2016 AS quote thread

[vulgalour]

FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS BUY LAGUNAS

[Junkman]

Bloody brilliant!

[Cavcraft]

Skizzer's ebay tat thread brilliant

 

'MOT website says about 130k miles, because seller can't be arsed to mention it.  Sadly there isn't a government website for interior pictures or close ups of the arches'

[cms206]

Parky with this gem...

 

"When I sell the car if asked if it has ever been involved in an accident, I will be able to say "Yeah, Ganesh threw a tile at it once, fixed now though""

[Urko]

Cavcraft on the ebay tat thread

 

Whoever painted that person having a wank into a plant pot deserves a medal

 

A bit like the Olympics logo of Lisa Simpson

[vulgalour]

For me it's like adopting a panda or polar bear...I'm happy to pay, delighted to see it saved for humanity but don't necessarily want it at my house

[spartacus]

"Mate, I wreck mooses without giving a fuck, no shits given",

 

rantingYoof on his Saab 9000, after taking a particularly high kerb.

[Skizzer]

The always highly quotable Bucketeer on the Renault Espace:

 

If only us humans had evolved two little pedal-pressing trotters at the end of our left leg, this would be the comfortablist thing off all ever.

[twosmoke300]

I was gonna quote him for the seats made of flumps but !

[cort1977]

Mr. Conelrad

 

"It looks like if the airbag went off a tree would come out. "

[Joey spud]

Parky on the Ren20 towed home thread.

 

''if the petrol has been sitting in that tank for years it will have the octane rating of a can of Fanta''

[spartacus]

"Those GT seats look like they have had a 'custom retrim' designed by one of these Barry bell ends who paint random bits of trim in Fisher-Price primary colour schemes."

 

Mr Bollox, on a particularly chavvy Renault interior.

[michael t]

Danterzza on a miserable Carina on Ebay:

 

 

 

Probably about as interesting as eating a plain baked potato with no butter.

[oldcars]

This from the £8car collection thread 

 

Posted Today, 09:02 AM

I'm now in Dundeh, it's looking slightly less like Pripyat this morning.

I've resisted the temptation to say eh to a peh! 

[Craig the Princess]

From the AS tally thread

 

Rover Mini - Ours, completely stripped shell hacked apart by a moron whose enthusiasm outweighed any technical skill (Me)

 

 

[DeeJay]

 Cowboy up, cupcake.

 

 

 

Wise words of advice to jakebullet from Cheggers.

[Junkman]

Cheggers is mentioned way too little in here.

He doesn't say much. But when he says something, it bloody fits.

[vulgalour]

I had an hour stripping out the furnishings of my rusty Rover today, 55 years of decay, an olfactory treat.

[Urko]

 

I think your Utopian dream of a fully literate society is a poisoned chalice. If all sellers could write like Oscar Hemmingway or whoever then the world would be bereft of 'grate breaks', 'big bumbers', 'a real eye turner' and the like. And I don't want to live in that world.

 

 

Bucketeer in the ebay tat thread

[Craig the Princess]

 

No idea if the kettle/cooker worked, I assume it was broken along with most of the fucking thing.

In the cautionary tale of camper woe thread.

[oldcars]

This from the There has been a 600m collection Junkman thread.

 

 

 We encountered the usual oafs, moms delivering and then picking up their beloved little shitters to and from those governmental dumbing down institutes,

free range horses, a blizzard (with snow), a mad German truckee, white vans that tried to boyrace the haunted Rover (utterly futile), and all sorts of

other interesting stuff I meanwhile alzheimered.

[Urko]

Mercrocker on the grumpy thread - I am always impressed when someone is no t only more ranty than me but does it in a funny way too -

 

Causing me to go overdrawn and incur a host of vulturistic thieving fictionalised bandit fees from Lloyds Wank. 

 

[Urko]

Norfolknweigh on the X350 thread

 

the delay before something happens when you floor it at a junction makes a TD6 Range Rover look like a Tesla.

[Urko]

wuvvum on the lazy spotters thread about spotting and papping a T reg Shitroen GS -

 

On the way into work yesterday, nearly got rear ended by a LCW on a Boardman road bike when I did an emergency stop in a busy cycle lane in central Norwich after spotting this.  He asked WTF I was doing - I just pointed.  He gave me a bewildered / pitying look and minced off.

 

[Urko]

Bucketeer 

 

I am generally a sedate driver (I make Driving Miss Daisy look like Death Race 2000)

 

[spartacus]

anonymous user on a 1949 Bentley...

 

'I want it and can afford* it; well technically I can find the money to pay for it,'

[chaseracer]

 

The whole scrounger narrative is a prime example of how brainwashed the media have you all. Of course it isn't the fault of the poor, what chance do those at the bottom actually have? It's as bad as blaming immigrants or jews - it's repulsive and has no place in civilized society, and it galls me even more that the people who caused the crash and burn of the economy are the ones spreading the message of hate.

[mouseflakes]

This is flippin' brilliant, from Junkman in ebay tat...

 

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1973-Cadillac-Coupe-DeVille-/262418892542

 

Heaven's In The Back Seat Of My Cadillac

Let me take you there

Yeah yeah.

 

Here's Errol making the invitation in person (just keep that image ^ in mind for maximum LOL-age)...

 

https://youtu.be/ShMTuJ4VWuM?t=23s

[anonymous user]

Dugong in the GOM thread

 

Where's strip lube and service man when you need him?

 

[Urko]

 

 

AAA+++ RAFL PROMOTER!!! WOULD GAMBLE WITH AGAIN!!!!1!

 

WorldofCeri upon winning the Gooner roffle