Automotive bull5hit facts thread

[fred]

The Nissan Juke in Russian translates to  tasteless Fuckwit with small penis

[Station]

Some facts about our very own Cavcraft;

 

Billy's now famous green garage door was never always green. It was painted Royal Navy blue to celebrate the centenary in 2002, and again in 2012. It was black in 2013 in tribute to the passing Margaret thatcher, and most recently, blue (again) during the 2015 elections.

 

The road in front of Billy's garage saw more traffic in 2014 than the m6 in the entire of 2013. But mostly Puntos, Rovers and 106's

 

The garage is 316 foot long.

 

A section of Tarmac in front of the garage contains more oil than the entire North Sea reserves.

 

Shakin Stevens song 'Green Door' was written about Billy's garage. The extended version describes the contents in detail - '5132 old bikes, 523 lawn mowers in various states of disrepair, 20 motability scooters and a chewed up old plastic dog bed behind the greeeeen dooooorr-a (etc)'

[Bear]

Chris Bangle, designer of the strange-arsed BMWs of early 21st Century, was originally a member of The Bangles, and claims to have designed their arses too.

[Christine]

Calculating M.P.G. by dividing mileage by gallons doesn't work for Diesels , as they do more M.P.G. than petrols anyway..

[fred]

Calculating M.P.G. by dividing mileage by gallons doesn't work for Diesels , as they do more M.P.G. than petrols anyway..

Diesel being heavier and atomically larger than the petrol atom makes for the gallon of diesel actually half a gallon if compared to petrol so they do the same MPG but you pay a shit load more

and gloat to your peers about it - but in fact you have bought a Goose/lemon/Joey deakin car

[Bear]

Filling up your car at low tide gets more fuel per gallon. All liquids are interrelated, and just as the sea gets less dense, occupying more space at high tide, so does fuel in the filling station.

[Bear]

Brian May, of Queen, drives a Messerschmidt KR200 so he can gaze at the stars through the bubble top whilst driving to gigs. His guitar rides in the back. The Queen song "One Vision" was named because of the car.

[fred]

The new huge Cross overs are specifically being built on orders,secretly by Governments since Doctors stated that folk born in the 90's had significantly smaller pork truncheons that anyone born before that decade due to Microwave kebab/burger etc food and Batty Boy music, this is why young folk have trouseys round their knees, nothing substantial to keep em up 

[Felly Magic]

'There's a clapped out Corsa and it's running hot behind the green door' sung Billy yesterday

[Bear]

NSU originally designed the Ro80 to be powered by a Ford V4 engine.

[vulgalour]

It's not Wankel, it's Juan Kel.  Amazing how many people don't realise the roots of that fascinating little Spanish engine.

[Bear]

Peru's national car from 1981 to 1993 was a fibreglass bodied Austin Allegro,mounted on a chassis derived from the Morris Marina and powered by a B-series modified to run on ethanol.

[brownnova]

Many attribute the no vote in Scotland's independence referendum to stout campaigning by Alistair Darling and co regarding the economy etc.  However, what is less well known is the 'real' reason Scotland voted no... 

 

It's known that Nicola Sturgeon doesn't drive, but the reason for this is her pathological fear of Volvo's stemming from an incident when she was knocked off a unicycle by an old giffer in a Volvo 340.  This anti-Volvo stance was kept well hidden, until  Alistair Darling turned up in a car that he thought would appeal to the Scottish people (a Volvo 740) and Sturgeon ran and hid screaming something about banning Volvos from Scotland if independence was won.  

Therefore Darling spread this news among the the grassroots of the no campaign who were outraged by the news.  Alistair Darling kept it a media secret (he's good at that, just think how he's managed to keep the secret about how he gets his eyebrows to stay black despite his white hair... Oh the secret for that is that he rubs squirrel spunk on them every day morning and night).

 

Therefore for the love of Volvos Scotland voted no...

[Taff]

Motor racing legend Stirling Moss won 16 races & achieved 24 podiums in his racing career. Regardless of which country he raced in, he insisted on being paid in pound, schillings & pence. It was this habit that would eventually lead to people referring to our currency as "pounds sterling"

[cros]

The Fordson E83W van has two engines, thats why there are two cranking holes in the grill.

[Bear]

Elon Musk merely productionised the Tesla - the real work underpinning started as the patents for Sir Clive Sinclair's C15. Naturally this was kept quiet, but the telltale is how much the Model S looks like a Jaguar XF - a young Ian Callum moonlighted at Sinclair Research whilst working for Ford, and had been pitching the same car design to everyone he met from 1979 to 2009.

 

Interestingly, Ian Callum also designed the exposed heatsink on the Spectrum +128K, though he was later heard to grumble that it didn't look enough like an Aston Martin grille.

[Parky]

Filling up your car at low tide gets more fuel per gallon. All liquids are interrelated, and just as the sea gets less dense, occupying more space at high tide, so does fuel in the filling station.

This is true as the gravitational pull of the moon can make your fuel gauge rise and fall

[inconsistant]

True fact: because rust floats, you should never brim your petrol tank. 

[inconsistant]

Another one, courtesy of fuelipedia: If you leave petrol unused for a few years it gradually turns back into diesel.

[inconsistant]

LPG is invisible.

[Tamworthbay]

Stirling moss was once a roadie for muck jagger but quit after a massive bust up when Mick refused him a lift and did the 'rolling stone gathers no moss' joke once too often

[Parky]

Triumph always intended to use the tough, reliable Rover V8 in the Stag but Rover refused to release supply because they were convinced they needed every one for SD1 production.

 

The Triumph V8 was then hurriedly built out of recycled Metal, melted down and turned into an ex Citroen design, rejected by Fiat on the basis that that was "definitely not going to work". And thats why the Rover V8 fits the Stag.

[scaryoldcortina]

The Maxda RX-8 does not use a conventional engine, its rotary engine is in fact comprised of two mediterranian monk seals swimming in circular tanks. This design allows it lower CO₂ emissions than the previous wankel derived design.

 

Sadly, the designers did not realize that nothing from the med will work properly without a generous gratuity which is why so many cars are on ebay suffering from seal tip failure.

[chaseracer]

Peru's national car from 1981 to 1993 was a fibreglass bodied Austin Allegro,mounted on a chassis derived from the Morris Marina and powered by a B-series modified to run on ethanol.

 

The national sports car of Peru is the Panther Lima.

[Tamworthbay]

The Maxda RX-8 does not use a conventional engine, its rotary engine is in fact comprised of two mediterranian monk seals swimming in circular tanks. This design allows it lower CO₂ emissions than the previous wankel derived design.

 

Sadly, the designers did not realize that nothing from the med will work properly without a generous gratuity which is why so many cars are on ebay suffering from seal tip failure.

that is so corny it's brilliant.

[Justin Case]

Stirling moss was once a roadie for muck jagger but quit after a massive bust up when Mick refused him a lift and did the 'rolling stone gathers no moss' joke once too often

Stirling Moss was also once heard asking a policeman 'Who do you think you are, Hercule effing Poirot?'

[pompei]

All old cars used to have round headlights. This was because they were stencilled from lampshades. It wasn't until Terence Conran designed oblong shaped lampshades that headlights could take on this shape.

[pompei]

The Subaru BRAT pickup was originally powered by de-commissioned Avro Anson engines.

[Bear]

Swing axles became popular during the Jazz era. Charleston axles had a brief period of popularity, but Ecurie Ecosse found unexpected success with a new independent rear suspension that could swap sides at will, called the Gay Gordon.

[HH-R]

The Fix It Again Tony and Rover Cylinder Head Gasket Repair Kits Limited companies' side line businesses in making cars were feeling good about themselves in the late 80s/early 90s, having managed to fix the rust issues the former suffered with, and the poor build quality that the cars had when under British Leyland Headgaskets Limited ownership. However, they realised that making good cars that lasted a long time would have meant both companies would be up the swannee within 20 years, because there was no reason for repeat purchases. Both companies wanted to just go to the pub and have it over and done with within ten years - no point delaying the inevitable, so they sabotaged their FIRE (Finally It's Really Ending) and K-Series (Kaput-Series) engines so that they would blow a headgasket every 40,000 miles or every three years, whichever is sooner, damaging their reputation and selling a few more HGF repair kits. This was the first known built in obsolescence features from a manufacturer, until Ford (Fix or repair daily) pointed out that they only used 5 digit odometers to show the expected lifespan of their cars.