Car fixage by Committee: shiters drink tea, suck teeth, and fook about with KILLY ELECTRIC DEATH. NOW with Bonus informed* speculation

[beko1987]

Seems mobile internet browsing isnt working well in that london today, the internetz must be on strike.

 

Mr Purple - BV caleld me, PM sent, have just had a text from BV saying internet restored, so probably a second PM heading your way too!

[purplebargeken]

All PM stuff received and responded to. I will hopefully aim to be there around 10.30 or so, if parts not there then I will just go Alfa and Dolomite licking. 

[Guest Breadvan72]

Was recovering from tube-strike related coke N hookaz sesh, sorry for delayed replies.  I is LOVE you all  and want to make crazy disco party sexy time with every last one of you (except Junkman, natch, he's a cnut). 

 

Have just sent PM to purple.

 

Reliable* courier service says bits delivered tomorrow AM, hopefully early doors.

 

Compression checked yesterday, good on all four.  Plug lead drapery could well be comedy bodge by previous owner, can be tidied up when changing leads. 

 

I now owe everyone on the Forum 97 beers, but especially Purple and beko.

 

In other news, merry Lotus capers have occurred.  News mainly good - will update that thread shortly.

[Guest Breadvan72]

_{You will see just how shit the Alfa is in real life and be glad you said no!}

[Guest Breadvan72]

^^ We have our own legal team then

 

Right, I am loaded with scabby rusty imperial tools and was hoping to have gone in the Amazon, however, some cunt has parked in front of the garage and thwarted my plans to lob the Hyundai there instead thus allowing me to actually vacate the garage at the departure time.

 

So........ if I can't get the Ammie out I will attend in the Hyundai (if I am needed).

 

Just need a PM with an actual address and postcode

 

 

Free legal letter to leave on screen of cuntmobile

 

Dear Cunt

 

You are a cunt.  Move your fookin  POS or I will light it on fire, and sell your children to Bulgarian people traffickers.  Without prejudice, no returns.

 

Love

 

PB

 

 

Guaranteed infallible, entirely legal, works every time.  See disclaimer below -

 

http://shop.moderntoss.com/products/legal-longshots-axe

 

 

 

[hairnet]

why is junkflan being abused ?

[purplebargeken]

Why not, he is a foreign person after all and we know they don't do crazy disco party sexy on a Saturday morning before 11.30am.

[anonymous user]

Why not, he is a foreign person after all and we know they don't do crazy disco party sexy on a Saturday morning before 11.30am.

Unless it involves an egg-whisk, wet celery and a flying helmet and goggles

[purplebargeken]

No. That is Sundays only. C'mon, get with the programme man. 

[eddyramrod]

I've only ever met him on a Sunday.  Make of that what you will.

[purplebargeken]

Well I have all of my shite ready. Almost too excited to sleep. 

[Guest Breadvan72]

Me too. I am going to read the X Type Jag thread as a soporific.

 

Tomozzer, I will be responsible for unhelpfully ill informed comments and questions, such as "is that bit there supposed to be on fire?", making tea, and posting a hilarious* running  commentary of OMG KrapKarKhaos on the forum while Beko and PB hit the Dolomite with large lumps of wood. 

[chodweaver]

I is well jel of those endulging in community car fixery!

I however, have to check roadworthiness of Mrs CW's stinky Focurse then mow what is laughably thought of as my lawn. I dream of absconding, but I know f all about Dollys, have only metric tools and my tea is shit.

 

Good luck to all of you!

 

Sent from my GT-S5830i using Tapatalk 2

[barefoot]

Fuck it breadvan, I'm only really interested in a free go with you missus but I've got a big fat spaniard and a minor interest

in manky old British cars so I'll see you both tomorrow morning. Don't worry if she's still asleep 'cos I is classy n quiet.

[purplebargeken]

Off to the lock up in a minute to see if I can actually gain access. I have printed off BV's helpful letter to place under the wipers of any offending vehicle. If I am on the news later please give me a supportive wave or donate blood. I am A+.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuunnnnccccccchhhhhh The Ovlov (or something else).

 

Courier firm just emailed to say bloke should be here with the bits by 1020.  We shall see.

[barefoot]

classy n quiet.

Classy and quiet and clearly very pissed.

I wonder what else I've posted on other forums!

[beko1987]

Just gonna hang out thr washing, lob some tools in the car and we will be over.

 

May have to leave at 11.30 though

[Guest Breadvan72]

Classy and quiet and clearly very pissed.

I wonder what else I've posted on other forums!

 

 

I want to patent Drunkbook, a version of Facebook that kicks in when the pubs close, and from which all posts are erased the morning after.

 

Also, an app that requires you to solve a complex equation before it allows you to text your ex after 11 PM.    On Friday nights, the app upgrades and requires you to explain general and special relativity before allowing you to text.

[beko1987]

Bv and purple have popped off to gets some fuel hose, Im admiring the excellent repair to the landrover

 

[Guest Breadvan72]

It's ON!

 

Beko arrived with a pleasant Skoda bloke he knows, and Beko's utterly charming three year old daughter.  She must be adopted!  (Ouch, ouch, Beko, stop hitting me with that plug spanner, I was just kidding, ouch, ouch).  

 

PB arrived shortly afterwards, sadly in his Hyundai daily, owing to persistent cnut parking Amazon denyage. He is investigating fuel stuff.  We lobbed over in the 156 to Thame and bought various bits of stuff in the auto shops.   Now PB and Beko are together wrestling the mighty Triumph into submission .  Photos to follow.

[mat_the_cat]

Also, an app that requires you to solve a complex equation before it allows you to text your ex after 11 PM.    On Friday nights, the app upgrades and requires you to explain general and special relativity before allowing you to text.

 

My mates once persuaded me to turn the phone off, in order to avoid distraction and reduce temptation. Sadly I managed to lock the phone by entering a phone number when it was in fact demanding a PIN. Fuck knows what I'd have actually typed!

[Noel Tidybeard]

It's ON!

 

Beko arrived with a pleasant Skoda bloke he knows, and Beko's utterly charming three year old daughter.  She must be adopted!  (Ouch, ouch, Beko, stop hitting me with that plug spanner, I was just kidding, ouch, ouch).  

 

PB arrived shortly afterwards, sadly in his Hyundai daily, owing to persistent cnut parking Amazon denyage. He is investigating fuel stuff.  We lobbed over in the 156 to Thame and bought various bits of stuff in the auto shops.   Now PB and Beko are together wrestling the mighty Triumoh into submission .  Photos to follow.

maybe a little jolly involving an elderly taped up landrover and a strong rope is called for

[chaseracer]

This could turn into one of those social networking advertised 'parties' where 100 or so turn up and the police get called...

 

The SVM with added AS MIDLANDS MASSIV can do that with half a dozen... 

[Noel Tidybeard]

i r disapoint its not very "live" wheres the HOT WEB CAM ACTION ?

[Skizzer]

Maybe the KILLY ELECTRIC DEATH bit has got them.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Plugs done, two leads done, two old leads still on because of rusted screws that fix the to dizzy cap, .  Old dizzy cap and king lead still on.  Car runs on four, but badly.  PB suggests carbs and timing to be looked at.  About to adopt Plan BEER.

 

 

Highlights included swear-assisted removal of bastard springy bastard thing springy bastard spring clip on dizzy.   Kwalidee jubilee clip droppage.  Use of cotton ear buds to declag carbs.  Reequest by PB for tippex.  TIPPEX?  

 

Foteeze follow

[Guest Breadvan72]

WARNING:  contains beard strokage.

 

 

 

 

[Skizzer]

The Red Arrows are doing a display over my house at this precise moment, and I'm in here watching this thread.  Draw your own conclusions.

[beko1987]

Was a damn shame those twatting screws didnt come out of the dizzy. Even crapper that the new rimming brothers cap didnt come with new screws!

 

Excellent day though, good to meet you Ken!