This is the GGG speaking. France an Epik Phail - Caution: Alternatives considered

[Junkman]

So we went on and came across this.

 

 

The Ounze was indeed a tad rah.

 

 

It got even better around the corner.

 

This looked rather okay and the pare chocs were dans la inside.

 

 

They also had this trophy, sadly a popular fate for most of the few 'Trelles left.

 

 

And last but no least, there was this.

 

[Junkman]

All in all I'm less than happy with the proceeds so far.

So I set a few buses on fire.

 

[Guest Breadvan72]

Ah, you now appear to be in Foutre le Camp.  It's not far from there to Chatteville le Pissoir, also worth a visit.

[dollywobbler]

That DAF is utterly, utterly gorgeous.

[hairnet]

^^

 

DAF FAP!!

 

possibly visit daf in eindhoven on saturday (again)

[Guest Breadvan72]

Things have gone quiet.  I suspect that the team have been distracted by the famous Museum of One Legged Arse Kicking (gets more visitors fewer terrorists than the Louvre) at Salaud les Frottages.

[oldcars]

Tried adjusting the idle on the hire cars carb if its cutting out when you dip the clutch. Great thread, some super photos.

[garbaldy]

Im sure there was something on the news about some radgey with a machete in frenchshire,

Bloody terrrrorristers trying to stop us buying all the 20s

 

Nice collection none collection thread.

[Skizzer]

I expect* they've bought a Simca 1301 Break and are too fascinated by being able to wind the tailgate window up and down to stop and tell us.  I would be.

 

 

 

 

*hope

[cort16]

I think they've fell for the 308 and are both in a Peugeot dealership just out side Maidstone signing up for a 308 on 4 year HP with mats, flaps and tyre insurance.

[Felly Magic]

I say it's something Renner and it has lord gears and squashy velour seats and is pre 1986, so a 20 or 30

[Guest Breadvan72]

Where next?  There's a good outdoor swimming pool at the disused gasworks at Mamelles-en-Pustules.

[chaseracer]

^ Naturally carbonated, too...

[Junkman]

I think they've fell for the 308 and are both in a Peugeot dealership just out side Maidstone signing up for a 308 on 4 year HP with mats, flaps and tyre insurance.

 

 

Only over my stinking decaying rotting dead body.

[cort16]

Okay not the tyre insurance

[Guest Hooli]

Only over my stinking decaying rotting dead body.

I'm sure that can be arranged.If you go near the alps look out for random English cyclists.

[pshome]

No good french shite left in France, they are on the way to Austria!

[Junkman]

Okay, have some half arsed spottage.

 

[garbaldy]

what does AV mean

[Skizzer]

what does AV mean

A vendre = for sale. GET IT BOUGHT etc.

[chodweaver]

Let's not harangue our bold heroes for not buying any chod yet - once they've done that, they might feel inclined to come home, and there's way too much vicarious enjoyment being had here at Chez Chod, Sebastopol Terrace for that.

19/10

 

Sent from my BV6000 using Tapatalk

[garbaldy]

A vendre = for sale. GET IT BOUGHT etc.

 

Hmmm I wonder how good a tow car they make, at least I would get some sleep if it broke down.

[Junkman]

Well.

 

Despite our sincerest efforts, we could not wrestle any chod from their French owners.

Emails were sent and not answered, phonecalls were attempted, voicemails left, but not replied to.

 

Hence we dumped the hire shit (I could write about it, but this miserable pile of shiny globaltosh just isn't worth a second sentence),

got onto one of those wifi and phone connectionless SNCF Tram GTIs to fucking Paris and took a bus to Adolf Hitler Aeroport,

where we arrived in bad spirits at a few minutes after 22:00.

 

Mind you, this is France's premier international hub.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You couldn't make it up:

 

 

 

However, as usual in this excuse for a country, they tease you with nice pictures of people selling stuff:

 

 

 

However, in reality, you can't buy shit.

[Supernaut]

 

 

and a bit of

 

 

[garbaldy]

I have found that too, I've only once managed to get a Frenchman to answer the phone but never ever had a reply to an email.

Bad luck this time, I don't know about you but I absolutely hate coming home empty handed.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

We would have been successful, were it not for the French. The language barrier was nothing compared to the actually answering your fucking phone barrier, and don't get me started on the emails. Viagra spammers have a better response rate. My +44 phone number rendered all Leboncoin numbers "not recognised", leaving us reliant on the generosity of our hotelier to phone sellers for us. She even lent us her husband's mobile for the day! This is not service you get in the Ibis. Sadly, it produced no leads.

 

The vaguely Renault shaped blob we viewed would have been a viable candidiate had it been half the price and in a Manchester postcode. But if we'd imported the thing, Junkman would have been forced to post his own car in the eBay thread with a scathing comment about why someone would import such rubbish.

 

The one car we did get to spend time with, the Renault Picanto, was equal parts fascinating and frustrating. It had substantial flaws which should have been weeded out on day one of development, like the touchscreen heater controls which require you to take your eyes off the road, the touchscreen everything else, and the automatic wipers which are switched off every time you touch the wiper stalk. I also twatted it into a kerb really hard which is somehow the fault of the car, although I haven't decided how yet.

[Junkman]

I have found that too, I've only once managed to get a Frenchman to answer the phone but never ever had a reply to an email.

Bad luck this time, I don't know about you but I absolutely hate coming home empty handed.

 

I'm pretty pissed off. I really came here with the best intentions and spent quite some fucking effort.

For me, from now on France will merely be the country I have to take a dump in on my way to Germany.

[garbaldy]

I dont blame you and agree even with the language barrier I've had 100% more luck in Germany.

[Junkman]

Everytime I step outside for a fag, I get pestered by at least one bugger who wants to bum one from me.

If they would answer my emails when I actively make the effort to come here to buy cars they advertise for sale,

them stupid wankers would probably be able to afford their own, ffs.

 

I also finally figured out what 24/7 means in France.

Opened 24 hours over 7 days. Minus the lunch breaks, of course.

[Guest Hooli]

 

For me, from now on France will merely be the country I have to take a dump in on my way to Germany.

 

France only exists to make the good parts of abroad further away.