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Ebay ad: calm down mate.

The Reverend Bluejeans

By The Reverend Bluejeans
in AutoShite

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John F Rank: Lancia Gamma

John F

Posted
Posted

Reluctant* as I am to pad my cunt count, I can think of no other word to adequately describe this seller.

 

Mint? Not with those bonnet shut lines, you cunt.

  • barefoot and eddyramrod
  • Like 2
Essex V6 Rank: BL Wedge

Essex V6

Posted
Posted

'LAST OWNER WAS THE SON OF A BANKER.'

Sorry.

Pedants Hat On - Pike was the banker's "nephew"

 

" Don't give him your name Pike" - absolute gold!

 

I'll get my coat......

cort16 Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

cort16

Posted
Posted

4 pages on an slightly smug advert for a terrible BMW? Really?

  • Skizzer, explosive-cabbage and tooSavvy
  • Like 3
jonny69 Rank: Renault 16

jonny69

Posted
Posted

Yeah but the tragic sadcase levels look astonishingly high with this guy. It's like a 405 eBay advert deluxe.

cort16 Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

cort16

Posted
Posted

Aye and that never got annoying*. If I could I'd hammer a smaller socket over this thread.

Mr A Lawrence Rank: Citroen Ami

Mr A Lawrence

Posted
Posted

Questions sent.

 

Hi. I have a couple of questions.

 

Does it have a dent in the boot?

 

Does it have a 20p coin stuck in the handbrake?

 

You mention that it's mint but I notice in one of the pics the locking wheel nut cover is missing and the disc is far from mint, would these be replaced before the auction ends?

 

What's so mind blowing about some smudged dealer stamps and a few unintelligible signatures??

Mr A Lawrence Rank: Citroen Ami

Mr A Lawrence

Posted
Posted

Questions answered.

 

Hi, I'm not saying it's new..but if I say it's good=ok and it's better than ok, if I say it's not bad=shit and it's not shit! never saw the nut cover missing and the 20p is now safe and soundly in my pocket lol.As for service, in comparison to others listed in fantastic.

 

I take on your comments though

 

Cheers

Andrew353w Rank: Renault 16

Andrew353w

Posted
Posted

I'm watching this, but as I never buy, sell, repair or give way to B.M.W. cars, based mainly on the driver's attitude and arrogance I consider it unlikely I shall become the proud owner of this excellent example of German engineering....

 

If I didn't know the car being sold was a B.M.W. I'd have guessed that to be the case, based on the description & the way it's been written!

  • eddyramrod, strangeangel and MarvinsMom
  • Like 3
gdhaydock Rank: Austin Maxi

gdhaydock

Posted
Posted

A virtual barrel of beer to anyone who writes and tells the seller -  'They have visited Niagara falls, the Grand Canyon and seen the sunset over the chichen Itza but that service history has blown my mind away more than all those things put together'

 

Done, awaiting reply from him

 

Hope he doesn't google the phrase, as the first hit is this thread :-D

  • strangeangel, EssDeeWon and Coprolalia
  • Like 3
Junkman Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Junkman

Posted
Posted

I have repeatedly seen stressed in used BMW adverts that it comes with 2 keys. My semi-serious question is whether this is something special with BMW cars?

Do BMW drivers usually toss one set of keys, or does this premium product come from the factory with one key only and the owner has to have a copy made at considerable cost?

  • Rusty_Rocket and NorthernMonkey
  • Like 2
Jim Bell Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Jim Bell

Posted
Posted

QHTGSmT.png

 

 

I have asked him a question in relation to the sub-title of his advert.

The Reverend Bluejeans Rank: Isuzu Florian

The Reverend Bluejeans

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I have repeatedly seen stressed in used BMW adverts that it comes with 2 keys. My semi-serious question is whether this is something special with BMW cars?

Do BMW drivers usually toss one set of keys, or does this premium product come from the factory with one key only and the owner has to have a copy made at considerable cost?

 

 

EWS mate - key chipped to the ECU. Lose one and you're fucked....unless you have a spare.

Tamworthbay Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

Tamworthbay

Posted
Posted

I have repeatedly seen stressed in used BMW adverts that it comes with 2 keys. My semi-serious question is whether this is something special with BMW cars?

Do BMW drivers usually toss one set of keys, or does this premium product come from the factory with one key only and the owner has to have a copy made at considerable cost?

I believe the going rate for a replacement key at Beemer dealers is a kidney
EssDeeWon Rank: Renault 16

EssDeeWon

Posted
Posted

BMW's actually come with about 5 keys, and all mine have had all 5 present. Two master keys, a valet key and two plastic looking keys which I am not sure what these are for.

EssDeeWon Rank: Renault 16

EssDeeWon

Posted
Posted

I believe the going rate for a replacement key at Beemer dealers is a kidney

 

£140.

anonymous user Rank: Isuzu Florian

anonymous user

Posted
Posted

Pedants Hat On - Pike was the banker's "nephew"

 

" Don't give him your name Pike" - absolute gold!

 

I'll get my coat......

Double pedant's hat on, whilst Pike always referred to him as Uncle Arthur, there was always the sub-text that Wilson was Pike's father, not that any of this has anything to do with the BMW seller. I can't help hoping that this is a deliciously ironic ebay advert and that the seller is fully aware of what he has done, taking all the worst from previous adverts and combining it all into a single one.

 

 

I can but hope, I'm pretty sure it isn't

  • barefoot and eddyramrod
  • Like 2
anonymous user Rank: Isuzu Florian

anonymous user

Posted
Posted

The protective caps on the locking wheel nuts are missing.

 

But he's made up for it the caps lock is working on his keyboard

  • HH-R and Taff
  • Like 2
doobietoo Rank: Renault 16

doobietoo

Posted
Posted

Pedants Hat On - Pike was the banker's "nephew"

 

" Don't give him your name Pike" - absolute gold!

 

I'll get my coat......

I thought this but didn't say it as I didn't want to look like a cunt....

  • barefoot and Essex V6
  • Like 2
Tamworthbay Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

Tamworthbay

Posted
Posted

£140.

shitload of kidneys then as they are dirt cheap at lidl ;-)
Partridge Rank: Renault 16

Partridge

Posted
Posted

Level of mongtardery: OVER 9000

  • Lacquer Peel and Coprolalia
  • Like 2
hauserplenty Rank: BL Wedge

hauserplenty

Posted
Posted

FURST TO SEA "WILL BYE"

WOW AS IN WOW THINK OF THE POOR KITTENS.

 

Autoshite are now reading a fleabay advert some work experience kid bashed out on his/her lunch break and are now pointlessly* dissecting it...hang on, can anyone ask him about time-travelling B011 UXD for me? [/pisstake]

twosmoke300 Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

twosmoke300

Posted
Posted

I might email him saying that I own a motor museum and that I'm looking for an as new bmw to put on display . And would his be suitable

CHRIS1980 Rank: Austin Maxi

CHRIS1980

Posted
Posted

Ask him if it still has the torch in the glovebox.

JohnK Rank: Renault 16

JohnK

Posted
Posted

I've just messaged him trying to arrange a viewing and stated that I would lick his eyeballs if the car wasn't as described.

 

Waiting for the response ....

Partridge Rank: Renault 16

Partridge

Posted
Posted

I've just messaged him trying to arrange a viewing and stated that I would lick his eyeballs if the car wasn't as described.

 

Waiting for the response ....

That sounds like something out of a Sniff Petrol "carcoat damphands" column.

Junkman Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Junkman

Posted
Posted

That pile of shit BMW has been bid to 2,550 so far.

I have long since given up to try to understand people.

  • eddyramrod and EssDeeWon
  • Like 2

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