New Bling from the bay of snot. Broken, but being fixerated.

[Talbot]

As everyone seems to enjoy a good collection caper, here's mine from last night:

 

Quick background.  Mrs. Talbot used to have a Berlingo Multispace that she really liked.  It was one of the remarkably rare later 2.0HDi models that had a full length webasto roof fitted (these were popular on early models, but the facelift models all seem to have the "modular" sunrooves).  This lasted a fair while, but unfortunately met a rather nasty end when she parked it backwards in a ditch.

In need of another car, I went and bought another Berlingo Multispace.  This one had the Modular roof, and was definitely not a great one.  Needed it quick, so just bought it, and remarkably it's lasted nearly three years.  However.  it's now very tired, so time for another one.

 

Keeping an eye on the bay of snot, and a Berlingo pops up, same colour as the old one that got crashed, and remarkably is the right engine, (2.0HDi 90) and has the full length roof.  Bonus!!  The advert is appalingly badly written, and there's 3 out-of-focus photos of the outside of the car that basically told you it nothing.  Best photo was this, clearly taken on a 0.1 megapixel potato, with added vaseline on the lens:

 

 

And the description basically said "spares or repair.  2 days MOT left.  Can't be bothered to put it through another", which usually means "it's fucked, and I don't want to waste £40 on a test, knowing it's going to get a fail sheet a mile long"

 

So, of course I bid on it, and won it for £260.  Bollocks.  It's 100 miles away, and now out of MOT.  And probably knackered.  shitty shit.

 

Getting the train up and driving back to a pre-booked was going to cost an absolute fortune.. When did train tickets get so expensive?  Stuff that.  I have a towing dolly I made many years ago, I'll use that.  So after my employer had sorted out their massive cock-up with my moneh, I filled the leaky Mercedes of doom up with a somewhat eye-watering mix of cheap SVO from Tesco and a dash of diesel, and headed around the M25 and up the A1(M), filled with dread as to what I was going to find and fully prepared to just walk away, keep my £260 and bollocks to the feedback.

 

Get there, and I could not have been more wrong.  Car turns out to be one-owner-from-new, has just one significant dent in the tailgate (surprisingly common on these) a full stash of history, clean and tidy inside, runs like a sewing machine, has had a recent belt and water pump, and a relatively recent clutch and cable.  Not only that, but looking in the engine bay I notice small-bore aluminium pipes and a connection block on the bulkhead.  Look inside, and yes, it's only got bloody AC as well!! Possibly the two rarest items on a Berlingo multispace.  I have *never* seen one with both the roof and AC together.

 

Selling family could not have been more lovely too.  Genuinely sad to see it go, their children grew up with it, but now that they've both moved out, they no longer needed a family car, and have somewhat less practical vehicles now.

 

I could not get the £260 out of my wallet fast enough.  Sold.

 

So now I just have to get it home.  As my car transporter flatbed is somewhat out of action at the moment, it was time to deploy the A-frame.  I made this A-frame myself about 15 years ago, and it has the added cheeky bonus of an over-run braking system... a bowden cable runs into the car and connects to a pedal pusher strapped to the driver's seat, which presses the brake pedal of the car to give you over-run brakes.  It works surprisingly well.  Hooked that all up, much to the amazement of the seller, and then shoved a lighting board on the back, for which I had no number plate.  I am then handed a sharpie by the seller to write a number plate on the lighting board!  Ta!

 

So it's just 100 miles back again.  Easy peasy right?  Wrong.  Darkness falls, and the roads are absolutely filthy.  Had to stop three times to splash neat screenwash solution on the screen and clean the grease off it, and clean the wiper blade too.  Dirtiest journey I have done in ages.  But:

 

Obligatory Petrol station shot!  Not that I was getting fuel for either car.. I just needed to see where the hell I was going!!

 

Pikey number plate FTW!

 

This is the A-frame.  It collapses down to be carried in the back of the car when not in use.  I have towed so many different cars with this now.. it's so amazingly useful.  Despite the less-than-four-feet between the tow car and the towed car, some utter cunt in an Audi still tried to force his way in between the two cars.  I could barely see what was going on, but I hope he shit his pants when he looked over and saw no driver in the Berlingo!

 

I got back home at about 9pm and just abandoned it all in the road.  Pissing down with rain, tired, hungry.  Bollocks to it.

 

Next morning

 

This is the pedal pusher that straps on to the drivers seat.  Not a brilliant photo of how it works, but you get the idea I'm sure.

 

Car disconnected from the A-frame.  You can see here how it unbolts.  The "fingers" at the ends rest on top of the lower wishbones/track control arms of the car being pulled, and then ratchet straps go around to hold it all together.

 

OH seems quite happy to have a nicer Berlingo back!  Just need to blat it through an MOT now and it will be pressed into service.  That rather obvious dent in the tailgate is the worst (by far) damage on the whole vehicle, and is (apparently) only 3 months old.  Might see if I can get it pulled out.

 

 

On a completely unrelated matter, does anyone want to buy a Red 2004 NI-registration Berlingo 2.0HDi with modular roof, littered with battle-scars, weak synchro on 3rd, tired clutch and a bolloxed Nearside sliding door?  Can deliver!

[beko1987]

That's amazing, you got very lucky there!

[barefoot]

That looks totally Heath fucking Robinson - well done.

[Talbot]

Some paint on the A-frame would make it look less shit for sure.  Its always stored inside, so I've never felt the need to paint it.  I was going to get it zinc plated and yellow passivated at a company I used to work for, but never got the chance.  Some bits are now heavily coated in grease/oil slime, so no issues with corrosion there, it just looks bloody awful..

[dean36014]

So is the previous ditched parked Berlingo the one from which I have the engine from residing in my garden? Is so hello David! Go on how much for the old berlingo?

[Talbot]

Bollocks.  I've been spotted!   Yes, it is.  Also, hello!

 

The old Berlingo... Sure you want it?!?!  Have you even got space for it?  It does come with 11 months ticket, and if driven sensibly the clutch should easily last that and more, and the synchro on 3rd can be very easily driven around by either double-declutching or just changing slowly when going down the box.  I never crunch it now unless I'm really tired or just being shite.  The body is generally a bit beaten up, but it starts, stops and drives, and has been utterly reliable in the 3 years we've had it.  The sliding door could be fixed *relatively* easily with a replacement runner from a scrapper.  I just don't have the time or inclination.

 

If I put it on the bay of snot I'd hope to make somewhere a bit north of £500, as that's what a Berlingo HDI  with ticket seems to make.  There are a load of chancers with them up at £1500 and £2k, but the same vehicles seem to be there for months on end.  Based on that, if you want to make an offer for it, you're welcome to, and I do just want shot of it.

[dean36014]

Space is definitively an issue! Got Kate's xantia arriving soon so going to have to evict one of mine onto the roadside. so probably not a good idea to get another lol.

[Talbot]

I'll swap you it for your TZD Break....

[dean36014]

Trust me if you seen how much welding it needs you'd retract your offer! Thats a keeper, wanted an estate for ages and when its done all the significant rust areas will all be repaired and hopefully good for years to come

[jonny69]

[buying a 14 year old Berlingo with no MOT]

 

I could not get the £260 out of my wallet fast enough.

 

Sometimes people on here think Autoshite isn't what it used to be.

 

Sometimes we're reminded that it most certainly is

[chaseracer]

14-year-old Berlingos are for WINNARS 

[Lacquer Peel]

Poor man's 17 year old Berlingo.

Great vans, great thread. I like the photo of Mrs. Talbot hugging the new one, seems like a good buy.

[Jim Bell]

Top collection. It wasnt in south Northumberland was it?

[beko1987]

So why wasn't it wanged in for a test then? Can't be anything wrong with it that isn't worth fixing with a history like that!

[Wack]

Good job you came back in the dark towing that , if you'd gone past a VOSA van they'd have spat their tea out over the windscreen

[Talbot]

So why wasn't it wanged in for a test then? Can't be anything wrong with it that isn't worth fixing with a history like that!

It seems to be a genuine case of just wanting rid of a vehicle they no longer needed. I don't think the seller really inderstood how to sell an older car, or indeed gave a damn about whether they got £200 or £1200 for it. No doubt in my mind that with a year's ticket and a well written advert it would make well over a grand, but I have no intention of doing so.

[Talbot]

Good job you came back in the dark towing that , if you'd gone past a VOSA van they'd have spat their tea out over the windscreen

I know the pikey registration plate is bad... but really? As far as I can see it is reasonably legal. It has over-run brakes, and the towed vehicle takes on the legal status of a trailer while it's attached to the tow car.

 

The only grey area is that the brakes are not auto-reversing, but if you try to reverse, the castor of the towed vehicles front wheels just means they flop to full lock within a meter or so anyway, so reversing is somewhat out of the question.

 

I think they would probably have had more of an issue with the lack of tread on the rear tyres of the Merc, but that's sorted now.

[UltraWomble]

 

IMG_20170928_0836321.jpg

OH seems quite happy to have a nicer Berlingo back!  Just need to blat it through an MOT now and it will be pressed into service.  That rather obvious dent in the tailgate is the worst (by far) damage on the whole vehicle, and is (apparently) only 3 months old.  Might see if I can get it pulled out.

Bingo Lover & boots

Keeper ( the missus, not the car)

 

My missus loved our 2.0HDi Bingo with A/C ( also a 53 plate) and was the only car she was sad to see leave the Womble burrow. We only got rid as she needed 7 seats.

[Talbot]

Top collection. It wasnt in south Northumberland was it?

Funny you should mention that.. It wasn't (It came from just north of Hatfield) but the original Blingo that ended up in a ditch did indeed come from somewhere around south Northumberland.  Exactly where I cannot remember, but that one was brought back down south in exactly the same manner, on the same A-frame.  Only difference was the towcar was a Disco2, and I had a proper number plate for it that time.  Plus the Bling was a 2004 model, and it was only 9 years old at the time.

[djoptix]

That's a freaking bargain. I think I looked at that and didn't bid (well, I don't really need another one) because the ad looked pretty shonky. But also, I paid about £1000 all in for mine (54 plate 2.0 HDi with the Modutop and AC) and still considered it a bargain. Mind you mine has a 120bhp remap and cruise as well, and badass black alloy wheels...

 

Anyway, well bought! Bloody excellent cars.

[Talbot]

How did you fit cruise?  AFAIK the Bling never had cruise.  Was it with parts from a suitably-equipped Xantia or similar?

 

I am seriously considering the 120hp remap for this one.  90hp is surprisingly good in what is basically a large box of air, but 120hp would make it very quick!

[UltraWomble]

How did you fit cruise?  AFAIK the Bling never had cruise.  Was it with parts from a suitably-equipped Xantia or similar?

 

I am seriously considering the 120hp remap for this one.  90hp is surprisingly good in what is basically a large box of air, but 120hp would make it very quick!

No - you can retrofit - the cut out is on the left hand side of the steering cowel - you need to get the cruise control stalk from Citroen ( £60) and then turn on the option with Lexia.

There was a big write up about it on the Bingo forum - its off the Picasso ( but the mechanicals /internals are shared).

 

Remap good ( see Wombles Wheels Picasso Dyno Test video) but can destroy the gearbox/clutch if you go a bit too far with it.

[mr_fish]

The 2.0HDi is seriously understressed. stage 1 remap really does wake them up. I'd recommend it. 

[Talbot]

May have to find a Picasso in a breakers and nick the cruse buttons and loom from it. (It's the mirror image item to the radio controlls isn't it?)  Just need to find someone with Lexia afterwards, but I think I know who can do that.

 

OH will never use it.. she tried the cruise in my Merc and hated it, but I really rate cruise for a longer motorway journey.  If I can do it on the cheap, has to be worth it.

 

Same is true of a remap.. OH will probably barely notice the difference, but the improvement in economy when she's driving and performance when I'm driving sounds like a winnar.

[cpjitservices]

Excellent - well done winning that.

 

Berlingo van I used to use for work was an astonishing vehicle for what it was.

[Jim Bell]

Funny you should mention that.. It wasn't (It came from just north of Hatfield) but the original Blingo that ended up in a ditch did indeed come from somewhere around south Northumberland. Exactly where I cannot remember, but that one was brought back down south in exactly the same manner, on the same A-frame. Only difference was the towcar was a Disco2, and I had a proper number plate for it that time. Plus the Bling was a 2004 model, and it was only 9 years old at the time.

Ah cool, there was one the same colour for sale on a local FB group with short mot listed as using coolant/poss hgf. It then popped up on ebay with no mention of any issues and out of mot.

[Talbot]

You've just reminded me... that's the only issue with this one.. it uses a little bit of coolant.  Initially I had alarm bells ringing that this was an imminent HGF, but the seller stated (and I have absolutely no reason to dis-believe him, he was absolutely genuine) that it has been like this for a couple of years.  They've had pressure tests done, changed the water pump, and had a couple of garages look over it and not be able to find an issue.

 

Apparently if you potter around town, the level will stay the same for months on end.  If you do a longer motorway drive it will lose some water.  Not a lot, maybe 200ml or so.  Sounds very much like air ingress through a water pump shaft seal to me, but having had a new one fitted, that may not be the case.

 

My intention is to flush out the slightly grotty looking coolant and replace with fresh decent quality coolant mixed up fairly strong.  All automotive glycol contains a fairly mild leak-stop, so just putting fresh coolant in may sort it.  I may put a new expansion bottle cap on it too, as that can easily be the source of leaks if it's not relieving pressure.

 

My experience with the DW10 is somewhat more limited (I know XUD's inside out, and I know the DW is based on the XUD, but I have yet to pull one apart) but I'm wondering if there's something more obvious I'm missing.

[cpjitservices]

I had 

 

You've just reminded me... that's the only issue with this one.. it uses a little bit of coolant.  Initially I had alarm bells ringing that this was an imminent HGF, but the seller stated (and I have absolutely no reason to dis-believe him, he was absolutely genuine) that it has been like this for a couple of years.  They've had pressure tests done, changed the water pump, and had a couple of garages look over it and not be able to find an issue.

 

Apparently if you potter around town, the level will stay the same for months on end.  If you do a longer motorway drive it will lose some water.  Not a lot, maybe 200ml or so.  Sounds very much like air ingress through a water pump shaft seal to me, but having had a new one fitted, that may not be the case.

 

My intention is to flush out the slightly grotty looking coolant and replace with fresh decent quality coolant mixed up fairly strong.  All automotive glycol contains a fairly mild leak-stop, so just putting fresh coolant in may sort it.  I may put a new expansion bottle cap on it too, as that can easily be the source of leaks if it's not relieving pressure.

 

My experience with the DW10 is somewhat more limited (I know XUD's inside out, and I know the DW is based on the XUD, but I have yet to pull one apart) but I'm wondering if there's something more obvious I'm missing.

Has a similar issue on a Picasso once, it was the bleed screw on the cooling system - its was weeping coolant but couldnt always be seen. New hose did the trick.

[djoptix]

I would one hundred percent recommend the remap. It's far faster than either of my C5s which allegedly had 110bhp and no less economical.

 

The cruise control stalk can be pilfered from all sorts of Citroen vehicles of the same era. I'm not sure if the loom will be there for it (it was fitted by the PO) - I fitted heated leather etc to my last C5 which was LX spec, but all of the looms were there ready; but if the Berlingo never came with cruise control then it might not be. Certainly with the C5 they just put the full loom in every car and adding things was just a case of plugging them in or possibly enabling features with a Lexia.

[Talbot]

Well, a combination of shit going on with my work, Unwell small people, unwell wife, christmas and general too-much-on-my-plate, I haven't really done a lot with this car.  Until tonight that is, as with the slightly sudden demise of the previous Berlingo, this one now really does need to be pressed in to service asafp.

 

It's gone 10pm, most people are inside in the warm, possibly thinking of going to bed.  Where am I?  Yes, out fixing the bleddy car.  One of the things I hadn't mentioned before is that the NSR door didn't open from the outside handle.  At all.. the handle didn't even have any springing action, it just flopped about doing nothing,  The door opens fine, but only from the inside.  And that's an MOT fail item, so needs sorting.

 

Time to start raiding the red berlingo for bits.

 

Pulled the doorhandles out of both cars, and it was fairly easy to spot what was wrong with the gold coloured one:

 

 

A quick swapover of the unbroken shaft from the red handle, and it's all rebuilt and ready to go.

 

The gold car had the doorhandle removed:

 

 

but I couldn't bring myself to just shove the handle back in over that grot, so cleaned it up quickly.

 

 

The handle is bolted into the door with T27 bolts, naturally.  Not T25 or T30, which I have screwdrivers for, but T27, which of course I haven't, and hence had to use a 1/8" bit in an adjustable spanner.

 

 

The Berlingo sliding door mechanism is massively over-complex for what it does... I've never seen a door mechanism so contrived and complicated in my life:

 

 

But it's all back in together and working now.  Nice little fix to be doing at 11pm in the road.  While it's raining.  Using only the torch on my phone for light.  At least it's mild enough tonight.