Easy and bastard jobs

[twosmoke300]

Oh I forgot plugs on an xjs v12 he that have never been done before and are taper seat plugs ! That was a tense day

[RustyNuts]

Engine swap on a renault safrane. There's just no easy way to do it withou making a mess, dismantling the entire engine bay, taking the front of the car off, finding lots of rusty nuts and bolts that you need to replace (luckily I have spares from two other safranes i dismantled) and then putting it all back together and getting it running again.

 

This time the engine pretty much started up as soon as i hooked up the jump leads which was a lovely surprise but i'm seeing bits of white mayo and i know these safrane/volvo engines well.. it's trouble...

 

The timing belt is an utter shit of a job too lol but i won't go into that.

[Eddie Honda]

Front pads on the Honda Jizz. Piss easy as one 12mm spanner/socket to undo the bottom slider retainer, rotate caliper 180°. Wiggle out pads either side. Piston goes back in without windy nonsense/setting.

 

Managed to do them last night in 90 mins, much of that time spent looking for things in the shed of dread and giving out to the kids (my own) who were helping*

[twosmoke300]

^^^ book time is 0.7 hr 😄

[fatharris]

ARB links on a Rover 75 = super mega bastard of a job.

 

Alternator, also on a Rover 75 = meta bastard of a job

 

Full service on Herman (E38 BMW) - Piece of piss, a pleasure/doddle to do!

[overrun]

Anything engine related on an MR2 Turbo!

 

Changing the fuel pump wins, though.

 

Just remove this small* and easily accessible* part to gain access;

 

[cort1977]

Front engine mount on a Honda Odyssey. Looks easy with a long extension, took me about 6 hours tatting about the other week in 100 degrees, 100% humidity with heaps of mosquitoes. Bastard of a job.

[Eddie Honda]

^^^ book time is 0.7 hr 😄

...Until you have to go hunting for the sodding locking wheelnut key and eventually find it jammed under the edge of the spare.

[forddeliveryboy]

Bastard job is one which you haven't the right tools and capability for. After all, they built the pyramids by hand. But I'm convinced big work under the bonnet on bigger PSA stuff is impossible.

[Dead_E23]

Rear cross member on a Defender.

 

I can vouch for this being a tiresome job - I think it took me a similar amount of time to do mine, and I had it on and off a number of times before I was satisfied with the fit.

 

Clutch replacements are another difficult job on Defenders because the gearbox has to come out through the car so the floor has to come out.   I have since learned that the job is made easier if you separate the transfer box before extracting the main box, but I didn't know that when I did mine.

 

Doing the clutch on a Mk1 Fiat Punto diesel is another job I didn't particularly enjoy, as the gearbox is a tight fit and very tricky to manipulate into place.

[mercrocker]

Oil cooler on a Citroen GSA.   Especially when the fucker is on the floor because you didn't plan to run it up and jack it before you took it all apart.   

[twosmoke300]

Gearbox drops out from below on a defender - they made the cross member at the front of the box remove able on the coil sprung ones .

I do agree with taking the transfer box off first tho

[Eddie Honda]

Oil cooler most jobs on a Citroen GSA.

...& GS.

[sierraman]

Anything can turn into a bastard of a job. Wishbone swap on a Fiesta, the pinch bolt holding the bottom joint sheared. Had to be drilled out. Was working on the driveway in November. Not fun...

[billyboy406v6]

Almost anything on a Renner Espace, except ringing scrappy to drag the pile of shite away !

[tinribs]

Easy: Adjusting the points gap/dwell on a Talbot Samba. Externally adjustable, can be done while it's running.

Bastard: Changing the headgasket on a Talbot Samba with the engine in situ. I gave up eventually and scrapped it. Every part of it was a massive ballache due to the engine being tilted on its side and specific ways of getting bits off like the head had to be twisted off (if you just pull it off you break the cylinder liners) but you can't just remove the bolts and twist it off due to locating dowels which have to tapped inside the block with specific tools. With no room to do it in. Before that though the timing chain all had to come off. In no space to do it.

I bought another one after it. So at least I learned my lesson. And if I could find another one for sale, I'd buy it.

[michael1703]

I mot'd a 3 year old doblo lwb for a builder, it failed on two front broken springs.

 

The owner asked how long it would take, I said some stuff is 45mins per side others can be a pain, he commented that it's not that old so should come apart fine.....

 

The scuttle deposits rainwater onto the threads of the shock absorber legs and they were so bad we had to cut the nuts off and the anti roll bar drop links were so rusty we had to cut them off as the threads were shagged with rust and you couldn't stop them spinning.

 

Inbuilt obsolescence ....nice

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Easy; cambelt on a Pinto, Stanley knife and a mallet are the only tools needed, unless it's still got a cover.

 

Bastard; Replacing a bulb on a Mercedes E-Class. First remove bumper, then header tank , then headlight unit. A sensible person would do both sides whilst the bumper was off. But at £70 a pop, I'm not changing a working bulb.

[Kiltox]

I mot'd a 3 year old doblo lwb for a builder, it failed on two front broken springs.

 

The owner asked how long it would take, I said some stuff is 45mins per side others can be a pain, he commented that it's not that old so should come apart fine.....

 

The scuttle deposits rainwater onto the threads of the shock absorber legs and they were so bad we had to cut the nuts off and the anti roll bar drop links were so rusty we had to cut them off as the threads were shagged with rust and you couldn't stop them spinning.

 

Inbuilt obsolescence ....nice

 

How many miles had it done out of interest if you remember?

 

Commercial vehicles IMO should have their first MOT at a year old - some do a biblical amount of mileage and see stupendous abuse before they reach 3 years old!

[fordperv]

Swings and roundabouts. I had 120k out of a mk1 Mondeo clutch. I wouldn't attempt it though. Certainly not on the driveway. Someone used to doing them though would do it for probably £300-350 cash. Faced with that I wouldn't fuck about at home.

i also refused to do my parents mk3 mondeo clutch on my back on the drive, spoke to a mechanic friend of the family he did it for £150 labour so not worth me messing around

[r.welfare]

Almost anything on a Renner Espace, except ringing scrappy to drag the pile of shite away !

Not true, the pollen filter is the easiest ever!

[xtriple]

Agree with two smoke about plugs on a V12 HE XJ-S, absolute bastard of a job. You are 'supposed' to de- pressurise the air-con and remove the fuel rail etc but who can be arsed with all that?

 

Changing the plugs on the nearside bank of a V8 Bentley turbo. The front plug is impossible (I guess you are supposed to remove the ABS thing that's in the way?) and is only doable if you have a strong sense of smell as that's the only sense you can use!

 

Changing the steering column U/J on a Lotus Excel - it won't go either way to give clearance and you end up cutting holes in the fibreglass. In fact, any job on a Lotus, ever!

[sierraman]

i also refused to do my parents mk3 mondeo clutch on my back on the drive, spoke to a mechanic friend of the family he did it for £150 labour so not worth me messing around

That's cheap. I'm assuming the DMF didn't need replacement then as that adds a bit more work to the job. The problem with clutch jobs on more recent mondeos is that once you've took the box out its only then you find the DMF isn't fit for purpose and then it's another £150 on top of the job taking it from something worthwhile to it being uneconomic to do. Mine will get sacked off when the clutch goes, the diff is starting to whine so...

[fordperv]

hes a good bloke who looks after folks, the dual mass was fine, its a petrol mongdeo so not too stressed,

[sierraman]

Mines on 126k on the original clutch. Yes it will cost a lot when it goes but how many sierras got to 126k on the original clutch?

[gordonbennet]

Spark plugs on a Scooby H6.

about 3 hours lying on yer back with about 3" of room max between the heads and the chassis rails either side and the bloody rushing away from your arms, then 3 weeks for all the scars on the back of yer mitts to heal once its done, take a tip fit the best plugs you can afford its not a job you want to repeat.

 

Heater matrix on Seat Toledo circa 2001, so probably every effin VW group motor from 90 to date.

took my lad an me the whole weekend as we fitted a new radiator too which meant the front of the car off. Entire dash out, front seats out, then you find its bolted in from the other side, so half the bulkhead out too, must be the first item fitted to the shell when made, bastards.

 

Rear parking brake shoes on RWD Mercs, for Christs sake buy the right £12 tool from ebay to release the horseshoe clips, it can be done with pliers etc i did it, but its a bloody nightmare and even longer than 3 weeks for the wheals and blisters on yer fingers to mend and your neighbours will never forget the new words they learned.

 

 

Piece of piss jobs.

Pollen filter on C2, 30 seconds tops.

Drive shaft boots on Scooby's, bloody doddle, the whole drive shaft is circlipped so can be fully dismantled easily, knock roll pin out of splined shaft at gearbox end and out they come, none of that forcing a lever in to beat the spring clip on others where you end up with a buggered seal on the output shaft.

Cambelt on 3 litre Toyota 4 pot Diesel, 1 hour tops, all vehicles should be designed and built by Toyota or Subaru in Japan.

To be fair proper Japanese cars are designed to be maintained, far more so than any other i've come across.

[Guest Hooli]

Head gasket on Scooby Leggy 2.5 4cam. Way too much laying on the floor for half the cam bolts & head bolts.

[derskine]

Easy - Changing a diff on a Volvo 340.

Bastard - Changing a diff on a Volvo 360.

[gordonbennet]

Head gasket on Scooby Leggy 2.5 4cam. Way too much laying on the floor for half the cam bolts & head bolts.

Already decided to only touch the H6, which, shouldn't* get head troubles, if it does it'll get bloody scrapped, no way am i tackling that sod, the bloody sparky plugs were bad enough.

[Spottedlaurel]

Easy - Starter motor on Camry 2.2. Comic amount of room in the engine bay (as they're designed to also take a transverse V6) and the 4-cyl engine is slanted back a bit with the starter motor accessible from above.

 

Camry 2.2 engine bay by Spottedlaurel, on Flickr

 

N.B. Cable ties not standard Toyota fitment! That was my get-me-home 'repair' on accident-damaged example I bought.

 

Difficult - Unfair of me to single anything out, pretty much everything else I attempt due to my own ineptitude.....