Car Dealer Magazine - Banger Challenge

[Milford Cubicle]

Let's flood them with comments about their laughable adventure!

[Albert Ross]

Well I have my 70 quid Sapphire, a stack of CD's of 60s/70s rock, all I need to do is insure it and tax it, and use the half diesel/half petrol up! It has a wee misfire until the plugs warm up.........takes about half an hour!!Should I replace the offside doors first? Better leave them rusty and full of filler I reckon. Still on steels and trims, looks a bag of crap. GR8 for death defying trips to the local Asda and even the tip. Should I write about it?

[Station]

Where do you leave comments? I left a comment directly with the editor!

[155V6]

Still, it was for charity so thats allright then.

Aye, if Hitler had invaded Poland "For spina biffida" he'd have got away with it

Alexei Sayle?

[garethj]

Still, it was for charity so thats allright then.

Aye, if Hitler had invaded Poland "For spina biffida" he'd have got away with it

Alexei Sayle?

Think so, but also the author Christopher Brookmyre

[AnthonyG]

If I remember correctly there were two trade magazines already in this area - Motor Trader and Auto something?Why start another one when a) trade publishing and the motor trade are on their arse anyway?What is BEN anyway? - is it for unemployed car dealers or something - fuck me how about a 'charity' for estate agents or city traders ?

[Pillock]

I didn't want to comment until I'd read the article.... and now I have.*fumes*The extent of their problems seems to be an overheating Calibra (which they point out just after they tell you how fast it is on motorway slip roads - thrashed much?) and - get this - salt residue on the paintwork.F'king pansies. I want to see them arrange to buy a car in Scotland from ebay for £200, and go there on the train with no cash left after car purchase and some petrol. And then drive the thing to Cornwall without some massive backup team. That would be a challenge (apart from to some members here, where it's just a normal Thursday)

[r.welfare]

What is BEN anyway? - is it for unemployed car dealers or something - fuck me how about a 'charity' for estate agents or city traders ?

I'm pretty sure BEN does stuff for underprivileged kids, so rest easy AG - it's not being used to keep retired car dealers in sheepskin and slim Panatellas in their twilight years.

[FredTransit]

I didn't want to comment until I'd read the article.... and now I have.*fumes*The extent of their problems seems to be an overheating Calibra (which they point out just after they tell you how fast it is on motorway slip roads - thrashed much?) and - get this - salt residue on the paintwork.F'king pansies. I want to see them arrange to buy a car in Scotland from ebay for £200, and go there on the train with no cash left after car purchase and some petrol. And then drive the thing to Cornwall without some massive backup team. That would be a challenge (apart from to some members here, where it's just a normal Thursday)

have you been spying on me? yeah just brought back a Mk2 transit parcel van from Bedford with half an exhaust and a steering wobble over 40. Didn't call out the A (or AA) team once, have insurance will drive....

[Futuramic]

It seems to me that 50 years of rabid commercialism has finally been successful. Perhaps fortuitously the storm clouds of the recession are looming and will unleash a sensible torrent to wash away all this consumer bollocks. Now where was I? Yes, advertising. Much like "1984" the constant feeding of propaganda to the stupid has created an overwhelming climate of fear amongst a vast wedge of the population; the fear of association with anything old. It has reached the stage where anything new, regardless of its quality or how it functions, is preferable to something made yesterday. I have been cross examined, sometimes by total strangers and vague acqauintances, about my "ancient" mobile phone. It does almost as much, in some cases more, than their cheapy ones; and doesn't cost me anything. It also works better as a phone because it comes from a time when that particular model was an expensive plaything of the rich; thus is better made.Flatscreen televisions are another prime example, as is the odious plasma. Get this: I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK HOW MUCH IT COST! Nor does anyone else. Nor do I care how big it is. I have a small set with a Cathode Ray Tube. THE PICTURE IS BETTER THAN THAT OF A FLATSCREEN. People whinge on about how difficult it must be to move. I have owned it for 5 or 6 years and have never once moved it. I have never needed to because I also own a portable colour set (what was free) and move that instead. Staying with televisions I once heard someone describe a CRT box as "disgusting". That was the actual word he used "disgusting. How can one be disgusted by an old piece of technology. I can section people under the mental health act, he was a prime candidate.Anyhow, this attitude seems to have pervaded the staff of "Nylon Suited Nonce" magazine, and I applaud their efforts for being so brave and deigning to drive such ancient motors without modern niceties such as traction control, ABS, power steering. Hang on one was a top spec Mondeo so ignore that. I mean drive fairly nice motors with more luxuries than both my cars put together. Further to what Hirst said I propose my own article entitled "The crazy backwards life of Futuramic". I suggest you subscribe to read about my wacky exploits in the world of museum piece technology. Marvel as I drive to work in a 20 year old car. Gasp as I make and recieve calls on a Nokia without a colour screen. Women will faint when I watch programmes on an old television. I even record things on to video and listen to casette tapes!On a lighter (I smoke so it's a pun!) note the idea of an autoshite adventure sounds great to me. What I suggest is we all meet in a car park somewhere; drive en-masse to a large elecrical shop, at which point I remove an old portable television from the boot. We go into the shop and pointedly watch my TV, ignoring the shiny modern stuff. Then we go home. Seriously it would be fun to have a shite jaunt somewhere. I am keen to show off my latest acquisition, possibly the shite-est car in the world. Watch the skies!

[FredTransit]

I am with you, Futuramic, with you all the way! Which chav-magnet-out-of-town-retail-mall shall we meet at? Can i bring something more that 20 years old? Sorry my mobile came with an new contract last month, but I could fire up the Motorolla brick if it makes you feel better....

[AnthonyG]

I can section people under the mental health act, he was a prime candidate.

Whats your job? - that sounds like a bloody good perk!Mental homes would be bursting at the seams if I had that power !!!!

[Father Ted]

Trafford Centre?

http://www.bevhughes.co.uk/images/traffordcentre1.jpg

 

Bluewater Centre?

Or Deepdale retail Park?

[Albert Ross]

BEN are actually quite active in the Motor Trade, and offer support to families without the breadwinner, i.e. if the Father/Husband pops his clogs after a ramp falls on his head etc, and also offer residential care at their home in Sunningdale where I grew up (Sunningdale NOT the home). Worth investigating for real. Maybe let's organise a trip there for "charity", and show the old giffers some proper cars, that they might have even built or sold!!!! (Might take me a week to get there like, as I dice with death in my 39 year old Landy!)

[Station]

Sorry, I disagree about the CRT/Plasma comparison. I was all for keeping my -given- Toshiba 32" CRT until I bought a 42" Plasma for my missus. The quality is miles better and it takes up a fraction of the space, especially seeing as it's hanging on the wall.Did we need one? Probably not. Apart from quality of Xbox/PS3 games on it, the quality of TV programs did not improve and I can seriously live without it, especially as I've got to pay 100 quid a year to for a single channel I haven't watched for over three years.I agree with the rash of consumerism that's come into play over the past few decades. It's ridiculous, I've known people to get a new mobile phone every three months because it's 'old'. People who buy IPods to store their three albums of Beyonce/Justin Timberlake on. My neighbour has owned a Passat, a Mondeo and a Vectra in the space of a year. And my Starion stands in front better, more unique, prettier, reliable and faster than either.Polite rant over.

[Pillock]

Weirdly, cars are the only thing I hang onto from previous generations. Don't get me wrong, I like some new stuff but I happened to be out at a farm today, and the farmer opened his shed door to reveal a tantalising glimpse of what could only be a Sapphire Cosworth. So I went for a nosey and it was - showroom condition, tucked up, 1990 model, gorgeous. I had a little sex wee right there. New stuff would never do that for me, a guy up the road has a Focus RS thing and it just doesn't hit the same buttons.Everything else though, bang up to date. Windows 7, new smartphone every year, PS3. Need to save for a flatscreen telly since my whorebag wife stole the other one but it's on the list. Fast broadband and I've got more megabytes of storage in my pockets on a regular day than an entire office had ten years ago.Just the way I is.

[AnthonyG]

It takes up a fraction of the space, especially seeing as it's hanging on the wall.

 

 

You are doing it right ! what winds me up about most people with big flatscreens is they replace some big 'disgusting!' CRT box with one, plonked in the same bloody corner of the living room, on the CRT box's stand, in the same place they have had a sodding TV ever since their grandparent's wooden console 10" screen thing in 1955!

 

Flat screens are designed to sit on a wall, FFS, thats the whole point!

 

Philips do one thats a mirror when switched off, great idea, trouble is its a Philips so probably only works for about 2 months.

 

Plasma is deffo better than LCD, though I reckon a CRT is still best until you have HD.

[Pillock]

Plasma is deffo better than LCD, though I reckon a CRT is still best until you have HD.

Don't Plasmas have quite a short lifespan compared to LCDs though? We used to share our workshop with the company's Plasma engineers and they seemed to think that there was only so long they'd work for before they needed constant attention.

[AnthonyG]

The early Plasmas did lose brightness after only 2 or 3 years, modern ones are better but they still start to go after 6-8 years, bit pathetic really since some CRTs are still giving good colour and brightness after 30-40 years!

[Father Ted]

I have no pans to replace the CRT in the corner of the living room with something hung on the wall, for that would mean replacing the mirror over the fire, and channeling out the wall to route the cables, plasteringa nd redecorating, then theres sitting there with my head cocked up at an angle to watch the damn thing. Nope, im sticking with my CRT in the corner of the room, its done me 6 years and the last one did me 15 years before it packed in.

[Pete-M]

F'king pansies. I want to see them arrange to buy a car in Scotland from ebay for £200, and go there on the train with no cash left after car purchase and some petrol. And then drive the thing to Cornwall without some massive backup team. That would be a challenge (apart from to some members here, where it's just a normal Thursday)

I enjoyed my Glasgow > Liverpool run last night - although I was driving a £700 car so I might have spent too much to truly impress.I wonder if driving it for the next 12 months will qualify me.

[reallyloud]

My outlook in appriciation of all things modern is similar to Pillocks, I don't subscribe to embracing everything retro - that includes white dog shit, Crossroads, taping off the radio and Middle of the Road. I reluctantly embraced mobile phone technology, home computers, State of the art electrical goods etc and feel its' now impossible to live without some of these things - I buy not to impress but simply not to get left behind. A car is more than just an appliance to get you to Tesco's or talk about bhp figures, its the experience, the smell, the styling, the joys of skinning your knuckles, etc. The government will allow the majority of the public subscribe to their harebrained idea of propping up the car industry while shafting the consumer. Nothing new here. Let them get fuck'd up the ass.

[Split_Pin]

For all their faults (dismissed the Cavalier Mk2 this month!) Practical Classics had the right idea when covering a charity banger rally.The defining picture was of a totally FUBARED Brown Hillman Hunter being driven across some desert or another, drivers side wing flapping quite furiously in the wind and the occupants sitting on the window sills loking as if theyre having a bloody good laugh

[Waderider]

Amusing to hear that apparently Windows 7 is up to date. Apparently Microsoft are the BL of the operating system world. To achieve cutting edge nirvana I think you need linux! Microsoft are dead ducks for non IT literate people I reckon.

[Guest]

I reluctantly embraced mobile phone technology, home computers, State of the art electrical goods etc and feel its' now impossible to live without some of these things - I buy not to impress but simply not to get left behind.

I would say that I view new technology in a skeptical way, particularly if I feel I am being forced into things. I have never liked phones, land lines included - they're an incredibly irritating invention which demands you drop everything at once to speak to someone, without the benefits of being face-to-face. I was hoping Email would finally kill phones off, but it was not to be. Therefore, I reluctantly adopted mobile phones (as hand-me-downs) in about 2000 and gave up using them in 2004 as I was fed up of the idea of people being able to contact me in that way, especially about flippant things. The amazing thing at that point was the reaction of people when they found out I didn't have one - pre-2000 no one questioned me not having a phone, but a mere four years later I was like some kind of ludicrous Victorian throwback. I started using them again last year but the bulk of people still think I don't, which suits me.However, phone-hatred is one of my unique "foibles" - other technology I take a more considered approach. I'm open to new stuff, but it has to be a worthwhile improvement, otherwise I stick with my old ways until I'm happy to move on, often being stuck within the "last gasp" stage of a certain technology as I'm not 100% satisfied with the latest thing, e.g. I still think S-VHS tapes are the best TV recording medium to date (all the digital things feel like an awkward compromise, especially DVD-Rs), Hi-MDs are like some kind of ultimate cassette tape (which CDs never were) and I prefer Streaming Internet Radio to DAB as it's the same concept but without having to buy a special receiver.I'm becoming a mad old man.

[Pillock]

I have never liked phones, land lines included - they're an incredibly irritating invention which demands you drop everything at once to speak to someone

Aaah see my phone lives on silent - I'll pick it up a couple of times a day when it's convenient to me, and see if there's any missed calls. If it does happen to be on 'noisy', then the caller ID lets me choose - if it doesn't match the number to a name in my contacts, then it doesn't get answered. Really my phone is more of an outgoing thing and organiser, it syncs up to my google calendar and docs (yes I am that disorganised without it) and lets me read the intertubes away from home (and/or on the loo)

often being stuck within the "last gasp" stage of a certain technology as I'm not 100% satisfied with the latest thing, e.g. I still think S-VHS tapes are the best TV recording medium to date (all the digital things feel like an awkward compromise, especially DVD-Rs), Hi-MDs are like some kind of ultimate cassette tape (which CDs never were) and I prefer Streaming Internet Radio to DAB as it's the same concept but without having to buy a special receiver.I'm becoming a mad old man.

I stuck with Minidisc long after the fashion had passed, because I felt it sounded better than the emerging MP3 market so I kept renewing my portable MD recorder, and also bought a home deck to make recording easier. I only gave up when it became nigh on impossible to buy blank MDs at a reasonable price, and flash memory price dropped so you could encode MP3s with less loss. DAB is pants, I really don't see it as a major step over FM apart from a greater number of channels - just blanket WiFi the whole country and enable cheap wifi internet radio.

[Station]

Someone is doing the Land's End to John O'Groats on Retro Rides:

 

http://retrorides.proboards.com/index.c ... read=58134

 

In no way am I dissing anyone doing anything for charity or actually doing anything like this (apart from Car Dealer Magazine), but wouldn't it be more fun to do it in something old?

[andrew e]

Piss of cake in a new car, check this out, by my mate Keith. Personally, thisis a better way to shag a C5 [ego mode off]

[Pillock]

They're doing one on VZi too, except with 38 members (last count) doing it as a semi-race. And a lot of those are using older cars too....

[andrew e]

Check out this young upstart

 

 

http://www2.tv-ark.org.uk/sport/bbc_programmes.html