Automotive bull5hit facts thread

[Justin Case]

Citroen adopted the double chevron badge in 1934 to commemorate the supply of a large number of staff cars to corporals in the French Army the previous year.

[Pillock]

The E30 BMW was widely forged by unauthorised backstreet vehicle assembly plants. Whilst appearing to be the genuine article, there were a number of giveaways which to the trained eye could identify a fake car. Dealers were briefed on these points to avoid taking a worthless forgery in part-ex, and in later years the confidential memos were leaked:

• The BMW Roundel had the white and the blue areas transposed
• Side rubbing strips were only 18mm tall instead of the 21mm of genuine cars
• The kidney grille had fifteen vertical fins on a fake, sixteen on a genuine car.
• The needles on the dash guages were red, not orange
• Under the bonnet was a 600cc two-cylinder two-stroke from a Trabant, plus a chimpanzee with a Korg synthesizer to replicate the sounds from a 2.5 straight six.

[Junkman]

  On 26/07/2015 at 08:01, chaseracer said:

Above Stockport, earlier...

 

 

Yeah, the damage was an estimated £4.76.

[Bear]

The Reliant Scimitar SS1 was originally going to be called the ISS, but they were told they couldn't use that as people would mistake it for an orbiting science facility.

 

Strangely, Chrysler were allowed to call an Earth-bound van the Voyager despite the fact that only a small number of them have reached the edge of the solar system, and that's just because they took a wrong turning on the school run.

 

Speaking of Chrysler, everyone knows about the Chrysler TC by Maserati - an ARNA-esque attempt to build an American car with Italian Style. However, fewer people know about the Maserati Duoporte LeBaron. The original agreement was reciprocal, so Italy received a Maserati built Dodge K-car with a 2.0 version of a Maserati V6. To ensure the build quality was up to the standards expected, the shells of the Duoporte were shipped back to Kenosha in a specially modified Ekranoplan, for the American factory to fit interior, wiring and disappointment.

[fred]

  On 26/07/2015 at 12:30, Taff said:

 The Sherpa van was designed by a Nepalese exchange student who was on work experience in Longbridge & named in honour of Sherpa Tensing. 

It was in fact going to be called the Shirker van, due to the amount of workers who went on strike, had sickies, and elongated shit breaks while building them

[Bear]

BMW persevered with the longitudinal engine because it retains the ability to be started with a crank handle. Simply pull the numberplate forward, and the hole is revealed for the car wheelbrace to be used.

 

They tried to retain this on the MINI, by using wheels with large holes and brake discs with four semicircles cut out, but the resulting jam when the car started if it was in gear was deemed to be too likely to result in lawsuits.

[castros_bro]

  On 26/07/2015 at 22:46, RichardK said:

The Reliant Scimitar SS1 was originally going to be called the ISS, but they were told they couldn't use that as people would mistake it for an orbiting science facility.

 

Strangely, Chrysler were allowed to call an Earth-bound van the Voyager despite the fact that only a small number of them have reached the edge of the solar system, and that's just because they took a wrong turning on the school run.

 

Speaking of Chrysler, everyone knows about the Chrysler TC by Maserati - an ARNA-esque attempt to build an American car with Italian Style. However, fewer people know about the Maserati Duoporte LeBaron. The original agreement was reciprocal, so Italy received a Maserati built Dodge K-car with a 2.0 version of a Maserati V6. To ensure the build quality was up to the standards expected, the shells of the Duoporte were shipped back to Kenosha in a specially modified Ekranoplan, for the American factory to fit interior, wiring and disappointment.

 

 

Mummy mummy he said Ekranoplan !!!

[Sloth in a bowl]

After the disappointing sales figures for the Ford Cougar got back to the management. Early stage development plans for the Ford Beefcake and Ford Milf were dropped.

[chaseracer]

  On 26/07/2015 at 17:14, warren t claim said:

To maximise profits Vauxhall have called their new car the Viva not to be retro but so they don't have to tool up to make new badges, they just use two thirds of the Vivaro van badge.

 

The replacement for the oddly-named Adam will be the 'ro ro'.  It must sell only half as many as the Viva or the GM Europe five-year plan will collapse.

[vulgalour]

  On 26/07/2015 at 22:41, Junkman said:

Yeah, the damage was an estimated £4.76.

 

As much as that!  Christ, what did they hit, Greggs?

[Taff]

The mandatory part of the French "Permis de Conduire" (driving license) is that the candidate must be able to demonstrate that he/she is capable of opening a wheel of Brie while negoting a roundabout.

[martc]

  On 27/07/2015 at 07:17, Sloth in a bowl said:

After the disappointing sales figures for the Ford Cougar got back to the management. Early stage development plans for the Ford Beefcake and Ford Milf were dropped.

 

More examples of Albert "Cosmo" Ford's fine work.

 

Further research has uncovered the top secret work Cosmo did for the DVLA - he was directly responsible for the "BJ" suffix.

[vulgalour]

Not forgetting Cosmo's sneaky addition of the optional Soixante Nerf Gun fitted to some Honda Jazz models as part of the Family Pack.  The only reason he didn't get the Swingers Ball kit put in with that is that it wouldn't fit in the boot of the Jazz and there wasn't the budget available to create a collapsible pole.

[Bear]

The Bond Bug bodyshell was originally designed to be made of resin-reinforced recycled typed manuscripts from failed Beat poets, and called the Basildon Bond Bug. Unfortunately early prototypes used the first drafts of Sylvia Plath's work and killed four test drivers with a sense of ennui.

[Bear]

In the 1970s, a large Indian Conglomerate considered bringing Eastern European luxury cars into the UK, with the unique selling feature of dealerships open 24-7. An advertising campaign was devised with Ronnie Barker.

 

Regrettably with Ronnie's fine character acting, he was unable to get past the first announcement of the name - TataTatra - without stammering for 20 seconds of the 30-second slot.

[chaseracer]

  On 27/07/2015 at 11:12, vulgalour said:

Not forgetting Cosmo's sneaky addition of the optional Soixante Nerf Gun fitted to some Honda Jazz models as part of the Family Pack.  The only reason he didn't get the Swingers Ball kit put in with that is that it wouldn't fit in the boot of the Jazz and there wasn't the budget available to create a collapsible pole.

 

As you'll know, there was a kei version of the Jazz: the very short-lived Jizz.  The narrower badge made all the difference, but the car was complete wank.

[richardthestag]

Vauxhall faced further embarrassment last week when it emerged that their Ampera model shares its name with Spanish colloquialism which could be roughly translated“someone who cums in their foe’s Paellaâ€Â.

[Bear]

In the event of a flat tyre, a Citroën will carry on driving, What they don't tell you is that should you be unfortunate enough to get four flat tyres, the car will retract the wheels and hover long enough to get you to your destination. They discovered this and used it in BTTF II, including the flying Delorean actually being a Citroën GSA with a bodykit.

[anonymous user]

  On 27/07/2015 at 10:49, Taff said:

The mandatory part of the French "Permis de Conduire" (driving license) is that the candidate must be able to demonstrate that he/she is capable of opening a wheel of Brie while negoting a roundabout.

Does the advanced test include doing this, while simultaneously swigging from a bottle of red while smoking?

[HH-R]

Everybody knows that "Chevrolet Nova" means "Chevrolet Nova" in Spanish, so Mitsubishi had to call their "Chevrolet Nova" a "Montero" to avoid confusion.

Everybody also knows that "Nova" means "doesn't go" and "wanker" in Britain, where a burnt out example could be found on every piece of wasteland in the country from the mid 80s to mid 00s.

[richardthestag]

  On 27/07/2015 at 16:24, HH-R said:

Everybody also knows that "Nova" means "doesn't go" and "wanker" in Britain, where a burnt out example could be found on every piece of wasteland in the country from the mid 80s to mid 00s.

 

Colina says "bita neara da troof"

 

[Justin Case]

It may interest BV (and probably others) to know that the design for the flying buttress on the Jaguar XJS was originally intended for Coventry Cathedral.

[320touring]

When offered the opportunity to Design a car for BL, ItalDesign gave the work experience chap a Marina and a belt sander. Over the course of 4 luchbreaks he rounded off the corners on the car, and inserted 2x Lasagne dishes as headlamps.

 

To date, this remains the most productive anyone associated with BL has ever been.

[chaseracer]

  On 27/07/2015 at 17:32, Justin Case said:

It may interest BV (and probably others) to know that the design for the flying buttress on the Jaguar XJS was originally intended for Coventry Cathedral.

 

You've read Basil Spence's memoir too?  

 

That bit where he meets Bill Lyons and Lofty England in a Coventry "gentleman's establishment" (hey, even a premier ecclesiastical architect and automotive engineering royalty have to relax...!) and they find 'inspiration' for the aerodynamics of the long-nose D-type is brilliant.

[Tamworthbay]

The DVLA is not a government department, it is in fact the oldest scam in the book and stands for dodgy vehicle laundering association, it makes its money by tricking people into paying 'car tax' which hasn't existed for years. They have also infiltrated the ordnance survey and had maps changed to show Swansea as being in South Wales whereas anyone good at geography knows it's a small town in Nigeria. The only way to avoid the scam is to make sure you buy a car without the scammers V5 document and make sure any identifying numbers are ground off. Some police officers are in the pay of the scammers and may try to 'fine' you if you haven't fallen for the car tax scam. The best way to deal with them is to call them honky scumbags and knock their hats off as this is how their dodgy paymasters treat them so they will soon back down.

[chaseracer]

^ The "V419" scam still works, then...?

[Justin Case]

  On 27/07/2015 at 18:33, chaseracer said:

You've read Basil Spence's memoir too?  

 

That bit where he meets Bill Lyons and Lofty England in a Coventry "gentleman's establishment" (hey, even a premier ecclesiastical architect and automotive engineering royalty have to relax...!) and they find 'inspiration' for the aerodynamics of the long-nose D-type is brilliant.

Indeed I have, but for completeness I think that you should have mentioned that Lofty also invited his good friend Harley Earl too. It is perhaps no coincidence that shortly afterwards Harley Earl designed the front bumper for the 1957 Cadillac. (I have been unable to link to the Flickr image, but a quick google should satisfy you )

[Bear]

Inspired by Clive Sinclair's C5, Alan Sugar also tried to get into the car market.

 

The Amsmobile was a lightweight, silver plastic car, that featured novel ideas like an in-car stereo that played LPs attached to the roof, strangely interconnected systems so that the drivers seat was also the ignition switch and fusebox, and carefully styled to look suspiciously like a Rolls Royce Silver Spirit. Sales were disastrous, after people realised the "high quality engineering" was in fact "lowest possible bidder in China".

Curiously, Alan Sugar was paid handsomely as a consultant to SAIC and Nanjing in 2005.

[fred]

The Tagora in Cuba means gay Referee - the only FIFA Recognised Referee in Cuba is in fact gay and he was quite miffed so decided to sue Talbot and roll about in emotional agony as his fellow football players do to attract maximum attention

 

Here is said cuban referee doing his thing pre Tagora times

 

 

This is post Tagora - Obviously the same guy being hit by emotional pain

 

[Bear]

Nissan's (Prince, really) six-cylinder was reputed to be directly based on a Mercedes OHC design, when it was really based on the BMC C-series.

 

What is less known, but equally true, is that the British Leyland E-series engine WAS based on an aborted Buick SOHC V8 design that had to be abandoned because it needed cooling vents in the inner wings for the four carbs and routing the exhaust manifold over the top of the engine caused difficulties.