  His reason for buying it?  Still cheaper than any cheap car for sale locally, as there was a huge market for cheap cars, hence they weren't cheap.

[Talbot]

How about this as a contendah?

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Subaru-Legacy-Estate-Mk3-2-0GL-Auto-IMPORT/323140173813?hash=item4b3ca7bff5:g:qgkAAOSwAQBaqDHz

[SierraMikeHotel]

Damn.... I just realised where you went to look at this SAAAB.

 

Lord, absolutely.  But it's not far to go from here so I felt it was worth the (short) trip to find out.

 

I'd forgotten the number one rule, which is never buy a car in Greater London.  Everything you see is battered and dented and will be worn out due to driving in traffic.  I once went to look at a C5 in Lewisham and it appeared to have bullet holes in the doors.

[SierraMikeHotel]

My attention has been brought back to my only running vehicle.  I'd almost forgotten about this, as I use it so rarely these days, but I do hope to get it out and about a bit in the summer.

 

By 2013 I'd got my life organised to a point where my commute was only about five miles (I hate commuting) but on a shift pattern so public transport was a no-go.  It's a bit too short a journey to waste a whole car on but a bit too long for a lazybones like me to ride a bicycle so the plan was hatched to get a motorbike.

 

I'd always intended to do my grown-up licence (and I still do) but somehow never got round to it.  I had a colleague who was very keen for me to get into riding, and when his grandma decided to sell her 1985 Honda Vision he put us straight in touch.  I can legally ride a moped on my licence (passed in 1997) but decided the CBT course would be a worthwhile investment in my safety - and it certainly was.

 

3,000-odd miles from new, all under my friend's grandma and his aunt, and all mine for £100.  Dry-stored all that time, it passed its MoT and went quite happily into commuting service.

 

Cue much piss-taking from other colleagues, but I genuinely didn't care.  As a tool for a job, the Honda moped is perfection.  It's simple, incredibly cheap to run, and no matter how bad the traffic is your journey time through a built-up area will be the same.  It's actually narrower than my bicycle so filtering is a breeze.  Cars like to overtake you on clear bits of road but then you just get to give them a cheery wave when you sail past the queue.  This is, honestly, the answer to city transportation.  I love it.

 

 

Pictured with my friend's commuter bike (he came about 40 miles so needed a bit more oomph).

 

I don't use it much now because I've moved to a small town where I walk to work, so in practical terms it's a bit useless.   But I'm really attached to it, I know where it's been ever since it left the showroom and it's so cheap to run that it's just not worth the effort of selling.

 

Like I said at the top of the post, I'd sort of forgotten I had it until important letters and emails started arriving, so I've taxed it and insured it today.  £18 for tax, £80 for insurance.  I've booked an MoT, too, and I'm really excited at the thought of riding it to the MoT centre on Monday.  Can't wait to get scooting again.

[SierraMikeHotel]

I brought the Honda home from where I've been storing it, in order to have it nearby so that I can ride straight to the MoT centre on Monday.  Since just before Christmas, it's been in a car park that's got a roof but open sides and I was surprised by how much rust has formed on the chrome mirror stalks - these things really do need dry storage!  Never mind, it will have a proper, well-built shed to live in when we finally move house.

 

It took a few goes to start but soon settled and I took it round the block a few times before heading home.  I thought it would appreciate some fresh fuel so I stopped at Tesco and got off... to see petrol pissing out of the bottom of it.  Bumhats.  This was not a little drip but a real flow so I decided to push it the rest of the way home.

 

The MoT centre also does repairs, but it's about eight miles away and I don't currently have the facilities to do any sort of repairs at all.  I have therefore had to rent a van to get it there.

 

I should be annoyed, but actually I just feel sorry for the poor little thing.  It's so game, and such an unlikely survivor, but I neglect it and sure enough bits start to drop off.  Fingers crossed it will just be a split hose.

[SierraMikeHotel]

And so to the fair city of Southampton. I'm not allowed to carry over any leave to next year, so I've taken a random day off and here I am. I've had a most excellent mutton dosa, a wander round the shops, and visited the Solent Sky museum. It's great, especially if you like flying boats (and I do).

 

Have a photo of a shite motorcycle that was used to tootle around the Avro factory.

 

 

Of course I haven't just come here at random, there must be some autoshite potential here. I wonder what it could be...

[yellowperil]

Have you any more details of those two motorcycles?

 

I really likes them.

[SierraMikeHotel]

Have you any more details of those two motorcycles?

 

I really likes them.

 

There wasn't much detail about them on the board, I liked them too!  The bodies on both were made at Avro for their own use, don't know who made the mechanical bits.  The engine is under that cowling, in front of your feet - most odd!  Both 250cc, I think, and both had about 30,000 miles on them.

 

So, to return to the collectioning action.  After some wrestling with Southern trains ("cancelled due to disruptive passengers") I found the seller's house, looked round the car, gave it a good test drive and apart from a few small things I really couldn't find much wrong with it.  So, SOLD for £850!

 

There are a couple of small issues - lots of dead pixels on the display, some electrical toys that don't work as they should - but it drove much better than the shed I test drove the other week.  It's got a good second-hand gearbox in it, new Valeo radiator, new tyres, new Bilstein shocks...  lots of good stuff.  Seller seems to know his Saabs.

 

So, I did something that I haven't done for about 20 years before heading East.

 

 

On the road, the 9-5 is a bit of a beast.  It's far and away the fastest car I've ever driven, but civilised with it - it you want to pootle, it will happily pootle.

 

The cabin is a really pleasant place to be, and it really feels like a Saab - it's the way the cabin and windscreen seem to curve around you.  I'm not massively keen on wood in a Saab but it doesn't really bother me.

 

 

And did I mention it was fast?  I wasn't going out of my way to find a 2.3 litre Aero HOT but that's what I've got.  This thing really, really shifts.

 

First job will be to fix the horn.  I didn't think to try it out on the test drive but discovered it doesn't work when a Range Rover tried to pull into the side of me on the A27.  The only other issue is a very slight vibration under heavy braking...  the car stops absolutely fine, but one of the discs might be very slightly warped.  I might not have even noticed if if the seller hadn't mentioned it in the advert, to be honest.  After that I'd like to get the display and the wing mirrors working properly, but that's not so urgent.

 

All in all, after my first 60 miles, I'm extremely pleased with it.

[yellowperil]

Thank you.

 

I really likes that SAAB as well.

[yellowperil]

Sorry to encroach on your thread, but I found this.

 

https://www.gracesguide.co.uk/Avro_Motorcycles

 

I still likes that SAAB, that's one itch I have yet to scratch.

[NorthernMonkey]

First job will be to fix the horn. I didn't think to try it out on the test drive but discovered it doesn't work when a Range Rover tried to pull into the side of me on the A27. The only other issue is a very slight vibration under heavy braking... the car stops absolutely fine, but one of the discs might be very slightly warped. I might not have even noticed if if the seller hadn't mentioned it in the advert, to be honest. After that I'd like to get the display and the wing mirrors working properly, but that's not so urgent.

 

All in all, after my first 60 miles, I'm extremely pleased with it.

I found those new brake discs today whilst tidying up...they’re rear ones for a ‘52 Aero HOT that I had and never got around to fitting.

I’ll fetch them with me when I come down...I’ll never realistically find a use for them

[SierraMikeHotel]

I found those new brake discs today whilst tidying up...they’re rear ones for a ‘52 Aero HOT that I had and never got around to fitting.

I’ll fetch them with me when I come down...I’ll never realistically find a use for them

That would be brilliant, thank you!

[Talbot]

Oh Dear.

 

Oh Dear oh dear oh dear. You have a working SAAB. The world is clearly about to end.

 

A 2.3 HOT 9-5 is a deceptively fast car. It should be with 250hp on tap. A colleage of mine had one (with well over 200k miles on it) and I drove it a few times for various reasons. It's a car I could happily drive for hours on end.

 

His had an appetite for engine oil though, as the turbo was somewhat tired. Keep it topped up though and no problems. The only other issue it had was the height sensors on the rear axle for the headlamp levelling. They are unobtanium as far as we could find out, and the problem is that they wear at normal ride height. Put a paving slab in the boot to move it down a tad, and the warning lamp went out and all was fine.

 

Well bought!

[SierraMikeHotel]

Sorry to encroach on your thread, but I found this.

 

https://www.gracesguide.co.uk/Avro_Motorcycles

 

I still likes that SAAB, that's one itch I have yet to scratch.

 

No need to apologise, that was very interesting thank you!  The museum was more interested in the planes so there wasn't much information about the bikes.

 

Oh Dear.

 

Oh Dear oh dear oh dear. You have a working SAAB. The world is clearly about to end.

 

A 2.3 HOT 9-5 is a deceptively fast car. It should be with 250hp on tap. A colleage of mine had one (with well over 200k miles on it) and I drove it a few times for various reasons. It's a car I could happily drive for hours on end.

 

Yeah... it clearly can't last.  If my history with Saabs continues this will shortly be upside down and on fire - but it was always an itch I had to scratch!

 

What I want is a classic 900, but what I need is an estate and this one appears so far to be excellent.

[rantingYoof]

I wish I'd had a chance to drive a 9-5 Aero which wasn't fucked.

 

A few months after buying my 9-3 Aero and already well deep into regret at swapping a solid-feeling V70 estate for a plasticky cheap-feeling Vauxhall, a cheap 9-5 Aero came up for sale down the road. It was in a gorgeous colour, manual 'box, fully loaded etc. I knew the 9-5s weren't subject to such stringent cost-cutting and down-to-a-price interior fitting as the 9-3s, so my interest was piqued.

 

Arrived, had a hole in the grille. Would come with another and was very cheap anyway.

 

Took it for a drive.

 

Now, I'm an astonishing simpleton when it comes to car mechanics and knowing how things work and have virtually no initiative, or rather had much less back then. But even I could tell that the gearbox was completely and utterly shagged, to the point where you could almost sense the power being lost through the horrific whirring/grinding noise that would come from the just under where the gearstick entered the car, and would accompany any brisk acceleration.

 

It wasn't faster than my 9-3 Aero at all, despite having 40hp more and considerably more torque. The only good thing about the 9-3 Aero was that 2.0 16v engine...the only car which delivered a true kick in the back when dumping it in 2nd and 3rd gear.

 

Well bought sir - it even looks like the badge on the bonnet has survived so you know it's a good 'un!