What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[philibusmo]

I was going to write a post on how the headphones for my iTelephone had survived a full cycle in the washing machine and still work perfectly but then I realised that Wat would probably just call me a cunt.

[Negative Creep]

Problem is that if they were banned all the smug iTossers would start buying decent products, then going on at great lengths to justify having spend £500 on the newest model with slightly different OS. On that note, it reminds my of the wry joke

 

 

 

How do you know if someone has an iPhone?

 

They'll tell you

[Tayne]

Rover owners.

 

[Ross_K]

All you Apple loving cunts can fuck right off.

 

I'm gonna get one of these JCB android phones and use it to bash iProduct owner's skulls in. Oh wait, this isn't the GOM/P thread.

 

[Des]

[Cavcraft]

/\

 

 

By the way not everyone with an iPhone is a twat or despises said devices, some of us quite like them. Trouble is a bit like new cars it's not 'fashionable' to own or like such a thing. They're not perfect but they do a good enough job so what does it matter?

[messerschmitt owner]

what is it about bloody phones - just get a life you bunch of saddos!

 

There are slightly more important things to worry about than what phone someone has.

[cms206]

Number 1 on the Top Tenuous on the Chris Evans Breakfast Show this morning. All I need is 36 points on my in-cab game of Popmaster and my day is made

[Ross_K]

/\

 

 

By the way not everyone with an iPhone is a twat or despises said devices, some of us quite like them. Trouble is a bit like new cars it's not 'fashionable' to own or like such a thing. They're not perfect but they do a good enough job so what does it matter?

 

I couldn't give a shite about the phones themselves. It's the owner's ability to work their ownership into every conversation that gets on my tits...

 

As the joke goes:

"How do you know if someone has an iPhone?"

"They'll tell you."

 

Ba-dum-tssh!

[Pete-M]

Chap I know, Jed, his (long term) girlfriend decided yesterday to get a tattoo with his name on the back of her hand. She went to the tattoo butchers and called him to tell him of her decision. He said "Don't get Jed, get something else done"... so she did. She got his old nickname "Jez", but it went a bit wrong. She's not about to set Mensa alight with an immense IQ, but she's a nice girl. Heart in the right place, etc.

 

 

Cue major amounts of hilarity in the pub last night, one mega-distraught girlfriend, my mate being seriously pissed off that A: she's been stupid enough to get it done, B: she's shown everyone it, C: It won't be easy to hide as it's on the hand.

 

The regulars of the pub all wandering around with latex gloves with their other halves names in biro spelled incorrectly did make ma laugh like a nutter though.

 

As someone who despises tattoos I've grinning all morning about this. Jed has his son's name tattood on his wrist, so it can be covered by his watch or whatever if need be. Getting JEDZ scrawled all over your hand is just insanity.

[Ross_K]

What a moron. :D

[trigger]

[Ross_K]

If that was me, I'd get the tatoo re-worked to read JEDWARD, JEWZ or AIDZ.

[Ross_K]

Anyway, a joke...

 

A wife treats hubby by taking him to a Strip Club for his birthday...At The Club, The Doorman Says, "Hey Jim, How are You?"

The wife asks, "How does he know you?

Jim says, "Oh dear, I play football with him."

Inside the Bartender Says, "The Usual, Jim?"

Jim says to Wife, "Before you say anything, He's on the Darts Team."

... Next a stripper Says, "Hi Jim! Do you want the special again??"

The Wife storms out dragging Jim with her & jumps into a taxi...

The Taxi driver Says, "Hey Jimmy Boy! You picked up an ugly one this time...."

Jim's funeral is on Sunday!!!!

[Lankytim]

Me and my daughter hooning about with my 1/10 scale Tamiya Nissan Primera, hasn't been out of the loft in years but but having a 2 year old is a great excuse to get all the old toys back out. I also have a mk1 Hornet which is equally fun. but not as good at as scaring cats as the race tuned Primera.

[Guest]

Me and my daughter hooning about with my 1/10 scale Tamiya Nissan Primera, hasn't been out of the loft in years but but having a 2 year old is a great excuse to get all the old toys back out. I also have a mk1 Hornet which is equally fun. but not as good at as scaring cats as the race tuned Primera.

 

YO.

 

That'll be an FF01 then. The Primera shells are WEL RARE now. Also, Hornets are awesome.

 

I should bring my Clio over to yours and we should have a race-off.

[Guest]

I was going to write a post on how the headphones for my iTelephone had survived a full cycle in the washing machine and still work perfectly but then I realised that Wat would probably just call me a cunt.

 

You fucking presumptuous cunt.

[Lankytim]

Me and my daughter hooning about with my 1/10 scale Tamiya Nissan Primera, hasn't been out of the loft in years but but having a 2 year old is a great excuse to get all the old toys back out. I also have a mk1 Hornet which is equally fun. but not as good at as scaring cats as the race tuned Primera.

 

YO.

 

That'll be an FF01 then. The Primera shells are WEL RARE now. Also, Hornets are awesome.

 

I should bring my Clio over to yours and we should have a race-off.

 

Yeah, I haven't seen a primera anywhere else. I've been looking for another cheap FF01 so we can race them but they seem to have all disappeared. My all time dream RC car would be an early 80's Sand scorcher though!

 

I have a Baja Champ rolling shell which is surplus and may stick on ebay, never seemed to get on that well with it.

 

Next meet up we'l have to get these FF01's together and have a race!

[vulgalour]

I also have a mk1 Hornet which is equally fun.

 

I'm guessing that's not a radio controlled Wolseley Hornet, but if it is you just won at toy-shite.

[Vanny]

They're not perfect but they do a good enough job so what does it matter?

 

Have you bought a Mk2 Focus? Yes they do a good enough job, for someone who isn't interested in life!

[Lord Sterling]

Rover owners.

 

 

Thanks for that Tayne. Didnt realise until I saw it it featured a late model Rover Sterling. Couldnt quite get the plate to see exactly what it is and if its still around.

[Guest]

Can't sleep?

 

Tit around with your clockwork torch instead.

 

[Cavcraft]

They're not perfect but they do a good enough job so what does it matter?

 

Have you bought a Mk2 Focus? Yes they do a good enough job, for someone who isn't interested in life!

 

Can you exchange text message porno pictures with some Focci? I think not. Can you use a Ford Focus to send abusive messages to other people and order them taxis at 3.00am? I think not. Can you pull that Ford out of your pocket in the pub, talk really loudly into it and say 'I'M ON MY NEW FOCUS 4A, IT'S REALLY GOOD' several times over? No. No you can't.

But can you get an iNtelligentSmart9G10MBPIXELE-TUNES phone, shove it into the door pocket of shit French car and do all the above? Yes you can.

[ashmicro]

One of Trigger's spots has reminded me of a funny incident. Back in 1997 I had a breathed on Metro GTi (fettled by the previous owner, a Rover mechanic). One late night, I was coming home on the back road from Larne, going quite fast, and I'm thinking "This Capri behind me is doing well, I can't shake him". Upon reaching the straight, lit part of the road there was this God almighty roar, and the "Capri" came past.

 

It was a McLaren F1.

[pompei]

Hope it wasn't Rowan Atkinson driving ...

[autofive]

i have a push bike that can go faster than a GiT metro

[Cavcraft]

*NOT SAFE FOR WORK*

 

http://www.fiftyshadesgenerator.com/

[Louise2cv]

Mom gave me 2 £20 notes. Hurrah!

Megan likes to empty my wallet all over the house. Boo!

Manage to prize cash out of Megan's hands.Hurrah!

Check pockets next day, Money has gone. Boo!

Turn house upside-down. Boo!

Empty wheelie bin, no notes. Boo!

Realise I have been out of house in these trousers, so cash could be anywhere.Boo!

 

Why then the grin thread? Clutching at straws and expecting nothing I called in at Tesco this morning to ask if anyone had handed £40 in (yeah right).

 

Except...

 

They had. £40 cash. Noted in the lost property book behind the Customer Services counter and kept in the safe.

 

Can't believe my luck. There are some very decent people out there.

[M'coli]

^^^ That's splendid, well done that honest person.

[chaseracer]

Mom gave me 2 £20 notes. Hurrah!

Megan likes to empty my wallet all over the house. Boo!

Manage to prize cash out of Megan's hands.Hurrah!

Check pockets next day, Money has gone. Boo!

Turn house upside-down. Boo!

Empty wheelie bin, no notes. Boo!

Realise I have been out of house in these trousers, so cash could be anywhere.Boo!

Sorted.